I walked with my head down as I heard the others speaking softly coming down the hallway. The pious and mighty sisters of mine thought I didn’t know what they actually all did, the sinners they were, but I knew. I knew it all. What they didn’t know was, I actually spoke to the Lord on my prayer journeys. And once he compelled me to speak again – the immoral ones would fall.
4 Years Ago
“Julia! Julia Marchfield!”
The incessant yelling wasn’t going to get me to acknowledge this bitch any faster so she may as well calm her tits down.
“What’s up, Rita?” I asked.
“Mrs. Trumble to you, you little shit. Start answering me or I will kick you out of this house.”
“Yeah, yeah.” Fat bitch wasn’t going to kick me out of this group home. She would stop getting my check from the government each month. She acted like this was the Ritz Hilton or something.
“I can’t wait until you turn of age and I don’t have to put up with that attitude. I will be the first one laughing my ass off at you when you find out what the real world has in store for you.”
Smiling at her, blowing her a kiss, I tromped into the large dining area to grab some toast. There were some people there I had never seen. Interested, but not enough to ask, I sat down with a cup of coffee and dry white bread.
“Who are they?” I asked Tanya.
She was the one I was closest to. She had just turned eighteen, so she would be moving out soon.
“I’m not sure, but I don’t feel good about them.” She shrugged. “The woman keeps looking me up and down like I’m a piece of meat or something.” She shivered visibly, disgusted.
It did seem weird how they were focused on all the girls getting ready to move out.
“Stay with me. Let’s go to school.” We stood together, leaving the place.
That evening there was tension in the air as Rita tried to be extra nice to all of us. It was so out of character for her, we knew something was happening. I held the knife I had found on our walk home close inside my pants line.
“Wait until you see the new van I just bought girls! You will love it. My new business partners have given me quite an advance.” She walked around with a stupid grin on her face. “I’ve never had a new car before.” She said beaming.
Patty, usually a quiet girl, asked, “What kind of business, Mrs. Trumble?”
“They are going to give you girls respectable jobs when you turn of age. Isn’t that wonderful?” She smiled a fake smile.
Tanya and I looked at each other. If we were getting the job, then why was she getting an advance?
That night I was woken up by screams. I recognized Tanya’s voice, so I jumped out of bed. To my surprise, my door was locked, from the outside. I couldn’t get out. I yelled, kicked, tried everything I could, but to no avail. I tried to pick the lock with the pointed edge of my knife, but found out it wasn’t as easy as it was on TV.
The next morning, when I heard the lock click open on my door, I jumped through it, demanding answers.
Tanya, and four other girls who were aging out this year, were gone. Rita was humming a happy tune about they had a job out of the country to start right away.
Something was very wrong, but no matter who I went to, the teachers, the counselors, even my caseworker – they just thought I was over reacting. All I knew was, I’ve never seen or heard from Tanya or the others again.
Chapter 4
Purity
This was my favorite times of the day, when I was kneeling before the altar and confessing my sins. I had so many wrongdoings, I felt like I needed cleansing so badly. I would always look at myself as the one neck deep in maggots and filth, begging to be forgiven, begging for our Redeemer to save me, expunge my sins and help me understand my purpose.
My penance was really high all the time and I often wondered, was it because I was being tested? I had lived my entire life on my own, except for the brief time I had Tanya, yet my need for acceptance by the Mother Superior was fierce, but not as strong as the love I needed from the Lord. That was why, if I had to attend to all of the carnal sins in this building, then that was the least I could do. It was because I knew, in my heart of hearts, it could be so much worse.
I loved the zinging sensation I got when I got down to pray. It was like he was resonating through me to tell me what he would need. I would gladly deliver his message, be it loving or harsh, I would be as merciful as I could, although the troubling situations happening in his name, made me think his deliverance would be severe.
I always started off praying for Tanya and the other girls who just disappeared in the middle of that fateful night. After, I set to work on my sins for the day, then I simply sat and listened to what God wanted of me. It was the most peaceful thing; I couldn’t even describe it if I wanted to. It really was a shame that not all of the convent's residents spent more time listening then they spent doing.
Sadly, my time was up, so I needed to go do my kitchen chores. They would’ve just eaten afternoon meal; I would scrub the dishes so they would be clean for dinner. That actually was not so bad either. Honestly, as I thought about it, if I could spend my entire life in the nunnery doing menial chores and spending time in prayer, I would die a happy woman. However, the appetites of men must be met.
I understood this more than others perhaps. Maybe because the two priests made sure I did, or maybe because in this society, it just simply was.
Standing in front of the kitchen window as I scrubbed pans, I looked wistfully at the garden out the window. I would need to prove my worth before I could work outside. In a way, I left one prison to come to another. The difference though – this prison was my way out. No one made this choice for me.
Finishing up with the cleaning, I fixed a sandwich and sliced an apple. Praying for the food the lord supplied, I sat down with my simple meal.
