by Sophie Stern
Wait, what was he talking about?
Move?
Zoey had moved?
The last I’d heard, she was back in Monterey and working at some digital media firm. I hadn’t looked her up on social media again after the night we’d been together, so if she’d updated her location, I hadn’t seen. I’d texted her and called her for a few days after our date, but I’d gotten the message loud and clear. She hadn’t wanted to see me again, so I’d finally stopped trying. I knew that if I told someone no, I would want them to respect me. I’d tried to do the same for Zoey.
“Wasn’t supposed to say anything about what?” I asked. Where had she moved to? Felix didn’t even have to answer me though, because I knew. Suddenly, it all made sense, and I felt...crushed. Tricked. Slightly betrayed. Why hadn’t anyone told me? Why was I the last to know? Her moving shouldn’t have been a secret. It was just...moving.
“She’s here,” he said finally. “She works downtown.” Felix looked over at me. He shrugged, as though he didn’t know what else to say. I felt a little bad for him. He’d tried to keep his sister’s secret, and he’d tried to keep his bride’s secret. He’d kept them both, for a little while. It was a lot of pressure for one guy to live up to.
“Really?” I asked, trying to be calm. “When did this happen?” I knew, realistically, that it wasn’t about me. It wasn’t, right? Just because she’d moved to the city where I lived, and nobody had told me, that wasn’t a personal jab. Only, it kind of felt like it was. It kind of felt like I didn’t get to know where Zoey lived because of what had happened between us.
“Last month it was all finalized,” he said. “She’s here now. I think she’s getting ready to start working on a big marketing project for some firm. I don’t know. My mind is just all over the place with the wedding and the baby,” he shook his head, and I felt bad for my friend. This wasn’t the time to wallow that his kid sister didn’t like me. Okay, so Zoey wasn’t exactly a kid anymore, but this still wasn’t the time to wallow.
“Hey,” I said, patting Felix’s shoulder. “You’re going to be great.”
“Really?” Felix asked, looking over at me. “You really think so?”
“I know so,” I said. “This baby is going to be so lucky.”
“What do you mean?”
“It’s going to have you as a dad,” I told him.
“You’re right,” he nodded, and then smiled. “But don’t let Lauren hear you use the word it.”
I chuckled and shook my head.
“Sorry,” I said. “That’s my bad. Do you know what you’re having?”
“Nope,” he said. “It’s supposed to be a surprise.”
“Got it.”
A car pulled into the parking lot and Lauren got out. She was accompanied by her mom and dad, as well as her sister. Felix’s dad also climbed out of the backseat. They’d really packed everyone in there, hadn’t they?
Lauren’s eyes were bright with excitement. She was grinning wildly, and she was touching her belly. Some secret. I looked for a moment, but then I realized nobody else was getting out of the car with them.
“No Zoey?” I asked.
“She’ll be here,” Felix said confidently. “She’s supposed to be riding with Heath.”
“With Heath?” My head swung around. “The other groomsman?”
“Yeah,” Felix said. He didn’t seem to notice the fact that this rankled me because his attention was focused solely on Lauren. She really did look beautiful. She was wearing a pink dress that showed off her cleavage, and her dark hair was down. She was looking at Felix like he was the last man alive, and that made me happy.
Good.
My best friend deserved to be happy.
He deserved to have someone who made him smile and laugh and feel great.
And me?
Well, I just wanted to get a chance to talk to Zoey and to explain. I’d tried calling her, texting her, and before I’d given up, I’d even tried emailing her. She’d never responded. She’d just been radio silent. It was the ultimate ghosting, and part of me felt like I deserved it. There was another part of me that thought she was being an idiot.
If she’d given me a chance to explain, I would have just told her that Debra and I weren’t together. My story for Zoey had been true. It hadn’t been part of some ploy to sleep together. Perhaps more importantly, I hadn’t really understood why I’d told her what I did. I wasn’t exactly the kind of person who talked about my feelings. Not often, anyway. I certainly didn’t talk about my feelings with the women I dated.
