by J. L. Beck
Damon doesn’t elaborate, but he looks less than happy. And although I don’t want to pry, I am dying to know more about his family. Partly out of curiosity, and partly out of fear. For some reason, I feel like knowing more about him may make this less scary.
At least if I know what I’m walking into I can prepare myself.
Forcing another bite of food into my mouth, I decide to ask him some questions.
“What happened to your parents?”
Damon’s mood darkens, and I regret asking him. Maybe bringing up this conversation right after his asshole brother contacted him isn’t such a good idea.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked. You don’t have to tell me anything if you don’t want to.” I swallow the food in my mouth even though I feel like vomiting.
“My father wasn’t what you would call a father. Every choice he made was for himself and his businesses. He was selfish, and he scared my brother and I in the worst ways. He did things to us no man should ever do to a child—let alone his own sons. We needed someone to protect us, but my mother turned a blind eye, as if she didn’t see the fucking things he was doing.
“My mother died when we were ten, and that’s when things took a dark turn.” The most sinful smile I’ve ever seen appears on his lips, and it makes me shiver with actual fear.
“Thankfully, the fucker is dead now. A bullet to the heart will do that, though. In the end, he got what he deserved. The scars he left on my brother and I might not be visible to the naked eye, but that’s because they’re more than skin deep.”
When I get the courage to look at him again, I see a sadness in his eyes, and I understand what he’s saying. His father did this to him, trained him, taught him to be this man, and it’s not something he can change—or give up. He didn’t have a choice, and I’m sure he hates that.
“And your brother? Xander? What happened to him?” I hate to ask more questions, to dig deeper, but I want Damon to tell me everything. I want to know him inside and out, even if that includes learning about his sick, twisted brother.
“He took the brunt of the pain. He took the beatings, the jobs. He became father’s right hand, and because of that I’ll never be able to repay him. He protected me when mother wouldn’t and when our father wanted to kill me.”
I gasp, but Damon continues as if he didn’t hear me. “But that doesn’t mean I like him the way he is. I care for my brother. I care about him because he is my brother…my blood. But blood doesn’t always mean family, and I hate knowing my brother is a crueler monster than our father ever was. I hate that he let our father control him, train, and groom him to be the leader of our family, and that even after our father died, Xander could have changed—he could have become better, made the family better—but he ended up becoming just like him…worse even.”
I lift a hand to my throat, knowing the bruises are still there. Damon would never do that to me. He’d grab me, stop me from going somewhere, pin me down, but he’d never rip the air from my lungs. He’d never look at me with a hunger to kill.
Not the way Xander stared at me when he pinned me against the wall.
Damon clears his throat, breaking my train of thought. “He will pay for touching you, Keira. He knows you’re mine, and he touched you simply because he knew it would hurt me.”
“He looked at me with a desire to kill.”
“And he would’ve killed you. I know, because he is my brother. I know what makes him tick. I know what sets him off. But he didn’t because he has other plans for us. I’m not stupid. He wouldn’t call a meeting like this after years of being absent from my life without having some type of plan, and he doesn't let anyone live unless they serve his purpose.”
The thought terrifies me. Does that mean he’ll kill Damon and I outright? I don’t want to die yet, not when I’ve just finally started to enjoy life again. I’ve lost so much already—my parents, my brother. But Damon has too. He lost both his parents and technically his brother.
“Did he kill your father?” The question is on the tip of my tongue. I feel I know the answer, but I want Damon to confirm it.
“Yes. Not that the bastard didn’t deserve it. It changed him, though. It made him evil.” Damon sighs, and I can see the conversation is bothering him. I don’t want to ruin our morning further.
Desperate to change the subject, I try to think of something else to ask. “Does it matter what I wear tonight? Is it the kind of dinner party you dress up for? Because if I’m expected to wear anything besides jeans and a T-shirt, we’re going to have a problem.” I force a smile, trying to lighten the mood.
Damon doesn’t skip a beat. “I’ll have Candy pick you up something, and you can dress at the club. I have to swing by there before dinner anyway. It’ll work out perfectly.”
The thought of Candy picking clothes out for me sounds scarier than going to dinner with his family. My face must reflect what I’m thinking.
“Don’t worry, I’ll tell her to keep the dress PG-13. Though I’d love to see you in something that shows off your body. But I don’t want anyone in my family, especially my brother, to see what’s mine.”
My body tingles, and I have half a mind to go kiss the hell out of him, but I can see he’s still facing his demons and I don’t want to push him over the edge…not yet. Instead, I remain seated, feeling protected and cherished, hoping like hell we can make it through tonight and come out together on the same side.
Chapter Fourteen
Damon
When we arrive at Night Shift, the place is empty minus Candy and a few of my right-hand men. I’m a bundle of nerves—even though I have no reason to be. Well…sort of. I know I’ll be walking into a shit-show tonight. I wonder if Keira realizes what kind of dinner to expect tonight.
Whatever my brother wants, he is going to use Keira to get it, and that annoys me. More than that, it angers me to no end, because caring for her, letting her into my life, makes me feel like I have a weakness, and that’s something I’ve never experienced before—a weakness my brother will have no problem grabbing onto and using to prove a point.
