by Vivian Arend
“It really has,” Julia agreed thoughtfully. “I’ll admit today was the first day I’ve finally felt as if I was able to take a deep breath after racing through the past week and a half.” She tilted her head and looked up at him, sliding one hand to brush her palm over the scruff on his chin and cheeks. “You are a very complicated individual, Zachary Beauregard Damien Sorenson.”
He was about to deny it, but then remembered something from the years of watching his father the inventor. “Sometimes the simplest solution comes once you’ve removed all the complicated setup beneath the surface. I’m pretty much a what you see is what you get kinda guy, but I’ve learned a lot over the years to get to be at the point where I’ve peeled away what’s not important to me.”
“And taking our time is important?”
Another shrug. “It’s more that we’re important. What we need to make it through, here and now, isn’t what we’ll need next week, or next month, etcetera. No use rushing.”
Julia stayed silent until her head rocked the slightest bit, as if she’d thought it through and was willing to acknowledge the truth.
She fell asleep in his arms not even five minutes later. A bundle of warmth and soft, feminine skin, the scent of her filling his nostrils. The feel of her in his arms soaked into his very core and changed him from the inside out.
That sensation in his gut that had told him this mix-up between them was right kept getting more and more certain.
He would build the foundation they needed, beginning with unlimited hugs and unlimited kisses plus whatever she asked for that would make them strong.
George Coleman took off in the morning with only a few comments that could be construed as warnings. Julia missed most of them in the busyness of greeting Karen and Finn, who had come over to send off the older man.
Finn folded his arms over his chest as his father-in-law disappeared down the highway. Their father-in-law, Zach corrected himself.
“What’re your plans for the week?” Finn asked.
Zach tilted his head toward where Karen and Julia were slipping into the nearest arena. A half dozen horses came forward, including Karen’s rescued wild foal, Moonbeam.
Zach and Finn moved to join them. “Julia’s shifts this week are Wednesday through Saturday. I figured I’d help with whatever you need around here during that time. Sunday, I’m taking her on a road trip to Nelson.”
“She know that yet?”
“Nope,” Zach confessed.
His best friend snickered before wiping at his mouth to hide his amusement. “Bit of advice. You might want to start involving Julia in your planning a little more. The whole fly by the seat of your pants thing you do is entertaining, but at some point, it’s going to bite you.”
Possibly. “Not all of us run our lives by having three layers deep of plans ready to implement.”
“Nope,” Finn echoed his word from moments earlier. He paused beside the gate before opening it to let Zach in. “You think Julia is more like me or more like you in this area?”
Drat. “I hate it when you’re right,” Zach complained.
As they joined the girls, it was clear that Karen had overheard his last comment. “Is Finn giving you advice?”
“Always,” Zach said dryly. “Good thing I only occasionally need to listen.”
Julia laughed, the sound turning into a squeal as Moonbeam put his nose in the middle of her back and pushed.
A moment later, she was in Zach’s arms, pressed against his body as he caught her safely against him.
Julia draped her arms around him instinctively, and it felt easy to have her smiling up at him, amusement on her face and gratitude on her lips. “Thanks for catching me.”
“No problem,” he returned. “So, about this coming week…”
“Julia. Wait up.”
She’d hit the time clock at the end of her final night shift and was now looking forward to a glorious four days in a row off that Zach had promised would involve good food, good beer, and a chance to fool around in private.
Getting home as soon as possible to start the madcap adventure was high on her priority list.
Still, she twisted back toward the fire hall and waited as Brad left his truck and made his way toward her. “Hey. Good morning. Didn’t expect to see you before I headed home.”
He stopped beside her car. “I came in early. Need to update you on something.”
Julia hesitated. “Is there a problem?”
Brad made a face. “Not with your work or your internship. And congrats, by the way, on getting hired out at Red Boot ranch once you’re done here. I’m only sorry we couldn’t hire you on full-time past October.”
“Thanks. I have to admit I’m pretty excited about the job. If I can’t work for you, working at a dude ranch is pretty much my dream job.”
He nodded, but concern had drifted in. “I know you’re headed off for the next few days. Debated whether I should mention this now, but you have a right to know. Dwayne has been released from his halfway house.”
An icy chill swept over her even though she’d known this was coming. The reaction was even more annoying because she truly wasn’t worried about him coming after her or anything.
Her kidnapper clearly had mental issues, so instead of being incarcerated in the regular prison system, he’d rightly received therapy and guidance while being in custody. “That’s right. I didn’t have it on my calendar or anything, but I knew it was sometime soon.”
She could tell from how closely Brad was watching her reaction that he hadn’t been happy to share the update. Julia kept her spine straight and her expression as neutral as possible.
“The restraining order is still in place, so you should have nothing to worry about.” Brad hesitated for a moment then sighed heavily. “He got in touch with me.”
“What?” The word came out a whole lot sharper than intended. “Why would he do that? What did he want?”
Brad made a face. “He apologized to me again. Said that he’d tried to apologize to you, but you’d never responded.”
