Chris agreed to have Cadle write the book if it was a story of his path to redemption and his journey to finding God in prison. He chose Cadle, probably in part, because he wanted to control the narrative. She is a religious woman and not a journalist, and so he might have felt she would paint him in a more favorable light. He was also able to share his newest version of “why.” Chris now claims he was possessed by something evil. He wants everyone to know that the murderer who stood on the porch with a smirk on his face while his family was left to decompose at his workplace wasn’t really him. He was just possessed for a short time, and now he’s good again. It will be hard to convince the majority of people that this is the case.
Chris is still seeking approval and praise, even from prison. He was aware that everything he wrote to Cadle would be published, and when he writes his acknowledgments in the book, it’s almost like he thinks he’s a celebrity and not a murderer. It truly is odd that a man who slaughtered his family for a girlfriend he had known for a few months would have an acknowledgment section in a book. The last paragraph appears as if he is imagining he is writing to his fans (and he does have fans and people who write him in prison, so maybe his perspective is somewhat accurate). He closes his acknowledgments with: “Ok, I think that’s all I got for now! I pray the Lord keep guiding us, protecting us and correcting us so we stay on His path. I will leave you with a few verses that the Lord brought to my attention. Take care and God Bless! In Christ, Chris.”
His delusions of becoming a martyr and helping people are even more fully realized for him now that he is internationally known. Chris has been thinking a lot about finding his “purpose” and talks about his view of what he believes is his unique and special purpose in life. “Honestly, when I was sitting in the cell, I was listening to everybody tell me, if you do this, you could hang yourself, drown yourself in the toilet. At one point, I was listening to them. I felt maybe there was a different purpose for me somewhere else. Maybe it’s here (the current Wisconsin prison where he is being held). I prayed to God to move me away from Colorado. There was a hit on me! God moved me here for a reason.”
When pressed further about his desire to help people, he said, “This one girl is in an abusive relationship and can’t find a relationship with God. I never read the Bible before this. In Weld County, I read it. That was the only book I got. I read it cover to cover. It stuck with me. I’ve been reading more and more here, writing a couple scriptures a day and giving it to my mom and dad. My Uncle Johnny and his wife are missionaries, and one of my cousins as well, and they are helping my mom and dad. They’re amazed with how mature I am with the Bible. I have a good memory. I’ve memorized a lot of scripture and can help people that way. There are inmates that have left and gone to a different place who have written me and asked, ‘Hey can you give me a couple scriptures? Help me through this?’ Maybe I can help somebody that way.”
As far as traits of communal narcissism, Chris seems to have strong feelings around his new purpose and possibly has some traits on the communal narcissist checklist, such as: “I will be well known for the good deeds I have done,” “I have a very positive influence on others,” “I greatly enrich others’ lives,” “I will be famous for increasing people’s well-being” and, “I’ll make the world a much better place.” I would like to think Chris found God and wants to help people, but it’s also hard to take him seriously after all his lies and all the pain he has caused so many people.
As he sits in prison, people in contact with him continue to talk to the press about Chris as a self-professed “changed man.” These people are spreading the message that Chris wants the world to know: He is now a man of God and should be forgiven for his transgressions. Forgiveness doesn’t always mean that you accept or condone what someone has done, rather, you don’t hold anger in your heart towards them. Forgiveness is a personal thing and those who want to forgive Chris for what he has done absolutely should, but it also makes complete sense as to why people wouldn’t feel very charitable towards him. Chris’s mom, Cindy, shared a letter he wrote to her from prison with the television station, HLN. In it, he writes, “I’m still a Dad! I’m still a son! No matter what… Now, I can add servant of God to that mix! He has shown me peace, love, and forgiveness, and that’s how I live every day.”
The truth is, Chris lost his “dad privileges” when he killed his children. Even if he sincerely found God, this still feels like a way to absolve himself of blame and guilt for what he did. Only Chris knows if his new life as a servant of God is real or genuine, but of course people are going to be very skeptical that his remorse only came about after his realization that he will be in prison for the rest of his life.
Chris also told Cadle that he believes if he maintains his good behavior, one day he may be able to get out of prison, even though he was sentenced to life with no parole. Given that he is still on his very best behavior in prison, he is hopeful he can one day be released, and is trying to convince others that he won’t be a danger to the public if he does get out. How are we supposed to think he is genuine after everything he has done and lied about? It just comes off hollow, like he’s trying to manipulate the public. This tactic is to push his agenda, and hopefully get what he wants, a life outside of prison.
Can someone be both a narcissist and psychopath? Of course, it is possible that Chris could be a primary psychopath with other comorbid conditions, such as communal narcissism. I personally do not believe that most people fit into neat little boxes of diagnosis, and Chris may not either. Human beings are very complex, and there is still so much we don’t understand about many of these conditions. It’s going to be impossible to know definitively what’s going on, but knowledge is power. Hopefully a better understanding of these conditions and how they manifest will push the discussion on how we can spot red flags and use appropriate treatments for people who may have a propensity toward violence.