Debra had hurt me. She’d been horrible to me, and I had frozen when she’d come into the office. She’d had a simple legal question and I’d been polite and helpful to her, but when she’d left and Zoey had seen...well, I should have been much clearer that Debra and I weren’t a thing. We had not been a thing for a very, very long time. More importantly, we were never going to be a thing ever, ever again. Never. There was no reality in which I would ever consider getting back together with her. That was done and over.
“Hey,” Lauren waved as she approached us with her parents, her future father-in-law, and Sally. Everyone hugged Felix and spoke excitedly about the plans for the evening. I couldn’t tell who was more excited: Lauren or her mother. This was the last wedding in their family, after all, and she was very excited to play mother-of-the-bride. Lauren was the last of their kids to get married, and I had the feeling that Lauren’s mom felt this was a little bittersweet.
“Great to see you,” Sally told me, catching my attention. She smiled and gave a little wave.
“Likewise,” I said. Sally leaned in to give me a polite hug, and I accepted. She was married with three kids of her own. She wasn’t exactly a threat when it came to giving Zoey the wrong impression. Why did I care so much about that, anyway?
It bothered me that Zoey thought I was a player. I wasn’t. I hadn’t been. In fact, what I’d wanted to do was spend more time with her. I thought she was returning to California for good, so I had tried my best to put her out of my head. I’d even gone on a couple of dates. I hadn’t slept with anyone, but I probably should have. It was just that in my mind, nobody really compared to Zoey.
Nobody could be good enough, so I wouldn’t even try.
Maybe that was a terrible attitude. I wasn’t sure. It probably wasn’t healthy, though. Zoey and I had enjoyed a little weekend fling, and that was all it had been. Only, I had been hurt when she’d immediately jumped to conclusions about me and Debra. I didn’t care that Zoey wanted space. Everyone was entitled to space. She hadn’t just wanted space, though. She’d gotten the completely wrong idea about me, and she hadn’t even given me the chance to explain. That was what had hurt.
It was time to get started with the rehearsal. Everyone was there aside from two people. We headed inside of the church to meet with the pastor. He was waiting inside with a big grin. He welcomed everyone to the church, and he hugged the bride and groom. This was a guy that loved weddings.
“We’re just waiting on a couple of people,” Lauren said. She looked over her shoulder toward the doors of the church, but Zoey and Heath didn’t magically appear. “Can you call her?” Lauren asked Felix. She seemed a little nervous that they weren’t here yet, and I had to admit that it was definitely a little strange.
“Sure.”
He stepped aside to give his sister a call. It really was a little bit odd that they hadn’t arrived at the church yet. The maid of honor was supposed to be at the rehearsal, and Heath might not have been the best man, but he was still important to Felix. If he didn’t show up, he wasn’t going to be able to do his duties. Almost as soon as Felix lifted the phone to his ear, the doors to the church burst open, and Heath and Zoey came running inside.
“I’m sorry!” Zoey cried out. “Sorry we’re late. Sorry!” She looked wildly embarrassed. Her hair was a little messed up and a tiny bit frizzy. Her dress was wrinkled, and one of her shoelaces was untied. Normally, I’d think it was stran
ge to wear Converse to a rehearsal dinner but coupled with her black skirt and white corset top, it worked. She looked incredible.
She also looked like she’d just been fucked.
Instantly, my heart started racing. Zoey and Heath? Were they an item? I silently reminded myself not to jump to conclusions. I also reminded myself that Zoey and I were not an item. We’d never been an item. There was nothing about this that should upset me. I’d be a big boy, and I’d deal with the situation in a polite, respectable way.
I’d lived a wonderful life before Zoey Lane sucked my dick.
I could continue living a wonderful life.
“Glad you could make it,” Lauren rushed over and hugged everyone. “Is everything okay?”
“Car trouble,” Zoey said. She shot a sideways glance at me. So, she did know I existed. “Heath got a flat. I’m really sorry. We put the donut on, but it took us a little while.”
