by M. Robinson
She just stood there looking at me, silently confirming what I feared. Michael grabbed Amari’s hand and she helped him up, putting his arm around her neck and leaning on her for support.
Fucking pussy.
“This ends now, Alejandro. He’s just trying to protect her. You should be thanking him, not trying to fight him.”
“Are you that fucking blind?”
“It doesn’t matter anymore,” Amari paused to let her words sink in. “I’m pregnant, and we are getting married,” she revealed, almost knocking me on my ass. “Michael asked me to marry him, and I said yes. We’re leaving, and there is nothing you can say or do about it.”
It was like blow, after blow, after fucking blow to my heart.
I almost fell to the ground, stunned. Watching as she helped the piece of shit sit on the bed. Turning back around to face me again.
“You’re going to be an uncle. I think it’s a girl,” Amari nervously laughed, trying to lessen the tension that filled the room. The air was so fucking thick I could barely breathe. Suffocating in the truth that surrounded us.
“If it is, we’re naming her Daisy.”
“Jesus Christ,” I whispered to myself, attempting to take everything in. The room felt as though it was caving in on me. I took a few deep breaths, trying to calm the fury within me. Wanting nothing more than to take out the son of a bitch who got her pregnant and put a fucking bullet in his goddamn head.
“I can’t stay here anymore. There’s nothing left for me. I need to move on with my life, raise a family. Get a house where my babies will be safe. Where my family won’t live in fear,” she added.
“What about me? Huh?”
“You’ll always be my brother, Alejandro. If you want to be in our lives, you’re always welcome. But you’re going to have to accept Michael as part of mine. He’s the father of your niece or nephew. We’re all family now.”
I was over to Michael in three strides without giving it a second thought. Getting right up in his face. Grabbing the front of his shirt, jerking him up and toward me.
“Alejandro!” Amari tugged at my shoulder, trying to stop me, but I didn’t pay her any mind. Too focused on my task at hand.
“You take care of my sister and that baby. Do you understand me? This is the last time I will ever grant you another warning. You protect them with your life. You treat and respect her like she fucking deserves. All I need is a reason… Give me one reason, motherfucker. I don’t care who the fuck you are, or what you mean to Amari,” I gritted out through a clenched jaw. “I will lay you the fuck out, and not think twice about it.”
I shoved him off. He lost his balance, stammering to sit back on the bed to regain his composure. “They’re my life. I love your sister and that baby more than anything,” Michael declared his love and devotion. Complete and utter bullshit.
I shook my head, slowly stepping away, needing to get the fuck out of the room before I did something I would regret. Sophia trailed closely behind as I furiously made my way back into my room. Shutting the door behind her, I paced around the room with my feet moving on their own accord. Fueled by uncontrollable rage, burning a hole in the floor beneath me. Each stride only added to the tension I felt in my core, throbbing through my veins, producing a piercing sting in my mind.
“Alejan—”
I put my hand out, silencing her as I continued to pace around the room. “Don’t.”
“Let me just—”
“I’m fucking warning you, Sophia. Not. Right. Now.”
“You’re warning me? What, am I next?”
I stopped dead in my tracks, glaring at her. Cocking my head to the side, I scoffed out, “Let’s just say I wouldn’t take my warning lightly. I want nothing more than to take my goddamn anger out on your sweet little ass right now. But contrary to what you seem to think about me now, I’m not a fucking monster.”
She jerked back, hurt.
I didn’t falter. “Is that all it takes for you to turn on me? Because I’ll tell you right now, Michael is a dime a dozen, sweetheart. There will be a Michael around, lurking in the corner, trying to make you turn against me. Especially after you carry my name.”
She grimaced.
I raised an eyebrow, stepping toward her, causing her to back away until she hit the wall with a thud. I caged her in with my arms, eyeing her up and down.
“Since when do you want me to fight your battles?” she asked not backing down.
“You didn’t say one word in there, Sophia. Not one fucking word. I don’t need you to fight my battles. I need you to fight for our love.”
I saw doubt in her eyes for the first time. She didn’t even try to hide it. And that look alone almost brought me to my knees. I pushed off the wall, slowly backing away from her. My father’s words from not so long ago coming back to haunt me.
“Do you think she’s strong enough to handle our lifestyle? Your future.”
I shook my head, ridding myself of doubts and memories as she reached for me, immediately realizing her mistake.
I shoved away her embrace, roughly grabbing her chin instead and spoke with conviction, “Actions will always speak louder than words, cariño, and yours just spoke fucking volumes.” I let go of her and walked away, leaving her to wallow in the doubt that I knew was now implanted in her head.
I went up to the attic of the only home I’d ever known, feeling more alone than I’d ever felt before. Contemplating if this was the life that I was destined to lead.
No family.
No love.
No God.
Only darkness.
I sat there for what felt like hours, lost in the depths of my mind. A menacing place I didn’t like to frequent very often.
I felt her presence before she even sat down next to me. Amari took a deep breath, whispering, “I knew I’d find you up here.” She stared out ahead, gathering her thoughts with what she wanted to say to me. Already knowing this was going to be one of our last conversations for who knows how long. “I have loved Michael all my life. He’s the only future I ever wanted. I’ve ever needed. I’ve always known he was my way out. A baby would just seal us together, forever.”