The sisters ate three times a day, I was permitted two on my regimen. In all honesty, two was truly enough to sustain my body. Plus, and the Lord would have it, he would send someone to slip pieces of cake, or a piece of fruit under my door every evening after I was sent to my room.
My guess was, it was Sister Hanleigh. She was the only one who deigned to even take a peek at me. I don't know what she saw in me, but I was glad that not everyone looked at me with disdain. Once, I’m pretty sure she winked when she passed me by. It was a nice gesture; however, I could only guess the trouble she would get in with the Mother if she was found out, and I surely wasn’t worth it. I would be one day, but I needed to prove myself, and I had every intention of doing that.
6 Months Ago
Every year was the same. The girls that turned of age, Rita had them transported somewhere unknown in the middle of the night. She told my caseworker it was easier on us to do that then to drag out a goodbye. I didn't believe her lies, but there wasn't much I could do. Our caseworkers ate that shit up, either because she was naïve or because she didn't care enough. I knew I needed to do something, but I was at a loss.
In my senior year, I got a new English literature teacher. She was young and full of ideas. Renewing all of our interests in the classics, she soon turned out to be one of my favorites.
As my birthday drew closer, I knew I just had to leave. I tried sneaking out in the middle of the night, making it as far as the driveway when the nosy ass neighbor called Rita. She literally dragged me by the hair and threw me in my room. She took a leather belt and she beat the shit out of me, then left me lying crumpled on the floor. She turned around, left, and locked the door. I dragged a shoebox I had hidden under my bed and opened it to look at the remains. It calmed me down enough when I started visualizing that one day, it could be Rita. I laughed of joy, thinking that fat bitch would need a much bigger box.
Driving me to school the next day, she informed me she would be picking me up also. It was her way of keeping tabs on me. I then realized I was more trapped than I originally thought. I was running out of time and I needed to find a way ou
t of this quickly. I didn’t know where the girls were, but if they had to be taken in the middle of the night, without their consent by the sound of their screams, it couldn’t be anywhere good.
As I made my way through the school, Mrs. Otis, the new teacher, had seen me in the hall and decided to pull me aside. She was concerned by my erratic behavior in school. When she asked me if I was doing drugs, I laughed hysterically and explained what was happening at the house.
She looked at me in shock, there's no other way to describe it. I assumed, of course, she didn’t believe me a word I had said. Except that, she actually did. She went to the principal, then called Child Protective Services to hold a meeting. She couldn't believe what was happening at the house and was outraged by it. The Principal and the people from Child Protective Services told her that, even if they understood she was new to all of this, she should not just focus in one student, she had many others who needed her attention too. They advised her to tend to the other children she taught.
“I am going to help you.” She promised, determination in her face. Her words were like a soothing balm to my broken soul.
I felt relieved that someone cared for my well-being even if I knew there wasn’t anything she could do. I did appreciate her efforts. I never had the inclination or desire to use the knife I had on a person, but at this point, that would probably change if it meant it would help me escape. Whatever my fate was going to be, I would find out soon.
Then, right as Rita walked into the school, a uniformed police officer called her name, coming in from behind her. It turned out, Mrs. Otis was married to a cop. She had called him. Rita’s face looked like it was going to explode as she shouted how dare you’s and who do you think you are?
Then before my eyes, a real life, honest to God, nun walked into the school. I had never seen one dressed in the garb. She walked over to the teacher. They had a discussion while Rita was still being interviewed.
The nun, who I later found out was Sister Mary Margaret, walked over to me and asked if I would like to talk to her.
“Yes ma’am.” I was star struck, never meeting a real nun before.
“I help run a convent on the other side of town. I understand that you are not a regular church goer, but tell me child, do you believe in God?”
Nodding vigorously, it was like I had lost my ability to speak. There was this need inside of me to have this woman like me.
She smiled. “Bless you my child. I am offering you a spot to become part of our unique legacy. It takes a certain young woman with good morals, and a closeness to our Lord and Savior to become a part of our society. I believe God has brought me here to extend you this invitation.”
“You are asking me to be a nun?” My mouth dropped to the floor as I turned out all the other background noise behind me, mostly Rita’s mouth, and focused on her.
With keen eyes, she answered, “I am offering you this opportunity as an alternative over, well, whatever that woman has concocted up.”
My head was nodding yes as all my fears started to slip away. I was in my own thoughts when I felt her pull my arm.
“I want you to think about it. This is not something to be entered into lightly. This is a lifetime commitment where you would leave all your worldly desires outside of the convent doors. There is a strict rule structure that you must follow. I would very much like you to join but not before you have thought it through.”
Still nodding, I took the pamphlets she had.
“Look at these. You must be absolutely positive you can adhere to all the rules. You will need classes to catch you up on scripture. It may not be much different of a life then what you have now.” She frowned.
“Will you promise not to let people steal me in the middle of the night?”
“Of course.” She looked affronted.
“Then I’m all in. This is the first actual decision I have been allowed to make for myself.” I threw my arms around her and realized how stiff she was. “Oh sorry,” I giggled.
