Zoe complied, but hopelessness had set in. She’d been sending her intentions out into the universe for God only knows how long. She released a tight breath. What would it hurt?
“Hail to the Guardians of the watchtower!” Harmony began.
Zoe cracked open an eye. This was from The Craft. One hell of a teenage witch movie, for sure. She’d watched it with Sam and freaked out at the snake and insect parts.
Harmony raised her hands in the air. “We ask that you heal Sam and Zoe’s relationship and bring light where there is darkness, bring honesty where there is deceit, bring trust where there is mistrust.”
Zoe waited. In the movie, shit started blowing everywhere, but all she felt was the gentle slide of something rubbing against the side of her leg.
“Zoe, hun,” Candy Cobbledick said softly.
“Hmm?” Zoe asked, eyes closed.
“Don’t you move a muscle. Stay really still.”
“Why?” Zoe asked as the gentle rubbing sensation disappeared.
“Okay, you’re good. I couldn’t tell if it was poisonous or not from where I’m sitting.”
Zoe’s eyes popped open, and she jumped up. “If what was poisonous?”
“Just that little snake making its way past you into that clump of earth.”
Zoe started rubbing at her leg frantically. Christ on a cracker! That’s what she got for playing around with witchcraft. She’d watched The Craft a bazillion times. You did not mess with the corners.
Harmony patted her back. “Zoe, you’re fine. Nature has her way of communing with us.”
Zoe jumped around, slapping at her extremities. “Next time you’re communing with nature, Harmony, ask them to send a bunny or bird. I’ve been afraid of snakes since I was a girl.”
Harmony gave her one last pat then turned to the group. “All right, ladies, it’s getting late. Let’s finish our meditation time with a walk around the farm. This will be good for you, Zoe. It will help drain all that yellow from your aura.”
“Intelligence? Like Sam has?” she asked. She’d stopped jumping and switched to scanning the clearing for any other slithering harbingers of nature.
“No, no, your aura is bright yellow. That’s fear of losing control.”
“Oh,” she answered, grabbing her yoga mat and joining the others to stroll the dirt paths. Things with Sam may be out of control, but a walk would help her gain control over her real objective for coming here: learn about the girls’ detention facility.
The retreat was situated on a two-thousand-acre farm. On their walk out to the clearing in the sunflower field this morning, they’d passed several smaller buildings. In the distance, she’d seen a greenhouse with newspaper covering all the windows, a silo, a few barns, and a stable. But she hadn’t seen any animals. The girls’ detention center was due east of them. If her satellite map program was correct, the facility should be just past a few small retaining ponds and another large sunflower field. There looked to be a fence, but she couldn’t tell much about it from the satellite image.
Marta, Leanne, and Candy walked ahead, but Zoe hung back with Harmony to do a little digging.
“Have you and Bud been here long?” she asked, shaking off the snake encounter and switching into reporter mode.
The woman clasped her hands in front of her. “A little over a year now. We go where the wind and opportunity take us.”
Zoe glanced around. “Not much out here. Just your farm and that prison, right?”
Harmony bristled. “It’s not a prison. It’s a juvenile rehabilitation center for girls. There’s no threat of any dangerous criminals in the area.”
Zoe nodded. Harmony knew a thing or two about her neighbors. She needed to keep digging. “Have you ever had any girls come on to your property?”
“Like they’re trying to escape or run away?” Harmony asked, a thread of incredulity in her tone.
“Sure, I wouldn’t put it past a troubled teen,” Zoe offered, seeing if Harmony would bite.
“No, we have nothing to do with them. They stay on their side of the fence, and we stay on ours. Yin and yang,” Harmony added, rings clicking as she gestured back and forth.
Zoe glanced around. The farm had a network of walking paths that didn’t seem quite farm-like. She pressed Harmony on it. “And why all the trails?”
“Bud and I like to incorporate plenty of walking and hiking into the retreat experience.”
Zoe was striking out, but the gut feeling she had when she was working a story said there was something here. She just couldn’t put her finger on what that was. She tried again. “The greenhouse must be nice to have in the winter. Why would you need to cover the windows with paper?”
