After a few minutes, I felt better and began to think through the situation. The only thing I could think of that would cause any of this was the poker game. Maybe one of the players was a sore loser and connected to the mob, or something like that. I’m a good judge of people, though—you have to be to be a good poker player—and the game had finished without anyone getting fighting mad. Sure, some of the men were upset, but I don’t think anyone lost more than they could afford.
I’d pocketed thirty-five thousand from the night, and I wasn’t even the biggest winner. Fortunately, I’d learned to secure my winnings immediately; I’d already mailed the cash to myself.
Maybe my lover from tonight had a jealous partner? That didn’t seem to fit either. He was just as surprised as I was at the interruption, and none of the suits had been ranting or raving about vengeance and hurt feelings.
Instead the whole thing felt very professional, even clinical. The thugs didn’t hate me. They were just doing their job. Well, they might hate me now that I’d dropped one of their own down a stairwell, but it was still a job for them.
If I was reading this right, then getting out of here was going to be more difficult than I hoped. If this had started in anger then there was the chance that they would cool down and just leave. They might be cursing my name, but they would tire of this and go home. If it was a job, however, they would stick around and do their damnedest to get me.
Their payment and reputation would be on the line.
I had no idea how God Dude figured into this. Maybe he was here for some other reason that had nothing to do with me. This was a hotel after all. Maybe God Dude just wanted a good night’s sleep. I could only hope.
02 Death Experience
After several minutes of thinking and pacing I decided to look into the hallway again and see if anything was happening. When I did, I almost jumped out of my skin with surprise.
Shaggy and The Villain were on the other side of my door! How were they finding me so fast? Did I have some type of tracking device on me? I’m totally in the buff so that seemed really unlikely.
Just to be sure I did a quick self-scan—nothing I could detect.
They seemed to be hanging around waiting for something—the door was still locked and latched so maybe I had a few minutes to try something. It seemed like hiding wasn’t an option; I needed to go on the offensive.
Using my talent on people, or anything alive, was a lot more difficult than manipulating regular things—a person’s natural energy gets in the way. I’d found a way around that but it took time to work.
Instead of dropping a full enchantment on them, I’d start with a tiny, seed-like hex and let it grow using their own energy. I still couldn’t do anything big but there are parts of the body where a tiny disruption can make a huge difference.
I began by imagining a tiny little man in front of me. He was super small, barely the size of a speck of dust. I needed him to do lots of work so I dressed him up with a pair of overalls, a miner’s helmet, and a pick axe. He needed to fly so I gave him a tiny jet pack as well as a GPS so he knew where to go. Last, and most important, I placed a glowing green ring on his finger that he could use to make an exact duplicate of himself.
With that, I dubbed him Bob One, and gave him a bit of power to wake up. He blinked, stretched, swung his pickaxe a few times and then flew through the air going “Wheeeeeeee!”
What can I say? If I had a jetpack I’d probably fly around going “Wheeeeeeee” too!
Bob One quickly settled down, ready for work. The first thing I did was have him trigger his magic ring and make a Bob Two. Then both of them triggered their green rings to make Bobs Three and Four.
The leaders of my work crew were ready to go! I loaded in the coordinates on their GPS, wished them lots of luck, and sent them on their way.
The four Bobs flashed me a thumbs up, triggered the light on their miner’s helmet, engaged their jetpacks, and Wheeed their way toward the top of the door. For normal sized people there is no way through a door, but when you are a tiny speck even a crack in the door frame seems like a super highway to the outside.
Bob One made it out to the hall, over to the first thug, Shaggy, and into his right ear. On his own, Bob One couldn’t do much damage, but once inside he began using his magic duplicator ring and soon there was two, then four, then eight determined little workmen. Some of the Bobs started hammering into the ear canal while the rest continued making reinforcements.
The other Bob leaders had flown into the other ears for Shaggy and The Villain and the same process was going on there too. At some point my two assailants were going to have a nasty surprise—all I had to do was wait.
I was feeling pretty good about what I had done when Thing One and Two showed up. That must have been what the two sidekicks were waiting for. Thing One took something out of his pocket and held it up to my door. For a long moment nothing happened, I’d already started on new Bobs for the two Things, when then the entire door lit up and I felt power, like an electric shock, shoot up my hands and arms. I jerked my hands away and jumped back as the door glowed. All the light slid to the locks, as one by one they disengaged, and the door opened.
That was not good, not good at all.
Shaggy and The Villain entered first, followed by the Things.
Suddenly the room felt very small.
Thing Two put the Do Not Disturb sign on the outside handle and closed the door. The room had gone from feeling like a safe place to feeling like my tomb.
I needed to slow the action down—give the magic time to work—and somehow come up with another plan.
“Hey guys! I’m glad you could make it! It wouldn’t be a party without you.”
I flashed my brightest smile and waved like I was inviting them into the room. The aura of menace they were projecting faltered as they looked at each other in confusion.
“I’m sorry I don’t have lots of party food but there are a few things in the mini fridge and some complimentary chips and candy bars by the TV. No sense in kicking my ass while you’re hungry.”
