by J. L. Beck
“Listen very carefully, Roman, because I’m only going to say this once to you.” I step into his space, snarling, “You can hate me all you want, you can even fight me if it makes you feel better, but you will not talk to her the way you want to, like she’s some piece of garbage. You are not going to scare her or make her feel like shit either. You have no fucking idea what she’s been through. You can’t imagine the shit show I got her out of. You’re going to treat her with fucking respect. Are we clear?”
A smile forms on his thin lips. “I think it’s hilarious you think you can come into my fucking house and tell me what I’m going to do and not going to do.”
He’s pushing me, wanting to see how far I’ll go for her.
“Roman…” I exhale a ragged breath. “Please, just fucking do this for me… for Mira.” Saying her name hurts, it hurts really fucking bad, and I know hearing her name hurts Roman.
“She is not Mira. She’s not our fucking sister and saving her doesn’t bring Mira back. And none of this matters anyway, because I don’t give a fuck about her, or her happiness. I came down here to tell you that I’m not getting involved in your shit. Tell your fucking people to leave me alone. I answer to no one. I’m my own boss, Ivan.”
“What the fuck are you talking about? I have no people anymore. It’s just me now.”
“Really? Does Xander Rossi know that?” He cocks a brow.
“Xander? I have nothing to do with him. I worked for his father, not him, and up until a week ago, Xander didn’t even know his father was alive.”
“Well, he’s been asking around for you since yesterday.” Shit. What the hell does he want? Isn’t it enough have one criminal organization looking for me?
“Does anyone know I’m here?”
“Of course not. Do you think I’m stupid? I don’t want a fucking target on my back. I trust everybody who was at the gym yesterday. No one is going to say a fucking word, not unless they want to die.” A darkness cloaks his face.
With Xander and his father both looking for me, and a wound that’s still seeping blood, staying here is our only chance at making it out of this alive. I need to protect Violet above all.
“If you kick us out, we’re as good as dead, and we both know it.” I pause, gauging his facial expression. “If something happens, you’re not only going to have my life on your conscious, but hers too, and she’s done nothing to you. Fuck, she’s done nothing to anybody. They just plucked her off the street for no other reason than her being in the wrong place at the wrong time. She is innocent in all of this shit.”
I can see Roman’s struggling with this decision. He looks conflicted but I know he’ll make the right choice. Violet might not be Mira, but he, too, sees the connection. Mira was just as innocent. She had done nothing to deserve to die, and neither has Violet. I might have cost us Mira, but I’m not going to fuck Violet over. Not after all I’ve done to save her life.
“Fuck,” Roman finally huffs out. “Stay, if you must, but stay out of my way.” He storms off, a warning hanging in the air. As soon as he’s out of sight, I immediately grip onto the wall to steady myself. I stand there for a moment, catching my breath, when I hear a quiet sob come from the other side of the bedroom door. I walk back into the room and find Violet crying on the bed. She looks up at me, her blues rimmed red with tears.
“It’s all my fault. It’s all because of me,” she whimpers.
“No, Kitten, none of this is your fault,” I assure her.
“If you didn’t help me, no one would be after you right now, and you would not have gotten shot. Now, I’ve put even more people in danger. I’m just going to leave. You’ll be better off without me.”
I sit down on the bed next to her and cradle her cheek against my hand. She has no idea what she is saying. How much saving her saved me.
“Don’t say that, Kitten, I’ll never be better off without you. I needed this. I needed to break free from the hold they all had on me. You stumbling into my life just placed everything together perfectly. Saving you helped me save myself.”
“I mean it, Ivan. You said so yourself, you don’t want this to last… you don’t love me. I can leave now and stop being a burden to you and Roman. I can stop hurting everyone, causing more problems.” Her words sting; they rip me apart from the inside out.
“Kitten, do you really think I would have done all of this if I wasn’t in love with you? If I didn’t fucking love you all long?”
“You love me?” Her eyes light up, and she nuzzles into my hand, but I can still see doubt flicker in those blue depths of hers. A part of her doesn’t believe me, believes it might be too good to be true.
