by Brown, Tara
“No, I remember the last time. It was only a few weeks ago.” I scoff.
“Six weeks yesterday,” he says, stepping closer and lifting his hands to my cheeks. “But that was nothing.” He lowers and kisses me softly.
This time there are no cats or sisters or distractions. It’s just us.
The kiss deepens as his hands slide down my neck and arms.
I press myself against his firm chest, climbing up into the embrace. He walks us, moving through the house as if this isn’t his first time weaving with a girl—nope. Not thinking about it.
Kicking off my shoes, I climb onto the bed and let him come to me. But he doesn’t. He stands there, leaning against the door.
“What are you doing?” I ask as I drag my shirt off.
He has a strange glint in his eyes. “It’s better than I imagined it.”
“What is?”
“Seeing you in my bed again.” The admission sends that tingle running through me once more. He too pulls off his shirt and walks to me, climbing on the bed and pushing me back. He hovers over me, again staring for a second before lowering.
He kisses me with the passion I recall from weeks ago. He’s intense and yet careful and tantalizing with every touch. His fingers knead and grip and whisper over me as he lies next to me and pulls me in.
His hands on me trail fire in every direction.
Sex with him isn’t simple. There’s a weird feeling of coming home. He’s still beautiful and confident but now he’s a giver of earth-trembling moments I’ve never experienced before.
I find myself gripping the sheets and praying to the unholiest of gods.
It’s exactly how I imagined this moment. Fifteen years of imagining has come to life.
Chapter 27
April 30
“Lil, can I get some water, please?” Liz calls from my bedroom where she has taken up residence. It’s been weeks now. The stairs at their house were forbidden so she moved in with me to enjoy the perks of having an at-home maid service and an elevator. The walk-in shower in my bathroom is another perk.
“Of course,” I call back and walk into the kitchen from my office that looks like a tornado hit it. Working from home has turned into me working a lot more than I should.
When I get into the bedroom, I smile. She’s curled up with Romeo and wiping her face because she’s watching Love Actually. I can’t watch it yet. The Alan Rickman and Emma Thompson storyline hits a little too hard still. But it switches to the ridiculous scene in the American bar with the sexy girls when I get into the room.
I place the water down and scratch Romeo’s soft ears. I love that they’re too small for his fluffy head. “How are you feeling?” I ask, as I do every couple of hours.
“Good. Bored. Ready for this life-sucking beast to leave my body.” Her answers are always the same but in different order.
“Two weeks and it’s over.”
“Thirteen days. Not two weeks.” She doesn’t meet my gaze, letting me know she would prefer to continue with her Christmas-movie marathon in peace.
“Right, thirteen days.” I chuckle and leave them in peace.
Shawnee sends me a photo into our chat. It’s her and Anthony smiling.
It’s been almost a month and she has never been this smitten. I send a GIF of a girl squeezing two teddy bears and saying, I just love you both. Clearly, Anthony isn’t taking the workday as seriously as I am as I head back into my office to keep on trucking. Not that I blame him, as someone who has spent thirty years hanging out with Shawnee, I would ditch work to be with her too.
Rod’s name flashes at me from an invoice that has obviously been sent to me incorrectly. I email it on to Simone, unsure who handles Rod’s paperwork.
His name distracts me. I end up on Facebook, creeping. It’s an odd trigger and response but I can’t seem to fight it.
His profile picture has been updated four days ago with a new photo of him and Elaine. Evidently, they’re back together.
I scroll through his posts, surprised when I find he’s changed his Facebook status from “it’s complicated” to “in a relationship” with her.
Hating them both just a bit, I search for Brent’s profile and grin seeing Bear in every new picture. Brent’s even wearing a mask in a few of them, something not all Nova Scotians are doing. The sickness doesn’t feel real here. It has hardly touched us.
The nonessential services remain closed, but they are already talking about reopening mid-May.
There’s a hint of excitement at the idea of being in the world again, getting haircuts and eating with other people and being allowed in parks.