“Because I didn’t have to. It’s not my job to try and make him feel better,” Julia snapped before taking a deep breath. “Sorry, not your fault.”
“No, I’m glad you said that,” Brad insisted. “Even better, I’m glad you feel that way.”
“Lots of therapy,” Julia admitted dryly. “Tony finally got through to me that I don’t have to forgive Dwayne for what he did to me.”
“Good.” Brad said it very decisively. He cleared his throat, slightly embarrassed. “I told him off. Also told him if he ever tried to make contact with you again, through me or any other source, there would be dire consequences.”
Julia caught herself before she gave Brad a hug and nodded instead. “Thanks.”
“You have a good getaway, and if you need anything, give me a shout.” He made as if to turn away then stopped, meeting her gaze straight on. “You’ll tell Zach about this, right?”
She opened her mouth to assure him she’d be all right and didn’t need anyone babysitting her, when she realized she’d already planned on spilling her frustration on Zach as soon as possible.
That truth felt very strange.
She dipped her chin. “Don’t worry. Zach’s got my back.”
“I’m glad.” Brad offered a quick farewell wave before making his way into the fire hall.
The ride back to Red Boot ranch passed quickly enough as confusing thoughts and memories tangled together in Julia’s brain. She slid into the cottage, prepping for bed and the nap she needed before she and Zach took off that afternoon as planned.
She’d gone back to sleeping in the guest room after her father had left. It had felt right to take that step of slowing down seriously. Plus, with Zach’s plans to take them out of town for a getaway, she figured the fooling around part was coming soon enough.
Falling asleep as the morning progressed just got harder and harder, but at some point, she must have closed her eyes f
or long enough to ignore the tumbling memories, because suddenly she heard her name being repeated loudly.
“Julia. Wake up,” Zach said, worry in his tone.
She shot upright in her bed, twisting toward his voice. Her heart pounded, and she stuck to the sheets as if she’d been sweating profusely.
She could still feel the heavy weight of being trapped. The icy cold of water dragging her down.
“Nightmare.” The word whispered past her lips. “Zach?”
The bed tipped slightly as he sat beside her. “Right here, sugar.”
A moment later, she’d latched onto him, curled up in his lap, arms knotted around his waist.
He held on tight, rubbing her back. Whispering soothing words. Her shaking slowed, until she finally got to the point she could take a deep breath and let it out in teeny increments.
Zach’s lips pressed against her temple. “There we go. That’s better.”
She leaned back far enough to look into his face. “I fucking hate that nightmare.”
“I know you do.”
He didn’t offer any pat words about how she’d get better someday. Or about how much better she was now than before. Which was good, because while she did feel so much stronger about her current reactions to the whole kidnapping situation, nightmares aside, Tony had been clear—the goal was not to be over it.
There were some things a person just never got over.
She managed a smile, patting Zach on the cheek. “I need a shower, and then I’ll be ready to head out.”
“Okay.” Zach backed up slightly. “You need anything? Want me to pack a picnic lunch for when we’re in the car?”
“You’d let me eat in Delilah?” Julia put as much astonishment into her tone as possible.
“Sure. What’s a few crumbs between friends?” He paused. “I’m bringing the dustbuster. You can use it when you’re done.”
Julia giggled her way into the shower, totally distracted, just as Zach had intended.
The road trip between Heart Falls and Nelson took a total of four hours driving. It had been cool enough that Zach left the top up. Julia used Bluetooth to hook up her music list to the stereo, and time flew.
Once again conversation was easy. Zach had a list of great topics he introduced every time there was a lull, but it wasn’t needed very often. They pretty much flowed naturally from one conversation to the next, words sometimes running on top of each other as each story they shared reminded the other person of something else they wanted to talk about.
The only thing Julia didn’t bring up was the information Brad had shared that morning.
It wasn’t that she was trying to avoid the discussion, but the story wasn’t something she wanted to share with Zach while he was driving.
And then the closer they got to their destination, the less she felt as if she should bring up a big topic before what was supposed to be a fun and easy getaway.
The twisting road they’d been on for the last hour and a half unexpectedly opened into a wide parking space at the edge of an enormous lake.
Julia leaned forward with interest. “Where’s the road?”
“We take a ferry at this point. There’s another route to Nelson that goes over the pass, but I thought you’d enjoy going this direction first.”
“Cool. How long is the ride?” Julia peered out the window toward the lake. “Ohhh. Is that the ferry there?”
Zach put Delilah into park, gesturing across the smooth surface of the water to where a strangely shaped barge approached slowly. “That’s it. It’s only a forty-five minute ride once we’re on board. It’s not like the massive ferries that go out to Vancouver Island, just a basic transport vehicle. We drive on board, then you can either sit in your car or walk to one of the observation decks.”
Fifteen minutes later they were on the wide, flat-decked boat.
Zach caught her by the hand and tugged her toward the stairwell. “Come on. I’ll show you my favourite view.”
He led her to an area on the second floor with sturdy seating that let them stare out over the wide expanse of Kootenay Lake as the engines rumbled and steadily pushed them across to the other side.
