by J. L. Beck
“What if I want you to come?” I ask, my teeth sinking into my bottom lip. I don’t know what I’m doing or even what I’m asking for. All I know is that after being away from him for two days, I need to show him how valuable he is to me, how important his presence is, because then maybe he won’t leave me all alone again.
“I don’t think you know what you want, Kitten. If you knew everything about me, about the things I’ve done, you wouldn’t be wanting me to touch you, let alone take a shower with you.”
His response hurts and feels a lot like rejection, but I’ve been hurt worse in my time here, and though I might be inexperienced and a bit naive, after the way he kissed me, I know he wants me. He can deny it all he wants, but his body proves otherwise.
“You’re part of the reason I’m here, Ivan, and I still want you, so I think I know what I am asking for.”
Nervous laughter spills from his throat. “No, you haven’t the first clue what you’re asking for, and I might be a bastard, but I’m not taking that from you, especially before the checking.”
My brow furrows. “The checking?”
“Come take a shower, and I’ll take one with you.”
I oblige, springing from the bed. I walk into the bathroom and pull off all of my clothes, tossing them to the floor. I am not as timid as I was last time when I got naked in front of him. Ivan does the same, though his movements are slower and just like last time, I enjoy watching him strip. My eyes rake over the dark ink painted on his skin. He’s toned and tan, and my mouth waters with every new inch of flesh I see.
“Are you still bleeding?” He turns the water on and steps into the shower, extending a hand outward to me.
“No.” I take his hand and groan when the heated water lands against my back. When I look up at Ivan, there’s a hunger reflecting in his gray eyes.
“I think you knew what you were doing when you asked me to take a shower with you, Kitten.” His tone is playful and makes me smile.
I step closer and reach for his erection, but he snatches my wrist in an unbreakable hold.
“Not today, Kitten. I can’t have sex with you, but I can give you pleasure.” He grins before spinning me around and pulling me flush to his chest, so my back is pushed against his front. I feel his penis press into my lower back, right above my ass cheeks, and I wonder for a moment what he is doing. He said he can’t have sex with me, because of the checking, whatever that is, but knowing what the future holds, that some rich man is going to take it, makes me want to give it to Ivan even more.
With that thought, I lean forward and push my ass back against his raging erection.
“Violet,” he grits out, each finger on his hand wrapping around my hip, holding me in place. My name on his lips sounds strange, not to mention I didn’t even know he knew my name.
“I want you to be my first. If I’m going to be sold anyway, why does it matter? If this is the only thing I have that’s mine to give away then I want to give it to you.” I peer at him over my shoulder. I can see the conflict in his eyes.
“No. I want you, fucking believe me, I do, but I can’t. If they find out you aren’t a virgin when the doctor checks you then it’s procedure to give you to the men. The higher ups, then the lowers. Eventually, you’ll be sent to the whorehouse, that’s if you don’t die first. I’m not going to let that happen to you because I wanted to get my dick wet.”
I gulp at his confession. “Oh…” It’s the only thing I can say. I’m a whole lot of shocked. Shocked that he would tell me these things, shocked that they would do that to someone. Overall, I’m just so fucking surprised at how cruel of a bitch the world is.
“But I can do other things to you. I can finger you.” He releases my hip and trails his fingers down my lower back, over my ass, and between my legs. “I can eat you out. Feast on your pussy.”
I shiver at his brash words.
“I’ve never done either of those things.” My chest heaves at my admission.
“Don’t say shit like that, Kitten, not when I’m already barely hanging on by a shred.”
I shiver, feeling every word he said down to my core. He nudges my thighs apart with his hand and presses me against the tiled wall. I turn my head, placing my cheek against the cold surface.
My hardened nipples move over the damp tile, sending sparks of pleasure between my legs.
“I’m going to finger you, and then I’m going to taste you on my tongue. If you want me stop at any point, just say so but know I will not touch you again. Not even if you beg me, Kitten.”