“Yes, I love you. I couldn’t admit it before, not to you… or to myself, but that’s because I wanted to think that I was doing this for you. I didn’t want to return the feelings because I was afraid of what it would mean. You’re going nowhere unless I’m by your side.”
She crawls into my lap and melts into my chest, her tiny hands pressing against my muscles, and strangely, I wish we were naked right now, her pretty pussy swallowing my cock.
“I love you, too, more than you could ever know, but I think your brother hates me,” she admits shamefully, as if she has a reason to be shameful over my brother hating her. It’s not her fault he’s a prick.
“Roman hates everybody, and I mean everybody, so don’t take it personally.”
I barely finish speaking when Roman appears back in the doorway.
“Doc said to take this,” he growls, throwing a pill bottle at me.
“What are these?” I ask, grabbing the pill bottle off the bed. There isn’t a label on it, and I know how my brother is. He’s been known to take some shit, shit that fucks with his head, and his mood. The last thing I want is to take something and put Violet in danger.
“Antibiotics.” He rolls his eyes. “Worried I’d give you something else? Swap out some of the pills? Give you something that would make you lose control?”
Violet gasps in my arms as she buries her face into my chest. Roman’s dark gaze roams over her body for a second longer than acceptable, and I find a growl escaping my lips.
She’s mine. All fucking mine. Every single inch of her creamy body belongs to me, as well as her fucking heart.
“I have a fight next week. You should come. Check out what it’s all about. If you’re going to be staying awhile, you might as well get acquainted with the shit that goes down around here.”
I clench my jaw, I thought maybe when he said illegal shit he was slinging drugs, prostitution at best. But of course not. He’s running in the underground fighting circles. Knowing him, he is into the most dangerous ones… the ones where the only way out is death.
“I don’t know if that’s safe for Violet, plus I need to figure out a way to get rid of the bodies over at the rental.”
Roman laughs. “Well, keeping her here at the house isn’t going to be safe either. Everyone comes back here for a gigantic party at the end of the night. And I already sent some men over to dispose of the fuckers’ bodies.” He smiles, and it’s a downright serial killer looking. “Let’s just say no one will ever find them.”
I sigh in relief. Yes, Roman is an asshole, a prick, but when he does shit, he gets it done, never half assing it. He might still hate me, hold a grudge, but he’s not going to leave me in the dark. At the end of the day, we’re family, and family is all that matters in this fucked up world.
“Thank you,” I mumble.
“Don’t mention it, and I do mean it. Don’t mention it. I didn’t do it for you. Like you said, as soon as all is well, we can go back to hating each other like we always have.”
I roll my eyes at his dramatic tone. He leaves the room without another word, and I take the moment of silence to hold Violet’s fragile body tighter to my chest. Everything is going to be fine. She’ll be protected, secure by my side, and no one will hurt her or us.
She’s safe… safe in my arms.
“I love you
,” I whisper into her hair, wanting to say the words over and over again, knowing I shouldn’t have waited so long to say them. I’d been guarding my heart for so long, I failed to see what was right in front of me. I failed to see the love that poured from deep within her but there was no missing it now, and if I had to, I’d kill everyone and do anything to make sure she remained mine.
Mine and safe.
Chapter Nineteen
Violet
A little over a week had passed since Roman rescued us and helped patch up Ivan’s wound, which was finally healing. I knew this because he kept trying to get me to have sex with him while I kept denying him, even though I wanted him just as badly. He needed to be healing, letting the wound close completely, but all he really wanted was for me to be wrapped around him.
I’m sitting in one of the many living rooms this place has, reading a book that we had gotten when we went on a grocery run. I don’t particularly like being here, and I don’t really like Roman, but I’m happy he and Ivan are finally getting along better. Roman still hardly interacts with me. Most of the time, he pretends I’m not here, and I am fine with that. I would much rather him not look at me than give me the death stare he gave me at the gym the first night I met him.
