by M. Robinson
The smell of his blood immediately assaulted my senses, every last fiber of my being.
“I see so much of you in her, it’s fucking scary. And I can’t… I won’t allow her to know or see how much I love her. I’ll give her the world, Amari. She will never want for anything. But I can’t give her my love. I can’t let her into my fucking hollow heart.” I felt myself losing it as I looked into my sister’s eyes. “Mamá must be so disappointed in me. Please tell her I am so sorry, so fucking sorry. I can’t go back. I can’t change the things I’ve done. I am who I am. It’s too late, the darkness settled in. I own it now. It owns me. Please forgive me, I know I don’t deserve it, but I’m asking for it anyway.” I looked up at the sky, and she was gone. Vanishing into the thick air that surrounded me. “I love you, Amari.”
I stayed up there for I don’t know how long, repenting for my sins. Trying to find the man I once was, already knowing he died a long time ago. I took one last look at the world I created, and left. Taking the elevator back to my penthouse floor. Wanting to go straight to my office like I always did, and drown myself in work. Hoping it would mask the voices of Amari and my mother that filled my mind. Wanting to tone out the screaming.
I didn’t have to go into my office to stop my conscious from spinning out of control. The moaning coming from Daisy’s room put a halt to everything. The closer I got to her bedroom, the more profound her sounds of ecstasy echoed down the halls. I didn’t have to wonder who the fuck she was with.
Or what the fuck I was going to do to him. His fate was decided a long time ago. Now, he gave me another reason to put a fucking bullet in his head.
His first mistake was betraying me in my own home. His second error was not locking the goddamn door. Not that it would have stopped me. Wanting to use the element of surprise, I slowly pushed down the handle, slipping into the room unnoticed. He was laying on top of her, the sheet barely covering their bodies.
Rage quickly took over every last fiber of my being. It didn’t matter that I had just killed a man. I wanted to kill another.
This motherfucker.
“Ah—” I didn’t falter, interrupting Daisy from her happy fucking ending.
I sprang into action with nothing but fury coursing through me. “YOU, MOTHERFUCKER!” I roared.
Daisy screamed, jolting out of her skin as I roughly ripped Esteban away from her. Throwing his body across the room, his back hit the wall with a loud, hard thud, tearing through the drywall. I was over to him in two strides, picking him up and slamming him up against the doorframe. Hearing a hasty crack in its wake.
“YOU PIECE OF FUCKING SHIT! AFTER EVERYTHING I’VE DONE FOR YOU!” I snarled, picking him up off the ground again and punching him in the face repeatedly.
His body fell lax against my strong grip. I didn’t let up, punching him in the stomach, causing him to fall forward, crumbling to the ground in front of me. I immediately bent down, flipping him onto his back and straddling his waist, beating him to an inch of his life.
“NO!” Daisy screamed from where she knelt on the bed. She hadn’t moved, barely making a sound, the entire time I beat the fuck out of him. “PLEASE! STOP! PLEASE I’M BEGGING YOU! I’LL DO ANYTHING! ANYTHING!”
I ignored her pathetic pleas, continuing my assault on Esteban’s face and body. I hit him until my knuckles felt raw, and there was nothing left of his fucking pretty boy face. I stopped and stood over his barely conscious frame, hearing Daisy release a sigh of relief. Thinking she’d won. That she got through to me.
Not a fucking chance.
I reached into the back of my slacks, and pulled out my gun, aiming it right at Esteban’s head.
“NO!” she cried out.
Jumping off the bed, lunging right in front of him, throwing her half naked body in front of the gun. It was now placed directly on her forehead. Her body shielding what was left of Esteban’s sorry excuse of a fucking life.
“Get the fuck out of my face,” I gritted through a clenched jaw.
“No! Please! Please! Please! I’m begging you. It wasn’t his fault.” She got down on her knees, tucking the thin white sheet under her arms, setting her hands in a prayer gesture out in front of her. “I’m begging you, pleading with you on my knees to please not do this! Please, Uncle! You don’t have to do this!” she bellowed through tears.