Classic narcissistic abuse
Continuing with the theme of narcissism, Chris’ relationship with Shanann followed the path that all abusive narcissistic relationships do, but theirs was a bit different from the norm. This is perhaps one of the reasons that made this case so psychologically compelling. Many people who have been in relationships with narcissists see that the mask of the narcissist can slip fairly quickly. People in relationships with covert narcissists (those who are not overly grandiose and may seem nice and normal to the outside world) may suffer from abuse behind closed doors, but the rest of the world may see their partner as great. From all the public evidence documented of Chris’s and Shanann’s relationship, if there was any abuse coming from Chris, it must have been so subtle that it was unnoticeable.
As Shanann stated in shocked texts with her friends, these problems came out of left field when she and the girls went to North Carolina. Shanann was baffled because she and Chris had never had any significant problems in their relationship before. Even if they had disagreements or scuffles, they were no more than what any normal couple deals with. For the entire eight years she had spent with Chris, he had acted one way with her and only up until six weeks before he killed her, did he turn from Mr. Hyde to Dr. Jekyll. Shanann stated she didn’t know who he was anymore. She was crying for days out of confusion, shock, and fear of losing her marriage and family.
In the beginning, Chris went through the typical motions of how a narcissistic type of person would pursue someone. As stated earlier, when he first met Shanann, she was at rock bottom in her life because of circumstances around her health and divorce. In the Facebook video earlier mentioned in this book, she describes her attempts to push him away as he unremittingly pursued her. Chris stuck around until he won her over. Narcissistic and psychopathic types prey on weaker people because they need to feel a sense of control and power. Chris made himself valuable in the way only he knew how, by making himself helpful and special by differentiating himself from the stereotypical guy.
He accompani
ed her to a colonoscopy after only two months. He took pride in the fact that he helped her with a car from the dealership with a wheel that was about to fall off. He liked the fact that he was helpful “just like her dad.” All this praise made him think that he was the special one. This is what narcissistic types need: fuel that makes them feel that they are more special than everyone else. This is also how Chris won people over and got people to like him so much. Sandi told Shanann that Chris was sent to her from God after Shanann called her early in the relationship and told her that Chris let her sleep on his lap for hours and didn’t disturb her, even though he had to pee. We know now that that type of praise was what Chris likely needed to further validate his belief of his uniqueness.
It would have been almost impossible to predict that Chris would have turned out to be the murderer he became, but after eight years, the “devalue” phase emerged. At this point, the narcissistic person has already won you over, and they start to become cruel and abusive: mentally, emotionally, physically, sexually, or all four.
Chris started devaluing Shanann as his affair with Nikki grew more serious. Imagine Shanann’s surprise and confusion to see such a radical change in the person she thought she knew so well. And he had been so consistent the entire time she had known him.
In the beginning of his relationship with Nikki, he was still telling Shanann what she wanted to hear. An example of this was shown in text messages between Chris and Shanann on July 10, 2018: “You OK? It’s like you don’t want to talk. I kept trying to talk and I had to dig it out of you?” Shanann said. Chris responded: “I’m fine baby. The last few days at work have put a lot of responsibility on me with new people. I didn’t mean to seem short Boo. I love you to the moon and back.” Even though Shanann knows something was different and didn’t feel right, Chris was making her think that everything was fine. This was frustrating for Shanann because she knew something was wrong, but she wasn’t sure what. Chris was making her feel like she was crazy, gaslighting her.
Because it seems that Chris had no real attachments to his family besides whatever value they provided to him, when he no longer had use for them, he found it easy to throw everything away.
When Chris shifted to the devalue phase with Shanann, he made her feel the worst she had ever felt in her life. During the weeks he was devaluing Shanann and the girls, numerous text messages showed Shanann’s distraught state of mind, which was directly related to how quickly Chris flipped the switch and became a cold and distant husband.
For people who have never experienced the devalue phase, it is incredibly confusing to see a person who once put you on a pedestal suddenly act so cruel, cold, and unfeeling toward you. There is an element of disbelief because you feel that the “old” person, the one who was so kind, sweet, adoring, and giving is still there. The sad truth is, the real person is the cruel one with no empathy for you or your feelings. If you’ve never experienced something like this, or if the change is so abrupt and shocking, it can be incredibly difficult to process.
Not only would this be difficult for Shanann to understand and process, but she also had other important factors to consider, such as her daughters, unborn son, and finances. They had already filed for bankruptcy, mainly because of all the medical bills from Shanann and the girls along with a hefty mortgage. Even if Shanann had slight inklings that something was very wrong with Chris, she wouldn’t have had enough time to fully process everything because of how quickly and suddenly things went downhill.
Shanann was a tough and independent woman. She did consider leaving Chris, and she spoke candidly to friends about the possibility. In text messages, her friend Cassie and her husband Josh even offered to take Shanann and the kids in if they needed a place to live if she left Chris. If she had more time on this earth, I’m sure she would have taken them up on that.
