Raise The Price

by Mark Stanley

  “Tell us more." As he theatrically yawned, turning away as if disinterested. When we didn't speak, he had to.

  "No, forgive me. I understand that there was almost a diplomatic incident when the dancing started?”

  "When we attend a dinner, any dinner there's always nervousness, hesitation when the music starts to play for the dancing to commence? Well, Mark and I could never be described as shrinking Violets…”

  “That was going to be my line!”

  “… Walks to my side, offers me his hand and we start to dance. It doesn't matter if we're home or away we always try and perform the ice-breaker roll but if someone else wants to do it then that's fine, we'll join them."

  "Can I interrupt?"

  "If you must."

  Which got a very big ooh from the audience and a laugh from Victoria. Our host again tried the death stare which just made Victoria laugh more than ever.

  "You were sat where?" Said with a forced smile and shake of the head, a Ruskin trademark which elicited a round of applause.

  "With the President, First Lady and the Chancellor."

  "So just on the most important table?"

  "Where else would you have us sit David?"

  Even the host was forced to smile and concede on the point.

  "Please continue Lady Stanley!"

  "We’ve been doing this for quite some time and so, the music began..."

  "What was the song?"

  It was my turn to speak, albeit briefly.

  "From 'The King and I’, ‘I Have Dreamed'?"

  "The same song that they danced to in the film 'The American President'?"

  I shrugged as I’d never heard of the film.

  "Anyway, as Mark stood up, The President, very well acted, stood indignantly and very loudly said to us with a holding up of his hand. 'Not on my watch Stanley's!' Took the First Lady's hand and went up to start the dancing. Obviously we stood to one side as they started to dance and then after a suitable pause we went to join them only for the President to try barging Mark off the dance floor and then the First Lady tried to trip me up! I mean I thought we were friends but David ever since she did that car karaoke thing she’s been…impossible!"

  The audience and our host were hysterical at Victoria's description.

  "…But it was all done in good humour...or we think it was!"

  "Does it surprise you that you get invited to these very select functions? I know your husband is a UN biggy but even you must be surprised by the way that people are queuing up to have you guys attend, whether it's a ball, a soccer game or dinner at The White House?"

  "We appreciate every invitation we get, even when we have to decline so many through time and security issues."

  "You both interview so well and are so warm surely you must see what others see?"

  Victoria was puzzled by the question. "Mark, as you put it, is a biggy at the UN but I don't really understand what you're asking?"

  "Which is my exact point, God I'm good! You are the most glamorous of couples; a magazine recently described you as..." And he picked up the said magazine and quoted. "...The Richard Burton and Elisabeth Taylor of this century but with so much more class." He raised his eyebrows to invite Victoria to respond.

  "I've not heard of the people that they've compared us to and so I can't comment."

  "You forget David, she was a child bride!"

  "But you are without doubt, one of the most powerful couples that I've ever interviewed and I can tell you, I've had them all on this sofa! But my point is you both seem oblivious to the esteem that you're held? You are not just beautiful people, you're worthwhile people and that I think, if I may say so, is the sexist thing about you!"

  Victoria smiled and laughed along with the crowd. "Are you flirting with me David?”

  “If only we’d met before Victoria, life could have been so different for both of us.”

  “Don’t you think the bar was set a little high for you David?” Was my comment which got a sneer from across the table as the crowd lapped it up.

  “I’ve done nothing else but massage your ego, considerable ego if the beautiful Victoria is to be believed and frankly I’m repaid with cheap insults.”

  “But it’s you that’s flirting with my wife, trying to enmesh her in a torrid affair, breaking up a happy home and depriving her children of her love and affection, all to fuel your carnal desires.”

  He paused before answering. “I was only paying her a compliment there’s no need to start divorce proceeding.”Yet another theatrical pause whilst he adjusted his tie and pretended to wipe his eyes.

  “Are you going to ask a question or sulk?”

  He looked at me curling his top lip before. “Dearest Victoria…” He smiled ingratiatingly at my wife before sneering yet again at me. “…How do you handle the constant demands on your time?” More sneering across at me followed.

  “We live our lives in the fish-eye of cameras and it is intrusive. We try really hard to be accessible but that's determined by our commitments and by our security. Of course we know how enviable our lives are, even I can't quite believe some of the functions we are asked to attend, but and I know it's not what you want to hear, it doesn't matter, we're just normal people, no sides, no ego's, well only Mark's...! But really, we're just two people who are very much in love; I'm married to a very special man and loving every moment of it."

  "Yes, he is very special…I suppose…” The look, again before. “…But you are his match and I think it's that which people see. You obviously love dancing so why did you turn down the chance to strut your stuff on ‘Dancing with the Stars’ and its UK equivalent?”

  “I would have loved to have done it but I just couldn’t make it work this year, what with the babies and Mark being away so much the older children need my support but I hope that I’ll be asked again and I’ll be able to say yes.”