Harmony didn’t answer and quickened her step.
Zoe met her pace. “I was also wondering—”
“Zoe, slow down,” Harmony said, narrowing her gaze through her rose-colored glasses. “Let the land and the air balance you. Find a quiet place.”
Zoe shut her mouth and nodded. That sounded like something her mother would say. Harmony caught up to the other women, but Zoe lagged behind. She stared at the path on the lookout for slithering creatures when a twisted piece of braided tissue caught her eye. She picked it up. Someone had fashioned what looked like a bracelet out of toilet paper, and something was written on one of the twisted sheets. Zoe gently unwrapped the paper to reveal five letters: L, A, N, E, Y.
Laney
“Are you coming, Zoe?” Candy called, waving her over.
Zoe gazed down at the bit of twisted paper. Something seemed important about that makeshift piece of jewelry. Care had been put into twisting and braiding. She looked up to find Candy standing in front of her with a gentle smile.
“Yeah, I’m coming,” Zoe said and tucked the bracelet into the waistband of her yoga pants.
“All right, men! I think this is a good spot.”
Sam slowed his pace. The last few hours of man time had included whittling wood, chopping wood, and then stacking wood. He wasn’t quite sure if all this wood activity was supposed to have any correlation with morning wood, but he was grateful for the distraction. He’d spent much of the morning and now the afternoon listening as the men shared their reasons for coming to the retreat. Once you sifted through all the bullshit, it boiled down more or less to one thing.
John Payne wanted more sex.
Lee Morehead wanted more sex.
And Stu Cobbledick…yep, more sex.
Men aren’t all that complicated.
After Wood Skills 101, they’d hiked quite a ways on the property past a few fields and headed toward a serene looking pond. Stepping over brush and branches to get down to the bank, Sam followed the men at the rear of the pack. It was a warm day. Autumn could be like that in Kansas. A chill to the air one day, the next, seventy-five and sunny. He rolled up his sleeves, exposing the tattoos on his muscled forearms. He gazed down at the swirling black ink and the image of a studded combat boot. Zoe’s boot. The ink had started as a ritual to remember his travels. But after Kara and his unborn child’s death, his longing for a piece of home and a part of Zoe had bled into the designs. Subtle cursive Z’s weaved into the patterns, holding each element together.
His chest tightened. Zoe was the glue that held everyone together. Their friends. Their family. Their town. Her heart had enough love for all of it—and he was about to lose her, about to drive her away. He swallowed past the lump in his throat.
He didn’t have a choice.
Bud stopped near the edge of the water and raised his hands to the sky. “It’s a glorious day, fellas. It’s the perfect time to practice the important art of building trust.” The man turned to him. “Sam, you’ve been awfully quiet. Stu, Lee, and John have shared quite a bit, but we’ve barely heard from you. After last night, and Zoe leaving the table during the grounding exercise, I wanted to give you a chance to talk.” Bud gestured to the pond. “Let the water soothe your soul. Release the burdens you’re carrying and share with the g
roup.”
Sam paced back and forth and ran his hands through his hair.
“I bet I know,” Stu Cobbledick offered. “Zoe wants to wear a strap-on, and you don’t think you’re into it. But I’ve got to tell you, from my experience—”
Sam raised his hands. “Stu, I’m going to stop you right there. It’s a little more complicated than that.”
Stu scratched his head as if nothing could be more complicated than a strap-on conundrum.
“She wants sex in the morning, and you want it morning, noon, and night?” Lee Morehead pressed.
Sam shook his head. Lee wasn’t wrong. He’d wanted Zoe for years, fucking years. He’d replayed the memory of their two days together so many times, grooves must have been worn into the memory synapses in his brain. And as the years passed, she only grew more beautiful, more independent, more sassy, more snarky. More Zoe.
He stared at the water, and he was back with her at Lake Boley. Lips pressed to hers beneath the water’s surface. Hands gripping her waist, pulling her flush against him. Those perfect, wet breasts pressed to his chest. And that feeling—it was beyond just sexual desire. It was like finding a secret place. A place where only the two of them existed. It was heaven on earth, and he’d fucked it up.
