by Evie Drae
He’d spent his formative years convinced he’d somehow made his mom sick and allowed her to die. Because he hadn’t been good enough. Because he hadn’t behaved as he should have.
And Ray never let him forget it. Even today, when his adult brain should be smart enough to fend off the irrational accusations, Ellis still let Ray get to him.
“Hellooo.” Suzette snapped her fingers in Ellis’s face, jerking him back to the present. She squinted an eye. “Did you hear a word I said?”
Ellis sighed and massaged his temple. No, he hadn’t, but he could guess what he’d missed, and it wouldn’t make a damn bit of difference to how he’d respond. “Look, I’ll do my best to get by the house on my next day off, but you might want to ask Ray to call a contractor. It might be a while before I can find the time.”
Suzette popped another bubble and huffed through her nose. “It’s your crappy old house. That means it’s your job to fix it. You wanna pay someone else to do it, fine, but that ain’t Dad’s responsibility.”
When she flounced off with a half-assed wave goodbye, Ellis dropped his head back and swallowed a groan. It was true. The house was his, although Ray certainly didn’t see it that way. Nor did the bank.
When Ellis had taken on the job as caretaker at twenty-one and moved into his current living situation, his stepfather had done more than kick him out. He’d also threatened to sell the house. His mom’s house. The only home Ellis had ever known, and the only physical space that still held memories of his mother. There was no way he could allow Ray to sell it, so he’d offered to take over the mortgage until he had enough credit to buy it outright for himself.
Which had proven harder than he thought it would, considering most of his meager salary went toward paying down a debt not even in his name.
Trudging toward the old green room for a change of clothes so he could shower off the funk of the day, Ellis pulled his cell from the side cargo pocket on his shorts and thumbed the unlock button. To his surprise, he had several missed text messages from Henry.
The first had been sent before the show started.
Hey. I doubt you’ll see this until after we wrap, which is for the best because you gotta stay safe up there, but I wanted to say thanks again for last night. Hope we can schedule a repeat… for tonight?
Another message had come through around the same time the last stage lights had gone dark. Before the house lights had even turned on.
Damn, I could really use a drink. Tell me you’re free.
Ellis chuckled as he scrolled to the third message. This one had come in about twenty minutes prior.
I’ve been around the block enough to know you riggers work way too hard. I’m gonna assume you’re still up in the sky and not just ignoring me.
When Ellis revealed the last message—sent only five minutes ago—with one final swipe of his thumb, his chuckle turned into a full-on laugh.
I’m showered and hangry. At this point, say no at your own risk, my man. I’ll be waiting in the green room, but the longer you keep me here without sustenance, the more frequent and pleading these messages will get. I have no shame, and I’m not afraid to use that to my advantage.
Sighing, Ellis checked his watch and grimaced. Even if he wanted to—which, he definitely did—going out at this hour was out of the question. He had an early morning date with the gridiron and was already running on fumes.
To avoid an accidental encounter with Henry that might make his refusal all the more difficult, Ellis decided to skip the shower and head straight for bed. In the safety of his room, he propped his pillow against the wall and leaned into it before typing out a reply, cringing as he hit Send.
I wish I could say yes, but I’ve got a long day tomorrow. Rain check again?
There was a long pause before his phone vibrated in his hand.
That’s cool. Sleep’s important. I’ll let you be tonight, but no promises I won’t hop on the harassment bus again tomorrow. Stubbornness is one of my best virtues. You’ll get used to it. Or you won’t. Either way, it’s still gonna happen.
Ellis frowned at his screen, wishing like hell he didn’t have to say no, and praying the next time Henry did reach out—if there was a next time—Ellis wouldn’t have to decline again.
Feed the hangry beast before it gets the better of you. G’night.
Barely a moment passed before those three little dots popped up, followed by a swift response that brought a ridiculous grin to Ellis’s lips for reasons he didn’t dare acknowledge.
Til tomorrow. Sweet dreams, E.
Chapter Six
“Good thing you ordered enough food to feed an army, because I’m starving.”
