by J. L. Beck
I loved my mother once—before I knew love was nothing more than a weakness. And all she did was turn her head, letting my father abuse my brother and I. She said she loved us. How could she not? Isn’t a mother supposed to love their children by default? No matter what? If that’s so, then love doesn't mean anything—or so I thought.
The scars I bare are almost unnoticeable to the naked eye, but they’re a stark reminder that no one protects you from the monsters in the dark but you. No one cares for you—even if you are weak and can’t care for yourself.
As I peer over at Keira in the passenger seat of my Cadillac, I’m confronted, for the first time in my life, with the idea of loving someone other than myself.
In the past, I had no one to protect me when I couldn't protect myself, but I won’t let Keira suffer the same fate. I know she can’t fight this alone. A battle against my brother is a losing one if she faces him alone. So I promise myself I won’t let her down. I will do everything in my power to protect her. I’ll give her the protection my mother failed to provide me.
When I pull into the parking lot of her old apartment complex, I see Keira’s tiny body tremble.
Doesn’t she know she doesn’t have to be scared with me by her side?
“We’re just going inside to get some of your shit, and we’ll be back out to the car in a flash.” I give her a calming smile, but she doesn’t return one—in fact, she seems to clam up more.
“Is his body still here?” she whispers as I park and kill the engine.
“No. We disposed of it.” My words are harsh, but not untrue. Typically, those who die in this business don’t get a funeral. Leo was no exception.
“Like a bag of garbage? You just tossed him out.” Keira shifts in her seat to face me.
I can’t lie to her—nor would I even if she asked me to. I want her. I want us. And one way or another, she will have to get used to this dark and twisted life.
“Yes, Keira. In this line of work, you don’t get a funeral. They draw too much attention. But don’t feel bad or blame yourself. He knew what he was doing when he signed on for jobs. He knew what his fate looked like.”
Keira’s big brown eyes fill with tears. “I miss him, and I’m scared that when I walk back in there, all the memories will come back to me.”
Her honesty shatters me. She looks like a fragile little doll—fragile enough to break, and I don’t want her broken. I want her whole.
So, I comfort her in the only way I know how—with my touch. Cupping her cheek gently, I bring her face to mine, forcing her to move over the center console.
“You have nothing to fear. You have the devil on your side, and I’m willing to burn down the entire fucking town to keep you safe.” My lips press against hers briefly, and when I feel her tongue probe my lips in an attempt to deepen the kiss, I pull away—even if it’s the last thing I want to do. But as I told her yesterday, I can’t always be the guy she wants me to be. Right now is one of those times. A tearful smile pulls at her lips, and she blinks some of them away.
“Let’s get this done and over with, baby. I’ve got shit to do today.”
We make it into the building and up to her floor before her movements start to slow. I hold her hand and tug her along, stopping once we reach the front door. I grip the handle, twisting the knob. That’s strange. I remember telling Toni to lock up the place before he left. I open the door slowly, keeping Keira shielded from anyone who may already be inside the apartment.
“Wait here,” I whisper, releasing her hand and crossing the threshold.
The place reeks of death, and my eyes spot the dark red splotch on the floor where she most likely found her brother. There are smatterings of blood on the walls and couch, and as I move deeper into the apartment, I can see it’s been ransacked.
Fuck, Leo, what did you do to make my brother come after you? And now after your sister? I shake my head and twist on my heel, beckoning Keira forward. She’s still standing in the doorway, looking every bit as afraid as she probably feels. There aren’t any signs of forced entry, and the place looks...well, burglarized—but I’d expect nothing less from my brother.
“Come,” I order, seeing the apprehension in her eyes. She doesn’t want to, but does, her feet moving hastily over the carpet. I let her guide me into her bedroom, and I almost smile. So this is where my sweet little dove would hide from the world?
She goes straight to the closet, pulls out a suitcase, and starts shoving shit in it from the dresser. I don’t think she even knows what she’s taking. She’s just grabbing whatever she can find. The suitcase is almost packed to the brim, and she has trouble closing it without my help. I secretly love watching her struggle, because she’s cute as hell when she’s flustered, but now it’s nothing more than a waste of time. I’m about to give her a hand when I hear it.
The low creak of a door being opened somewhere else in the apartment.
Keira freezes beside me. I bring a finger to my lips, signaling for her to keep her mouth shut. She nods, and I reach around to grab my gun.
Slowly, and with the silence of a puma on the hunt, I make my way to the front of the apartment. As soon as I cross into the hallway, I see him.
Either he’s stupid, or he didn’t see me coming. The idiot stands in the middle of the room like he has no idea what the fuck is going on. His back is turned, and I use that advantage to come up behind him and hit him with the butt of my gun.
His body hits the floor with a loud thump, and I kick him in the side just for safe measure. He doesn’t move. Thankfully. I don’t really have the patience to deal with more shit today, but I can’t pass up an interrogation session.
I eye the fucker. He looks like one of my brother’s men. Dressed in a black suit, looking more like a secret agent than a fucking member of the Rossi crime family. My brother must think he’s real sneaky sending people here to grab her. Like he doesn’t already know what will happen if he tries to take her from me.