  “Did you not think of offering Marks services as a dancer?”

  “Mark! Gracious what a disaster that would be. He’s seriously good at ballroom but if he has to dance without holding onto me he performs like an orang-utan and looks very similar to one, but he certainly has the divaesque qualities!”

  The audience were lapping it up.

  “You’re so harsh.” Was my response as I shook my head at my wife.

  “I know the truth hurts darling.”

  “You see David she’s not this kind generous person of words and deeds to me, to me she’s horrible, all of the time.”

  Victoria turned to the audience shrugged and smiled, which delighted them.

  “Do you argue?”

  “Oscar Wilde once said that in a democracy the minority are always right and that’s been a comfort to me since we got together.”

  Victoria just laughed.

  “I think we'll take a break. Join us again after the break when I grill Lord Mark Stanley on his tax affairs!"

  "Welcome back. So, there has been some speculation, initially in the British press but latterly here in America about you having some type of off-shore secret bank accounts and to date you've refused to answer the allegations, why is that?"

  Victoria has a calm which I wasn't feeling and she instinctively sensed that and took up the baton.

  "To our mind, there's nothing to answer. We pay all of our taxes in the UK. All of the companies are domiciled in the UK and we have no overseas trust, bank accounts or financial dealings which aren't reported to the UK tax authorities so what is there to answer?"

  "You come across as squeaky clean but still the rumours persist?"

  Now it was my turn.

  "David, Victoria has answered your question unequivocally. In Court it would be, 'asked and answered'. Unlike a lot of corporations, both UK & American, we don't book sales to a friendly low tax nation, we pay all of the taxes that are due and all I will say is that they are considerable. The UK tax authorities have no issues with us as individuals or any of our companies, indeed we have just had a tax investigation which
gave us a clean bill of health and we hadn't underpaid one penny. You've asked your question, can we move on please."

  "I sense certain anger about, what you deem to be an intrusive question and I'll ask the questions that the press both sides of the Atlantic are asking, why won't you publish your tax returns?"

  "Why should we, Donald Trump hasn’t published his and that would probably be much more exciting. No David we won’t publish because some individual with a motive to try and discredit us has, with Parliamentary Privilege, spoken some lies which he is scared to repeat outside of Parliament because he knows that they unsubstantiated accusations? Of course we could simply publish and the issue would go away but it's more fundamental than that. My word and that of Victoria has been questioned and we will not publish simply to satisfy these spurious accusations. If the individual will publicly repeat the accusations then we'll deal with it in open Court and I have no wish to say anything further on the matter so may we move on?"

  There was loud applause and I felt vindicated for the stance that we had taken. Yet still our host persisted.

  “Victoria, your Father Lord Brompton and your Mother Lady Brompton were exposed as having had dealing with the now infamous lawyers in Panama? During this exposé it was detailed that not only did they and I imagine still have billions of dollars of assets abroad but that they book the profits to a tax-haven and enjoy a tax free lifestyle, do you condone this?”

  Victoria smiled benignly at the questioner before answering.

  “I neither condone but nor do I criticise their actions. They became tax-exiles so that they could enjoy life but their actions are their own affair the same way that if the accusation was true of your parents that you wouldn’t criticise either.”

  “No, but I would move back home just to keep an eye of the where the money was being spent!”

  More applause as he played to the audience before, thankfully, moving on.

  “So Mark, yet another big no more than that, a gigantic speech at the UN two days ago?”

  The audience applauded long and hard before I could even respond. Our host joined in and then, rather theatrically hushed the crowd, much to their delight.

  “Thank you.”

  “Tell us about how you intend to harpoon the whales that circle the globe hiding their ill-gotten gains.”

  “Firstly I don’t accuse them of having any ill-gotten gains, far from it. The money hasn’t ever landed and so hasn’t been subjected to tax, which is my point and purpose of the speech at the UN. Perhaps you’ll allow me to give a brief outline of the issue?”

  “Of course, I can be magnanimous to you even when you’ve been rude to me!”

  More laughter.

  “American and we need to remember that these are predominately American companies, although other countries and companies are involved, but I’ll concentrate on the US for that will be of most interest to the audience, have in excess of $2 trillion dollars washing around the globe and that this sum is increasing every year. The money comes to them from various sources, none of which are illegal but cannot come back to the US as it would be taxed? My speech was that there should be an amnesty for this money but that the amnesty should involve the UN? What I propose is that the US Government and other affected Governments forgoes its normal tax and allows the money to come ashore once a payment of 15% of the total is paid to the UN by means of a levy. Now I understand that this will be unpalatable to a lot of people, most of all the shareholders but this deal would be good for all parties…let me explain. Once the money has arrived, minus the levy, it could then be distributed to the shareholders, either through share buybacks or special dividends, obviously the shareholders would then have to pay tax, but my idea is that the US give them yet another tax-break if they’ll divert the money into social welfare projects which the Government will pay long-term interest on? For example it might be used to provide affordable houses or regenerate cities which have suffered through the demise of industries, or perhaps incentivise companies to bring the jobs from abroad back to the US.”

