Every inch of him moved with a powerful, natural grace that took my breath away when I watched him as closely as I was now. Those muscles tensed and rippled when he put his hand on the edge next to the glasses, preparing to get in.
He smirked when he caught me watching. “Like what you see?”
“You know I do.” I held his gaze for a moment before I went back to ogling him.
Tattoos decorated his skin here and there. A dragon wrapped around his ribs, its tail reaching down so low that it almost dipped into his waistband. On the opposite side of it was an inscription in a language I didn’t recognize, and though I couldn’t see it now, I knew there was a Celtic symbol on his right shoulder blade.
“What does that mean?” I asked, pointing to the words that disappeared below the water when he sank in beside me.
“Aut viam inveniam aut faciam?” He leaned his head back against the plastic rest behind him and turned his face to me. “It means ‘I will either find a way or make one.’”
“Seems fitting for you.” I closed my eyes when I copied his position but found his hand under the water and took it in mine. “Do you really believe that? That if you want something bad enough, there will always be a way to it?”
“Yep. It might not always be easy, but if I have to make a way, I make a way.” I heard him taking a breath. “For example, I didn’t have the natural build for a bodyguard. I had the length eventually, but building the muscles took a ton of work, and it still does.”
Something whispered through my mind when he said it, but I was too focused on what I had to tell him to try figuring it out. “You’d have to be willing to put in the work though, right?”
“That’s part of making a way, yeah.” He tightened his grip on my hand before letting it go. Warm knuckles brushing against my cheekbone, I felt the water shift when he leaned closer to me. “What’s this about, Rylee?”
“It’s about, uh, us.” Open your eyes, Naples. This is the kind of conversation you need to have while looking at someone. “I know we haven’t really talked about the future or anything, but before this gets serious, there are some things you need to know.”
“Like what?” He tilted his head, his eyes gentle on mine and his expression open. “You can tell me anything, remember?”
“It’s stuff you already know about, but have you given any thought to how difficult it might be for you to be in a relationship with someone who’s semi-famous? I’m not a Hollywood A-lister by any means, but there have been a lot of stories about me and my life in the press.”
“I have thought about it,” he said, opening his hand to palm the back of my head. “I don’t care if I end up being in the public eye. Even if there was nothing real between us, I already agreed to that part the day you asked me to pretend, right?”
“Right, but that’s for a limited period of time. Could you live with it for longer?”
He didn’t look away from me. “Yes. If that was what it took and we wanted to be together, I’d live with it.”
“What about my MS?” It came out as barely more than a whisper. “What if I got sick? It’s always the significant other who ends up having to take care of someone. I never want you to feel like you should’ve tucked and run.”
“I could never feel that way about you.” He moved closer to me until our lips were so close that I felt his against mine when he spoke. “None of that scares me. You were right when you said I already knew about it. I did, and I’ve given it a lot of thought.”
“Really?”
“Really.” His fingers burrowed into my hair, and he touched his lips to mine. The kiss started out slow, as him soothing my fears and telling me he was all in despite everything.
There was an edge of something else there, though. It felt almost desperate. It was in the firmness of the press of his lips against mine, the way the strokes of his tongue seemed more insistent. Almost like he couldn’t get enough and was afraid this might be the last time.
Seems like it’s my turn to soothe some of his fears. I kissed him back with every little bit of emotion swirling around inside me. There was so much of it that the kiss took on a life of its own, an inferno of need, desire, and so much more right beneath the surface.
Just as he slid his hands underneath me and brought me to his lap, he groaned and tore his mouth away from mine. “I can’t do this.”
My heart lurched. “Can’t do what?”
“Can’t keep kissing you until I’ve told you.” There was suddenly so much pain and uncertainty in his eyes that I actually jumped a little.
He always seemed so self-assured, cocky even. This was the first time I was seeing such intense vulnerability from him, and it scared the heck out of me. “Tell me what?”
“Jules has the info sheet on me, doesn’t he? He never gave it to you?” Resignation radiated from him. I nodded once, too tense to verbally confirm what he already knew. “My last name is Demming. I’m from Conroe too. That day at our offices wasn’t the first time we met. I actually used to be friends with—”
“Billy,” I finished for him.
All of the pieces I knew I’d been missing suddenly fell into place. The fleeting thoughts and glimpses of familiarity all made sense now, as did why I felt like I’d known him all my life when I thought it’d been only a few weeks. I had known him almost my whole darn life.
I touched his face, and I couldn’t believe I’d missed it. He was right there in front of me, but it was like I was seeing him for the first time. The slight hook in his nose from when he’d taken an elbow to it during one of his swim meets. The quirk of his lips that made him look like he was permanently trying to hide a smirk. Those eyes… God, how did I not see it before?
“How?” I asked, feeling like I’d had the air knocked out of my lungs.
I felt his shoulders moving on a shrug, but my gaze was locked on his. “I spent a lot of time in the gym, took care of myself, and my facial hair finally came in. I also grew a few more inches.”
My hands fell away from him and I scooted back on his legs when I realized it. “You’ve known who I was all this time, haven’t you?”
