Magic and Mayhem

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Magic and Mayhem Page 20

by R K Dreaming


  But luckily Gwendolyn Prince was there to make sure the old man would not die tonight. She cast an incantation that suddenly muffled the barking of the dog, and a greater darkness pressed upon the already existing darkness, dousing the little orange glow of the distant cigarette.

  “He can’t see us anymore and he can’t hear us, and neither can his dog,” said Gwendolyn.

  They continued to walk towards the garden and the ominous silence and blackness stayed all around them.

  “Impressive,” said Juliet grudgingly. “Now if only you’d be as impressive finding that walnut of mine.”

  “It’s not yours,” Hank grumbled. “It was ours. Split four ways.”

  “You’ll be lucky if I don’t split your life four ways,” said Gwendolyn. “If you three hadn’t been such bumbling fools, then we would have been living the dream this past decade.

  “It was luck,” mumbled Hank. “I always thought it was bad luck, but maybe was good luck. I should have just left it. I shouldn’t have bothered. All those years I searched for that walnut so I could make you happy. But there is no making you happy, is there?”

  “Oh shut up, Hank,” she snapped. “I’m tired of you. I’m tired of this whole thing.”

  She rounded on Gwendolyn, and spat, “You’re not trying hard enough. You’re doing it on purpose. Maybe you think I didn’t mean it when I said I’d turn your horrid daughter’s head to mush?”

  “If you harm a hair on her head…” growled Gwendolyn.

  “You’ll what?” screeched Juliet. “Do you think I am a fool? Do you think I don’t know you’re all trying to buy time until you can find a way to take me down?”

  “Please, Mrs Jolie,” squeaked Nan.

  “Shut up you blithering blond fool!” shouted Juliet. “Don’t you know that you and the fish girl are expendable? I’ll show you all that I mean business!” She whipped her wand towards Nan.

  The hard little wand tip that had been pressed under Percy’s throat was gone. Percy jerked her head forwards and bit Juliet’s hand hard.

  Juliet screeched. She jerked away from Percy. There was a sharp BANG and a shot of air went rushing past Percy’s ear.

  Gwendolyn had finally done it. She had disarmed Juliet!

  Percy meant to shove Juliet away from her, but someone crashed into them both, knocking them over.

  A voice yelled, “Venio wand!”

  Percy tried to get back to her feet, but someone tackled her back down to the ground.

  “It’s me,” she said, thinking it was Shara. “Get off!”

  But the person clamped their hand over Percy’s mouth and sat on her so she couldn’t get up.

  Next to her somebody had done the same to Juliet, who was trying to scream. From the muffled spluttering sounds she was making, it sounded like they had pressed her face down into the turf.

  “Hello Juliet, long time no see,” said Fred Sheedy’s voice.

  And then a little light popped on. It came from the tip of the wand Fred was holding. Nan’s wand.

  Fred was sitting on top of Juliet, his hand pressing her head face down into the grass. He was grinning madly as Juliet squirmed furiously. He seemed to be enjoying crushing her into the dirt.

  “Here you go, Georgie, a nice wand for you,” said Fred, and he tossed a wand to George, who was sitting on top of Percy. As Fred caught it, Percy saw that it was Gwendolyn’s wand.

  With a cry of alarm, Percy craned her neck to try to find her mum.

  “You be a good girl, now,” he said, patting her on the head before he climbed off her.

  The tip of his wand lit up, casting a glow all around.

  Percy could barely move in the stupid roped. She squirmed and flopped about until she achieved an upright position, and called urgently, “Mum?”

  There was no answer. She saw two dark figures who had to be Nan and Shara shuffling over to where Gwendolyn had been. The smaller of the two figures crouched down and whispered, “Mrs Prince?” in Nan’s voice. Percy finally realized that what she had thought was a bit of bumpy ground had to be her mum’s limp body.

  “What have you done to my mum?” Percy yelled.

  “Easy there, fishy,” said George. “It’s only a bodylock curse. She’ll be fine when someone takes it off her.

  “Won’t be us though,” said Fred regretfully. “We only came to get something that belongs to us and then we’ll leave you folks be.”