“Who is he?” Keira appears in the hallway, her suitcase behind her. I gaze down at her. She looks so small, so fragile. I must remind myself to be kind to her and treat her as mine.
“A soon to be dead man.” I pull my phone from my pocket and dial Toni’s number.
After two rings, he answers, “Boss?”
“I need some men sent out to Keira’s place. I’ve got a live body, and I need it moved to the basement.”
Keira’s eyes go wide. She doesn’t understand anything I’ve said, but she will when she sees what’s going to happen.
“All right. I’ll send some men out now.”
On Toni’s confirmation, I hang up and pocket my phone. I have half a mind to kill this bastard now, but if I do, I miss the precious opportunity to get information from him.
“Are you going to kill him?”
I shrug. “Eventually, but right now, I’m going to use him to the best of my advantage. The guy he works for is after you.”
I watch as she stands in the hall nervous, her eyes refusing to look at anything but the two feet in front of her. Being here scares her, and I wish it didn't. I wish the world was a better place and she never ended up in this situation. But the world is hateful, cruel, and will kick you when you’re down. And some of the scariest monsters hide in plain sight.
***
My fist connects with his jaw again, making his head swing to the side. Blood pours from his nose and mouth. My knuckles start to swell and turn blue. The pain is an absent thought—I could do this all night, but beating the shit out of him with my fists isn't going to get me the answers I want.
I decide to switch to a knife to get this show on the road. As soon as I unsheathe the blade the bastard’s eyes go wide.
“Are you ready to tell me why my brother sent you? Or maybe what the fuck he wants with Keira?” I loom over him, sliding the blade across the fucker’s bare chest. He has a Rossi Crime tattoo on his chest, and I consider skinning him and sending the fucking thing to my brother.
&
nbsp; “I’m a dead man anyway, but you know that already—so why would I tell you anything?” He can barely talk. Blood is filling his mouth from a cut inside his cheek, and he keeps spitting the red out. It flies everywhere, and it’s fucking annoying the shit out of me.
“You are right about that, but if you do tell me what I want to know I’ll kill you much quicker and with much less pain. Maybe if you tell me now, I won’t come after the people you love next.” The asshole starts laughing, actually fucking laughing, and I wonder if this guy has balls of steel.
“You know better than anyone that guys like us don’t get to love anybody. No family. No kids. No wives. You can try to kill ‘em but they don’t exist.”
I know we shouldn’t have attachments.
I walk over to the table and select a new knife, a deadlier one. I run my thumb over the sharp edge. The blade cuts into my skin, causing the blood to swell over the insignificant cut.
Sharp enough to cut through bone...I hope. I rub at my jaw, staring down at the idiot like he’s a science project instead of a human.
“Alright then, let’s see if you change your mind after I carve some holes in your legs.” With complete precision, I take the knife and start cutting slowly into his upper thigh. I take my time slicing through skin as if I’m field dressing an animal. The fucker starts screaming right away. Music to my fucking ears.
I would be a lying bastard if I said his screams didn't bring me immense pleasure. Having this kind of control and power makes me feel invincible—like a fucking king. I toss the chunk of flesh to the floor like it's a piece of garbage. Blood is everywhere—on my hands, dripping on the floor.
I’m about to slice a second piece of flesh out when the door opens.
I look up from the task at hand, ready to yell at the unlucky bastard who walked in at the wrong time when I realize it isn't one of my men—but my woman. Beautiful, vibrant brown eyes stare back at me, and for a moment, they make me stop and forget where I am and what I’m doing.
“I told you to wait upstairs,” I snarl.
I don’t like her seeing this side of me—the darker, unhinged side. I want to be a good man and hide and shield all the bad in the world from her.
“I don’t want you to kill him.” Her voice is small and pleading, and that makes me furious.
Doesn't she understand how this works?
“You do realize he would have killed you in a heartbeat. Actually, he would have probably raped you first, then killed you.”
I watch her recoil at my words, and I almost wish I wouldn't have said them, but she needs to hear this. Needs to understand what kind of people are after her. They're not like me. They will not offer her a chance. They'll just take. Which is why I'm here now, protecting her, making certain she’s okay.
“Why don’t you stay and watch?”
Her eyes go wide, but she doesn't make a move to leave. Her body trembles, and I fear how she'll look at me after this moment.
Shoving the insecure thoughts away, I turn my attention back to the asshole in front of me. “Last chance to speak.”
“Fuck you,” he gurgles.
I’m shocked the man hasn't bled out yet. Must be his lucky day.
“Nice choice of final words.” I grab him by the head and pull it back, exposing his throat. I hold the knife to the skin under his ear and drag it across to the other side. The knife easily slides through the flesh.
If he wasn't bleeding out before—he is now. Blood pours from the wound like a small waterfall over his chest and into his lap. There's a copper tinge to the air, and I can taste blood on my tongue.
My gaze flashes to Kiera standing in the doorway, looking like she grew roots and became one with the floor. I place the knife back on the table and take a step toward her. All the blood drains from her face, making her look as pale as a ghost. I'm not doing this to scare her, but to show her how ruthless this world can be—and maybe so she can see the real monster I am.