Cinder glanced up and smirked as his closest friend, Kumiko, and her wife, Lizbeth, sauntered into his dressing room. His DoorDash delivery—which they’d retrieved for him from the hotel’s main lobby—dangled from Lizbeth’s fingers, and Kumiko raised a questioning brow his direction. He motioned to the stainless-steel-and-glass coffee table with a jerk of his chin and returned his attention to the frustrating silence of his phone. “Help yourselves.”
“Seriously, Cin, did you order the whole menu or what? You weren’t planning a party you forgot to invite us to, were you?” Lizbeth dumped the bags on the table and greedily dug through their contents until she found something that piqued her interest. After snagging a set of plasticware, she flopped onto the couch beside him and dug into one of the countless pasta dishes Cinder had ordered from a local Italian restaurant.
Kumiko perched on the arm of the couch closest to Cinder and set to work kneading the tense muscles at his nape. “What’s eating at you, boo?”
If anyone would notice Cinder’s darkening mood as of late, it would be Kumiko. He sometimes thought she knew him better than his own parents ever had. Sighing, he closed his eyes and leaned into the much-needed massage.
On his other side, Lizbeth bumped his thigh with her own and added her two cents. “You know you can talk to us about anything, right? I mean, the godfather of our child is as close to family as it gets without counting all that genetics crap that means next to nothing in my book.”
It took a beat, but her words sank into Cinder’s addled brain and his eyes flashed open. He jerked free of Kumiko’s touch and stood, whirling to face Lizbeth’s grinning face and the playful exasperation flashing over Kumiko’s regal features.
“Hold the phone. Godfather?”
Rubbing her palms on the soft cotton of her black yoga pants—her standard uniform outside of show hours—Kumiko darted a glance at her wife, who winked before stuffing another forkful of pasta into her mouth, then shifted her gaze to meet Cinder’s. “Lizbeth is pregnant.”
“She’s…” Cinder shook his head, a grin tugging at his lips. “Well, shit. Congratulations, you two. That’s huge.”
Kumiko shrugged, then leaned across Cinder’s recently vacated seat to brush an auburn curl off Lizbeth’s brow. The pure adoration as their eyes locked in a silent but brief exchange was enough to flood Cinder with equal parts joy and envy. When Kumiko’s attention returned to him, he schooled all the childish jealousy from his features and grinned. She beamed back and tilted her chin. “There’s always a chance in vitro won’t work, and those first few months of pregnancy hold so many risks. I hope you aren’t upset we didn’t tell you until now. We wanted to be sure it was really happening before we shared the news.”
Cinder waved off her words with a flick of the wrist. “Don’t you dare apologize. There is absolutely no reason you should’ve involved me in this. I’m thrilled to be let in on the good news now, but my third-wheel status does not stretch into your private marital life.”
“I know, boo, but…” Kumiko sighed and stood, closing the short distance between them. She wrapped her slim arms around Cinder’s waist, resting her head on his shoulder and humming in appreciation when he returned the embrace. “We love you. You know that, right?”
He nodded against her soft, silky cap of black hair,
then kissed her crown. “I know, and I love you both too. Hell, apparently all three of you now.”
Lizbeth groaned and leapt off the couch, abandoning her pasta as she darted over to join the love fest. She nestled under Cinder’s outstretched arm and hugged Kumiko’s waist until they fit together like the misfit puzzle pieces they were—reshaped by years of facing down the world as a united front until they’d molded into the inseparable trio they were today. “No getting sappy on me, you two. I’m a hormone monster right now. If you make me cry, you’ll pay for it later.”
Cinder hugged the two most important people in his life and tried like hell to focus on their joy and ignore the selfish twinge of anxiety their good news brought to light. They would never leave him. Motherhood might mean a new adventure he couldn’t be part of, but it didn’t mean he’d lose them altogether.
Still, with the growing number of personal pity parties he’d thrown himself lately, it wasn’t a surprise his excitement had been dampened by his dual fear of abandonment and lifelong loneliness. They were at the forefront of his mind, after all.
“So.” Kumiko poked a manicured fingernail into Cinder’s ribs. “Our cat’s outta the bag. Obviously, you’re the godfather. You don’t even get a choice to say yes or no, it just is.”