  “She’s okay, Percy,” Nan called. “She’s stiff, but she’s still breathing.”

  Fred must have let go of Juliet’s head because she immediately began cursing at him.

  “Now, now Juliet,” he said. “That’s enough of that. Silento!”

  Juliet went silent immediately.

  He started to bind her up using an incantation. She squirmed and squiggled and made a huge fuss, kicking Percy who was sitting beside her. Percy scooched away.

  “Fred, George,” cried out Hank Hyde in joy. “Is it really you?”

  The little glow of light from Fred Sheedy’s wand expanded until his face was clearly visible. And then he shone it at George.

  “You’ve missed these faces, haven’t you Hank?” he said.

  “We missed you too, old pal,” said George. “But that was when we thought you were dead. Bit weird that you’re still alive mate.”

  “You’re not going to hurt these people, are you?” said Hank shakily.

  “Who do you think we are, pal?” said George. “We don’t hurt people! Not if we can help it.”

  “It’s been a long time,” said Hank tiredly.

  “Tell us about it,” said Fred. “Longer for us in prison than for you out here.”

  “You think life out here has been a ball?” protested Hank. “I’ve been dead to the world! Hiding like a terrified animal! I’m so sick and tired. I’m done with it. I just want to hand myself in and rest.”

  “Prison is no rest, pal,” said Fred. “Believe us. You think we had it easy after stealing from Antioch Blaze? He has people everywhere. Prison was hell. Why’d you think we were so desperate to break out?”

  “But don’t worry, old pal,” said George. “You’re one of us. We’re headed into the sunset and we’ll take you with us.”

  “I can’t,” muttered Hank. “I just can’t do it anymore.” He sounded very tired.

  “Are you three going to talk all day?” demanded Percy. “Just do what you came for and then you can leave us the heck alone!”

  “She’s got a point,” said George jovially.

  “Is this really the last hiding place, Hank?” said Fred.

  “How do you know?” said Hank, sounding surprised.

  “We’d just got to your old granny’s house and were gonna wait for you to show up,” said George, “and you did. Followed you here, didn’t we? And when Mrs Fancypants” — he pointed towards Gwendolyn — “did that muffling spell, it was the perfect chance for us to creep in close.”

  “You sure the walnut is in the old geezer’s garden?” said Fred.

  “I think so,” said Hank shakily. “I really hope so.”

  “What was that password again, Georgie?” said Fred.

  “Pass-limerick,” said George.

  “Pass-poem, I thought it was,” said Fred.

  “There was once a young man,” said George.

  “Ah yes,” said Fred. “I remember it now. Ready Georgie? Altogether now.”

  The Sheedy cousins started to sing.

  “There was once a young man named Hank Hyde,

  Who found out he’d never been pied,

  So much in his life,

  As he had by his wife,

  Who couldn’t care less if he died.

  Poor Hank thought he loved her,

  But it’s time that he shoved her,

  Off a cliff to see if she’d fly.”

  At Percy’s side, Juliet squirmed furiously, but made no sound, the silencing charm still holding.

  “That’s not funny,” said Hank in a small voice.<
br />
  “Venio walnut!” cried the Sheedy cousins together.

  There was an expectant silence. The Sheedy cousins held up their hands as if expecting the walnut to fly into it.

  “Any moment now!” cried George.

  But nothing happened. Nothing whipped through the air and landed in the Sheedy cousin’s hands.

  “Darn it, Fred,” said George. “It must be buried too deep! We shouldn’t have knocked out Gwendolyn Prince. We should have let her get all the bits of metal out of the ground first.”

  “And have her attack us?” said Fred. “Couldn’t risk it.”

  “Try again?” suggested George.

  Fred nodded.

  “Venio walnut!” they said again together, looking expectantly at the old man’s garden.

  Again nothing happened.

  “You sure you’ve got the right place, Hank?” said Fred.

  “It has to be here,” said Hank sounding baffled. “It has to be. You sure you’ve got your password right?”

  “Course we have!” said George, sounding offended.

