Fragrant Cloud Mountain was a popular tourist destination on the outskirts of Provincial City. It boasted beautiful scenery and a comfortable climate.
The thirty tour buses brought a thousand Z University students into the parking lot of the campground.
The doors opened, and the students streamed out of the buses. They admired their surroundings and exclaimed happily.
Tang Hao followed Cao Fei and his other friends out of the bus and toward the service center of the campground.
According to the schedule, they would set up their tents before sightseeing.
Tents were available for rent on site.
The students queued up in front of the tent rental counter. About twenty minutes later, Tang Hao managed to obtain a tent. He followed Cao Fei and the others to find a suitable spot to set up camp.
In the meantime, he also met up with Liu Bingyao and the other girls.
Setting up a tent was too easy for Tang Hao. After he was done, he went to help the other girls.
After the setup was complete, the students went sightseeing.
It was May, and the peach trees that covered the mountain were in bloom.
Tang Hao and Liu Bingyao walked side by side along a path lined with peach trees.
Liu Bingyao’s smile was even more charming when complemented by the blooming flowers.
Everyone was enjoying themselves.
Somewhere else in the area, a group of people gathered in a dark corner.
The group consisted of some students, as well as several old men and women.
The students were, of course, Fang Qiming, Tang Bowen, and the others from the Student Council.
The old people dressed rather plainly and had silvery-white hair. They were natives who lived in the mountains.
Fang Qiming stood in front of the group. His head was lifted high, and he seemed agitated.
“Do you remember who ruined the reputation of the student council?
“It’s Tang Hao, that underhanded, despicable, shameless wimp!
“Do you remember that we swore revenge on him?
“Today is the perfect opportunity to take our revenge and ruin that bastard! Are you confident?”
“Yes!” The students shouted in reply, especially Tang Bowen, who looked like the most excited among all of them.
“Good!’ Fang Qiming nodded satisfactorily and continued, “Here, shouted with me. Vanquish Tang Hao!” He lifted his right arm and waved it around.
“Vanquish Tang Hao!” The students waved their right arms excitedly.
Meanwhile, the old people were standing there, confused about what was going on. One of them was picking his nose, and another was scratching her foot.
Fang Qiming turned to look at them. He furrowed his brows unhappily.
“You have to be more excited, Gramps. Shout with me. Vanquish Tang Hao!” Fang Qiming yelled at the old people.
“Vanquish Tang Hao!” The students echoed.
A beat later, the old people cheered weakly.
“Van… Vanquish… what’s his name again?” An old man said.
“It’s Tang Hao. Remember that, Gramps. It’s this guy!” Fang Qiming shoved him a photograph in the old man’s face.
“Oh! Van… Vanquish… Tang… Tang… Tang what?”
Fang Qiming rolled his eyes. He was losing his mind.
‘It’s just two words, dammit!’
“It’s Tang Hao! Tang… Hao. Remember that!” Fang Qiming took a deep breath to calm himself down. He said patiently.
“Oh! I know!” The old man nodded his head and shouted. “Van… Vanquish…”
He paused and looked at Fang Qiming with a vacant gaze. “What Hao?”
Fang Qiming rolled his eyes again. He was at his limit.
“It’s Tang… Hao! Tang Hao!” He repeated again.
“Oh! Vanquish Tang… Tang Hao!” The old man shouted weakly.
“Yes! That’s right! That’s the one!” Fang Qiming quickly said.
He got the old people to cheer a few more times, then retrieved some bottles filled with some flower tea.
That was the specialty of Fragrant Cloud Mountain.
“Remember, your mission is to look for Tang Hao and sell him this tea. Understand? Look carefully. These bottles are different from your usual packaging. There’s a chip in one corner. Remember, don’t sell this to anyone else,” Fang Qiming said.
“Oh…!” The old people replied weakly.
An old man stood up and said gallantly. “That’s not right, laddie. You’re hurting someone!”
Fang Qiming wanted to roll his eyes again.
‘Weren’t you very happy when you took money from me earlier? And now you’re worried about hurting someone?’
“But I don’t mind it if you give me some more money!” The old man chuckled and stretched out a hand.
Fang Qiming was speechless.
‘Dammit, you still want money? I gave you five hundred yuan each earlier. These country bumpkins are all scammers.’
“Here, take it!”
He took out a stack of banknotes and tossed it at the old people.
Soon after that, the old people scattered. Each of them carried a wicker basket full of flower tea bottles.
“This is such a good idea! The kid might be alert, but he won’t suspect that those old people are out to get him! Hahaha! This is the perfect plan!”
Fang Qiming said arrogantly.
“You’re smart, Council President!”
Tang Bowen and the others showered him with flattery.
“Let’s go and watch the drama!” Fang Qiming waved his arm and happily stepped away.
Tang Hao and his friends visited many scenery spots in an hour.
Eventually, they arrived at a temple.