His body is big enough to loom over mine, and while I feel one of his hands between my thighs, the other grips onto my hip, guiding me to where he wants me. With my chest pressed against the wall and my ass jutted out, I feel exposed.
Our eyes connect, and I feel the heat of his body seeping into mine as he leans into me, all his hard edges touching my soft curves.
“Fuck, you’re beautiful, Violet, so fucking beautiful.” His breath fans against my ear, his teeth grazing the sensitive flesh.
“Please…” I whimper, unsure of what I am asking for. I feel his fingers spread my lips, and I gasp at the sensation. Another finger glides over my engorged clit and a shudder of pleasure moves through me.
“Have you ever played with yourself?” Every slip of his finger over my clit makes it harder to think, harder to breathe.
“Yes…” I admit.
“Did you ever come?” he asks, a small smile tugging at his lips. I remember the few times I made myself come with my clumsy fingers. I felt not even a fraction of what I’m feeling right now.
“Yes,” I confess again
The movements of his finger halt, and I damn near scream in frustration.
“Please, don’t stop…” I sound desperate and maybe I am. I want his touch, his kisses, the heat of his body on mine. I want to feel wanted and cared for. He leans his head down and nibbles on my shoulder. I let my head fall to the side to give him better access to my neck, and he takes full advantage of it, kissing, licking, and sucking on the sensitive flesh. My moans echo throughout the small shower stall and right back into my ears.
“Touch yourself, Kitten. Tease your clit like you would if you were alone. Pinch it and rub it, and I’ll finger you.”
I follow his command, wanting only the pleasure I know he can give me. My hand shakes nervously as I move it toward my pussy. I lick my lips, and my eyes flutter closed as I touch myself there just as he was. It doesn’t feel the same... but then I feel him moving his fingers back toward my entrance. I spread my legs wider, giving myself to him completely.
“Mmm, I love that you’re so eager for my touch, Kitten.”
He circles my entrance with one thick finger, teasing it, massaging it, and then he dips in, just the fingertip. The feeling isn’t completely foreign. In fact, it’s enough to make me pant. He pulls out the tip of his finger and dips back inside, a little bit more than before. I don’t think he is all the way in yet, but a delicious fullness fills my belly when he moves his finger around inside me.
“I’m not going to go real deep, just in case. But I’m going to keep my finger inside you until you come on my hand.” His low raspy voice is right next to my ear, and I feel like his voice has a direct line to my pussy. Pleasure starts to build deep in my belly, the pressure of his finger inside me radiates pleasure outward.
“You stop touching yourself and I’ll take my finger out,” he warns.
I want to tell him I couldn’t if I tried but the only thing leaving my mouth right now are moans and pants.
I rub my clit faster, pinching it between two fingers, while he moves his thick digit in and out of me. His movements are gentle and precise, and a coil of pleasure starts to unravel inside of me at the rhythm. I can feel him splayed out over my backside, his firm penis pressing against my leg. He’s panting with need as much as I am, and all the sensations coupled together build deeper and deeper, pulling the typhoon of pleasure right out of me.
> “Ivan… I’m going to…” I can’t get anything else out because the pleasure flooding my veins takes my breath away. Every muscle in my body tightens, a euphoric fog clings to me and I end up on my tiptoes as the sensations overtake my body. Waves of pleasure float over me, and I cling to the tile. I can barely hold myself up. Only then does Ivan slip his finger out of me. My eyes feel heavy, and I let him sling both of his arms around me, carrying most of my weight. He gave me something I’ve never felt before, and I’ll never forget that.
“Thank you,” I murmur, leaning against his chest. I close my eyes, enjoying the aftermath of the endorphin rush, and though he doesn’t say anything, I know he feels the same things I’m feeling. An invisible teether, pulling us together, bringing us closer and closer together.