  This found a lot of favour in the audience as the applause rang out for a considerable time.

  “When do you think that you’ll get the opportunity to be the next British Prime Minister?”

  "I've never had any political ambitions, I can't tell you how many times I've repeated that phrase over the last couple of years."

  "But the words don't meet the expectation of very influential people who I interview every week. You'll say you’re surprised I'm sure because you're that sort of guy, that the last President and the present President of America, have both gone on the record as saying that you and you alone, have the will, the desire and most of all, the support of the people to drive Britain back to a place on the top table, a place that some would say they vacated a number of years ago?"

  I smiled. "It's flattering that one should be spoken of in such a way but I'm Lord Mark Stanley and I sit, when time allows, in the House of Lords and the British constitution was amended in 1911 to say that the elected leader of the country should be in the House of Commons."

  "But you could renounce your title and I'm pretty sure that they would be queuing up to have you as their MP?"

  "Well that theory is yet to be tested."

  "But you don't discount it?"

  "I try not to discount too much. If I've learned anything in this life is that a route is rarely straightforward and sometimes one has to make detours to reach ones destination."

  “Britain is to face a vote in the next few weeks about its ongoing participation in the European Union. You two are firm supporters of the Remain campaign and if reports are to be believed, you’ve between you underwritten the campaign with hard cash $5 million dollars of it if truth be told. Do you think they’ll win?”

  “We obviously hope so but we are concerned with the route the campaign is taking and the effect this might have on the outcome, which despite the polls in the newspapers, is, at least in our opinion, far from cut and dried.”

  “What’s the biggest issue?”

  “Without doubt immigration.”

  “With your job at the UN you must have some firm views on that?”

  “I do. I firmly believe that the richest countries in the World and there’s no country richer than here in America, that those countries must do more. Whether it’s increasing the finance to relief agencies, brokering peace deals with warring factions, or offering secure refuge.”

  That hit a nerve as the audience let me know in no uncertain terms their feelings on the matter.

  “Hush, get back in your cages, let our guest speak!”

  “I understand that there is more than a little hostility to my views but what I say is true, however it’s not only America but there are many countries that can and should do more including the near neighbours in the Middle East who have been and continue to be somewhat reticent in offering sanctuary which is disappointing, as their slowness in coming forward causes yet more disharmony with the very people that they should be holding out a hand of friendship to. They have a common religion; in many cases a common language and similar values which should be met with a more suitable response than the one that is presently being offered.”

  That got the crowd back on side.

  “By 2050 the World’s population is going to increase by more than two billion, just think of that two billion and where are they all going to live, where are the hotspots? The population in Europe and here in the US will stay roughly the same but Africa will increase by almost one and a half billion and Asia by almost a billion.”

  “But it’s not sustainable.”

  That got strong applause from the audience.

  “It is sustainable but we need to change the way that we live, we can’t continue to have complete disregard for the rest of the World and concentrate on our own lives. We need to encourage stable environments, job opportunities, education and a quality of life so that they wish to stay in the countries of their birth rathe
r than migrating. By the end of this century, the projections are that the World population will reach eleven billion. Critical mass will have been reached and from that point on, the population stabilises and begins to fall but it’s this and the next generation who need to put measures in place so that life is sustainable.”

  “How would you go about finding a solution to the migration problems?”

  “Thankfully there are smarter minds than mine at work but solutions will be found. I have some ideas of my own which I will be exploring and sharing with the various agencies but it’s important that we acknowledge that it’s in all of our interests to live in harmony and together we succeed.”

  There was sustained applause.

  “Well at least it seems that you’ve struck a chord with some if not all of the audience. Will your solutions mean putting yourself in the firing line, quite literally or will you take more of a backseat now that you’ve had three extremely close shaves?”

  “What a good question David, perhaps Mark will favour you with an answer because he continues to avoid giving me one.” Victoria wasn’t amused.

  “It’s not about putting oneself in the firing line. My job as I see it is to reform certain elements in the department which have lost their way, get us back to the basics and to ensure that we modernise and adapt so that we help the greatest number of people. I can’t do the job sitting here in New York or back at home in London, I need to see where the problems are, see the people who are trying to resolve them and to try and guide, where necessary but from a position where I can have most impact which is on the ground and in the countries where the need is greatest. There are many fantastic countries throughout the World that are making a positive contribution in the UN ideals. Promoting education, employment, health and housing and fostering a sense of harmony and accord with their neighbours and these should be held up as beacons of hope.”

  “Name one?”

  “Very easy Malawi. They have a stable Government and are making a real difference even though they have a million children who have been orphaned because their parents have died of HIV it isn’t stopping them and their efforts and they need to be encouraged.”