Page 33
Author: Kristan Higgins
“Hello!” she cries. “I’m so happy to see you, Ryan! I loved your class! You’re a wonderful teacher! Hello! Welcome!”
“Down, girl,” I say, leaning down the eight necessary inches to kiss her cheek.
“So nice to see you again, Mrs. O’Neill,” Ryan says, handing her the flowers.
Mom prepares to faint with joy. “Flowers! Oh! How thoughtful! Aren’t you wonderful!”
I roll my eyes. “It smells good in here, Mom,” I say suspiciously. “Did you have it catered?”
“Oh, Chastity! She’s joking, of course, Ryan. I love to cook. ” Mom zips to the stove. “No, I’ve been taking a few classes, that’s all. ”
I glance in the oven to see a beautiful crown roast, golden and succulent. My mouth waters. “I feel like I’m in a science fiction movie. Mom’s house. Good food. So weird,” I murmur. Mom gives me a swat.
“Auntie! Wild Wild Wolves! Please! Please!”
“Hi, Sophie! Not right now, sweetheart. ” I gather my niece up for a quick kiss, then set her down. “Ryan, prepare to meet the rest of the family. Gird your loins, pal. ” I lead him into the living room, where the rest of the family is crowded.
For a second, I see them as Ryan might…the tall, good-looking men, their attractive wives, the beautiful kids…the noise, the bickering, the shrieking, the running, the biting. Well, that’s just who we are.
“Guys, let me do this all at once,” I say loudly. “This is my boyfriend, Ryan Darling. Ryan, don’t even try to get everyone’s names, but here they are, my brothers, Matthew—you’ve already met him—there’s Mark, that one’s Luke, aka Lucky, and John, better known as Jack. My sisters-in-law, Sarah and Tara, also known as the Starahs, and Elaina, whom you may know from the hospital. ”
“Of course,” Ryan says. Elaina gives me her Latin head-wiggle—she’s already told me that she’s never met Ryan personally, just seen him around and listened to the gossip on him.
“And these are my nieces and nephews,” I continue, pointing out the kids as I list them. “Christopher, Graham, Claire, Olivia, Dylan, Sophie, Annie and Jenny. Questions? Comments? No? Good. How about a Bloody Mary?”
“Very nice to meet you all,” Ryan says rather grandly.
The Starahs descend upon Ryan, eager to screen him as my potential mate. The kids swarm me, their voices blending into one giant request. “Auntie! Auntie! Can we play Giant Baby/Wild Wild Wolves/hide-and-seek/push me on the swings? Can we? Can we? Huh? Please? Auntie! I’m talking to you!” I pick up Graham in one arm, Annie in the other, and nibble on their tasty little necks, causing them to squirm and giggle and demand more.
My mother joins the knot of appreciative women around Ryan, making sure everyone knows that Chastity’s Boyfriend brought her roses. Jack reminds Ryan of when his chopper delivered a trauma patient to the hospital last week, and they’re discussing the victim’s prognosis.
The doorbell rings, and, being closest to the door, I open it. It’s Trevor. And with him, Perfect Hayden.
“Holy crap,” I blurt, ever gracious. “Per—Wow! Hayden! How are you? Hi! Come on in!”
“Hi, Chastity,” she says, smiling coolly. “Nice to see you. ” Her straight, silky blond hair is cut into interesting layers and her clothes look expensive, classic and cool…and small. She’s a size six. Maybe a four.
“Hey, Chas,” Trevor says quietly, following her in.
The crowd grows quiet upon sighting the new arrivals. Whether she knows it or not, Perfect Hayden’s in enemy territory. She dumped our Trevor, and we haven’t forgiven her for breaking his valiant heart. The bitch.
But still. We’re not mean people at heart, and within a few minutes, she’s holding Jenny and talking to Sarah about life in Albany. She glances at me, her eyes sliding away just as I force a smile.
It’s so crowded in Mom’s living room, and so bleeping loud, kids everywhere, Perfect Hayden right in the middle of things. “Who wants to see Finding Nemo?” I ask, opening the door to the basement. The kids swarm after me like bees and drape themselves over the battered couch and LazyBoy chair that make up the seating choices down there.
“Okay, kids, there you go,” I say as the movie comes on. They don’t answer, slack-jawed and hypnotized already over this movie they’ve all seen a dozen times. Good. I need a moment.
My eyes feel hot. My heart is roaring in my ears. I note that my hands are shaking a little.
Matt comes galumphing down the stairs. “Hey. I’ll hang out with the kids. You go up to your boyfriend. ”
I force a smile. “Sure. Thanks, Mattie. ”
“You bet. The privilege of being single is that I don’t have to schmooze. ”
“Lucky boy,” I say. “Hey, what’s Hayden doing here? Did Trev say?” I make sure my voice stays light.
“Yeah, actually. They were hanging out this morning, I guess, and when she heard he was coming here, she asked if she could tag along. Said it would be nice to get to know us again. ”
Without quite meaning to, I make a rude snorting noise.
“She’s not bad, Chas,” Matt says.
“I thought he was seeing Angela,” I remind him. “My friend. Also, I thought we hated her, since she ditched Trevor. ”
“Whatever. ” Matt shrugs. “Kids, make room for Uncle Matt, okay?”
I trudge upstairs into the warm scent of pork and gravy. There’s Hayden, standing oh-so-close to Trevor, holding my niece, looking quite the nuclear family. What a sweet bleeping picture, dark-haired Trev, blond Perfect Hayden and one attractive baby. Freaking adorable. Matt said they were hanging out this morning. Which means she slept over. Which means—
“I love your family,” Ryan says into my ear, making me jump.