My hair is a disaster. I was so preoccupied with moving and leaving Rod that I didn’t book myself in. Now my dark-brown hair has streaks of tinsel through it and the cut is grown out. So it’s shaggy. The never-ending messy bun has become something of a signature look for me.
A weird scratching sound catches my attention. I get up and walk to the front door where Romeo is standing on his back legs and scraping at the door rapidly. It’s the weirdest thing he’s done yet.
“What are you doing?” I ask, laughing at him.
But he’s determined to keep it up.
“Is something out there?” I walk to him, unlocking the door and opening it.
He scurries out into the hallway and shoots to the doorway across the hall. He stands on his back feet like a gopher and does the same thing. Scratching at the door.
“Hey.” I hurry over and scoop him up. “You can’t do that, crazy pants. Come on. That’s not our door.” I kiss his forehead, something he is not fond of and carry him back into our place.
As I close the door, I hear the door across from us open. But by the time I turn around and peek in the peephole, the door is closing.
“You are bad,” I scold Romeo who gives me a savage expression as an answer. “Bad.” I kiss his forehead again and put him down. He sits, tail and ears twitching. He is not happy with me. “Behave yourself.” I point back at him as I stroll into my office to chain myself to the desk to get back to work.
Romeo comes into the doorway of the office and sits, giving me the stink eye.
He meows.
“I’m not letting you into the hallway to scratch at strangers’ doors. You little monkey.”
He sniffs and turns, walking back out. Tail twitching and all.
“What a crazy cat,” I mutter as I lift my home phone from the desk and call Doreen to double-check the account in front of me.
She answers straightaway, “Lil, how’s it going?”
“Good, you know. Same old. How’s it there?” She and Matt have been working in the office, the only two people there.
“Busy.” She pauses and I have a bad feeling about what she’s about to say next. “Rod’s Facebook—”
“Right.” I wince. “Yeah, we are separated. I updated my address with Janice. I’ve moved into the city actually. Not far from work.”
“I’m so sorry,” she says sweetly but something she’s not saying haunts her tone.
“It’s not a big deal,” I reply in hopes this is what she was looking for. “He and I have always made certain that our paths never crossed at work. He’s residential property management and I’m commercial accounting. We never saw each other at work before.”
“Oh, okay. That’s good news. I didn’t want to ask, but Matt and I want to make sure you’re all right. As our best accountant, we needed to be sure you would be comfortable at work.” She is delicate. I can’t imagine how this would be coming from Matt.
“I’m completely comfortable. Have you spoken to Rod?” I ask the thing I shouldn’t.
“No. He’s been working remotely. Hasn’t checked in much. And when he does, he’s all smiles and joking. You know Rod.”
“I do,” I say with a sigh. “Honestly, you don’t have to worry about it. He’ll be fake and I’ll be tucked away in my office and never the twain shall meet.”
“Excellent.” She sounds l
ighter. “Now what can I help you with?”
I fake a smile so my voice is pleasant and continue the call. But deep down, not deep enough though, I wonder what might have happened if I’d said I couldn’t work with him.
Did I just save Rod’s job?
Chapter 28
May 1
Sitting on the window seat with Romeo in my lap, I smile as I think about yesterday.
“Lil, can you get me another pillow? My back is hurting.”
“Yeah!” I place Romeo on the cushion and stand, immediately falling back onto the seat. Romeo jumps up, startled by my reaction. It takes a minute for the room to stop spinning. I haven’t had a dizzy spell like this one in a while, but I also haven’t eaten yet today and it’s after lunch.
I get my bearings and stand up gradually this time, walking to my bedroom. My stomach is fluttering when I pass Liz a pillow and help her adjust it. I need to remember to get something to eat.
“Twelve days,” I say when she grunts a thanks. Reminding her this is the final stretch. She’s so done it’s not funny.
She grumbles again, this time not forming actual words, and continues with her movie, Four Christmases. She’s been watching Christmas movies nonstop.