  “Try it again,” said Hank.

  The Sheedy cousins started singing their poem again, flicking their wands like conductor’s batons.

  “There was once a young man named Hank Hyde,

  Who found out he’d never been pied,

  So much in his life,

  As he had by his—”

  They suddenly squeaked to a stop, their glowing wands in mid-air. Then the wands dropped. The Sheedy cousin’s bodies shook as if being rattled by angry bears. And both of them dropped like stones to the ground.

  A torch light flared so dazzlingly bright that Percy had to close her eyes.

  “Is everyone okay?” said a voice.

  “Felix!” cried Nan.

  Percy blearily blinked in his direction, still squinting at the brightness of the torch.

  “About time,” she said. “I knew the Sheedys would lead you here. You’ve kept us waiting long enough!”

  15. An Ultimatum

  Percy sat on her mother’s bed watching Gwendolyn Prince turn back and forth in front of her full length mirror. Gwendolyn was clad in a silver cocktail dress that her favorite modiste had delivered yesterday evening.

  It was Saturday morning. Now fully recovered from the bodylock curse that had left her immobile two nights ago, Gwendolyn already had her trunks packed. She had declared to Percy the previous evening that she was tired of London and needed some sun.

  “That was almost ingenious of you, dear,” Gwendolyn was saying, “biding time because you knew that Felix and Octavia would come and find us all. But I do wish you had thought of a way to let me know that was your plan.”

  “I couldn’t just tell you out loud, could I?” said Percy.

  “But I did not like that vampire girl, Octavia,” Gwendolyn continued. “You mustn’t let her take credit for all your work. After all, it was you who discovered that Hank Hyde was alive and that Juliet was such a scheming little devil.”

  “Aren’t you supposed to say it doesn’t matter so long as we all got out of it alive?” said Percy with amusement.

  That was the sort of thing that Nan’s mum would say, not Percy’s.

  “Of course it matters!” her mother cried. “Antioch Blaze is a very prominent member of witching society. I can just imagine his face when I tell him that my daughter is the one who found out where his stolen wildmagic was for all these years.”

  Her mother sounded proud for once. This made Percy feel very awkward all of a sudden.

  Unaware that she had inadvertently complimented Percy, Gwendolyn continued, “He’s been spitting mad that the conclave had failed to get those awful Sheedy cousins to confess where they had hidden it. Imagine that they never knew all along!”

  “The conclave still might not find that wildmagic for all we know,” said Percy. “Felix told me in school yesterday that they’d started digging up that old Humble man’s garden and half of the park looking for it.”

  “It will be found,” said Gwendolyn confidently. “And when it does, you had better make sure you take your share of the credit. Don’t let that Smythe-Smith girl take it all.”

  Percy’s mother had taken an instant dislike to Octavia, much to Percy’s pleasure. Her mother usually liked the people Percy disliked and disliked the people Percy liked.

  “I would have thought that Felix had better taste,” Gwendolyn muttered under her breath.

  Percy burst into laughter. “So that’s why you don’t like her? You think she’s Felix’s girlfriend? She isn’t!”

  Her mother’s face brightened immediately. “She isn’t? Well that’s wonderful darling. I always thought that you and he might—”

  Percy groaned loudly, and stuffed her fingers in her ears saying, “No, no, no. Felix is just my friend!”

  She only took her fingers out when her mother pointed her wand at her menacingly. She knew Gwendolyn wouldn’t do it, but it was best to be sure.

  “And don’t you make the mistake of thinking that I’m pleased with your recent actions, young lady!” said Gwendolyn. “I never want to hear that you’ve become involved in something like this again! Trying to catch a murderer yourself indeed!”

  “Yes mum,” said Percy. Silently adding, I’ll make sure you don’t hear about it.

  Her mother had turned back to the mirror and was experimenting with adding little glimmering beads to the silver patterning on her dress. She took them off with a swish of her wand and tried some tiny seed pearls instead.

  “November in England is so dreary, darling,” she said. “Are you sure you won’t come with us?”