“Let’s offer some incense!” Liu Bingyao cheerfully led Tang Hao into the temple. Both of them lit a stick of incense and offered it at the altar.
“My mom is a devout Buddhist. She often brings me to the local temple!” Liu Bingyao said as they stepped outside.
At the exit, they noticed a hunched old man who dressed plainly and carried a wicker basket. He was peddling flower tea as he walked along the path.
“Here, try this sweet flower tea! Only two yuan a bottle!”
The old man shouted with a hoarse voice.
“Let’s go buy some flower tea, Tang Hao! … Life must be hard for the old man,” Liu Bingyao said as she pulled Tang Hao over.
Tang Hao nodded and followed her there.
“Good day to you, Grandpa. Each bottle is two yuan, right? Give us two bottles!”
Liu Bingyao opened her purse, took out four coins, and handed them to the old man.
The old man lifted his head and peered at the couple. His eyes remained on Tang Hao’s face for a while. He nodded, took out two bottles of flower tea from his basket, and handed them over.
Chapter 437 - : Seeing Red
“Thank you!” Liu Bingyao said as she took the bottles from the old man.
She handed Tang Hao one bottle. Then, she opened her bottle and brought it to her mouth.
“Wait!” Tang Hao suddenly shouted.
“What’s wrong?” Liu Bingyao was surprised.
Tang Hao took her bottle, placed it under his nose, and sniffed it. He furrowed his brows.
‘There’s no problem!’
He opened his bottle and sniffed it.
‘There’s no problem either! Looks like I’ve been too cautious!’ Tang Hao thought as he casually glanced at a particular spot some distance away.
A group of people was hiding there, observing the couple. They were Fang Qiming’s gang, which also included his cousin brother Tang Bowen.
Tang Hao had spotted the group earlier. He guessed that they must be hiding there for some nefarious motive, which was why he suspected that there was something wrong with the flower tea.
However, he did not seem to detect anything wrong with it.
“It’s nothing. I was just c
oncerned that it might have gone sour,” Tang Hao said.
“Oh!” Liu Bingyao took a sip. “This is delicious! It’s so sweet.”
Tang Hao took a sip and found that it was indeed quite delicious.
Meanwhile, Fang Qiming and his gang were reeling from the false alarm.
They thought that they were found out when Tang Hao sniffed Liu Bingyao’s bottle.
Fang Qiming could not hide the excitement on his face.
“Hahaha! This kid is finished! He’s fallen into my trap! I’ve placed a super potent laxative inside the flower tea. As long as he takes a sip, he’ll suffer from unstoppable diarrhea until his rectum prolapses!”
“You’re so smart, Council President!” Tang Bowen and the others showered him with flattery again.
“Haha! Only I can think up such a perfect plan,” Fang Qiming said smugly.
“The old guy also handed a bottle to the beauty queen, right?” Someone said.
Everyone was stunned.
Fang Qiming was also stunned. He came to his senses, and his expression sank. “So what if she drank it too? That filthy b*tch deserves it for rejecting me!”
The other people did not say anything else. They turned around and looked at the couple, waiting for the laxative to take effect.
One minute passed, and another…
Five minutes passed. The two people were still standing at the temple as though nothing happened.
They had finished the two bottles of flower tea.
They looked at each other.
“What’s… what’s going on? It’s been five minutes, and nothing’s happened yet?” Fang Qiming was incredulous.
‘This shouldn’t be!
‘The two had finished the two bottles of tea. They should have been sh*tting their pants off by now! But they seem just fine.’
“Did that old man mistakenly give them the wrong bottles?” Someone said.
“That’s impossible! How can he mess up something so simple?” Fang Qiming’s face was ashen.
‘Dammit, the old man must have made a mistake! He wasted the perfect opportunity!’
He angrily walked over and pulled the old man over. “Dammit, Gramps, are you an idiot? Can’t you do something so simple?
“Listen carefully, you useless piece of trash. You should’ve given him the bottle with the chipped corner! You must’ve given him the wrong one!”
The old man stood there wordlessly, as though his mind was blank.
Fang Qiming had nowhere to release his anger.
“I say, do you understand? What an idiot! You took my money, but you didn’t do as I say. I’ll whoop your *ss!”
The old man said nothing.
“F*ck your mother!”
Fang Qiming was more furious than ever. “Get out of my sight now. Quickly go and sell them two more bottles. I’ll whoop your *ss if you get it wrong again!”
He shoved the old man away.
The old man started walking away when Fang Qiming yelled, “Wait, come here. Give me a good bottle. I’m a little thirsty.”
“I want one too!” Tang Bowen and the others also yelled.
The old man stopped walking. He turned around and handed each of them a bottle of flower tea.
Fang Qiming and the others took the bottles and inspected them carefully. Only then, they twisted the bottles open and gulped down the tea.
“This… is actually quite delicious!” After Fang Qiming finished drinking it, he tossed the bottle on the ground and wiped his mouth.