I tossed two candy bars over to Shaggy and The Villain and grabbed a bag of chips for myself. To keep the show going I opened it and started munching.
“What would you guys like?” I asked the Things as I got into the mini-bar. “Maybe a drink to help you get in the mood for a nice smack down? I have a single serving of a nice white wine, or– oooh, some Jack Daniels!”
Shaggy had just opened his candy bar and was getting ready to take a bite when Thing One reached over smooshed it in his hand.
“Don’t ever take anything from the sups,” he growled. “They’re tricky bastards. You never know what they are trying to do to you.”
Sups? What the heck are sups?
“It’s just a candy bar,” Shaggy whined, until Thing One really clamped down on his hand. Then he turned white and shut up.
Thing One looked over at The Villain who quickly threw his chocolate away. It seemed pretty clear who was in charge.
“Now, we are going to guard the door so he can’t get away again. You two have first crack at kicking his ass. It’s a small room so he can’t go far.”
Shaggy started to scrape the chocolate off his hand.
“Pardon me, guys, but what is a sup?” They all looked at me like I was stupid.
“Well, you are. You’re a sup,” The Villain spoke up.
“But what is that? A supervisor? A superintendent? I was a shift supervisor at Yum Burgers once but I can promise you I wasn’t mean to anyone. Well, except for a few customers but they were the assholes first.”
“You’re a supernatural.” My face must have registered how shocked I was. “Don’t look so surprised, even a young sup knows they are special.”
I’d never told anyone since I moved to Louisville what I could do and I’d never met anyone else who seemed magical. Well, other than tonight. Tonight seemed to be full of magical surprises. Were there other people like me?
&nb
sp; Shaggy chuckled. “I think we might have a real case of Ugly Duckling, fellas. This sup doesn’t know who he is.”
“Not that is matters,” Thing One spoke up. “A job is a job. Remember, no knives, no guns, he is to be beaten only. Take your time too—the client wants his last hours to really hurt.”
“Go have your fun, just don’t kill him yet. We’ll do that when it’s our turn.”
The casual discussion about my demise and what was going to precede it sent a chill through me. They were so matter of fact. It seemed to put the stamp of truth on the next few hours. I was going to have a horrible, painful death.
Shaggy and The Villain started to move toward me. They were moving slowly, carefully, keeping me at one end of the hotel room.
The dresser/desk with the TV was on one wall, the bed on the other, with a path between them. The path was comfortable enough for one person but a bit cramped for two. Behind me was a table, two chairs, and a standing lamp. There was more space to maneuver, but that would benefit them more than me. Hopefully I could work it so I would only have to face one of them at a time. My odds of getting through this still sucked, but they sucked less than dealing with all the goons at once.
I pulled over the TV, it landed with barely a clatter on the soft carpet. It wasn’t much but they would need to step on or over the TV to get to me. Their footing wouldn’t be solid and hopefully I could use that to my advantage.
Adrenaline poured through me again and I was trembling with nervous anticipation.
The anticipation was getting to Shaggy too. He hovered on one side of the fallen TV, not quite ready to make the first move. The Villain was right behind him, trying to look menacing, yet obviously happy he wasn’t going first.
I used the lull in the action to quickly visualize another Flying Miner. The image was fresh in my mind from the previous enchantment, so he formed quickly. I filled him with energy, duplicated him, and was starting to give out GPS coordinates, when Shaggy worked up the nerve to attack. It was awful timing. I lost my concentration and all four miners popped out of existence. I had hoped the Flying Miners would be working on the Things as I was dealing with these two.
Shaggy gave a battle yell as he screwed up his courage, stepped on the TV, and lunged in with a left hook. I didn’t want to give any ground, so I threw up both arms to block it, as well as the right hook that followed.
He threw a left hook again, not much imagination here, then he did what I’d been hoping and waiting for. He staggered and the next punch went wild.
My enchantment was finally working!
The human ear is a sensitive collection of bones, nerves, and fluids. Mess with it, and you can cause phantom sounds, headaches, and most importantly, loss of balance and nausea. It’s really hard to fight when the room is tilting like a carnival ride and your head is pounding like a ten-shot hangover.
Shaggy staggered toward the bed, then back toward the desk. He tripped, fell, and smacked his head on the side of the desk. It was a solid hit; his skull emitted a solid thunk and bounced a bit. It hurt just watching it.
The Villain wasn’t having any fun either. He was down on all fours doing a passable imitation of a pub crawl. He smelled like it too when he threw up.
Two goons down. Two to go. Unfortunately, it was the hardest two and I didn’t have any enchantments on them.
I was just starting to work on another round of Flying Miners when Thing One launched into action. He operated like a pro, no hesitation, no sarcastic comments, just quick efficient action.
He dove onto the bed, rolled, and came up in the clear space by the table and chairs. With one smart move he’d gotten to the only open spot in the room, leaving me trapped against the wall, desk, and two guys on the floor.
Reaching into his jacket pocket, he pulled out two collapsible metal batons and flicked his wrists to activate them. They snapped out to a good two feet of military grade steel, then he charged.