The wind was crisp. Julia stared at the mountains rising all around the lake, some of them tipped with white. “It’s colder here than in Heart Falls.”
“There are glaciers in the area. The wind sweeping over them means the breezes are always crisp.” He wrapped an arm around her, snuggling close to protect her with his body.
A forty-five-minute ride. Julia watched the water stream out in expanding waves behind the ship and considered her options. She didn’t want to put a damper on his outing, not considering how excited Zach was about getting away.
But he’d said to be honest, and he’d said she should do what would make her happy, and while talking about the past wouldn’t make her happy, per say, it would be good to get it out in the open.
Julia twisted toward him, sliding back far enough to grab his hands and meet his gaze straight on. “I have something I need to tell you.”
His head tilted slightly, but he stayed silent.
“Just so you know, the reason I’m telling you this isn’t because it’s big and scary, or because it changes anything about what we’re doing the next couple of days. We’re going to Nelson to do research for your future brew thing magic. I still want to do that. That’s important to me.”
His grin wasn’t quite as solid anymore. “Jules, if this opener is meant to be reassuring? You’re missing the mark.”
“Dammit. It’s just… Brad told me this morning that the guy who kidnapped me got released. I knew it was coming, but I had kind of deliberately forgotten. It’s not freaking me out, and I’m not worried about him, but I realized I needed to say something to you because—well, I think you need to know.”
Zach nodded slowly. “That’s why you were having a nightmare, wasn’t it?”
Julia let out a huff of air. “Yeah. Someday I’ll be able to mention what happened, or have somebody else bring it up, without having that reaction. But for now, Tony says physical manifestations to triggers are one of the things our brains do while dealing with unhappy memories. But since it’s not hurting me, other than being a pain in the ass, I shouldn’t worry about it.”
“Okay.” Zach looked a little uncomfortable. “I mean, okay, I hear you, but there’s a part of me that’s not okay with you having nightmares.”
He was such a sweetie.
Julia cupped his face with her palms. “I know. But you were good help today, waking me up.”
She pressed a quick kiss against his lips, partly to give her a moment to gather her thoughts before she sat back. The water around them reflected blue sky with white clouds. No one else was sitting outside, leaving them with more than enough privacy.
Also, telling Zach what had happened while here on the ferry meant she could talk about it and then walk away, which she really liked.
“It’s not that long of a story. EMT training—I stayed on campus, and as usual, there was a group of us that kind of hung out together. I didn’t date anybody. It was overwhelming enough to deal with school, living in a new city, and not being at home with Mom for the first time.”
She adjusted the grip between their hands, Zach’s big fingers giving her something solid to hang on to.
“We did lots in groups. Fun activities like movie nights, plus school activities that involved group projects. Dwayne and I were assigned into a group of four where one of our teammates quit and the other got sick. The two of us worked really hard to get everything accomplished without them. I was really proud that we handed in the assignment on time.”
“Only Dwayne thought that you were more than just classmates?”
Julia shook her head. “That’s the weird part. It wasn’t about us being together, like romantically involved. Dwayne had some undiagnosed mental problems, and for some reason, he got it into his head that I was in danger.”
Zach’s hand sque
ezed around hers briefly. “Okay.”
“He thought the other two people on our project had vanished because somebody had taken them out. He started talking about how we needed to be careful and stay safe.”
She’d thought back over that time so often, she sometimes wondered where her memories failed and if she might have invented things to explain what had happened. It wasn’t her fault for not having recognized that Dwayne’s mental illness had flared to the danger level, but there were times she still wished she would’ve been able to do more.
“I tried to convince him that was just his imagination, and I thought I’d gotten through. I came out from buying groceries, and he was there. He offered me a ride home, which of course I took.”
A soft swear word escaped Zach’s lips. “He didn’t take you home.”
“Nope. He insisted he needed to keep me safe, so he took me to a cabin with a boathouse out on a nearby lake. I figured out pretty fast Dwayne wasn’t thinking straight at that moment, but he was bigger than me, and stronger, and even though I tried to get away, I ended up tied to a chair.”
An instant later, Julia was lifted off the bench and resettled in Zach’s lap. He squeezed her tight, head buried against her neck, damn near vibrating under her fingers.
“Sorry. Give me a minute.” His words came out tight and clipped.
She wasn’t sure if patting Zach on the back was appropriate, so she just held on. She’d told the story a number of times now, but this was the first time anyone had reacted like this.
As if he’d been there the entire time and was even now experiencing exactly what she’d gone through.
17
Fury whipped through his veins even as Zach fought to control his anger. Losing his shit was not what Julia needed.
He was so damn proud she’d been willing to open up about this to him, which made his reaction that much more important. She did not need to know that right now, if he had Dwayne in front of him, he’d slowly turn the other man inside out.
It wasn’t possessiveness. It wasn’t because he thought Julia hadn’t been able to take care of herself or that she hadn’t done an amazing job of moving beyond what had happened to her.