She smiled and said she would come see me the next day. As she walked over to talk to Rita, Mrs. Otis gave me a huge hug.
I was finally going to be free.
Chapter 5
Father Clarence
Hearing the tapping at my door, I glanced at the clock. Since moving into the rectory two years ago, I was tuned into every creak the house had to offer. It was time for Sister Purity's lesson. I walked over to the door distracted by the sermon I was working on for the service on Sunday.
I waved her in brusquely. She often would take the brunt of my displeasure at not being able to get the words of my sermon to flow. I was thankful when she was put in our charge, or rather, agreed to be in our care. I needed this outlet. As far as I was concerned, she could be in training for the next decade.
The other sisters knew they needed to listen, but not all of them were as compliant as her. “Raise.” I said, waving my hands around.
She was smart enough to know I meant her gown. She raised it enough so I could see the stockings. “Take them off.”
The robe hit the floor so she was standing in her stockings only. I knew she was already used by O’Rourke, which made it so much better for me.
“Kneel on the floor, hands behind your back.” That was where the ties on the stockings came in. They would tie her hands at the wrist.
When I joined the priesthood, I knew I had an aversion, however, I also knew my entire life, I was supposed to give my life to God. So, when he dropped Julia, now Sister Purity, in our laps, so to speak, I knew I had made the right choice.
People would’ve called what my father did abuse. I called it making me a man. When he came into my room every night, taking his carnal pleasures with my young body, I wasn’t sad. He was strengthening me for what was to come. We read the scripture together, sometimes with clothes on, more often without. He showed me how to please him, and I took pride in the fact I was not only honoring him, but helping him stay safe and free from negative thinkers.
Seeing Purity on her knees in front of me reminded me of a younger version of me. She, herself, couldn’t satisfy me, but when she put on the mask and strap on I bought her, she was quite enjoyable.
I had her wear a long, hard plastic cock attached by two straps that snapped on around each leg. It fit snugly against her crotch. After attaching that, I slid the mask on her. It was the perfect face of a young cherub-faced boy. The lips were cut out, nose holes and eyes. It always made my cock instantly hard.
Tracing her lips with two of my fingers, I shoved them inside her mouth, in and out. She slurped them, almost making me moan. I hated this vow of silence bullshit. I wanted to make her scream; it was like ecstasy for me. Pulling my fingers out, I traced the scars I had made on her milky white breasts. I almost cut them off. He, I mean she, didn’t need them. Not for me anyway.
Going back to my desk, I sat down, leaving her kneeling in front of me while I finished my sermon. Just the visual of the rigid dick hanging between those legs was enough inspiration to help me complete it. In reality, it wasn't like I got inspired by her sitting there, but the prospect of what would happen once I was done was motivation enough.
Finishing up, I walked around the still figure. To her credit, she kneeled there never moving, never flinching. Running my fingers through the tuft of baby fine hair on top of the mask, I went to lock the door. The excitement of someone being able to walk in while she was in this state, always kept her on her anxious and on her toes. I loved the fear in her eyes.
I was undressed by the time I made my way back. She had been doing this for months, so even though I hated the vow of silence, in this ocassion, no words were needed. Dropping down in front of her, I backed up on all fours so my back was to her. When I stopped, she bent her head down to lick my hole. I needed some lubrication before she fucked me. This was the first time her hands had been tied, but I needed to act out a scene from my childhood.
She was smart, wedging her face in between my cheeks shoving he
r tongue in. My hand gripped my length, stroking it. “Now.” I managed to croak out.
She lined the tip up, and tried to put it in. It was harder without her hands so I helped her guide it in. Grunting as she pushed as far as she could, I pushed back into her, she pulled out, slamming back in. My hand was fisting my cock, furiously pounding into my pelvis. Knowing I would be bruised, I still gave as good as she was giving. She had learned so much in this short amount of time even for someone so innocent as she was.
As long as we kept her hymen intact, we could do whatever we needed with the rest of her. That thought made big white ropes of come shoot out into my hand as I covered the tip. The strap on did absolutely nothing for her, but she was there for penance, not pleasure. I slid off gingerly. Turning over onto my back, my hand was full of my sperm. She would ingest most of it, but some she would wear the rest of the night.
Covered in sweat, trying to catch my breath, I sat up, smiling at the discomfort, hand painted over the scars I had given her, then fed her with the rest. I kissed her full on the lips while she had the mask on. Then pushed her face down so she could pay homage to my shriveling cock and balls with her tongue. After she finished, I got up, went to the restroom to shower, then came back and untied her.
She gathered all the supplies so she could clean them and put them away, then she put her habit back on and slipped out the same way she came.
Sister Purity
Father Clarence always keeps me late with his perversions. Now I needed to rush back to my room so I could try and clean all this filth off my flesh and get my prayers in before I got caught after my curfew.
No matter what happens here, I have to believe that it is better than what would’ve happened had I stayed at the group home, although I still don't know what happened to Tanya and the others.
Bad Habits: A Dark Anthology Page 24