I glanced at her, narrowing my eyes as I processed her words and what she was implying.
“Michael is a good man. Contrary to what you think, he will be an amazing husband and father. No one will take him away from me. He’s mine now.”
We locked eyes.
“I love you, Alejandro. You’ll always be my brother, no matter what. I’ll always be a Martinez, and with that name comes purgatory. I need you to promise me something.”
“Anything,” I simply stated, breaking my silence.
“If something were to happen to Michael and I… I need you to promise me, to swear to me on your life that you will step up and raise our child as your own.”
“Amari—”
She stopped me, putting her index finger to my mouth. “Promise me.”
“Why me? You’re running away from this life and yet you trust me with your child?”
“Michael’s parents are old, and he’s an only child. You’re the only family I have. The evil you know is better than the evil you don’t.”
I nodded, murmuring, “I promise,” as I leaned forward to kiss the top of her head. I allowed my lips to linger for a few seconds. “Nothing will ever happen to you.”
She lovingly smiled. “I have to go. Michael is waiting for me.” Getting up, she went to the stairs without a second glance.
Walking away from her past to be with her future. Vanishing right before my eyes.
I needed to get the fuck out of there. I didn’t know where I was going, but I needed to clear the thoughts that were pushing me deeper and deeper down the black hole of life. I grabbed my keys and wallet from the kitchen counter and headed toward the front of the house, passing my father’s office on the way out. His door was slightly ajar, and I could hear voices on the other side.
“She got what she dese
rved,” Dad laughed, causing me to abruptly stop.
I thought the moment my mother took her last breath would forever haunt me, an image that was carved into my mind till the day I die. But the next words out of my father’s mouth killed me completely.
“Sorry for taking so long to contact you, I had a lot of heat on my shoulders, but I just want to thank you for taking care of business. They both got what they deserved. The bitch should have known better than to betray me. She came from nothing, she had no clothes on her back, and I gave her everything she yearned for. And she paid me back by fucking her bodyguard? The puta deserved every last bullet she got,” he confessed, with nothing but amusement in his voice.
Destroying the last part of my humanity and my soul.
A lot had changed in the last few months. Amari and Michael left a few days after our altercation, leaving behind all the bad memories, including me. She left without saying goodbye. Not so much as a note to tell me where they were going. But I had my ways to keep tabs on them. They were living in Washington, playing fucking house. Amari was a housewife who devoted her hours to charity work, and Michael got a job with an import/export company. My father didn’t even bat an eye when I told him they got married at a courthouse while he was handling business in Colombia. I never spoke of the day I learned the truth. I let him go on pretending to be a grieving widower and me a devoted son. Even though I wanted nothing more than to end him.
I moved into my own penthouse in Manhattan, similar to the one my father owned. The whole top floor was mine. I wanted privacy now more than ever. It was a spacious seven-thousand-square-foot penthouse that overlooked the Brooklyn Bridge. Floor-to-ceiling windows lined the east wall with French doors that opened to a private balcony. I spent most of my time sitting out there, breathing in the city that never slept.
Exactly like me.
They say your body gets used to whatever it’s given. It’s our natural form of survival. Adaptation in its truest form. I was lucky if I slept two to three hours a night, never fully reaching the deep sleep phase. The faintest sounds woke me during the night. I was always looking over my shoulder, unable to trust anyone in this life.
Including my father.
I spent hours in my office working just to keep myself moving, much like him.
The irony was not lost on me.
Distance was supposed to make the heart grow fonder, and that was proving to be true. At least in my case, I couldn’t speak for Sophia. I fucking missed her like crazy. She was my world, the air I needed to breathe. She had been distant lately, but I refused to let my mind ponder the reasons behind her behavior, the thought almost too much for me to bear. Deep down I knew what Michael told her changed us, but I decided that if I wanted us to get back on track, then I had to fight for my girl.
I told her to meet me at my place one evening. She’d only been there a handful of times, but never stayed for too long, always with an excuse of why she had to go. I wanted her to move in. I wanted us to get married, but I also knew she needed time. After all the loss I had experienced these past few months, I wanted her next to me. I needed to know she loved me for who I was. Wanting nothing more than to hold her in my arms every night and wake up to her beautiful face every morning.
I ordered dinner from her favorite restaurant downtown, making sure to get everything she loved off the menu and then some. I even went the extra mile and had someone come in and decorate the dining room and bedroom with all kinds of romantic shit women loved. Hoping that this night would be a new starting point for us.
A new beginning.
When the bodyguard let her in, I took in her thinning frame. She looked as exhausted as I felt, but God, she was still so fucking beautiful, so completely breathtaking. I leaned against the wall in the shadows, wanting a few seconds to look at her without her knowing. Her dark brown hair was down and flowing with the light breeze that cascaded through the room from the balcony doors being open. She wore a cream-colored dress that hit just above her knees, with matching heels. I watched her with a predatory regard as she gazed around the room looking for me.
“Hey,” she breathed out, visibly nervous when she found me.