I can feel the tension Keira carries seeping into my bones. She doesn’t like the man I am when we’re here, but it is what it is. I don’t want to hurt her feelings.
When we make it to my office, after I do my rounds, I close the door behind us, sighing in relief. There is so much shit that needs to be done, new girls to be selected.
I need to talk to Toni and Dave and set up a meeting with all my men to discuss keeping post, since clearly it’s a fucking issue being that my brother got his hands on Keira in our establishment. My head is spinning, and yet the only fucking thing I can focus on is this stupid dinner with my sadistic brother—and the fact that my hands will be forced into playing whatever game he has up his sleeve.
“Umm…” Keira clears her throat, interrupting my thoughts.
I lift my gaze to hers from where I sit behind my desk. She is in her spot on the couch—where she sat the other day…though it seems like forever ago. I’ve been on edge since our conversation earlier, and I’m certain she can feel it—her facial expressions confirming it.
“Yes?” I try to keep distaste from my tone. Her dark brown eyes soften me. She looks at me like I am her entire world, and I can’t let her down—not today or tomorrow, never.
“We didn’t…” She stumbles over her words, her teeth worrying her bottom lip, “we didn’t use a condom, and I’m not on birth control.”
Fuck. The thought never occurred to me. Then again, I wasn’t focused on anything but making Keira feel good.
“If you’re worried about catching something from me, you don’t have to be. I’ve never fucked anyone without a condom, and I get every woman screened who works here.”
“You’ve slept with every woman here?”
I lick my lips, not really wanting to discuss this with her. She’s sensitive, far too sensitive than I have the patience for right now.
“No. I haven’t sl
ept with every single woman here. But I don’t think it matters how many women I’ve slept with now that I’m with you.” I lift a brow.
Shame fills her eyes. “Okay. I’m sorry.” Her apology is full of heart, and I know she is just concerned with my feelings for her, and maybe a little worried I’ll find someone else. But she has no idea what last night meant to me, or what every day being in her presence means.
“Don’t be, but don’t ask questions we both know you don’t want answers to. I’ve slept with a lot of women. I have a lot of experience, but you have one thing they don’t.” I pause briefly, the words settling to the inside of my cheek.
I have a lot of experience, but you have one thing they don’t. “My heart.” I pause, panic seizing me.
“What’s that?” she asks, taking a seat at the front of my desk.
I’m not ready for this moment—not even fucking close. I care for Keira, I want to protect her, but love her? I’m not sure I’m ready to admit it.
“Nothing, baby. Nothing. Forget I said anything.” My voice is rough, and I hope she can’t tell how raw I’m feeling. Because if she notices, if she pries, I'll have no choice but to say something that may hurt her.
Her face falls at my response, as if she was expecting me to say something else. “Okay…and what about a baby? Unprotected sex leads to babies, and I don’t know what your thoughts on children are.”
My thoughts on children? They're nonexistent.
The thought of having a baby couldn't be farther from my mind. Just imagining it seems odd. I don’t think I can. However, for some reason, I like the idea of Keira’s belly growing round and her breasts getting heavy with milk. Beyond that, I just don’t know. A child…in my world…
It'd only be another person to protect—another person to hide from my enemies.
I’m about to give her some generic asshole response—like we’ll worry about it later, or we’ll take care of it when the time comes. But seeing her worried face, I know I need to do better. I need to be better than that…for her.
Only for her.
“We’ll do whatever you want. If you want to start using birth control, I’ll make it happen. If you were to get pregnant, I would be there for you every step of the way. I’m not going to leave you—if that’s what you're worried about.”
I can see the tension leave her body, and a relieved smile spreads across her face. This is what I want—to make her feel happy and secure—for her to know I'll go through heaven and hell for her.
A knock sounds, ending any further discussion. The smile on Keira’s face falls, and I tighten my mask into place. It has to be this way.
“Come in.”
The door swings open, and Gunner appears, followed by his girlfriend.
Shit, I don’t need this right now.
“Hey, boss.” He’s making a serious effort not to look at Keira—unlike his girl who is staring holes into her face.
“Keira, are you okay?” the girl asks—the one who is clearly ignoring me—as she steps closer. And Keira gets up like she is about to hug a friend.
“Sit your ass down,” I order Keira. She regards me with a pout on her lips, but does as she’s told. Then I turn my attention back to this girl.
“And you, you wait outside the door.” I point and glare at the girl. Now I got her attention, but she’s still not following my orders. She looks back at Keira, and I catch the exact moment she sees the bruises. Her eyes widen, and her eyebrows pull together.
“Did he do that to you? Is he hurting you?” she yells, and I’m sure everyone in the club can hear.
“Lily, please…it’s not like that.” At the same time, Gunner steps in front of Lily, shielding her from my gaze.
“Babe, calm the fuck down,” Gunner scolds her.
I grit my teeth, trying to relax myself. He better rein her in soon because my patience is running thin.
“Yeah, you might want to listen to him before I do the same to you,” I snap.
Gunner visibly tenses. He knows I’m not playing games. Lily, however, doesn’t get the memo—or she just doesn't care.