I started seeing a change between Roman and Ivan a few days after we got here. Roman seemed to have warmed up to Ivan being here. Maybe he remembered that he is still his brother after all. I see them joke and laugh more often and that makes some of the coldness Roman gives me bearable. I tell myself he’s misunderstood, heartbroken over the loss of their sister, but I’m sure there is something deeper going on.
“Come here, Kitten,” Ivan calls from the kitchen just on the other side of the room. I hear male laughter and hushed voices. I don’t like when he uses my nickname in front of all the men who live here. I don’t want them to know what he calls me. I just want it to stay between us, as our own little thing.
Placing the book down on the table in front of me, I get up and pad into the kitchen, noticing that everyone is occupying the space. I feel exposed with everyone’s eyes on me.
Mac and Devin greet me with smiles. Roman completely ignores me, as he always does. He doesn’t even look up at me when I enter the room.
Ivan reaches for me, pulling me into his side, a smile creeping onto his lips. “We’re going to order pizza before the fight tonight. What kind do you want?”
I can see the disgust fill Roman’s features, and I don’t understand why he dislikes me so much.
“Cheese is fine.” I shrug. I don’t tell Ivan I’m not hungry, or that I haven’t been feeling good lately. If I do, he’ll worry, and I don’t want him worrying about me when there are lots of other things going on right now. This Xander guy has been calling Roman to get ahold of Ivan. The fear of something bad happening to Ivan again consumes me. Maybe he should just call him, telling him he doesn’t want to be a part of whatever it is he’s calling about.
“On it, Kitten,” Devin jokes, and I smile at him. Devin and Mac have grown on me. They’re nicer and far easier going than Roman.
“Tonight at nine is the fight. It’s invite only, but since you’re arriving with me, you should be fine.” Roman is speaking directly to Ivan, and I turn my face into Ivan’s shirt, inhaling his deep scent, trying to calm the chaos coursing through my veins. “As long as you keep her at your side at all times, then everything should be fine. If you lose her in the crowd though…” Roman’s voice trails off, the warning not missed, not at all.
“I won’t let her out of my sight, so we don’t have shit to worry about.” Ivan’s voice is strong, deep, and he pulls me closer, making it hard for me to breathe.
“Good, because if something goes down, I can’t help you. I’m there to fucking fight and earn a paycheck. Not to babysit you or her.” I feel Roman’s eyes on me, they burn into my skin, making me feel as if he can see deep inside me.
Devin calls to order the food, and not shortly after is it delivered. After we eat, we get ready for the fight. I have half a mind to ask Ivan if I can just stay home, but I know he’d say no. He never goes anywhere without me. I slip on a pair of skinny jeans and a sweatshirt.
“Are you okay?” Ivan asks, cupping me by the cheek, forcing me to look at him.
I don’t want to lie to him, but I also don’t want to give him any more reason to worry about me, since that’s all he seems to do.
“I’m fine. Just nervous about the fight is all.”
“Are you still scared of Roman? You hardly talk when he’s in the room.” His gray eyes peer into mine, and it’s so hard to keep in the words that I want to say.
“Stop worrying about me and worry about yourself. You’ve still got some healing to do.”
His thumb swipes across my bottom lip and then he’s leaning into me, taking my mouth, kissing me feverishly. I grip onto his shirt, feeling all his hardness, wanting to strip him bare and touch every inch of his beautiful body.
“Are you lovebirds ready to fucking go?” Roman’s voice carries down the hall, interrupting our conversation, which I’m thankful for. If he asked me one more time if I was okay, or if something was wrong, I was going to break down.
“Yeah, we’re ready.” Ivan pulls away, leaving me whimpering and breathless. Taking my hand into his, he pulls me downstairs and then outside to Roman’s car. Everyone piles in… and I’m squished in the back seat between Ivan and Devin.