A knock at the door draws my attention. It has to be Sam. Anyone else would have called up to be buzzed in. I want to hurry but I walk slowly so I don’t fall again, still feeling funky. I answer without looking, surprised when I find Anthony from work here. He’s not wearing a mask. “Hi,” I say, not inviting him in. Not certain he wants to come in wearing workout clothes and a backpack.
“Hey, Lil. I have some papers for you. They were brought to the office when I stopped in quick. Doreen asked if I could drop them to you since I always run by this building.”
“Sure. But you’re not wearing a mask. My sister is high risk. Can you—?”
“Oh God, I’m so sorry. I never wear them running.” He reaches into his pocket and pulls a proper mask out and some hand sanitizer. He squeezes it on his hands and rubs them together. “How is Liz?”
“Good,” I say, forgetting that he knows Liz. He was being mentored by James for real estate. “Come on in.” I step back. “How did you get into the building?”
“A guy was leaving as I was coming up. A client of James’. We remembered each other. He’s a doctor at the IWK and lives in here.”
“Sam,” I say with a smile.
“Yes, what a hot guy.” He whistles and walks in. He pulls off the backpack and begins rummaging in it.
“Yeah, he is.” I have to bite my lip from saying anything else. Just mentioning his name reminds me of yesterday and the mind-blowing sex we had.
“Is that Anthony?” Liz calls when she hears our voices.
“Hey, Liz!” he yells back.
“How’s it going?”
“Good,” he shouts and doesn’t try to walk closer. “How are you feeling?”
“Done. As. Fuck.”
We laugh.
“She’s a bitter bitch this week,” I mutter as my door buzzer rings. “Sorry, just a second.” I reach for the door buzzer. “Hi,” I say into the mic, expecting Shawnee who was on her way over.
“Hey,” she says back.
I press the button and buzz her in. I turn back to Anthony. “My friend is coming over.”
“Cool. I haven’t seen any friends in a month. Mine are—uhhh—irresponsible.” He winks and I laugh, assuming he means they’re still hooking up with people.
“My bubble has been small. I’ve seen Shawnee, Sam, my sister, and James. And now you. It’s been a lonely time.”
“Yeah, but my dad’s family lives in Italy and I’d rather be here, safe and lonely.” He shrugs.
“Totally. Covid hair is nothing compared to Covid lung.”
Shawnee knocks, saving me from more of Anthony humbling me for my first world problems. “I’ll get it.” Anthony reaches over and answers the door.
“Hi?” Shawnee says funnily as her eyes meet his.
“Hi.” He smiles back and there is a tone, as if he is pleasantly surprised by this.
“Anthony, this is Shawnee. She’s a famous photographer. Don’t let her tell you otherwise.” I wink at her. “And, Shawnee, this is Anthony, one of the newer property managers at work who will likely be running the place in two years.”
“Oh, you work with Lil?” Shawnee takes her mask off, beaming.
“I do. I love it. It’s such a diverse job. And I am taking my real estate course as well.” He nods back at me as if I am barely here. “Lil’s brother-in-law, James, has been mentoring me. Well, he was before the plague hit,” he jokes, flashing another smile.
Shawnee meets his smile and adds a little eyelash batting. And suddenly I’m Bambi and Shawnee and Anthony are the rabbits.
“James is the best,” Shawnee gushes. “He sold me my place. And he helped my parents buy their house.”
“That’s awesome. He really is such a cool guy and sharp at real estate. I think he might be one of the most successful realtors in the city.”
“Oh, he is,” Shawnee confirms. “He’s a platinum realtor. Top five in the city.”
“Wow,” Anthony adds as if he didn’t already know that. “And photography, huh? That’s cool.”
“Yeah, it’s fun. I did just do a cool photo shoot in Lunenburg before lockdown.” She opens her phone and holds it out so he can see. She never shows her pictures to anyone except me. This is huge.