I smiled for what felt like the first time in weeks. “Come here.”
She made her way over to me, her dress flowing with every step that brought her closer. I watched the way she moved, the way her body swayed with each step she took, the way her scent assaulted my senses. I couldn’t fucking help myself, I reached out instantly taking her into my arms when she was within reach, holding her as tight as I could. Breathing her in, cherishing the feel of her against me again.
“God, you feel so damn good.”
She melted into my arms.
We stayed lost in each other for I don’t know how long, chest-to-chest feeling our hearts beating as one. I grabbed the sides of her face, needing to kiss her. Wanting to devour her. She looked deep into my eyes, intently searching for something in my stare. Looking for a trace of the man I used to be. Trying to find signs of the man she fell in love with, the remnants of who we were once upon a time. I had never seen her look at me like that before.
Longing.
I slowly moved my thumbs along the edge of her face, tracing her cheeks from side to side. Soaking up the feel of her skin against my fingertips. Ever so softly brushing my lips against the shell of her ear, remembering how she used to feel. Pulling back, our eyes connected again. She licked her lips as I brushed my finger down her chin to her neck, stopping to caress her beating pulse on the side of her throat. Feeling the effect she always had on me. I made my way down to her chest, breaking eye contact, and focusing on her heart that I hoped still belonged to me. Caressing my fingers along it, sending shivers that shook her core.
Her heart was now beating a mile a minute, nothing compared to my steady beat. She gazed up into my eyes with a glazed look in hers. They had changed from what I saw only a few seconds ago. She looked down at my lips, taking a deep breath, stepping closer to me, leaving no space between us. Her hand settled on the side of my neck, standing on the tips of her toes with our eyes still locked, she leaned in, tenderly placing her lips on mine.
Our mouths moved together as if they were made for each other, our lips starving for affection. I felt like I hadn’t kissed her in fucking forever. I didn’t waver, picking her up by her ass, wrapping her legs around my waist. I walked us toward my bedroom, never breaking our intense kiss.
As soon as I laid her down on my bed, she reached her arms up above her head. Waiting for my next move.
Lowering my frame on hers, I grasped her hands, caging her in with my arms. Her heartbeat drastically accelerated, and I swear it echoed through the room.
“Te amo, cariño.”
She took in my words for a few seconds, relaxing her body underneath mine. I reached for the hem of her dress, pulling it over her head. Leaving her in just her panties that I proceeded to tear off her luscious ass. She watched with hooded eyes as I undressed and crawled over to her again, placing my body right where it belonged.
On top of hers.
I could feel her thoughts raging war in her mind. She immediately shut her eyes when she realized they were telling me everything that maybe she couldn’t.
“Open your eyes, Sophia,” I murmured so low she could barely hear me.
She swallowed hard before opening them again. Her eyes were filled with unshed tears. Seeing her like this was my undoing, I couldn’t take it anymore. I gripped the sides of her face.
“I’m so fucking sorry, baby,” I breathed out against her lips. “I can’t change what we have been through these last few months. I can’t take back everything I wish you hadn’t seen. I don’t ever want you to be scared of me. I would never hurt you. I would die before I could ever fucking hurt you.” I kissed her lips, her cheeks, the tip of her nose, and all over her face as I slowly moved my hand down her neck. “Do you understand me? You’re the only light I have left in my life. My salvation,” I urged and
she nodded, claiming my lips with hers, keeping our eyes wide open.
I rubbed along her smooth skin, trailing my fingers over her naked body. My forehead resting on hers as I slowly moved my hand back and forth, caressing her in a way I used to. How I knew she loved. Wanting to bring back the passion between us. Ignite our flame that started to burn out weeks ago.
“You’re all I ever wanted,” I exhaled as she inhaled. It was like we were breathing for one another. “There’s my girl,” I groaned, positioning myself at her opening. I started to ease in, thinking how much I missed her sweet pussy, once again claiming what was mine.
She froze, pushing me off her. “I can’t do this,” she snapped out of nowhere with a cold and detached voice, making me jerk back, stunned.
“The fuck?” was all I could manage to say.
She continued to try to push me off her. “I can’t, Alejandro. Please, I can’t do this.” She shoved me with her hands, scooting out from under me. Leaving me wondering what the hell just happened.
She grabbed her dress off the floor and threw it on, immediately rushing out of the room, getting away from me as fast as possible. Ignoring my plea for her not to go. I found my slacks and quickly slid them on, not bothering with a shirt. I rushed after her, needing to stop her from walking out on me. There was no way in hell I was going to let her leave here without telling me what the fuck was going on.
Stopping dead in my tracks, I saw her standing in the dining room. A look of horror spread across her face as she took in every last detail of the night we were supposed to have. The food was all laid out perfectly on the table, champagne still chilling in a bucket of ice, candles spread out all over the room, adding to the romantic allure.
“What the fuck was that, Sophia?”
She cringed, stepping away from me, surrendering her hands to stop me. “I can’t believe you did all this. Fuck…” She grabbed onto the back of the chair in front of her for support. Looking up at me through tear-filled eyes. “I can’t do this anymore.”