by Mark Stanley
"I know, I used to have my haircut at the second unit but they forced him out of business."
"I want us to buy these units through the Foundation and to offer them for realistic rents, but I'm not sure the best way of doing it?"
"Are they for sale?"
"They were owned by Idiom and as you know Brompton's bought them up last summer and these were part of the deal, so yes, to answer your question, Brompton’s will underwrite the sale and being so altruistic it’ll be at cost. Do you have any ideas how we could do something positive with them?"
"I think we should shell and core them and then offer them on rent free five year deals subject to first vetting their business plans. There are...fourteen shops and I think a mix of, traditional shops and some Artisan Entrepreneurs would be ideal and then..." I'm never short of words or ideas, blame top notch education, you're required to be able to think.
"...We could devise a way of perhaps imitating Grosvenor Estates and what they did with Mount Street. What do you think?
"That you'll be a fabulous Prime Minister?"
"...that horse of yours winning helped and I think this will too?"
"What?"
"The BBC have expressed an interest in following you and Victoria for the next few months, maybe a year. They won't be with you every day, just all of the interesting one's, times when we think something may happen."
"Like what?"
"Oh, maybe your Investiture, the wedding, you know the sorts of things."
"Why would we agree?"
"They'll pay a large sum as a fee, to the Foundation?"
"Big deal."
"How very tiresome the two of you are becoming. You'll do it because I want you to do it."
"How much is this all worth?"
"They'll pay three quarters of a million."
"Cheapskates! I've got to allow them into our lives for a year and they pay peanuts!"
He gave a theatrical sigh and hummed at me. "Alright I'll make it five million, but for all intents and purposes, it's all coming from the BBC."
"No, as far as I know its BBC money and if Victoria asks me, that's what I'll tell her, so you need to ensure that it looks like it is."
"No-go areas?"
"Probably, but I'll have to come back to you, I need to sell this and that won't be easy."
"Then you had better make a jolly good job of it."
"What exactly is wrong with you? Do we need to go back and see David and ask him if he threw your brain away? Perhaps it's still in lost-property because it certainly didn't come home with you. Why would you ever agree to allow anyone that sort of access?"
"I just thought..."
"Don't compound the issue by telling me that you actually thought!"
"Look, it was suggested..."
"By whom?"
"...that it would make good TV. There's apparently an enormous interest in you and I, everywhere and with one eye on the future, it would be a great opportunity to allow people to get an insight into us and the lives we lead."
"But why? Why do we want people to get this insight, I don't care a flying fuck about anyone else's life so why should they be so interested in ours that they'll want to watch a programme about us?"
"Four actually."
"Four, what?"
"Programmes, they want to do a year so, winter, spring, summer and autumn."
"Do I look stupid? Do you not think I know what the fucking seasons of the year are?"
"I just thought..."
"There you go again, thinking, stop thinking, you're no good at it!"
"They'll pay five million?"
"I'll pay five million not to do it! What about editorial content, do we get a final say?"
"I don't know."
"Are there areas off-limits?"
"I don't know."
"What do Coombes and Gibb think?"
"I don't know."
"The sun is shining, the boys in blue have won the election, the inept Miliband has been exiled and now I'm having lunch with the future Prime Minister."
"Be quiet!" I hissed across the table.
"I don't really do secrets."
Sometimes it's difficult to find the words to control Ludo without reverting to expletives but even he couldn't take away my sense of well-being and so I sat, silently.
"No playing eh? Very well, we'll have a chat about the wedding shall we? My speech is a masterpiece as you can well imagine, no stone has been left unturned for the delectation of my audience. I think it will be thought of in a similar vein to JFK's 'Ich Bin ein Berliner' ditty or maybe Martin Luther Kings 'I had a dream' musings."
"Both of them were assassinated so there's hope for us all."
"Stick and stones dear boy will never piece my armour plating and I can forgive you for the comments, because being the warm-up act for me, must leave you shaking in your very large boots. How is the speech coming along?"
"Mind your own business."
"But it is, for if you are cruel to me I shall wish to repay it in bucket loads."
"Do you worst Ludo in the sure knowledge that I shall."
"What's eating you, you disagreeable individual?"
"Danny and his incessant demands to project me into the homes of the public."
“The Pied Piper is playing the tunes and you rats must follow.”
I looked across the table at this man who actually purported to be my friend.
“Ludo, some days I think you go too far with your analogies. Anyway Victoria is less than keen.
"But I thought she had agreed, albeit, with an extraction of having a fifth child?"
"Four, five, makes no difference, if I'm never home to see them."
"Feeling sorry for one's self is a trait in full use by the working classes and you swore that you would never return to them!"
"Oh hello?"
I looked up as Felicity stood in my office doorway.
"You're in very promptly; did the flight back from Monte Carlo land early?"
I continued to look through and sign off various documents as another infernal woman in my life took aim.
"Morning Giles, look what the cats dragged in."
"Good morning Mark, how are you?"