The batons gave him reach, power, speed. My magic was small and slow. I had no chance to stop him.
The first blow smacked onto my right arm, the pain hit me like a bath of ice water. I didn’t know one hit could hurt so badly. The second, third, and fourth blows showed that it was no fluke, they all hurt that bad.
I tried to move, to cover up somehow, but the beating was relentless. He turned my naked flesh into a mass of deep bruises. He beat my chest, thighs, back, arms—whatever part of me he could reach. He left my head untouched, or else I would have quickly been unconscious.
It seemed like this went on for a long time. When he finally stopped, I was a quivering, huddled mass of flesh pressed up against the desk for the tiny bit of shelter it offered.
Someone was screaming. It just went on and on.
Then I realized it was me.
I stopped, drew in big gasps of air, and huddled, shivering, trying to make myself as small as possible.
I don’t know why he stopped, and I didn’t care. My world was one of hurt and pain.
I was in shock that something so horrible and awful had happened to me. I just couldn’t comprehend it.
Finally, I looked up.
He was sitting on the bed looking at me. A faint smile played on his face.
I couldn’t see Thing Two, he must have still been guarding the door.
“I’m sure you’re wondering why I stopped.”
I was, actually. I was deathly afraid of the answer.
“I’m giving your mind time to catch up.”
WTF?
“Your body will discover all kinds of new sensations this evening, but all that will be wasted if your mind can’t keep up. In order for you to get the most out of your last hours, we will take a few breaks, to reset what is normal for you, before we take it to the next level.”
I really, really did not want to go to the next level.
“Speaking of breaks…” He left the bed and sat beside me. He then started gently touching me, running his hand over my arms and body, pausing to point out an area of skin that still had normal coloring instead of blue or purple.
“Looks like I missed a spot.” He smiled.
This was super creepy. I flinched when he touched me and tried to shrink away, but there was nowhere to go. As he kept touching me, I relaxed a bit.
He held my right hand, gradually extending my arm.
Then he stood, pulled me up by my wrist, bent my arm over the desk, and snapped it in two.
I just stared. My arm left my shoulder in a normal line, then, just above the elbow, it hung straight toward the floor.
Arms aren’t supposed to do that.
And someone was screaming again.
There is something about a broken bone that makes the world stop. I wanted to call time out, I’m finished, the end.
I wanted to go home.
I wanted my Mommy.
I wanted an adult to walk in and make everything alright.
Nothing like that happened. The room didn’t reset. The men didn’t go away.
Thing One peeled me off the desk and held me against the wall. He began touching me again. Working his way down, until his hand was cupping my balls.
“Stage Three,” he said, and squeezed.
I discovered there were different flavors of pain. The pain from the baton whipping was sharp and urgent. The broken arm felt deep, consistent, crippling. The pain from my testicles was a mix of the two. It was deep, powerful, and yet urgent in its intensity.
Thing One had the powerful grip of a farm hand, and the sensitivity levels of a surgeon. He varied the crush and focus so the pain was constantly changing. Sometimes he would focus on one testicle, and sometimes he would mash them both together.
Sometimes I howled. Sometimes I begged him to stop. Sometimes I just said “Please” over and over again.
I would like to say I’d planned to vomit all over him, but I hadn’t. It was a lucky accident.
It wasn’t a little bit of puke, either. It was like demon possessed, pure projectile
, hurl everything in your guts, type of vomit.
It poured down his shirt, inside and outside his suit, and splashed up onto his face.
I wish I could have enjoyed his look of revulsion and horror, but as he stepped back and let me go, I just sunk to the floor in relief.
Thing Two started laughing.
“Shut the fuck up!” Thing One yelled at him as he started toward the bathroom. That really set Thing Two off, and he started laughing so hard he snorted.
The bathroom door slammed closed, and for a while all I heard was the laughing. He finally quieted down, then Thing Two came over, squatted down, and looked at me.
“You gotta forgive my partner. He really gets into the artist side of his work. He calls it the Death Experience, and really tries to give sups like you something special before you pass on. Think of it as your last chance to do penance, or build character, or something like that.”
“I just keep it simple. The client says to beat you, so I do. Life is hard. Sometimes leaving it is hard too.”
With that, he punched me in the face. My head snapped back and bounced off the wall, only to meet his next punch.
We built up a nice rhythm, him punching and me bouncing.
The nice thing was my brain started rattling around and my world got foggy. A foggy world didn’t hurt so much and that was appreciated.
My eyes swelled shut pretty quickly. That was fine with me. I didn’t want to see what was happening anyway.
“Move along people, there’s nothing to see.” I said in my best Leslie Nielsen voice. Or I think I said it. Anyway, it was hysterical, and I just laughed and laughed.
Actually, I don’t think I could have been laughing on the outside, because my jaw shattered and my mouth just hung open.
My mind drifted.
Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if I died after all. All I did was hurt people. Like my dad. I hadn’t meant to harm anyone. He just made me so angry sometimes.
And then there was the fire. I could still hear my sister screaming.
I worked so hard not to hurt anyone, not to get angry, not to get attached. I just let go. Moved on.
Misfit Mage Page 2