Chapter Eight
Ivan
Her tiny body leans against mine, and I know if I wasn’t holding her up right now, her knees would buckle. Her cheeks are flushed, and she’s still trying to get her breathing under control. Then I realize… I am, too. Fuck, that was hot. Her pussy was so tight around my finger, clenching and squeezing the fucking life out of me. I want nothing more than to plunge my dick deep inside her, to feel her pussy squeeze my dick like she did with my finger moments ago.
My balls ache, and my cock is so hard I don’t know if it will ever go down again. I groan, knowing that I can’t have her. Not this way, not any way. She isn’t mine to keep, mine to have.
I reach for the shampoo and squeeze some into her hair. With my free hand, I start washing her, massaging her scalp while moving the suds through her long hair. I wish more than ever that we were in another world where I could have her, make her mine.
“What’s the checking thing you were talking about?”
I question for a moment if I should tell her or not. Would it be worse to know? If she knows and fights them, she could get hurt, but if she knows and is prepared, maybe it’ll be easier for her.
Then again, she might be just as scared. I don’t internally argue with myself until after I’ve rinsed out her hair. By that time, she’s regained some strength and can stand on her own again. She turns to look at me, her big blue eyes pleading with me.
Fuck, I know then I’m going to tell her, even if I don’t want to. She’s got this pull on me, something about her makes me want to do the right thing. I hand her a washcloth after squirting some soap on it. She takes it and starts washing herself, while I start on myself.
“We have a doctor come and check out each of you to make sure you aren’t sick and don’t have any diseases that can be given to the buyer.” I pause briefly, not wanting to say the rest. “They also check to make sure each of you are still virgins. We only sell virgins because they bring in the highest paying dollar and usually these things are checked when they bring you in, but this time around, the doctor wanted to wait.”
Violet gives me a shocked expression. “So, they will just take me somewhere and force me to lay there while they inspect me?”
I gulp, “Yes. One of the guards will come and get you and take you down to the doctor’s office. There you will strip and get into the chair.”
“What happens if I don’t want to do it?” she whispers. I think she already knows the answer, but I answer her anyway, just to prove how horribly dangerous this could be for her.
“If you don’t do as they tell you, they’ll hurt you. It will happen one way or another, Violet. And if you keep fighting them, they’ll give you a sedative. If they do that then…”
“Then I can’t protect myself,” she finishes for me. The idea of one of the other men touching her makes me furious, makes me want to break bones, rip flesh, kill and destroy. Every instinct inside me tells me to claim her, but I can’t, and it’s fucking killing me. When all of this is over, I’ll have to let her go. When it comes time for the auction, everything I did here won’t matter, and I hate that.
Violet rinses all the suds off her body, and then I do the same. Once we’re both clean, we step out and I dry her off, wrapping her hair up just like I did the other day.
She smiles up at me, but there is a sadness in those big blues. “I’m sorry about what happened the other night. About slapping you and yelling at you.”
She has no reason to be sorry. I shouldn’t have grabbed her, shook her, I shouldn’t have hurt her over the memory of my sister.
“You have nothing to be sorry for.” I wrap a towel around my middle, shielding my still rock-hard cock.
“I do though. I don’t know who Mira is, and I shouldn’t have assumed something.” Her name being said out loud, especially from Violet’s mouth, pisses me off. But I’m not angry at Violet. No, this anger is all mine.
“It’s really okay. I shouldn’t have lashed out over a nightmare.”
Violet doesn’t look like she believes me, and that’s fine. I don’t want to talk about my dead sister anymore, or how she came to be dead in the first place. Instead, I walk over to my dresser and pull out a t-shirt and a pair of boxers, tossing them to her. She pulls the boxers up and then pulls my t-shirt on over her head.
It swallows her slim body whole, and for the first time, I look at her, really look at her. She looks good in my clothes, and the comparison of my body to hers is yet another reminder of why I need to protect her. She’s so small and delicate. I drop the towel wrapped around my middle without thought and pull on a pair of clean boxers.