I scoffed. “You think your pitiful performance is going to work on me? You don’t know me, peladita. Get the fuck off the floor before I make you, and trust me, you don’t want it to come to that.”
She shook her head. “No.”
I cocked my head to the side, no one had ever told me no before. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t just a little fucking proud of her at that moment, she wasn’t backing down from me.
“You look like a fucking whore on your knees. NOW, GET THE FUCK UP!”
She shook her head again. “No.”
“What? You love him? You love that piece of shit?” I pointed to Esteban’s lifeless body.
She swallowed, hard. “No, Uncle. I don’t,” she answered honestly.
The truth of her revelation causing me to jerk my head back, stunned.
“So, you are a whore,” I viscously spewed, more pissed off at myself for allowing this to happen under my goddamn nose. “Your mother would be so proud.”
She frowned not wavering. “Please. Please, don’t do this. Not for me, okay? You don’t have to do shit for me. Do it for my mom. The only sister you had. The one you loved so fucking much,” she reminded, throwing the words I spoke hours ago back at me.
My eyes glazed over, narrowing them at her. For the first time I didn’t hide the fact that the mere mention of her mother could bring me to my goddamn knees.
I slowly lowered my gun, grabbing my phone from my pocket, and walking toward the big bay window in her room, calling one of my men. “Venga a recoger a este hijo de puta antes de que yo lo mate,” I roared into the phone, “Come get this son of a bitch before I kill him.” I hung up.
Her questions of who I really was, what I was feeling, what I had gone through in my life, what happened to me that made me the way I was, were burning a hole in my back. She wanted to know what I was thinking.
If only she knew…
If only anyone knew.
I shook away the thoughts when I heard footsteps ascending down the hall. I took one look at my men, and nodded toward the piece of shit lying in my niece’s arms. Turning to face the window once again, internally battling my demons. Not being able to look at her any longer, feeling as though this changed everything.
They quickly picked him up, dragging him away from her. I heard them taking the blanket off the bed and wrapping it around him. I knew he was half-conscious when the men stood him up, probably hunched over, reeling in pain. Placing his arms around their necks for support.
If it weren’t for Daisy, they’d be dragging him out in a body bag.
Even that didn’t grant me satisfaction.
This was the last time I would see my niece as Daisy, this was when Briggs was born for me. This was when everything changed in our dynamic, our future relationship.
Our family.
She wanted to be a big girl, play with big boys, then I would give her exactly what she fucking wanted.
They carried Esteban toward the door, breaking me from my train of thought.
“You know what?” I said out of nowhere, bringing all of their attention back to me. I turned around, narrowing my dark, daunting, soulless eyes directly at Esteban. “I changed my mind,” I simply stated.
And before it registered what I just said. I lifted my gun and shot him.
“NO!” Briggs yelled out, placing her hand over her mouth.
Hearing him groan out in pain was when she realized I shot him in the leg, inches away from his goddamn cock.
“The next time you fuck with what's mine, Esteban, the bullet will go in your fucking head.”
With that, the men turned and left, leaving a trail of his b
lood on the floor.
“Briggs,” I announced, lost in my thoughts again, staring at her shred of innocence that stained the sheets on the bed.
I walked over to her, every step precise and calculated with the same vicious expression on my face. There was nothing but a hatred, spewing glare in hers. I gripped her chin harshly, forcing her to look up, making her look me dead in the eyes.
Using the same words my father said to me the night my innocence was taken.
I spoke with conviction, “You’re a Martinez now.”
And she was.
“There he is,” I nodded toward the black car pulling up alongside my strip club. “Supply him with the usual,” I added, turning to go back inside. I didn’t need to stick around, Rick was one of my trusted men, he dealt with the exchanges.
I needed to get back into my office, to make a phone call to Briggs. I was sending her to Miami for the next month, to handle some business that just came up. She had been working for me for the last two years, dealing drugs. She dropped out of school a few days after her fifteenth birthday. A birthday I choose to fucking forget. I made the decision to bring her into the family business that night, after I found her with that motherfucker, Esteban. He was lucky he was still alive, working some corporate job upstate.