"Good morning Giles, I'm writing out a job description for a new PA, with a pre-requisite of being funny. Come on Felicity let's have the stand up comedy routine that you've been practising."
"No not at all. Did you see Mark & Victoria on the television Giles, all weekend?
"I did actually, looked great fun!"
"Chatting with Martin Brundell of Sky and then David Coulthard for the BBC, arms around each other laughing as they walked away from the cameras and then a little later in the Mercedes garage with Tom Cruise and Leonardo di Caprio and partners?"
"Yes, very lovely. Were they nice Mark?"
"Delightful, Tom and Leo are so pleasant."
"Leo to his friends of course. Then in the car being driven around by Lewis Hamilton no less. I particularly liked the photographs in the Sunday papers with you and Victoria laughing and dancing with Prince Albert and Princess Charlene at the Palace. What was for dinner Mark, I bet it was more exciting than my Chinese takeaway?"
"Finished? Then why not leave me to chat with Giles and you can go and apply face powder to try and disguise that green tinge that's appearing. Have a seat Giles and we'll get on with work rather than looking enviously at other peoples lifestyles."
"...I just didn't feel that I could, what with all of the uncertainty about you and you're return; uplift the annual bonuses by more."
"Don't beat yourself up over it, what's done is done and we'll roll-over the pot. What did you do about your own?"
"There was no way that I was taking a bonus without you taking yours and so no, nothing."
I considered this whilst I looked at the figures. "It was a spectacular year and I think that your share of it should be equally spectacular and so I propose that you take three million."
He didn't an
swer straight away and so I looked up and smiled. "Moving on where are we with the sales?" This took a long while as, although Josie's, our newly appointed Financial Director, spreadsheet had comprehensive figures; it didn't tell me all of the stories that I needed to know.
"...and they're proving problematical?"
"Let me have a look and see if there's anything that can be done."
"What do you think of Ascot Park then?"
I furrowed my brow as I had no idea to what he was referring.
"You have been to see it?"
I shook my head.
"Then you won't have seen...perhaps it's better if Victoria tells you."
"No, it’ll be far better that you tell me."
"I thought it was a splendid idea and..."
"What was a splendid idea? Giles don't try and avoid the question, what the hell is going on?"
He looked almost embarrassed as I continued to press him but eventually with a deep breath the explanation arrived.
"When planning was granted, you were in hospital, still in a coma and Victoria asked me to visit her? Well she had this fantastic plan for accelerating the project by erecting a gigantic cover over the whole site? Well I said that it could be done but it would be very expensive. She gave me a bit of a bollocking about me trying to determine how and where she would spend her money; actually it was quite a big bollocking, probably the biggest I've actually ever had. Of course I said that I'd get costs and then she...well then she said "Get your fucking costs but get on with it"...well...so I did, get on with it."
"I'm sorry Giles but that's one of the problems with Victoria; she doesn't do negotiation very well."
"Ludo said much the same and thought I'd got away very lightly."
I thought about that for a moment. "He's probably right, so has it worked?"
"Brilliantly, when we had all of the wet weather, the site was dry and so the groundwork's have been flying. We started pouring foundations the first week of March, about two months in advance of the schedule. As you know, the basements are all pre-formed concrete blocks and so they went in, rapidly. Before the beginning of this month that was completed and now there are now eighty bricklayers working twelve hour shifts, incredible really, but of course it all comes at a price."
"Doesn't it always, how much?"
"I think you really need to talk to Victoria."
"I'm talking to you, how much?"
"So far, the additional site covering and the acceleration costs have added almost £3.7 million to the bottom-line."
"What did Danny say?"
"Oh I was sworn to secrecy and the bills are going to Brompton Estates."
"And what's the impact on completion?"
"If we sustain this level of production, I think the house will be watertight by Christmas and then the fit-out starts, so maybe reducing the build to twenty months, which would be astounding for a house of this size."
Later in bed, with my new found stamina, all activities had returned to normal. Victoria lay in the crook of my arm as we recovered from a vigorous workout.
"Wow, that was the best since the attack, well done Billy you really are back in all departments."
"Why didn't you tell me about Ascot Park?"
"There was and is nothing to tell. I asked Giles to get it accelerated and pointed out the best way of doing that, nothing else to say."
"What's the hurry?"
"The hurry is that I didn't want to move back to Weybridge after the rebuild but this was before we bought the house at Wentworth? Anyway I want it finished."
"That's another thing, I was sent a copy of the deeds for Wentworth and my name is on as joint owner? I transferred you my half today all seventeen and a half million. In future, when you put my name to anything, can you let me know first as I might not be able to afford it?"
"I didn't ask and nor do I need you to pay. Going forward we'll be a team so don't start talking shit about yours and mine. We'll both have an individual bank account but we'll also have a joint one and our money will be amalgamated so do stop, and don't even think about mentioning a pre-nup."
"I think you need to protect yourself with a pre-nup, what happens if the marriage were to fail?"