“Yep.” Lizbeth nodded against Cinder’s shoulder. “And now that’s out and decided, it’s your turn to spill the beans. We’re worried about you.”
Cinder planted a kiss on both his girls’ foreheads before stepping free of their joint hold and falling back to the couch with a heavy sigh. Lizbeth sat back beside him, curling her slender, tattoo-covered legs under her butt as she tackled the pasta once more. Kumiko chose the coffee table in front of him rather than returning to the couch arm.
He offered a half smile before dropping his gaze to the silent phone clutched in his hand. “Remember that guy I had dinner and drinks with last week?”
Kumiko nodded, her brows pinching. “Sure, the one you’d originally met during the kickoff party, right? Do we need to beat his ass?”
A laugh barked up Cinder’s throat, and he shook his head. “No. It’s just… I thought we had a connection. Something clicked, you know? I couldn’t explain it then any more than I can now, but…”
“But?” Kumiko placed a reassuring hand on Cinder’s knee. Beside him, Lizbeth wiggled her toes against his hip in her own silent show of support.
“He disappeared. Again. We exchanged a few text messages the next day, but then… nada. He doesn’t answer when I call or text, and even though we work in the same damn theater, I haven’t caught sight of him once since then.”
Lizbeth nudged Cinder with her elbow, the one she referred to as her “Betty Booper” because of her penchant for shoving her bony-ass elbows into people’s ribs, combined with her full-sleeve tattoo with the infamous Betty Boop at the center. “This despite hanging around here before and after the show, when the rest of us are out enjoying our new tourist trap of a home?”
He huffed out a small laugh. There was no sense hiding it from these two. They would weed out the truth one way or the other. “Yeah, even despite that.”
“Is that why you ordered so much food?” Kumiko gestured to the two bulging sacks of assorted pastas on the table behind her. “So you could hunker down here while the show was dark and pray you ran into your hunky stagehand?”
That was only partially true. The last time they’d had a break in the schedule was the night he and Ellis went out together. Every day since, there’d been at least one show. On those days with matinees scheduled, there’d been two. But now, after tonight’s performance, they had two solid days off. Considering Ellis lived at the theater, Cinder planned to “run into” him after everyone else left for the night.
He’d ordered the massive quantity of food in hopes of convincing Ellis to share another meal together. He figured if the food was already there, and in plentiful amounts with every possible option available, Ellis couldn’t say no.
Then maybe Cinder could find out why he’d stopped talking to him. If it wasn’t because Ellis figured out Cinder’s true identity and was pissed he’d withheld the information, he could remedy that mistake and any other he might’ve made to put a wedge between them. And if it was, he could beg for a second chance and any amount of undeserved forgiveness Ellis might be willing to offer.
Lizbeth dropped her head to Cinder’s shoulder. “Why don’t you come home with us? We could put in a movie, then bore you with our current list of baby names rather than letting you watch any of it.”
Chuckling, Cinder gave Lizbeth’s arm a squeeze. “I appreciate the offer, but I think I’m gonna hang here a bit longer, then call it an early night.”
Kumiko stood. “Rain check for tomorrow?”
A band tightened around his chest at her choice of words. Ellis still owed him a rain check, and Cinder was determined to see it happen. “I’d like that.” He stood and held out a hand to Lizbeth, who accepted his offer and allowed him to pull her to her feet. “Can I walk you ladies to the safety of your car?”
Lizbeth ruffled his damp, post-shower hair. “Anytime, cowboy.”
Draping an arm around her shoulder, Cinder opened his other for Kumiko, and they headed for the door.
When they stepped out of Cinder’s dressing room, a perky young brunette with a clipboard stood outside the door, pointing at something over her head and ranting at some poor soul hidden in the darkness above as they attempted to follow the snappish bark of her directions. Kumiko blew a low whistle under her breath, and Lizbeth hid a giggle, but all Cinder could do was frown and pity the recipient of her ill-tempered commands.
