As if sensing the same thing, Deacon keeps his distance. I'm relieved to note that he looks completely fine, not a single mark on him. This helps ease some of the anxiety of being separated from my team – a group of people I've spent every single day with over the past several months.
"The Warlord says you have something to say to me," Deacon says, his voice hard with dislike.
I glance at Wolfe, but he remains silent. I realize he’s brought Deacon here so I can convince him to take the team and leave. I'll have to choose my words carefully, so I don't accidentally risk the other man's life.
"Wolfe has informed me that you’ll be leaving the city without me." I try to keep the bitterness from my voice so as not to antagonize the big Warlord listening to every word.
Deacon nods. "He's told me the same. We have your back though, we're not leaving without you."
I give him a half smile and shake my head. "I knew you would say that, and I really appreciate it. It's good to know that my team doesn’t want to leave without me."
"We won't have it any other way," he says, narrowing his eyes in Wolfe’s direction before continuing. "We need our leader if we're going to continue this mission."
Though it pains me to say it, I give him the words I know he needs to hear to move on without me. "No, you don't. You never really needed me. You're the strength behind the team, the protector."
"But your blood – ”
I cut him off before he can continue. "You have my blood. You have everything you need to continue. If anything, I've been more of a hindrance to you. Now, you can move easier, go to the next Sanctuary. Spread the vaccine as far as you can."
"You know that's not true!" Deacon explodes, taking another step toward me. He ignores Wolfe who shadows him, prepared to intervene if Deacon gets too close. "You are our leader. You hold us together. You convince us to keep moving every time we lose someone, every time we’re attacked. We can't do this without you."
Tears rush to my eyes and I look down at the floor. I'm going to have to change tactics or I'm never going to convince Deacon to leave, and I know that Wolfe is deadly serious when he says he'll take them out if he has to.
"Well that's too bad." I keep my eyes on the floor and try to harden my voice, to keep the ache from it. "Because I'm not going with you." I raise my eyes to his, trying to convince him in a single cool look that I'm serious. "Wolfe has offered me the position of wife to the Warlord. This position will come with the kind of privileges that I was used to having before the fall of my Sanctuary. I want them back. I don't want to travel anymore. I'm done pretending that I'm some kind of warrior woman. This is where I want to be."
At first, Deacon looks taken aback, like I just slapped him in the face. He searches my face as though looking for answers, but not finding what he's looking for. Finally, he shakes his head.
"I don't believe this."
"I'm sorry. You're going to have to leave without me." I can barely raise my voice above a whisper. Pain is blossoming in my chest, stealing my breath and my words. It's strange; I knew leaving the team would be emotional, but it feels like leaving my family behind.
I'm always leaving my family behind.
Deacon shakes his head again. "No, what I'm saying is, I don't believe you. I think you're saying what you think you need to say to get rid of us. And I think you're doing it because of him." He turns to stare at Wolfe with hatred.
Wolfe's hand drops to the dagger on his belt, a clear warning that Deacon should back down. Of course, my second-in-command does not back down. He’s as bad as Wolfe when it comes to arrogant pride.
"You got a problem with us you take it up with me,” Deacon says belligerently. “Leave Skye alone."
Even I can see the problem in Deacon's words. He has no one and nothing to back him up. There are eight people left on the vaccine team, not nearly enough to take on the security forces within this Sanctuary. As this is an obvious point, Wolfe doesn't bother to answer him.
"He's not going to let me go." I don't know what else to say. I pace away from him, my feet tapping against the stone floor in frustration. Finally, I turn back to them. I tried a lie, now I’ll try the truth. "If you don't leave, he'll kill you."
Deacon opens his mouth to speak, probably to tell me that he doesn't care. I interrupt him, "He won't just kill you; he'll take out the whole team if he thinks they're a threat. You need to take him seriously. Wolfe always follows through on his threats."