“This is how my world works, Keira. It has been like this since before I was born, and it’s never going to change. It’s kill or be killed.”
Shock and fear reflect back at me in her eyes, giving away just how terrified she is. I want to comfort her, but my hand and clothes still have this fucker’s blood on them.
I can’t touch her like this. I don’t think she would want me to touch her either. I take another step toward her, and she takes a step back. Then she stares at me for a long moment before turning and running back the way she came.
Emotions swirl out of control inside me. Maybe giving her some time to digest this would be the best plan of action—because as badly as I want to go to comfort her, I know she needs to see this for what it is.
A world where you kill or be killed.
Chapter Eleven
Keira
Witnessing Damon as the cruel criminal he’s always claimed to be is terrifying. I knew he killed people, but there’s nothing like actually seeing it occur right in front of you. I walk up the stairs two at a time and right past two of his men standing guard at the top.
They don’t pay me any attention, and I don’t pay them any. I’m confused. My stomach twists into knots. The same hands that bring me pleasure, also deliver death.
I need to stop thinking about that man in the basement, imagining him dead. I start walking around the club carelessly. I don’t want to be here right now, but I told Damon I wouldn’t leave again, and I wasn’t going to break that promise—no matter what he had done.
Instead of breaking down crying or running away, I head back to Damon’s office. The hall is quiet, quieter than usual. I’m almost to the door, my fingers grasping for the knob, but that’s as far as I get.
In an instant, someone grabs me from behind, flipping me around and slamming me into the nearest wall. My vision blurs. The air in my lungs expels. Fear overtakes me.
Before a scream can rip from my throat, a hand is wrapping around it, squeezing so hard, blackness overtakes my vision.
Eyes so dark and cold they make me shiver stare me down. I’ve never seen this man’s face before, but he looks oddly familiar.
“Sweet, Kiera, I’ve been looking for you.”
He smells dangerous, and his body takes up all the space in the hall. He holds me with little effort, and I don’t even make an attempt to escape. There would be no point. He could easily snap my neck.
“Didn’t you get my message? I told you I was coming for you. You should have just waited for me at your place.” There’s a hint of humor to his words. A sinister smile pulls at his lips, revealing perfectly straight white teeth. Of course, the lion about to devour me has perfect teeth.
He leans closer, his nose skimming over my throbbing pulse. “I hope my brother has taken good care of you for me.”
Brother?
He must see the confusion and shock in my eyes. He pulls back a little and releases his grip on my throat. I suck in a greedy breath.
“Damon didn’t tell you, did he? That you belong to his big brother.”
The man before me picks up a piece of hair off my shoulder. His eyes inspect it like it’s the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen.
“You know the only reason he wants you is because I own you. He always wants things that don’t belong to him. He’s been that way since we were kids.”
I know I need to try and remain calm, to use my voice, to make myself heard.
“No one owns me, not you, and definitely not Damon.” The man smirks at me, and in his eyes, I see pain and death.
“Is that so?” His words tickle my ear, and before I know it, I’m being dragged through the back door. I’m just about to ask a question when the door to an SUV opens and the man holding my arm pushes me inside. “Let’s go for a ride, Keira. I have a couple questions to ask you about your brother.”
I gulp as his big body climbs in behind me. I move across the bench seat, going to the other side of the car, huddling near the door.
When the door to the SUV cl
oses, trapping me inside with this nameless man, I panic. My body starts to shake, and black dots appear over my vision.
“Relax. I’m not going to kill you.” He smiles, then adds, “Yet.”
“I don’t have anything, and I know nothing. I swear.” Tears sting my eyes. A part of me feels like life would be easier if I died. All I’m doing now is running from one monster to another.
When the SUV starts moving, I sink my fingers into the leather seat, wishing I could go back in time.
“I’m sorry for not introducing myself sooner. I’m Xander Rossi.”
I blink, my eyes lifting to his. Now I understand why his face looked so familiar. He’s an older looking version of Damon. Everything he said now makes sense.
“You’re Damon’s brother,” I whisper.
He chuckles. “I see you’ve finally put the pieces together.” The man before me screams danger and oozes power. It’s a scary combination.
“You’re the one after me, so what do you want?” I already know the answer.
He stares at me a moment. There is no warmth in his brown eyes, no emotions, nothing.
“That. I. Am. I have some questions for you, and as long as you answer them to the best of your knowledge, nothing ill will happen to you. But lie to me, Keira…” His hand lifts and comes to rest against my knee. He gently squeezes it, a warning, proving the hold he has over me.
I shiver. Fear like I’ve never felt spirals out of control inside me. “Please don’t,” I whimper.
“I won’t hurt you...not unless I have to. You’re more valuable alive than dead, but that doesn’t mean I won’t hurt you if you lie to me.”
I nod. All I need to do is answer his questions, and then I can walk away.
“What...? What do you want to know?” I stumble, feeling small and insignificant in his presence.
“Well, first…” He releases his hold on my knee and casually leans back, “were you aware your brother was stealing money from me?”
I shake my head. I get the feeling I’m not going to like the things I discover about my brother today.
“Use words,” Xander demands.