Heath looked a little embarrassed, and I suddenly felt bad for him. Apparently, he hadn’t known how to change a tire. He was one of our buddies from undergrad. He hadn’t gone to law school with us, but we kept in touch with him. He was a good guy. He had a kind heart. That was probably what Felix liked about him. It was definitely worthy of being in the wedding.
“Sorry,” Heath mumbled. Then he looked at Felix. “I should have called you, man.”
“It’s cool,” Felix nodded.
“Well then,” the pastor rubbed his hands together. “Everyone’s here now?”
“Ready and accounted for,” Felix nodded.
“Then let’s get started.”
“WHO KNEW THERE WERE so many ways to walk wrong?” Zoey mumbled after we’d walked down the aisle together for the fifth time. Touching her had felt like magic the first time, but we’d been rehearsing for the wedding for over an hour, and we were all hungry and tired. Lauren desperately wanted everything to be perfect, and while I loved and respected her, it was getting to be a bit much.
“Just keep smiling,” I said to Zoey. “You’re doing a great job.”
“Thanks,” she whispered. “I just need to fake it well enough for them to let us leave.”
“Big plans tonight?”
“Not with Heath, if that’s what you mean,” she looked over at me, trying to gauge whether I was jealous or not. “He just drove me here.”
I cringed a little at the insinuation that I might be upset about her seeing someone. Zoey and I weren’t together. We weren’t. I didn’t have any right to be bothered or upset if she and Heath were together.
“Was my question that obvious?”
“Not to anyone else,” Zoey said kindly. “Just to me. I know that I would have felt jealous if I’d seen you show up with someone else, too.”
“Is that so?”
“Yeah,” she nodded. “That’s so. Then again, I always get a little jealous when it comes to you.” She looked over at me almost shyly. Was she being serious right now? I couldn’t tell what the right response was. She’d blown me off for months, and she’d moved to town, and now it almost sounded like she was coming onto me.
I didn’t want to get hurt, I realized suddenly. I liked her a lot. Regardless of everything that had happened between us, I liked her. I craved her, even. Still, I knew that if Zoey and I were going to give this thing a shot, if we were going to go for round two, then we needed to be honest with each other, and we needed to have a really long talk about our expectations for the future. Communication was the one place our friendship had fallen short, I realized.
My heart hurt a little as I realized that I’d been aching for her to tell me she was sorry, that she wanted me. Now that we were physically together, touching and talking, I just wanted her even more, but we needed to talk. We needed to both be honest, and we needed to be truthful about what we wanted.
I was saved from having to say anything else because Lauren was finally satisfied with the way everyone was walking. She called everyone to the front of the church so we could go over a few final details, and then after the pastor said a short prayer, we were all free to leave to go to dinner.
“Thanks for putting up with me,” Lauren came over and hugged me. Then she hugged Zoey. “You two look so beautiful together,” she said. “I seated you together at the restaurant, too.” She hurried off before either one of us could say anything.
“I’m sorry,” I said to Zoey. I saw the look on her face. She looked disappointed, maybe even frustrated by this arrangement.
“For what?”
“Us being seated together.”
“You are?” Zoey seemed a little startled by my comment. “Oh, shit, David, you know, I mean, I could ask Felix, and...”
I reached for her chin and tilted it up toward me so that she’d stop talking. I looked at those beautiful lips, and I tried my best not to think about what they looked like wrapped around my cock.
“You’ve avoided me for months, princess. I thought it was fair to assume you didn’t want to sit beside me.” My words were quiet, but true. Was I right in thinking she didn’t want to be around me? Or had my inkling that she was flirting been the more correct interpretation of Miss Zoey?
“David, you’re all wrong about me,” she said.
“I think you’re the one who’s wrong about me.”
“I saw you with your girlfriend,” she whispered, licking her lips. I realized I was still holding her chin, so I dropped my hand. Zoey didn’t make a move to step back, though. She just stayed right where she was.
“She wasn’t my girlfriend. You didn’t give me a chance to explain.”