Hands on his hips, Deacon stares at the floor, his mind working as he tries to decide what to do. Finally, he nods. "Fine, we’ll leave. We’ll continue the mission." He lifts his head and pins me with a look. "We won't forget you. We'll be back."
I give him a tremulous half smile. "Be sure that you do. I'll be expecting you."
"Good enough," Deacon says and turns back to the door, ready to leave. There's no point in prolonging an already painful conversation.
Wolfe opens the door and instructs his people to take Deacon back to his room. I realize that he and the rest of the team must be on one of the guest floors several levels below mine. At least they're being kept in comfort, and not a prison.
The door closes on Deacon and I realize this will probably be the last time I see him for months, if not years. I swipe at my eyes and glare at Wolfe.
"Are you happy now?" I snap childishly.
"That was for you." His simple words anger me, and I want to lash out.
"Yeah, if it were up to you, they'd be dead."
Wolfe holds my gaze, letting me see everything I need to see. Even though my words were spoken sarcastically, they are the truth. Wolfe would have taken out my entire team because it would be more convenient to him. He's allowing them to live because I want them to live.
"Please leave." My words are an echo of the words I spoke to him earlier.
Wolfe straightens and bows his head, as if bowing to my plea. We both know that’s not true. He leaves when he wants to leave, and he stays when he wants to stay. I have no control over his desires.
He crosses the room and pauses in the doorway, pinning me with his stare. “Eventually, you will ask me to stay." Then he leaves.
Fourteen
I’m left to my own devices for the next several hours, which is a good thing. I need to process what Wolfe said to me. He’s so damn cryptic all the time, he should probably cart around an interpreter just so people understand what he’s saying.
I think he was trying to say that he expects me to enjoy his company one day. But that can’t be right. It would be like enjoying the companionship of a rabid dog. Wolfe never does what I expect him to do. He’s unpredictable, violent, cranky and rude. Who would want to actually spend time with him?
I quickly stomp down on the voice in my head jumping up and down and screaming, I do, I do, I do.
“I don’t!” I snap out loud as I pace the common room.
I'm still thinking about Wolfe and our strange relationship when Hannah enters the harem with another woman. I turn to look at them, my gaze roving over the woman trailing behind Hannah.
They approach and Hannah introduces the stranger. "This is Dr. Sheela Summers."
I looked her up and down in surprise. "Doctor of what?"
Sheela Summers is an attractive blond woman with a regal bearing. Her shoulders are straight and she has a slight tilt to her chin. Her blue eyes have an openness to them that puts a person immediately at ease. She’s probably in her mid thirties.
The doctor laughs and holds out her hand. "Medical doctor," she clarifies.
I look at her hand then take it with hesitation. She's young, looks healthy, perfectly capable of bearing children. Women her age don't become doctors. Though there were definitely female doctors at the beginning of the century, many of them have died and few are allowed to carry on the tradition. According to most Warlords, population survival is far more important than career choices for women.
"How are you allowed to be a doctor?" I ask boldly. I'm curious and
there's no point beating around the bush.
She looks at me seriously. "I was part of an underground organization of women on the east coast. We called ourselves the Apocalypse Posse. We created laws of our own, a society of our own. We worked for and with people who became even more marginalized by the Great Fall than they were before. Many of us women had jobs beyond babies." There's a slight curl to her lip indicating her distaste at the idea of becoming a childbearing machine. My respect for her rises.
"I've never heard of an organization like that. It must've been difficult to sustain. Didn't your Warlord come after you?"
She nods and waves her hand toward one of the couches, indicating I should sit down with her. I think about refusing, since I don’t like the idea of a complete stranger telling me what to do, but I'm curious about this woman. I want to know more, and if knowing more means following her directions, then I'm game. For a little while.