He closed his eyes. “I’ve hurt Zoe. I’ve hurt a lot of people by my actions. It’s come to a head recently, and now I think I’ve lost her forever. She’s going to leave.”
John Payne put a hand on his shoulder. “Why can’t you just tell her what she wants to know?”
“I think it would hurt her more,” he answered, but the response felt stale.
“You think it would hurt more than losing what the two of you have together?” Bud asked.
“I think if she knew the truth, that would also drive her away. I lose no matter what. At least I’ve gotten to keep her close to me for this long.”
“I don’t think you’re giving Zoe enough credit,” Stu said.
Sam’s body stiffened. “What do you mean? All I’ve ever wanted to do was protect her happiness.”
John pointed at him. “What if you’re her happiness? What if you’re protecting yourself from her reaction? What if this isn’t about Zoe at all?”
Sam crossed his arms. “I’m done sharing. I appreciate what you guys are trying to do. I just don’t think it will work for Zoe and me.”
Bud nodded. “Thank you for sharing, Sam. You may not be ready to take the leap and tell Zoe your secret now, but you never know what the universe has in store.”
Sam released a tight breath. He knew exactly what the universe had in store for people like him. Nothing. Unlike his friends and family who’d found love, he’d always be that guy in the background, pouring drinks and telling jokes.
A beat passed, and then Bud gestured for the group to come together. “All right, men! Now, we disrobe.”
Sam’s eyes went wide. What was up with this place and naked?
“Disrobe?” John Payne echoed, shifting from side to side.
Bud, again wearing his 100% Hemp T-shirt, whipped the garment over his head and threw it onto a protruding tree branch. “Absolutely! We’ve bared our souls. Now we’re going to commune with nature as men!”
Sam stood there, frozen. Surely, none of the guys were going to go for this. But as soon as the thought crossed his mind, Stu Cobbledick and Lee Morehead dropped trow.
Jesus! They were doing this.
John Payne’s gaze danced nervously between the stripping men. “Can I keep my boxers on?”
Bud flung his tighty whities onto the tree branch with the rest of his clothes. “Of course! Whatever you’re comfortable with.”
John met his gaze. “Sam, help me out.”
Fuck! Something about his size seemed to make the smaller guys, the nerdy guys, cozy up to him. Not in any kind of sexual way, but it was as if they knew he’d fight off any bully who gave them trouble. That’s who he’d been all through school and the trait still resonated.
Sam dropped his chin to his chest. “Yeah, dude, I’ll keep my underwear on, too.”
He undressed and looked around the group, careful to keep his gaze above the navel. He wasn’t one to judge, but after hearing some of the stories Stu had shared about the Cobbledick’s sexual predilections, he was surprised the guy’s cock was still attached and in working order.
Bud clapped his hands. “Men, this is an exercise in trust. We’re going to take turns falling. You’re going to completely let go and trust that we, your fellow naked men, will catch you. You’ll have to give up control and believe that we have what it takes not to let you hit the ground.”
Sam glanced around the group. Lee Morehead was a decent sized guy, and he still had at least four inches and forty pounds on the man. Next, he checked the ground. Leaves littered the bank. When he hit the dirt—something he was pretty damn sure was going to happen when it came to his turn—it shouldn’t be too bad.
One by one, the men took turns falling. Pretty standard team-building stuff, minus the exposed dicks. When it got to John Payne’s turn, the man looked ready to vomit.
“Don’t worry, John. We’ll catch you,” Bud assured him.
Sam nodded. “Yeah, you’re good, buddy.”
John went another shade paler. “I can’t hurt my hands. That’s my livelihood. A dentist can’t just tell somebody how to do a root canal on themselves. I can’t walk you through the correct way to make an impression for a crown.”
Lee Morehead rolled his eyes. “We get it. Watch the hands.”
John climbed up the bank to the spot where Lee, Stu, and Bud had launched themselves.