  Percy knew that this was not a real invitation. She doubted her mother wanted a teenage daughter along with her on her travels, spoiling all her fun. And yet this was the first time ever that Gwendolyn had asked Percy if she wanted to come along. It was a nice feeling.

  “I can’t mum,” she said. “School starts again on Monday.”

  “But I can get you out of that easily, darling,” said Gwendolyn. “It’s not like—” She cut herself off sharply. “Well, you know what I mean.”

  “It’s not like I have magic and need to learn to control it?” said Percy, knowing exactly what Gwendolyn had been about to say.

  “It looks like you’re doing remarkably well without it,” said Gwendolyn. “Keep yourself out of trouble long enough, and I might even be proud of you, darling.”

  With a flick of her wand. Gwendolyn removed the dress she was wearing and put on another. This one was a salmon colored floaty silk confection.

  “I’d be prouder if you did try a little harder to bring out your magic, darling,” said Gwendolyn, grimacing as she smoothed the skirt over her hips. “A little washed out, I think.” With a wave of her wand she turned it a more vibrant color. “Much better!”

  “I can’t try to have magic, mum,” said Percy. “You either have it or you don’t. Don’t you think it is time we both accepted that?”

  “Never accept less than is your due,” said Gwendolyn. “You are a Prince after all.”

  Percy sighed, and decided to change the topic. “Where are you going again?”

  “Your Aunt Addy was looking a bit peaky at Halloween, I thought,” said Gwendolyn.

  “Really? I thought she looked fine.”

  “She’s wasting away at that terrible job of hers,” insisted Gwendolyn. “I’ve told her that I’ll take her somewhere hot and fabulous. Egypt first, then Mauritius, and maybe Cuba if she can get enough time off work. She wanted to go to Iceland of all places. It’s the werewolf in her, I suppose. But I’ve persuaded her out of it.”

  “That’s nice,” said Percy. “Though Jeeves is going to sulk for weeks. He always does when you’re gone.”

  Gwendolyn flicked her wand towards one of her open trunks. Her dress flew off and neatly folded itself away next to about a hundred other dresses.

  “I’ve told Jeeves that he can make lunch for me and Addy before we go,” said G
wendolyn. “Will you be joining us?”

  “Wait, what?” said Percy. “You mean you’re going today?”

  “No time like the present,” said Gwendolyn cheerily.

  “But you can’t go today,” said Percy. “Councilor Strickt from the Eldritch Council has demanded that we all go to his office this evening, remember? He wants to wrap up some details about the case.”

  “You can do that, dear,” said Gwendolyn. “I’m sure he’ll understand that I’m a busy woman. And anyway, I never did fully catch how you managed to arrange the whole thing so that your friend Felix and his vampire friend found us in the end.”

  “I put Octavia’s tracker coin inside George Sheedy’s pocket when we were at his apartment,” said Percy. “Octavia and Felix followed the Sheedys because Octavia was sure they’d lead her to the stolen wildmagic. And I knew the Sheedys would lead them right to us. So even if we couldn’t get ourselves out of trouble, then we would have Octavia and Felix as a backup plan.”

  “It was a terrible risk,” said Gwendolyn. “I would have much preferred if you had stayed away and let me handle her myself.”

  “But she had your wand, mum! I didn’t want you to get hurt.”

  “Juliet would never have dared harm me,” said Gwendolyn airily. “The silly woman. I’d have found a way to disarm her sooner or later.”

  “You never guessed that she was an evil criminal genius,” said Percy.

  “I’m not going to apologize for that, dear,” said Gwendolyn sharply. “One cannot live constantly mistrusting one’s friends. What kind of life would that be? A very boring joyless one.”

  “But she was going to kill us!”

  “She’d never have killed us,” said Gwendolyn dismissively. “She didn’t have it in her.”

  “She killed her husband Brad,” said Percy hotly.

  “But that was a completely different thing. It’s one thing to despise a husband for controlling you and cheating on you for years. It’s quite another to kill children and friends.”

  “She isn’t your friend.”

  “Not anymore,” agreed Gwendolyn cheerily.

  “I don’t think she ever was.”

 

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