Ivan’s muscled arm wrapped protectively around me, pulling me into his side. The drive isn’t long, and Roman drives us in complete silence. He white knuckles the steering wheel as if he’s pent up with aggression. We drive for a little while longer and end up at some old abandoned warehouse out in the middle of nowhere. Roman parks in the back, driving past the full parking lot in front of the building. He exits the car and we hear the back hatch open and notice him pulling out a black duffel bag. I wonder what’s inside of it for a moment but assume it’s just his fighting stuff. It has to be... unless he’s bringing weapons? I guess I never cared to ask Ivan what kind of fights they do here.
Ivan helps me from the car, and we walk up to the building together. Roman guides us around a corner to some side entrance, where four large guys are manning the door. They’re huge, their arms as thick as tree branches, permanent scowls on their face. Their bodies tower above mine, and I shrink into Ivan’s side more.
“Don’t be scared, Kitten,” Ivan whispers, leaning down to press a kiss against my head.
“Roman.” One of the guys nods at us as we get closer. “They’re all with you?”
“Yeah, they’re good,” Roman replies nonchalantly. Then, without question, the doors are being opened for us. Ivan maintains a tight grip on me as we walk into the building together with Roman leading the way. I hear the roar of a crowd somewhere off in the distance, but the noise is more a whisper then an actual roar until Roman opens a door leading us into a dark stairwell.
Two things hit me when as we’re walking down the stairs into the basement. One, a strong smell permeates the air down here. It’s a mixture of beer, the sourness of sweat, and the coppery tang of blood. The second thing is the sound. There must be hundreds of people down here. Some are cheering while others are booing. One way or another, everybody is just being loud, and the noise makes my head pound. I can barely hear myself think, let alone hear if Ivan is talking to me.
When we reach the bottom of the stairs, I see that there is already a fight taking place. I hold back a gasp when I catch a glimpse of the guys in the center of the ring, if you could even call it a ring. It’s just a slab of concrete with tape borders. They’re covered in blood, with bruises already forming against their skin. I’m half shocked to see that they’re still fighting; shouldn’t someone be stopping them? How do they know if someone is a winner?
“Don’t worry, I won’t look like this at the end of my fight,” Roman chuckles, and it takes me a moment to realize that he was talking to me. “Stay together; we are going to the locker room.”
Ivan and I make our way through the crowd until we get to the side of the ring while Roman, Mac, and Devin disappear into a hallway. Ivan keeps his arm around me, and I take full advantage of his protection, leaning into him even more.
“These fights are just to warm up the crowd,” Ivan tells me, leaning down and talking into my ear so I can hear him over the crowd. “Roman’s fight is the main event.”
“What makes these fights different from Roman’s fight?” I ask curiously.
Ivan’s mood darkens in an instant, as if I’ve just reminded him of something bad. “In those warm-up fights no one usually dies.” He frowns.
“What are you saying?” I must have misunderstood him. Ivan’s frown deepens. “Are you saying the fight Roman’s going to be in will be one… to the death?” The confusion fades away as I grasp the concept completely now.
“Yes, Kitten, that’s exactly what I’m saying,” Ivan confirms, and I have no response to what he’s just told me.
What is this, the Middle Ages? I don’t understand the intrigue. Who would want to actually watch someone be beaten to death? A knot of worry fills my belly. I don’t care if Roman likes me or not, I don’t want him to die. He’s Ivan’s brother and even if I don’t want to admit it, he’s cared for both of us, giving us somewhere to stay, making sure we were both safe.
“Don’t worry, Kitten. Roman won’t lose. He never does… obviously. He’d rather kill himself then let someone else do it for him.”
I nod, gulping around the fear that’s lodged itself in my throat. I don’t like this place… or anything about it, for that matter.
My thoughts are interrupted by the loud cheering of the crowd and when I look to the ring, I see one of the guys on the floor and the other one has his arms raised. A mixture of blood and sweat coats his muscled chest and when he smiles, all I see is blood. With his raised hand in the air, I notice that these guys are not even wearing boxing gloves; all they have is some kind of tape wrapped around their knuckles, as if that's going to protect their skin or bones from breaking.