“Great!” I say. “Well, I told you they’d be crazy about you, too. ”
Ryan smiles his perfect smile and slips me a quick kiss. I can’t help but notice that Trevor is watching, and sure, it’s stupid, but I turn to Ryan and kiss him back.
“Ryan!” cries my mother, bustling out of the kitchen. “I remember you saying that you’re a surgeon! How lovely! Your parents must be so proud!”
“She’s using the Father Donnelly voice,” Jack comments.
“She doesn’t want Chas to blow it. She’s always wanted a doctor in the family,” Lucky answers.
I shoot my brothers a glance that promises pain and humiliation as my mother continues to babble.
“Thank you,” Ryan says. “They’re quite proud, yes. ” He squeezes my hand. “And eager to meet Chastity, of course. You’ve raised a wonderful daughter, Mrs. O’Neill. ” Lucky makes a choking noise.
“Oh! Call me Betty!” Mom cries merrily. “I’ve got to stir the gravy!” Another car pulls up in front of the house, and Mom peers out the window. Her voice drops out of the Father Donnelly range into the General Patton baritone we’re more accustomed to hearing. “Harry’s here,” she announces. “Boys. Behave. Do you understand me?” Her voice pitches up and she bustles to the kitchen door. “Harry! Hello! Come meet my children!”
Harry Thomaston is a handsome man, shorter than my father but robust, with silver hair and dark eyes. He kisses my mother on the cheek. “Hello everyone. ”
We all shake hands and exchange pleasantries, albeit with a considerable lack of sincerity. Harry looks at my mother with adoration plain in his eyes. It doesn’t feel good. None of us really believes that Mom and Dad will actually split up, despite their divorce. They’re too embedded with each other. But here she is, clucking and cooing like a pigeon, fluttering about Harry in an all too cheery way.
Ryan knows my parents are divorced, but he doesn’t know the details or personalities involved. “Ryan Darling,” he says, shaking Harry’s hand. “I’m Chastity’s significant other. ”
“Lucky man,” Harry says gallantly.
I can’t help but notice that Hayden is whispering in
to Trevor’s ear and smiling. Without thinking, I slip my arm around Ryan’s waist.
And so it begins. My one-sided contest of who makes a cuter couple.
My mother forces the kids to come upstairs and meet Harry. More introductions are made. Trevor swoops Dylan up in his arms, introduces him to Hayden as his godson, allows Sophie to climb on his back and mess up his hair. Clearly, Trevor is winning the “best with children” title.
To strike back, I summon Claire. “What do you think of my boyfriend?” I whisper loudly enough for all to hear. “Isn’t he so handsome?” Claire bursts into giggles, as I thought she would, and Ryan smiles gamely. Graham pleads with Trevor to be held, and Trev obliges. Therefore, I grab Christopher. “Guess what, Chris? Ryan reattaches limbs for a living. ”
“Awesome!” Christopher breathes with admiration.
“That’s not actually true,” Ryan says. “I’m not an orthopedist, though I assist with reattachments here and there. ”
“He’s more of a blood and guts man,” I say to my nephew. Ryan frowns. Yes, he’s a little stiff around the kids. He asks Chris about school, a subject guaranteed to suck the life out of any ten-year-old. But who can blame poor Ryan? My nieces and nephews are like a school of dolphins, leaping, diving, shrieking, eating. They must be overwhelming to a man from a small, quiet family.
“They’re all savages,” I whisper in Ryan’s ear, having to stand on tiptoe to do it. Well, I don’t really need to, but I do, just to reinforce the point that Ryan is taller than Trevor. I see Trev looking and take the opportunity to stroke Ryan’s neck. See? He’s a great guy, good-looking and smart, and I’m crazy about him. And the feeling is mutual. I’m well aware of my immaturity, but damn it! I can’t help it. I hate Perfect Hayden. She has yet to speak to me, except for the initial required hello. I feel like slugging her.
Jack and Sarah offer to supervise the kids in the kitchen. I envy them. Today’s a day I’d really like to be with the kids. It’s so awkward—Ryan being so bleeping polite, Perfect Hayden flipping her well-behaved hair, another man touching my mother.
Nonetheless, I wedge myself around the table with the other adults. Mark, I notice, sits next to Elaina, who doesn’t protest, shoot daggers at him or make that cool hissing noise. Ryan’s next to me—he holds my chair with the manners of a prince—and Perfect Hayden scoots around Tara to make sure she gets the place next to Trev. There’s an awkward moment when Mom ushers Harry to the head of the table. My brothers freeze, and Harry takes the hint. “I’ll sit next to you, Betty. Matthew, here, take this seat,” he offers. I give him points for grace under pressure. Mom shoots the boys her “I’ll beat you later” glare.
“So, Harry,” I say gamely, “Mom says you’re retired?”
“I am, Chastity,” he says, turning my way with a smile. “I recently sold my company, which made a tiny part of a computer chip. Not the most interesting work in the world to talk about, but I liked it. And now I’m trying to do more traveling. ”
“Great,” I say, stifling a sigh. A rich retiree who likes to travel. Dad is really blowing it. I take a bite of the tender pork. It’s fantastic. Unbelievable.
“Do you have any children?” Ryan asks.
“I have two daughters,” he says. “Martha, who’s forty-three and has a twelve-year-old son, and Greta, who’s thirty-seven and has three children, two boys and a girl. And you, Ryan? Any children?”
Ryan smiles crookedly, his eyes crinkling. I believe Tara sighs. “Not yet, Harry. But when the time comes, I’d love to have a couple. ” He looks at me meaningfully. My jaw clenches. Why do I feel I’ve just been given a mandate for motherhood? No one else says anything for a moment.
Just One of the Guys Page 33