Surprisingly enough, when he returned twenty minutes later from the private underground garage where he’d deposited Kumiko and Lizbeth in their vehicle, Ms. Cranky Pants still lingered around his dressing room door. She clutched the clipboard to her chest as she popped her bright pink bubble gum and twisted a lock of stick-straight hair around one of her neon-pink polish-tipped fingers.
When she caught sight of Cinder, her eyes widened, and she sucked a half-blown bubble between her cherry-glossed lips. “Oh my gosh.” She straightened her shoulders as her face brightened into a wide grin. “Hi!”
Without pause, Cinder slipped into his public persona, slapping on the practiced charm he’d perfected as a child and returning the young woman’s beaming smile. But before he could say two words in response to her bubbly greeting, a movement out of the corner of his eye caught his attention. When he turned out of instinct, his eyes landed on a sweaty and beleaguered-looking Ellis, clad in a pair of cargo shorts, a sinfully tight T-shirt, and a safety harness that framed a certain part of his anatomy in a way that had the blood rushing to a similar location in Cinder’s own body.
The brunette squeaked in surprise and darted to stand unnecessary sentry between Cinder and Ellis, holding her clipboard like a shield. Then, barely above audible, she hissed over her shoulder, “Get out of here.”
No matter how misguided, Cinder appreciated the woman’s attempt at protecting him from potential gawkers. But after waiting days to lay eyes on Ellis, and knowing, at the very least, his safety wasn’t the reason he’d ghosted, Cinder wasn’t about to let this pipsqueak human scare Ellis away.
“Ah, actually, I’d prefer if you didn’t go anywhere just yet.” Cinder locked gazes with Ellis, whose own eyes were wide with… surprise? Horror? A mixture of the two? “I’ve been looking for you.”
Ellis swallowed. “You have?”
At almost the same moment, the brunette spun on her heel and frowned at Cinder, parroting Ellis’s question with a much snottier version. “You have?”
With an awkward chuckle, Cinder nodded. “I have, actually. Any chance we could chat for a sec?” He looked at the woman and smiled. Patiently, and as kindly as possible, but with clear intent. “Alone?”
She raised her eyebrows and pursed her lips. “Of course.” Then, before Cinder could motion toward his dressing room and inv
ite Ellis inside, she turned her attention away from him and zeroed in on Ellis. “Be quick. We’ve still got work to do.” Then she flounced away in a huff.
Ellis squinted one eye before dropping his gaze to the floor. “I’m sorry for not answering your messages. It’s been a hectic week.”
Relief washed through Cinder, lightening his mood significantly. At least Ellis didn’t appear to be pissed at him. Maybe Cinder still had a chance to make things right. “No worries. You’re here now.”
“Yeah, ah, I really should get back to it, though. I’m still on the clock.”
“Okay, so how about when you get off, we meet back here? I ordered some food. We could heat it up and—”
“I can’t, I’m sorry.” Ellis shook his head, a slight blush coloring his cheeks as he continued to avoid Cinder’s gaze. “It’s nothing personal, I promise, but you should really forget about me. You’d be better off looking for company elsewhere.”
Cinder shoved his hands into the front pockets of his well-worn jeans. Something wasn’t right here. If he believed Ellis didn’t want to see him again, he wouldn’t push the subject. He’d been on the receiving end of unwelcome advances far too many times in his life. No way would he force himself or his company on an unwilling party. But there was something else going on here. He didn’t know what exactly, but he wasn’t giving up that easily.
“I understand you’re still at work, so I won’t keep you. But do me one favor, okay?” When Cinder paused and waited for Ellis to lift his eyes before continuing, Ellis rewarded him with a look into those liquid crystal depths. “When you do get off tonight—I don’t care what time it is—will you come by here?”
Ellis opened his mouth to protest, the objection clear in his eyes, but Cinder held up a hand to stop him. “No, I mean it. I’ve got food, a comfy couch, and a big-screen TV with every streaming service known to man. I plan to settle in for a chill night. Whenever your shift is over, give me a few minutes of your time, okay? Then I promise, I’ll send you straight to bed for some much-deserved rest. Just… five minutes, okay?”