I sink onto the couch, and when she reaches for my wrist, I let her take it. She lightly lifts my arm and places it across her knees. Then she reaches into her bag and pulls out several glass tubes. I sigh deeply. Getting my blood drawn is not my favourite pastime, but it's something that has become more and more common over the past several months as I moved from Sanctuary to Sanctuary. She ties an elastic tightly around my bicep.
"Yes, when he found out about us, he did his best to dismantle the Apocalypse Posse. He would send out soldiers to round us up. But we had a solid base of loyal followers who benefited from our expertise and who would hide us when the soldiers came. We did a good job of staying underground, of hiding in plain sight. I practiced medicine out of a seamstress’s shop, using her back rooms. My clients were mostly other women, but sometimes I would see men and children who were too poor to see the official Sanctuary medical staff."
It never made sense to me that women ended up becoming so oppressed after the Great Fall. Even once male warriors decided that women needed to start producing more babies, why were women’s talents not utilized in other ways? Why take away any aspirations toward a career? The nearest I can come to an answer is that in order to force women into a child-bearing situation, they needed to be thoroughly subjugated. Stripped of everything that could elevate them to higher thinking where they might become disgruntled and try to buck the proposed system.
"What Sanctuary are you from?" It sounds like paradise. Maybe if I can somehow escape Wolfe, I can go there.
She gives me a tight smile and her expression becomes more closed off. This is definitely a topic she doesn't want to talk about, but she answers anyway. "I'm originally from the Detroit Sanctuary, but when that fell, I moved to the New York Sanctuary. Turned out to be a bad mistake when the Primitives took out a powerplant and drove us out of the city. Unfortunately, there are only a few ways out of New York, and they were waiting for us."
I can only imagine the horror of her experience. Primitives have no mercy. They are hardwired without feelings. If the New York survivors had the vaccine, then things might've been different. The Primitives still would have attacked, still would've killed many people, but they wouldn't have been able to turn anyone.
"You escaped?" I prod her as she swabs my skin, then pushes a needle into my vein.
She nods. "Me and several others managed to get our hands on a boat. Though the Primitives were all along the shoreline, none of them could reach us."
Primitives can't swim. Long ago, after the Great Fall, some people were able to survive the Primitive attacks by going out to sea. It hadn't been easy living, according to the descendants, but it did save many families.
"Eventually we were able to find a place to land the boat. Then we followed other refugees out west, going from city to city until we found one that was capable of offering Sanctuary."
She injects a tube into the needle and I watch with disinterest as it fills with my rich red blood. I'm far more interested in the conversation Dr. Summers is providing.
"There are others?" I ask excitedly. "Are they here?"
Her face softens and she gives me a genuine smile. "Yes, there are more from our group of underground women. They're eager to meet you, if you're interested. They love the idea of a woman becoming a warrior and travelling the outlands to distribute a vaccination. You’ve become a legend around here, the hope for our survival."
I laugh out loud, unable to help myself. "I'm nobody," I say with scorn. "I'm just the lady with the lucky blood."
She doesn't laugh but gives me a serious look. "No true leader wants the position. Any who do are usually power greedy. People who reluctantly end up in positions of power are the ones who feel the weight of responsibility. I would far rather have a leader who despises the position, than one who covets it."
I immediately think of my brother-in-law, Diogo Fuentes, Warlord of the Tucson Sanctuary. According to my sister Taran, the responsibility of the most prominent Sanctuary in what used to be America weighs heavily on him. There are times that he wishes he wasn’t the leader, but knows his Sanctuary thrives because of him and because of my sister. They're both effective but reluctant leaders.
Uncomfortable with the direction of the conversation, I change the subject back to the doctor's group of underground women. "What do the other women do for work?"
She replaces the vial in my arm and fills another. "Anita is our resident engineer. She can look at an engine and know how to make it work, like magic. Dolly is our tech wizard. If you have any old technology, broken or otherwise, she'll make it work. Tabitha is an agriculturist. When we lived in New York she was responsible for creating vast gardens in our underground network. We shared with everyone in our group and those in need. Christine is Tabitha's wife. Obviously, they had to take their relationship underground so that neither was forced to marry someone else and produce his babies. Christine is a really fabulous cook, has a big heart and loves being around children. In New York, she worked as a teacher."