At least this way I knew what Briggs was doing, and who she was doing. I could keep an eye on her, and by that I mean…
I could still control her.
At the end of the day it kept her safe, and I didn’t give a shit if it was the right thing to do or not. It was my way of making things right for her.
I never sent her on dangerous deliveries. It was mostly college parties and meetings which she only attended in my presence. Meaningless shit like that. Everyone knew she was my niece. If someone fucked with her, they fucked with me. And no one wanted to fuck with me.
“How much does he owe?” Rick asked.
“Thirteen grand.”
“You let him keep half?” he questioned, grabbing my arm to stop me. I looked from my arm to him, and he released his grip, stepping back. Once again peering in front of him.
“He pushes drugs for me at NYU. Supplying all the punk ass kids with their fix, taking Mommy and Daddy’s money. You want to do it?”
He shook his head, smiling. “I would for the pussy. I mean look at that girl, she’s a fucking knockout.”
I spun, looking in the direction of his gaze. “What the fuck?” I breathed out, watching her step out of the backseat of the piece of shit car they pulled up in.
“Don’t like them young, boss?” Rick nudged my shoulder, earning him another ‘touch me again, motherfucker,’ look.
“I don’t like being blindsided,” I gritted out through a clenched jaw, adjusting my suit jacket as I fully turned to face him. “What the fuck is she doing here?” I snapped as soon as they walked up to me.
“Oh… that’s umm… shit… Lexi, I told you to stay in the fucking car,” Luis, my dealer from NYU, shouted at her. Peering back and forth between us, nervous as shit. Anxiously rubbing the back of his neck. “It’s fine, she’s cool,” he contested, shuffling his feet in the dirt below him. Looking everywhere but in my eyes.
“Who the fuck do you think you are, bringing a little girl here?” I stepped toward him, shadowing over his scrawny frame. He stumbled back, catching himself before he fell on his ass.
“I’m not a little girl,” Lexi interrupted, stepping forward. Immediately bringing my attention to her.
She stood in front of Luis with her hip cocked and her hand leaning on it. Not backing down, a challenging glare in her eyes. She was definitely a feisty little one, her demeanor ready to strike back at anything I had to say to her.
No matter what.
“Luis, I would have never pegged you for a pussy. This girl has bigger balls than you do. You must have forgotten to warn her who the fuck she’s dealing with. Oh, wait… she shouldn’t fucking be here in the first place.”
They all stood in the middle of the parking lot, as I paced back and forth, never taking my eyes off Lexi. She shifted her weight from one hip to the other, swinging her hair over her shoulder with nothing but intrigue written all over her face. Studying my predatory stance, wanting to know what I was thinking, what I was feeling.
“I don’t like to be disrespected, Luis. And this little stunt doesn’t sit fucking well with me. Rick, what do you think we should do? A bullet to his leg? Or maybe something to this little girl over here,” I taunted, stopping in front of Lexi.
She still hadn’t taken her eyes off me. I cocked my head to the side, taking in the fact she didn’t fear me. I couldn’t remember the last time that happened.
“No, sir… Lexi, go back to the damn car. Now!” Luis ordered, roughly grabbing her arm and tugging her sideways, harder than he needed to.
“Ow! Easy, asshole,” she yelped.
I didn’t hesitate. I stepped toward them, pulling her away from his grasp, and shoving him hard in the chest. He lost his footing, stumbling to the ground. A few women standing in line waiting to get into the club gasped. Crouching down in front of his face, I grabbed him by the collar of his shirt.
Ignoring our audience, I gritted out, “Didn’t your mother ever teach you not to put your hands on a woman? Do I need to teach you some fucking manners, boy?”
He fervently shook his head no.
I scoffed in disgust, releasing him from my grasp, and pushing him back down to the ground. I stood and turned around, narrowing my eyes at Lexi. Finally getting a good look at her. Disregarding the way she was still staring at me.