Chris duped Shanann by giving her false hope imminently before he murdered her. She was feeling quite optimistic before she left for her final trip to Arizona by the sound of her text to Chris, which is reprinted in its entirety earlier: “Good morning, honey… We are checked in and everything… Enjoy the girls…I told Bella I was leaving for work with Nicki and assured her I was always coming home… Give them lots of kisses for me… I miss and love you so much…Love you baby. Send me pics.”
The discard phase and in this case, “the final discard,” is when the narcissistic person is finished with you for good. It is when they have no use for you anymore, and you can no longer provide them with the supply they need.
Chris had found a new source of supply and admiration for himself in Nikki, and his old life no longer served a purpose for him. In, fact, his life of the last eight years had become an obstruction to getting what he wanted. This is also where the blame and rage toward Shanann came in the picture. Shanann, and by extension, the children, became the reason he couldn’t get what he wanted. Thus, he reasoned that the only way to get what he wanted was to just annihilate the old life, literally. Discard is the most accurate word for what Chris did to his family and how he did it. He dumped his daughters’ bodies in crude oil and threw his pregnant wife face-down in a shallow grave. It’s as if they were garbage taken out to the landfill, not innocent human beings. Looking at how Chris chose to deal with his problems is the biggest indicator of how disordered his mind is. While Shanann was looking to cope with their problems in emotionally healthy ways, by her willingness to go to counseling, read relationship books, and work on herself, Chris was deciding that calculated murder was his best option.
Perhaps in an attempt to absolve himself of all his sins, Chris confessed to Cadle that he had zero remorse after hiding the bodies of his family. It’s impossible for a normal person to fathom their own children having the same value as garbage, but this is why it’s so important to understand the profile of a person with psychopathic and severe narcissistic traits. They are very dangerous.
When Chris talks about Shanann, Bella, and CeCe, he seems to think of them as objects that were only useful when providing something to him. His interest in other people was all about what they could give him. Even when he says he has remorse for what he’s done, it’s not about missing his family, losing out on the opportunity to know Nico, and watching his daughters grow up. It is more about his sorrow for having to live the rest of his life in prison: “I look outside every day. What would we be doing right now? Right now, I would have had a 5-year-old 3-year-old, most likely a one-month old son and a beautiful wife, and now it’s just me.” This statement is yet again, all about him and what he could have had if he had not made the depraved choices that he did. He’s feeling sorry for himself, not sorry that his family is gone forever.
When Chris describes his role as a father, he says, “All I wanted all my life was to be a dad and have kids that love me.” Take notice that he specifically said he wanted to be a dad so he could have kids who would love him, as opposed to having children he could love. This is because he may not have had the capacity to truly love anyone, although he certainly felt a need to have other people love him. Sadly, the attachment to his children seems to be a narcissistic one. It was all about what they were giving him: love, attention, giving him purpose, or just making him look good to other people.
Chris never talks about his girls in a loving or attached way. After he’s killed them, and he’s giving interviews to the media pretending to be distraught, his scripted speech about missing them sounds detached and rehearsed. He has no emotion as he says he misses them “throwing chicken nuggets” at him. He makes no mention of missing aspects of them that a parent would long for…snuggling with them, hearing their laughter, and playing with them. Even when being interrogated by investigators, he can’t even find nice things to say about his daughters. Instead, he starts to say the girls are “bossy like their…” but cuts himself off before he says “mother.” He is so detached from his own children that after he’s killed them, he can only think to describe them as
“bossy.”
It’s interesting to hear Chris talk about his memories of Shanann. It’s like she was an object to him, perhaps even a trophy. In Cadle’s book, he speaks about her captivating beauty and how she looked on their wedding day. In his confession with law enforcement, he acknowledged that she was a good person who took care of people, but any sort of attachment he had to her feels shallow. When he talks about Nikki, he actually says nothing about her personality. What he does is highlight how she made him feel. He felt that she treated him with respect, but that was again, about whatever need these women were filling for him; it wasn’t about who they were. People with narcissistic traits may actually believe they love other people, but love to them is using others to bring them whatever it is they need.
In “Can Narcissists Change?” in Psychology Today, author Craig Malkin says, “Even when they fall for someone who could be more than just an adoring fan—someone who offers the hope of a more authentic, enduring love—narcissists still live with the paralyzing fear they’ll somehow be deemed unworthy.”47 This is what appears was happening with Chris. Deep down, he knew that not only was he unworthy, but someone would eventually discover who he really was, and he was the opposite of how he portrayed himself to the world. We know he felt unworthy, as he admitted that he felt beneath Shanann, and that she was smarter than he. He resented her for that. Initially, he was thrilled that Shanann, who was beautiful, smart, and ambitious, would choose him. It made him feel important, but then he just became threatened by her.
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