He became impatient when he saw the old man still standing there. “Why are you still here? Get lost from my sight at this instant. You country bumpkins disgust me.”
The old man continued standing there as though he did not hear anything.
Fang Qiming was angrier than ever. He wanted to step forward to reprimand the old man when he felt a rumble in his stomach.
His face turned ashen at that instant.
He could feel his stomach churn before he felt a piercing pain. Very soon, he strongly felt the urge to void his bowels. He almost could not hold it back.
He stood on tiptoe and covered his butt with one hand.
“How could this be?” He could not believe it. The bottle that he drank from earlier did not have a chipped corner.
Poot! Poot!
Tang Bowen and the others also had weird expressions on their faces. They had one hand on their butts as well.
The stink of farts wafted from their butts like a dense, moist fog.
They were shocked and angry.
The old man grinned and started laughing loudly.
“You… It’s you… you bastard!” Fang Qiming immediately understood when he saw the old man’s face. The old man had set them up.
“Of course it’s me!” The old man smirked. “Weren’t you behaving all high and mighty earlier? How dare you speak to me like that, you whelp? I’ll teach you a lesson!”
“You… You… You old bastard! How dare you prank me? Give me my money back. Otherwise, I’ll call the police to arrest you!” Fang Qiming was going crazy.
He could not believe that he was pranked by an old man from a mountain village.
“Go and call the police then! I’ll tell them all about your dastardly plan!” The old man said coldly, “And you call yourselves the student council? You’re just a bunch of petty idiots. The two are good kids. They don’t deserve to be pranked!”
“You…” Fang Qiming almost stamped his feet. However, what the old man said was true. He could not call the police.
“You took my money!” He roared. His face was almost twisted out of rage.
“So what if I did? You offered me the money anyway!” The old man glared at them. He sounded like a hooligan.
“You… I’ll beat you up!”
“I’ll just curl up on the ground then! It’s your word against my word when the police are involved. You’ll owe me millions in medical fees!” The old man prepared to lie down on the ground.
Fang Qiming had no reply to that.
‘Dammit! He’s not an idiot at all. He’s a crafty old fox!’
“Why, you’re not hitting me? I’ll be going off then! Hmph… all of you are little idiots!”
The old man glanced at them condescendingly, then turned around and left with his wicker basket.
Fang Qiming clutched his chest. He was about to blow his top.
He had been pranked by an old villager. How could he get even?
However, he had no time to think of that. His sphincter was about to give way. Very soon, he would need to release the brown torrent.
“Toilet! Where’s the toilet?”
The people rushed toward the temple to look for a toilet, farting all the way.
Chapter 438 - Mommy, I Wanna Go Home
Translator: EndlessFantasy Translation Editor: EndlessFantasy Translation
“Ah, this sucks!”
Under the sunset, Fang Qiming leaned against the temple wall with a cigarette in his hand.
His face was pale and his eyes were sunken. His legs were still shaking. The fingers on his left hand that held the cigarette were shaking, too. He had never felt so dejected before.
His butt felt as though it had been ripped apart. The agonizing pain caused his facial muscles to twitch occasionally.
His legs had turned into jelly after spending the entire afternoon on the toilet.
“Ah, this feeling sucks, no, I mean, it hurts!”
Tang Bowen crouched next to him. He dragged his cigarette and spewed a cloud of white smoke.
His eyes were also sunken and his face was also pale.
The cigarette granted him a temporary escape from reality. He felt as though he was floating.
At least that made his butt hurt a little less.
However, if he moved even just a little, his butt would deliver excruciating waves of pain.
He had finally realized what it meant to be a literal pain in the *ss.
Next to the two people were th
e rest of Fang Qiming’s gang, crouching in one line and smoking to drive away the melancholy.
“Dammit, how could that guy be so lucky?” Fang Qiming cursed angrily.
The plan should have been perfect, but that stupid old man had turned it on him.
“That kid is uncanny!” Another person lamented.
“That’s right. He seems untouchable!” Someone agreed.
“Nonsense! I don’t believe that I can’t do anything to him!” Fang Qiming stood up abruptly and threw away the cigarette butt. He seemed indignant.
“Ow!” He clutched his butt. His face was twisted from the pain.
“Dammit, it’s all because of that kid! If not for him, we won’t be in this sorry state!” Fang Qiming said resentfully.
“Cheer up, everyone. That was only Plan A. We still have Plan B, C, and so on. We’ll prank that kid for sure.”
He slowly limped toward the sunset.
Tang Bowen and the others looked at each other and followed behind.
Their gait was rather peculiar, which made everyone curious about what happened to them.
Plan B: Wreck that guy’s tent. Splash dirty water on the blankets.
Result: “Tang Hao, how about… you sleep in my tent tonight?” The beauty queen said, “I’m alone in my big tent. You can go rent another mattress and blanket.”
The Mightiest Little Peasant c1-799 Page 195