“No, I won’t calm down. He’s holding her prisoner, keeping her from coming to class, and now he is beating her? Look at her neck, Gunner!”
Feeling my patience vanish into thin air, I walk out from behind my desk and come to a stop a few feet in front of Lily.
“I can do with my property whatever the fuck I want, so if I decide I want to choke her while I fuck her, then that’s what I’m going to do.” I mean business now, but I refuse to look at Keira. I don't want to see the way she’s looking at me right now.
Keeping my gaze trained on Lily, I stare her down, hoping to scare her enough to get her to leave, maybe even take a step back when I came around the front of the desk, but instead, she fucking lunges at me.
She’s not close enough to reach me, so I don’t even take a step back, but I am slightly shocked. She’s got balls, I’ll give her that. She doesn’t get far. Gunner already has a grip on her, trying to keep her away from me. But I get the feeling that's not going to stop her.
“Jesus, Lily, calm down. Are you trying to get us killed?”
Either Lily is not hearing what he is telling her, or she doesn’t give a shit. I’m going to go with the latter. Nevertheless, she's pushing buttons she has no business pushing.
She thrashes back and forth like a wild animal in Gunner’s arms, and I have no doubt she will attack me again in a heartbeat if she gets loose. Out the corner of my eye, I catch Keira starting to cry on the couch. Her perfect brown eyes fill with tears, and she probably knows what I'm going to do next.
I pull my gun from the back of my pants and point it at her friend. My finger is on the trigger, ready to shoot any second.
As soon as Lily catches sight of the shiny metal of my gun, she stills. Her eyes grow wide. With my free hand, I grab cash from the drawer and throw it to Gunner.
“Get the fuck out of here before I put a bullet in both your heads. And, Gunner, from now on, you come alone—or not at all. I won’t have shit like this going down in my office. My word is rule here. I won’t end things so easily next time.”
“Got it, boss,” Gunner mumbles before dragging Lily out of the office by her arm.
The door closes behind them, and Keira is on her feet and across the room, running into my arms the next second. I pull her close to my chest, trying to absorb all her sorrow. I want to hide her from the world, protect her from everything that could hurt her—even me.
“She was just trying to be a good friend,” Keira manages between sobs.
The warmth of her body seeps into mine, and I want to walk us to the couch and kiss her over and over. I want to forget about my responsibilities. I want to tell my brother to shove this dinner up his ass. I want to stay here and just be with her.
But I can’t, and that’s the harsh reality of the world we live in.
“I know, baby, but it’s better like this. It has to be this way,” I whisper close to her ear.
Even in my own club, I can’t risk people hearing me talk to her like this. It’s bad enough that my brother knows how important she is to me. The more people that know about her, or my feelings for her, the bigger the target on both our backs.
I hold her for a short time before releasing her. After all the things she’s asked me today, I realize I never cared to ask her something in return. Probably because a part of me worries if I get too attached and something happens, it will kill me. Still…knowing little things about her can’t hurt, right?
“What did Lily mean when she said I’m keeping you from going to classes?”
Keira sniffles. “I was going to college to get a degree—in what, I don’t know yet; I’m still undecided—but I won’t be able to return, so it doesn’t matter anyway.”
“Once this whole thing with my brother is settled, you can go back to classes.” There will be a man protecting her on campus at all times, but we can talk about security measures late
r.
“I still won’t be able to go.” She’s not looking for pity…this, I know. She’s simply stating the truth.
“And why is that?”
“Because Leo paid for all of my schooling, and now that he’s…” she trails off, as if she doesn’t want to say the word. “I won’t be able to pay for tuition, and even with a job, it’s not going to be manageable. I have to eat and find a place to live too.”
Shit, it never occurred to me Leo was supporting her. Paying for her schooling, her housing. It’s no wonder he got caught up in some bad shit with my brother. He was trying to take care of his little sister.
He was trying to protect her—and he paid for it with blood.
“Keira, if you want to go to school, then you can. I’ll pay for your tuition in full. You don’t have to worry about money or paying me back. And you don’t have to worry about a place to live either.” Keira looks at me in disbelief.
“You can stay at my house. I’ve got food, heat, running water—everything you’ll ever need.”
“You don’t mean that, Damon.” She sniffles.
“Yes. Yes, I do, baby. I’ll give you whatever you need to make it out of this shithole. You say the word, and I’ll do it.”
The words have never been more convincing. I’ll do anything for Keira. Paying for her college tuition is nothing. Allowing her to live with me…nothing.
There is no cost for her happiness—not in my mind.
“I’ll get everything arranged when we return from my brother’s.”
Oh fuck. Dinner. My brother’s. I pull my phone from my pocket and check the time. We’ve got two hours before we need to be at the mansion.
“I’m going to call Candy. She’s got your dress, and she’s going to help you do your hair and makeup.” I feel myself slipping back into the old me, the person I have to be. Keira must feel it too because she slowly retreats to the couch.
“Okay,” she mumbles, placing her hands in her lap.
I feel the organ inside my chest beat. It’s pounding, pumping blood through my body, but I can’t let it control my decisions.