My heart aches as I listen to the doctor talk. She's talking about an impossible dream world. A place where there are fewer rules and restrictions. To even be able to survive in an underground capacity this group of women must've been fierce. I long to be part of them.
"Thank you for telling me all this," I murmur, my thoughts still filled with the images provided. Then another thought occurs to me. "But you’re the doctor here in Santa Fe Sanctuary. You must practice out in the open, or you wouldn’t be meeting with me. You’re not underground anymore?"
Hannah answers for the doctor and I turn my attention to the other woman.
"In one word, Wolfe,” Hannah says, watching my face carefully. "At first the women remained hidden, fearful that they would be separated and forced to marry members of the city security force, but Anita stepped in to show us her skill when the west wall fell after repeated attacks. She risked herself in order to save an entire city. She helped plan the new wall and actually helped build it with her own hands, alongside our men. When Wolfe found out about Anita and the others, he had them gathered up and brought to him. We expected him to marry them off to his eligible soldiers, but instead he demanded a full explanation and then allowed them to leave peacefully. He utilizes their skills when he needs them. Which is how you’re having this conversation with Dr. Summers."
"He didn't force any of them to marry?" I ask incredulously. Even under Silas, a Warlord who ruled with unusual compassion, women were still forced to marry, whether they liked it or not.
Hannah shrugs. "We were all surprised. Since coming back to the city and taking over, he's made many improvements and worked diligently toward a harmonious city."
I nearly laugh out loud at the pairing of Wolfe’s name with the word harmonious. Hannah's words don't jive with what I know of Wolfe. He's a soldier. A Warlord. No part of him is soft or understanding. But he is smart, and I have an inkling that he's decided these women can be far more useful in a professional capacity.
"I wish I had a skill that he coveted more than marriage," I say bitterly, thinking back
to our conversation earlier.
The doctor squeezes my arm comfortingly and gently removes the needle. She presses a small piece of gauze against the pinprick of blood that wells up.
"You’re set to marry the Warlord." It's not a question, which means both women must know already.
Hannah speaks up. "If it makes you feel better, I don't think it would matter what kind of profession you were skilled in, he would make you his wife anyway. It's about you, not what you bring to the table."
Hannah's words sound wistful and I frown at her. "If you want the job, please take it. I have no desire to marry him and the first opportunity I have to get out of here, I'm leaving."
"He doesn't want me, he wants you." Hannah turns away abruptly, mumbling, “The favourite… always the favourite."
Then she shakes her head as though to dispel the bitterness that takes everyone in the room by surprise. Hannah is usually a gentle and loving creature with no bad thing to say about anyone.
She continues, her moment of annoyance over, "That man has been obsessed with you from the moment he laid eyes on you when the Outsider Talon brought you in and presented you to Silas. Wolfe has waited years for this moment. There's no chance he's letting you go this time."
I stare back at Hannah, our eyes clashing. There's something different about her, less forgiving, harder. The past year has had a significant effect on her.
"It doesn't matter." I shake my head. "I won't marry him."
Hannah laughs. "As if that ever stopped a Warlord. As if it will stop Wolfe.”
We fall silent. Hannah's words ring true in a way we’ve all experienced. Warlords rule over everything: land, resources and people, particularly women. The doctor finishes up and she and Hannah leave together. Once more I'm alone in the harem, contemplating a future that I want nothing to do with.
Fifteen
Wolfe
Exhaustion hits me as I make my way to the harem, to Skye. She’s been in my city for four days now. Enough time to calm down. Enough time to contemplate her new reality and reconcile herself to the inevitable.
The Road to Wolfe (The Sanctuary Series Book 4) Page 7