He nodded slowly, his features contorting into a mask of regret. “Yeah, I did. I don’t know why I didn’t say something. I’ve been wanting to. I tried to a few times, but I didn’t know how.”
All the times he’d said he had something to tell me flashed in my mind. Covering my face with my hands, I tried to contain the humiliation trying to burn me up from the inside out. “I stopped you. I said it didn’t matter.”
“You did, but I should’ve come out with it anyway.” He tried to pry my hands away but I wouldn’t let him. “I’m so sorry, Ry. Truth be told, I don’t know if I would’ve told you. I’ve been going back and forth about it for weeks.”
“Weeks,” I repeated under my breath. “You must think I’m such an idiot. I was such an idiot. I knew there was something familiar about you, but there’s been so much going on that I just kept telling myself I was imagining it.”
“You weren’t.” His voice was tender, but it was laced with the same kind of ache I felt deep down in my soul. “Can we talk about this, please? Just look at me, baby. Tell me what you’re thinking.”
“I’m thinking that I thought I was crazy for feeling such a connection to you when I’ve known you for less than a month. I thought there was something cosmic between us, but it turns out we just used to know each other.”
“I’ve run into a lot of people I used to know,” he grunted with some of his confidence seeping back into his tone. “Never felt this way about any of them.”
The words jolted me all the way to my bones. “The only thing I’m feeling right now is confused. I’m going to bed. I need some time to process this, Carter. Alone.”
Climbing out of the hot tub so fast it was like someone had told me there was a venomous snake in it, I grabbed my towel and wrapped it around myself as I hauled ass up to my room.
Carter Demming.
I couldn’t fucking believe it. He’d been right here all this time, and it had never even occurred to me that it might be him. Not even almost.
What made it worse was that I’d always had that silly crush on him, but that had been forever ago. Was what I was feeling now simply an extension of that? Had I recognized him on a subconscious level and thrown myself at him now just because it was what I used to want?
Maybe. I couldn’t exclude the possibility. I also didn’t know what any of it would mean. Would it even mean anything at all?
Clearly, that same chemistry still existed between us. As adults, it just ran so much deeper than it used to. It was downright weird to feel so strongly drawn to him, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t there.
After taking the longest shower in history, I crawled into my bed in my most comfortable pajamas, but I couldn’t fall asleep. I just couldn’t understand why he hadn’t told me, especially before we fucking slept together.
And yet, I couldn’t exactly be too pissed off at him about it because it’d all been at my behest. I’d made the moves, even when I’d known there was something I was missing. I’d known he wanted me too, and that was all I’d been able to think about. We wanted each other, and therefore, we should be together. It’d seemed so simple.
Never in my wildest dreams had I thought that he might be trying to put the brakes on because of my brother. I almost laughed when I thought about what Billy might have to say about all this.
I was embarrassed enough as it was. What if Carter and Billy still spoke to each other, and he’d told him how boldly I’d gone after his best friend?
Billy would never, ever let me live it down. I didn’t really believe Carter had been laughing at me behind my back all this time. He sure as shit hadn’t turned me down, and I knew he hadn’t done anything he hadn’t wanted to. The man was over six feet tall and had muscles the size of a freaking truck now. No way could I have made him do a single thing he didn’t want to.
But still.
He hadn’t told me, even when it was obvious that I didn’t know. Thinking back to the emotions I’d seen from him with my own two eyes in the hot tub, I knew that he’d told the truth when he said he didn’t know if he ever would’ve told me. I’d also seen the conflict there, though. Even tonight, he still hadn’t known if he should.
But he had. Surely, that had to count for something. Right?
I was more confused than I’d ever been in my life, but there was one thing I was sure of. Our story didn’t end here.
Although I played with the idea of getting him replaced as my bodyguard, I knew I wouldn’t do it. This was between us, and I wasn’t bringing his job into it. I still trusted him to protect me and he’d trusted me when I’d said that what happened between us at home would stay right here.
I wasn’t petty, and though I was hurt, a large part of it was my own fault. All the blame didn’t belong at his feet and I wouldn’t lay it there. I’d made a lot of mistakes these last few weeks, acted completely unlike myself, and it’d all been for him.
Deep down inside, I also couldn’t say I’d change anything if I could go back. His lie of omission had helped bring us to exactly where we were, and that wasn’t necessarily a bad place. In fact, it might even be a better place now that it made more sense why I felt this way about him.
If he’d told me at the outset, I definitely wouldn’t have had the guts to go after him as hard as I had. I’d have been way too scared of embarrassing myself in front of my big brother’s best friend and my old crush.
I didn’t know what it said about me, but I finally fell asleep when I realized that if he hadn’t lied to me, we might not have been together at all. Did that make it okay that he lied to me? No.
Did it mean it was over between us? I didn’t know, but I didn’t want it to be. I just had to figure out if I could get past it, and I needed time to figure out if and how I could do that.
Chapter 21
CARTER
Rylee hadn’t fired me, which was honestly what I’d been expecting after she refused to even look at me before practically flying out of the hot tub that night. It might’ve been better if she had, though. I didn’t know how much more of this shit I could take.