“Kimathi?” His brow knits as he stares at her website’s name on the phone. “Is your dad Dr. Adamu Kimathi? The psychiatrist?”
“How do you know him?” She’s surprised.
“He was doing a series on success in business and the connection it has with athletes. I went to the lectures. It was amazing. He’s a genius.”
Realizing I am no longer needed nor part of this conversation, I move carefully and slip the bags from her hands and carry them into the kitchen. The Deep‘n Delicious cake is calling to me. I flip off the lid and wash my hands before grabbing a fork and taking a bite.
It’s dinner and a show, watching Shawnee and Anthony hit it off. This never happens. Her last breakup a couple of years ago was savage, and she’s been on a man ban for a while.
He doesn’t schmooze or compliment her. He’s genuine and has her opening up. I’m a quarter of the way through the cake when she starts talking about the underground railroad and her father’s family. Not that she has to, he knows her dad’s biography.
I take the cake and another fork and walk into my bedroom. They don’t even notice me.
But Liz does. Her eyes widen. “Cake?”
“Shawnee and Anthony are twitterpated so I don’t think we have to share.” I hand her a fork and sit on the bed.
“Nice. He’s a hottie. He has an actual six pack,” she says casually, as if the fact bores her. “I saw it last summer when we went swimming. He’s great with kids too.” She takes a bite and we sit and watch a Christmas movie and eat cake as Shawnee falls in love.
Chapter 29
May 1
“I am in love,” Shawnee gushes into the phone as I finish off an email and send it.
“I’m so happy for you. Anthony is the nicest guy. And such a smokeshow.”
“And smart. He’s insanely smart. Like the eight years should bug me but honestly, he’s so grown up. He’s the one with his act together.” She sighs.
“I think he was born with his act together. He’s just one of those people.” I turn off the computer and get up to stretch my legs. It’s the end of the day and week. I walk into the kitchen to find Romeo sitting at the door again.
He gives me that sassy look and flicks his tail.
Shawnee groans into the phone. “We’re having dinner at his parents’ house. An outside social-distance dinner. I’m nervous as hell.”
“Why?” I laugh.
“Because I’m eight years older and Black—”
“Okay, whoa. We both agree that I don’t know what it’s
like. Being a White person I don’t understand. So maybe I’m talking out of my ass here. But if Anthony loves you, which I suspect he loved you the moment his eyes met yours, why would he bring you to his parents’ house if there was a chance of an issue?”
“You guys don’t think about that. You don’t even know your family is racist until it’s happening.”
“That’s fair.” She has a point. “But don’t go in assuming. His dad’s family are immigrants. His mom’s family are hardcore Nova Scotians. I think his mom’s dad even has a lobster boat. So they mixed their family up with two unique nationalities. He is half Italian and half lobster fisherman. It could go either way.”
“You’re right,” she relents.
“Anyway, I know you don’t like when it has to be done, but Anthony will stick up for you. And your relationship. But don’t assume they don’t like you because you tan better than they do. It could very well be the age gap,” I tease. “Cougar hunted their baby boy.”
“I’m not taking advice from someone who last had sex with Rod Dallin almost a year ago.”
“It was a hundred and ninety-two days ago. Not three sixty.”
We burst out laughing.
“That is sad.”
“The saddest. I saw a joke about running in my flip-flops so I could remember what it sounded like to have someone spank my ass and I almost cried.” I open a bottle of wine and pour a heavy glass. “But no sex is better than Rod sex.”
“Amen.”
“But back to the important stuff. Give his family a chance. They raised him and he’s amazing. And sexy.”
“I will.” She smiles. I hear it in her voice. “And if he has a hot brother, I’ll bring him home for you.”
“Deal. Text me when it’s done.”
“I will. Bye.”
The call ends and I take a large drink of wine.
Romeo is scratching at the door again.
“You little nut, there is nothing out there.” I walk over and open the door again so he can see. There is nothing but an empty hallway. Immediately, he runs across the hall and rubs against the door.