“Remember, John,” Bud began. “You’re going to take this trust and apply it to your marriage. It will help usher in openness and a new understanding of your relationship with your wife.”
John stared at the man with a blank expression.
“It should also get you more sex,” Bud added.
John nodded then glanced his way.
Sam gave him an encouraging smile. “You’ll be fine, John. Harness your energy.” Fuck! He didn’t know what to say. He sure as shit was no expert on trust.
John turned his back to the group.
“I’ll count you down, John,” Bud said.
The man nodded.
“Three, two—”
But before Bud got to one, a jittery John threw himself backward, then twisted in midair. The other men stepped out of the way of the now flailing man, but Sam stayed put. Arms out and trying to gauge how this crazy fucker was going to fall, he caught the man by one leg and one arm. They went careening into the side of the bank when something sharp cut into his ass.
“Fucking hell!” he yelled, coming to his feet.
John scrambled up. He moved his hands, testing each digit. “I’m fine! My hands are fine.”
“I’m glad your hands are fine. Lucky for you my ass took the brunt of your fall,” he said, then froze as a copper-colored snake with a tan body reared back to strike again.
“Holy fuck!” He jumped out of the way. “Did that thing bite me?”
Stu Cobbledick’s eyes lit up. “It most certainly did. May I get a closer look?”
“My ass? You want a closer look at my ass?”
“Yes, that’s what I do,” Stu added.
“You’re a proctologist?” Lee Morehead asked.
Stu shook his head. “No, I’m a herpetologist.”
“This isn’t herpes, dude. I think I just got bit by a copperhead,” Sam said. Those little bastards were dangerous.
“Yeah, you did. Copper-colored, triangular head. Cat-shaped eyes. Hourglass crossbands running along the body. The copperhead is quite common in eastern Kansas,” Stu commented as cool as a cucumber.
Sam tried to stay calm. “Those bastards are venomous, right?”
Stu nodded. “They certainly are.”
John Payne frowned. “So, you’re a proctologist, but you know a lot about snakes?”
“No, I’m a herpetologist. S
o is Candy. We study reptiles and amphibians. Currently, we’re investigating the environmental factors that may be impacting copperhead mating rituals. You see, during reproduction, the males become quite aggressive. Even the females get into it and try to fight a male wanting to reproduce. Here’s an interesting tidbit. A female copperhead will always reject a male who backs down from a fight with her.”
“Here’s another interesting tidbit,” Sam interjected, his panic level ratcheting up a notch. “That venomous, little fucker just bit me!”
Stu grinned. “Of course, the copperhead attacked you. They’re like rattlesnakes in that they have heat sensors. That’s how this particular snake knew to bite you. You invaded its space.”
“Sam’s ass is hot? That’s why he got bit?” asked Lee Morehead, cocking his head to get a look at Sam’s bitten butt cheek.
Stu went into professor mode. “All our asses are hot to a snake with heat sensors.”
The men nodded like they were attending a fucking nature lecture.
Sam craned his head, trying to get a look at the bite. “Hey, Dr. Herpes! What’s going to happen to me?”
Was this it? Was he going to die from a snake bite surrounded by a group of naked men he barely knew? His head started to spin. His thoughts grew jumbled. Then everything became crystal clear, and he saw one face. One person. His only love.
Zoe.
Was he really going to let her go? All he wanted to do was shield her from his past, but that had only brought her pain.
He grabbed Bud’s arm and looked around the group, eyes pleading. “I need you to get a message to Zoe. I need you to tell her that I love her, and if I had the chance, I’d tell her everything. She could question me like Tom Cruise in A Few Good Men, except I wouldn’t pull a Jack Nicholson, ‘you can’t handle the truth’ shit. No, I’d tell her everything. I’d tell her anything. Because you know what?”
The men huddled around him.
“What?” John Payne asked.
“She can handle it. She’s stronger than any person I know. I’ve been a fool. A giant, fucking fool for years.” He looked from Bud to Lee to John. He didn’t know where the hell Stu was, but that didn’t matter. These men could tell Zoe he was wrong.
The Complete Langley Park Series (Books 1-5) Page 120