It’d been a week of us moving around each other like zombies, and I was just about ready to crack. The fact that it was Christmas Eve day and my parents would be here any minute made it a thousand times worse.
Rylee had today and the next couple of days off from rehearsals. Jules had invited us over to his place for dinner, but she’d told him we couldn’t because my parents would be with us. That was how I’d found out she didn’t plan on changing her mind about their visit—because I’d overheard the conversation with her manager.
Things were that kind of fucked up between us right now. I shoved a shirt over my head when I heard the doorbell, my teeth grinding as I raced down the stairs without knowing what to expect from this impending visit.
It felt like a disaster in the making to me, but I wasn’t feeling overly optimistic these days. My heart hurt like hell every time I saw her, and since it was my job to keep my eyes on her at all fucking times, I was more of a wreck than what Tani had been worried Cash would turn this house into.
Rylee was already downstairs when I got there, looking like every dream and every dirty fantasy I’d ever had all rolled into one. It wasn’t what she was wearing that made her look that way. It was just… her.
Get the fuck over it. Only I couldn’t. I’d tried all week to put what had happened behind me and focus on only being her security detail, but my body and the scorched lump of coal in my chest refused to let me.
My heart leaped into overdrive from its scorched status of being burned in its own hellfire whenever I saw her, and my cock remembered far too well what it felt like to be inside her. Even in her washed-out jeans and a god-awful Christmas sweater, I thought she was the most beautiful woman who’d ever been born.
She smiled when she opened the door, and my parents predictably went gaga over her. I hadn’t told them who she was, but the contract prohibited me from doing it. As I’d known they would, they recognized her instantly, and my mother enveloped her in a hug that she usually reserved for family.
“Rylee Naples, look at you!” my mother exclaimed with her hands on Rylee’s shoulders when she finally released her. “More gorgeous than ever. How are your parents?”
“They’re good.” She smiled even wider. “Sad that I can’t be at home this year, but at least they have Billy with them.”
My father pulled her into a hug next, raising his brows at me in question over her shoulder. I shook my head, and he narrowed his eyes before doing the same. Yep. I’m going to be facing a parental inquisition later that would make even the Spanish feel lucky.
Mom kept gushing over Rylee, too excited to be too bothered about me after greeting me with a quick hug. “I bet they’re going to miss you so much, but we’ll send them lots of pictures. I just can’t believe it’s you. I feel like I haven’t seen you since you guys were kids, and now here you are, having us over for Christmas at your house.”
“Yeah, it’s a small world,” she said. Her smile didn’t quite seem forced, but she was trying to make out like everything was fine when it wasn’t. “I didn’t expect it to be Carter when my team hired someone to guard me, but life is funny sometimes.”
“I think it’s wonderful.” Mom hugged her again. “I can’t imagine how surprised you both must have been, but I’m sure it’s been lovely catching up.”
“Oh, it’s been interesting.” Rylee didn’t skip a beat, but she also didn’t look at me. “Carter has changed so much over the years.”
“That, he has,” Dad agreed. “Some people might walk right on past him on the street and not recognize him.”
Mom chuckled, reaching up to ruffle my hair like I was still five years old. “It’s happened a few times. I’m so glad you two have found each other again.”
“Do you want to show your parent
s to their room?” she asked me while still smiling at my parents. “I’ll go make us something to drink. Do you guys still love tea so much?”
“Nectar of the gods,” Mom said while Dad just sighed. “Ignore him. He’d rather have a beer if you’ve got one, but tea is just fine.”
“We’ve got beer.” I blinked when I realized it sounded like this was my house too when I said it like that. Well. Tough. I live here, even if it is just for now.
After taking my parents upstairs and leaving them to unpack, I pulled Rylee aside in the kitchen. Her eyes flew wide open when my fingers curled around her wrist, but she didn’t try to pull away when I slid them down to take her hand. She looked down at where we were joined, a soft sound coming out of her when I brushed my thumb over her racing pulse.
“What are you doing?” she breathed before lifting her head to look right into my eyes.
“I don’t normally take these kinds of jobs anymore,” I started. “You asked me once if I didn’t think it was weird to move in with someone I didn’t know, and the real answer is that it is fucking weird, but you weren’t someone I didn’t know.”
“So it was another lie?”
I shook my head. “I never said it wasn’t weird. I said it’s part of the job, and it is. I just stopped having to do these jobs years ago.”
“Why are you here, then?” Her blue eyes flashed, though I couldn’t decipher if the primary emotion in them was hurt or anger. “No one is keeping you hostage, Carter. If you want to leave, leave. It would’ve been nice if you’d done it before your parents got here.”
“That’s not what I’m saying. I don’t want to leave, so if that’s what you want, then you’re going to have to tell me. I’ll go, but not before you hear me out.”
She lowered her chin the slightest fraction of an inch, but it was as much of a go-ahead as I was going to get. “I took this job because it was for you and I knew it. Bart would’ve made it difficult to get out of anyway, but as soon as I saw it was you, I didn’t even try. I wanted to be here with you.”
Dropping The Ball: A New Year’s Billionaire Romance Page 14