“What’s going to happen to me, Ivan? I’ve been here awhile. I don’t know how long exactly, but I do know that this auction you keep talking about has to be coming up soon?”
She asks me questions she knows I shouldn’t answer but ones I can’t deny answering.
“I shouldn’t really tell you,” I mumble, heading toward the bed. I’m exhausted, and after forcing myself to be away from her for two days, I miss her being here in my bed beside me.
“Please don’t keep this from me. I need to know how much time I have left.” She states matter-of-factly, talking like she is waiting for her death sentence… and maybe she is.
My chest hurts thinking about it, thinking about handing her over to some rich fuck so that he can violate her. I’m sending her to be broken in the worst ways.
“Ten days… you have ten days.”
She shakes her head slowly as if she has to digest the information.
“Can I ask you something else?” She sounds unsure, and she looks up at me, almost embarrassed.
I nod.
“Why can’t you keep me? Can’t you just ask your boss if you can have me, or you buy me yourself? I could work off the money.”
I walk up to her and kneel right in front of where she is sitting on the bed. I take both of her hands in mine and look at her. “Trust me, if I thought there was even a sliver of a chance that he would let me have you, I would do it in a heartbeat. But it just doesn’t work like that. Rossi has a zero policy on weakness. If he were to find out that you mean anything to me, he would kill you with a smile on his face.”
A small gasp escaped her lips. I know all of this probably scares her but everything I’m telling her is the truth. Maybe that makes me an asshole, but I'd rather her know than have her assume I don't want her at all.
“So, you would keep me if you could?”
I feel us moving closer and closer into uncharted waters. I've never wanted anything like I want Violet, but confessing it makes me feel weak. And claiming her is only going to prove that further.
“I would help you… but I wouldn't keep you even if I could.” Regret fills my body as soon as the words leave my lips, and I see the pain of rejection in her eyes. I get up and turn away from her, unable to look at her despair any longer. Telling her how I feel about her… how I would keep her forever if I could would only make things worse. It would make this already complicated situation much more complicated.
“You can stay here at night, but you have to go back to your cell during the day.” I hate it but this is the only thing I have left to offer her.
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“Every night?” she asks, perking up a bit. I sit down next to her on the bed and we angle our bodies so we’re looking at each other.
“If you want, yes.” She nods furiously at my offer, her eyes lighting up.
“I can come and get you after they bring you food at night, but I have to take you back before anyone notices in the morning.”
“Okay,” she whispers and forces a smile. I don’t know why I just now realize it, but she might be the bravest person I’ve ever known.
I have no doubt that she is scared shitless, and she has every right to be. I wouldn't hold it against her if she was screaming, kicking, and crying every time I left her in that cell, but she tries her very best to put on a brave face.
“Come on, let’s get some sleep.” I nudge her to scoot up and lie down but she stops me with a hand to the shoulder.
“What about you?” She looks down at the tent between my legs.
“Don’t worry about me. You don’t have to do anything,” I try to assure her. I don’t want to take anything else from her. She’ll endure enough in the weeks to come.
“But… I want to. I can do it like I did it the other day.”
I nearly lose it right then and there. I want her so fucking bad, it hurts. It literally makes my body ache.
“Did you not like it… last time in the shower?” There’s a frown on her lips, and I want to kiss it away. I want to scream from the rooftops how much I fucking loved her tiny hand on my cock, stroking the life out of me.
“Of course, I did.” I shake my head, and her brow furrows in confusion. I know I need to better explain myself simply from the look on her face, “I just don’t want you to feel like you have to do something for me, like you’re repaying me or something. You don’t owe me anything. I would do this stuff for you even if you didn’t give me a hand job or let me touch you.”
“I really want to do it.” Her voice is low but determined and then, as if she think she’s strong, she takes her tiny hand and places it on my shoulder, pushing against me in a feeble attempt to get me to lie down. Her small attempt at making me do what she wants me to do has me chuckling.