“But I heard her,” Zoey cocked her head, confused. She pressed her fingers to her lips. “And she kissed you.”
“Sexual assault in a legal office,” I said drily, “is quite brazen. I agree.” It still rankled me that I’d tried to keep the peace at the office instead of calling her out or booting her ass from the office entirely.
“You mean, you weren’t together?”
“She was my ex, Zoey. She was the one I told you about.” Part of me still couldn’t believe I’d been so bold as to tell her about Debra. On some level, it had seemed like a mistake. On another...
Well, on another, it had felt right. Zoey was the kind of person I could trust. She’d always been kind and compassionate. She’d always been sweet and wonderful.
“I feel like a total idiot,” she whispered.
“You aren’t an idiot.”
“I’m sorry I blew you off,” she whispered looking up at me, but just then, Lauren and Felix came barreling into the area we were standing. They were laughing and excited and anxious.
“Let’s go!” Lauren said. “We’re going to be late to the restaurant. Everyone, let’s go!”
“Could I, uh, hitch a ride with someone?” Heath asked, raising his hand. He looked around awkwardly, as though he’d never had to ask anyone for a ride before. It was almost endearing, but I felt a little bad for him.
“I got you,” Felix said. “I drove separately from Lauren.” Felix turned my way and jerked his head toward Zoey. “I trust you can deliver my little sister to the restaurant?”
“You got it,” I said.
Zoey was silent as we left the church. Everyone went to their cars and started driving. The two of us climbed into mine and got our seatbelts on in silence. Then Zoey turned to look at me. I was quiet as I pulled out of the parking lot and headed toward the restaurant.
“You know,” she finally said. “It seems that twice my inability to confront you head-on has led to problems for our friendship.”
“I think we’re a little more than friends, princess.”
“What are we, David?”
“Oh, friends with benefits at the very least,” I winked at her, and she seemed to relax. “But if I’m being honest with you, Zoey, and you deserve that, I care about you very deeply.”
I hadn’t planned to tell her that. I hadn’t planned to say that I liked her a lot or that I thought about her all of the time. I’d been ca
reful not to let her know just how much she meant to me, but maybe that had been wrong. All of our problems had stemmed from not communicating. It was ironic because most of the time, when I was sexual with someone, it was in a BDSM setting. That world revolved almost entirely around open communication. Somehow, though, with Zoey, I kept on holding back.
She did, too.
“I care about you, too.”
“The fact that you blew me off tells a different story,” I said gently.
“Does it tell you that I was scared?” Zoey asked, raising her voice a little. She was nervous. The high-pitched tone of her question told me that.
“Partly,” I said.
“I was scared,” she told me. “And I was wrong.”
I wondered what that meant for us. What did it mean for our future? Was there a chance that Zoey Lane and I could be something wonderful?
Or were the two of us too damaged for yet another chance?
10
Zoey
The rehearsal dinner was the most boring event I’d been to in years, maybe ever. While my brother definitely knew how to throw a roaring 30th birthday party, his ability to arrange a rehearsal dinner completely sucked. He and Lauren were both on edge. They weren’t doing anything fun after, either. There weren’t going to be bachelor and bachelorette parties because Lauren’s mom didn’t think those were appropriate. Besides, Lauren was pregnant and couldn’t drink.
Oh, she and Felix were being idiots about that. It was obvious to anyone with a brain that Lauren was knocked up. It was dumb that they tried to keep it a secret because nobody cared about that stuff anymore. You didn’t have to have a shotgun wedding, and even if you did, literally nobody blinked twice about it. The idea of getting married because you were having a kid was a little crazy to me, but judgement? That wasn’t something I had in me. Nobody did.
Everyone talked as they ate. Heath was on my right and David was on my left. Heath kept trying to engage me in small talk and ask me how I liked Kansas City. I kept trying to tell him that I’d gone to high school here and that it wasn’t exactly a new place for me, but he just didn’t understand. I hadn’t spent a lot of time with Felix when he was in college, so I hadn’t gotten to know Heath or any of his other college friends.