"Billy, if the marriage fails, a pre-nup won't be needed and nor will any hospital."
Chapter 8 - June
In horse-racing, if the first Saturday in May leads to Newmarket for the 2000 Guineas, then the first Saturday in June all roads lead to Epsom Downs for The Derby. After the Newmarket victory Robert had been very much against going down the traditional route for middle-distance horses and I could understand his concerns, but for me, I have always wanted, if a horse was deemed good enough, to try and win the Triple Crown which consists of the Guineas, Derby and St. Leger.
"You really need to wean yourself off the prescription drugs they're destroying your brain." Was Robert's response and we had a forthright exchange of views."His sire never won over more than mile and his dam was a miler."
"Added together that's two miles so he's good to go!"
"He smashed the track record at a mile and I think he should go for the Irish Guineas onto the St. James's Palace and then maybe something like the Juddmonte over a mile and a quarter that’s if you're so determined to get him beat."
"He's going for The Derby, when he wins that he'll go to The Curragh for the Irish Derby, back to Ascot for the King George and then The Leger."
"You're totally bonkers he won't stay a mile and a half in The Derby let alone a mile and three quarters in The Leger and then I suppose you'll want to make the impossible happen and win The Arc?"
"I think Victoria will love Paris in October."
It hadn't been an argument and I did understand Robert's view but my mind was set. Few believed we could do it and most of the press were quick to join that particular bandwagon. My view was that if he didn't stay the trip, then he could revert to shorter distances, but for now it was to be my way. Of course Epsom were delighted to have the Guineas winner appearing and made a big fuss of the owners. With top hat and tails dusted off we had flown to the track along with the children, my parents, Ludo and Cara de Groote, Simon and Lucia Burns and an over-large security detail. We had no control of the security numbers, Poppy the PA gave them a monthly schedule and them updated it as it invariably changed, they risk assessed every function and today must have come out high as we had six guys with us.
Derby Day is one of the days that The Queen and members of the Royal Family attend and as we arrived at the course, Victoria and I we're asked to have drinks in her box before luncheon.
"What about us, don't we get an invite to tug the old forelock?"
"You'll have to do with being in my presence Ludo."
"Definitely a booby prize if ever there was one."
The drinks were very enjoyable and The Queen has an encyclopaedic memory of Bloodstock as she proved.
"I see the press are saying that being by 'Paco Boy' out of a 'Park Top' mare he won't stay?"
"Indeed they are and it's against the wishes and advice of the trainer but I just want him to run. I don't know when or if I'll ever own another horse good enough to take part and the thrill will be terrific, but win or lose he will have been given his chance of greatness and that's all that one could ask."
"Oh I think one can ask for many more tangible things than greatness, but I do concur with the principle of sporting endeavour and if he hadn't run we would never have been able to have such a lively discussion."
The conversation continued for another few minutes, joined by various other members of the family and of course Victoria, before we were tipped the wink, so to speak, that luncheon was ready. Thanking all and accepting their good luck and best wishes we went and made our exit rejoining our own guests for our own luncheon.
"So. did she give you any tips Mark?"
"Only the same one Simon that my Dad gave me years ago, never wear brown shoes with a blue suit."
The afternoon was blessed
with warm sun and the ground had remained good to firm, both would suit Nipper. The Derby was due off at 4.30pm and so we had a lot of time to spend over lunch and intermittently watching the preceding races. The huge crowd were treated to some great racing and we were thoroughly enjoying it too. The worry of Newmarket had been replaced with almost an acceptance of what will be will be. We were hopeful, but no more than that and that's the view that we took when we went to the Parade Ring to view our horse and all of the others. As always the cameras were in evidence and the ones that were following us had had access to the box where we had lunch but obviously not when we had visited Her Majesty. A brief interview was given to Channel Four who were covering the race for television as we watched the horses walking around.
Robert and Katie joined us.
"It's not too late; I can get a dodgy vet's certificate saying he's not well."
"Just enjoy it, it might be the only time you come here with a horse that's won the Guineas."
James Doyle came over to join us and shook hands with everyone. A personable guy with a good racing brain.
"So are you in the negative or positive camp James?"
"Definitely the positive one Lord Stanley. He wasn't stopping at Newmarket at the end of a track record so if I can just get him to go a stride slower then he has a chance, a big chance."
"In a horse box maybe, that's the only way he'll stay a mile and a half!"
"Thanks Robert, very helpful. Pay no mind James, all we can ask is that you give him a chance and bring yourself and the horse back safely."
He smiled and walked away to let Robert leg him up into the saddle so that they could get to the start. We wandered back, acknowledging well-wishers and thanking them, before taking our position on the balcony outside of the box. The Derby course resembles a horseshoe with the start and finish at either end of the horseshoe. In the middle of the track is a funfair to entertain those not overly interested in the horses and for half a mile up the course leading away from the winning post, are double decker buses, hired for the day to hold revellers, it was a colourful sight as we looked across at the hundred and fifty thousand crowded onto Epsom Downs.