Without saying a word, I placed my hands in the pockets of my slacks, gradually eyeing her five-foot-four frame up and down with a fascinated regard. She had long, dark brown hair, cascading all around her face, and legs went on for days. She wore a white tattered t-shirt, two sizes too big, knotted at her hip, exposing her stomach, and cut off jean shorts with the pockets hanging out the bottoms.
She was young.
A child.
A goddamn little girl.
She. Was. Trouble.
I took her in, inch by inch, until I knew I got the effect I wanted out of her. It was easy for me to intimidate people, and she wasn’t any fucking different. Except there was a sudden flush in her cheeks was subtle enough to where no one would notice, other than me.
I noticed everything.
Especially her.
I made her nervous, but not because she was scared of me as I intended…
Even at that young of age, this girl knew what she wanted.
Me.
The attraction was coming off her in waves. Her mind reeling with mixed emotions, thinking I could be her savior, or her possible demise. All little girls wanted a Prince Charming. A knight in shining fucking armor.
Little did she know, I was the villain in this story.
We locked eyes, and for a split second, I saw something familiar in her bright green stare. Something I had always seen in mine, only now, it was being reflected back at me.
Solitude.
A raw, agonizing burn in her gaze. A pain no one else could understand, or even recognize, unless they’ve lived through it themselves. An unspoken connection brought on by darkness.
Hell.
A group of rowdy customers exited the club, interrupting the moment we were having. She shook off the sentiment, clearing her throat. I made her uncomfortable because she knew I could see and feel it too.
She knew I could see and feel everything.
“Take a picture, old man, it will last you longer,” she spewed, wanting to break the effect I was having on her.
I smiled, arching an eyebrow. “There’s no need for name calling, little girl. Rick isn’t that fucking old,” I chuckled, pointing over to him.
She wanted to smile, but she hid it by looking over toward the busy street instead. Not wanting me to see any more than I already had. She was trying to take control of the situation we found ourselves in. Her vulnerability
radiated off of her, making her feel weak and out of control. As much as she hated it, she loved it even more.
I realized right then, this girl needed to stay the fuck away from me, and she didn’t strike me as anyone who followed fucking directions.
I glared at Luis who was brushing himself off. “Don’t bring the little girl with you again. I won’t warn you next time.”
“If you have something to say, say it to me. I’m standing right here. For your information, he didn’t bring me. I came with him, and if I want to come with him again, I will. You can’t tell me what to do just because you’re old enough to be my father, old man.”
Not faltering, I turned my attention back to her. Stepping right into her personal space, my six-foot-four muscular build looming over her petite frame. She didn’t cower, if anything she stood taller. I cocked my head to the side, reaching for a piece of her hair, twirling it around my finger.
“Old man, eh? Your lips are saying one thing but your body… your body is betraying you, little girl. It doesn’t think I’m old. It likes me just fine…” Just to prove my point, I brushed my knuckles along her cheek, enjoying the soft feel of her skin.
Her breathing hitched and her eyes dilated.
“My body and my actions are none of your business and stop calling me a little girl,” she replied in a sultry voice.
“You became my business as soon as you stepped foot on my property, and you being here has fucked with that. You’re a child. Can’t be older than what? Fifteen?”
She grimaced, embarrassed. Looking around the parking lot, avoiding me at all costs.
“I can smell it on you. You want me. Is this turning you on, little girl?” I scoffed, taking my hand away from her face.
The loss of my touch clearly affecting her.
“You look me in the eyes when I’m talking to you.” I grabbed her chin, bringing her gaze back to mine.
Her eyes widened and her lips parted as I gripped her chin harder. “This is an adult establishment, the best one in New York City. Women take their clothes off for money, a lot of it. You want to come back? I suggest you come for an audition when you grow a pair of tits and an ass. Until then, you’re no use to me. Now be a good little girl, turn around, and go sit your ass in the fucking car. If you don’t listen, I won’t hesitate to take you over my knee and teach you some goddamn respect like your father should have.”