“Doubt it. There’s a tub in their en suite and a TV in the room. I’m willing to bet Mom’s soaking in the bath and Dad’s watching the news. It’s their routine.”
I took his hand and allowed him to pull me up. “We’ll be quiet, then.”
It was a little weird to think we were sneaking around in my own house, but it also made me feel younger again. Like the girl I used to be was finally getting to make out with him in secret.
I giggled when we got to my bathroom and he shut the door firmly behind him. “I just realized we’re about to make one of my earliest fantasies come true.”
Smirking as he stalked up to me, he tugged his shirt off in one smooth move and caged me in against the shower door with his hands on either side of my shoulders. “Is that so? I think you should tell me more about it,” he said, his voice husky.
My gaze dropped to his broad chest, and my fingertips followed my eyes there. I flashed him a flirty smile, my fingers walking along the hard ridges of his abdomen. “Well, it might also be one I’ve revisited recently.”
His heart hammered against me when he pushed my body into the cool glass behind me. “Are you serious? Did you do something about it?”
I nodded, tugging my lip between my teeth as I stared into his darkened eyes. His pupils were blown, his lids heavy, and his lips parted. “What if I did?”
“Show me,” he demanded before taking a step back and bringing me with him. Once there was enough distance between us and the door, he opened it and flicked the tap on. While we waited for the water to heat up, he started undressing me.
I pushed up on my toes, kissing him hard while my hands worked on his belt. Our movements were frenzied, hurried as we parted only for my sweater to pass over my head before our mouths clashed again.
Steam rose from the cubicle, making the air warm and humid. Carter lifted me against him and carried me inside. I thought he’d put me down but he didn’t. Keeping our bodies molded together, he pressed me up against the far wall and kissed me even harder.
My legs were wrapped around his hips, his erection right where I wanted it. “Have you been tested recently?”
The words came spilling out between kisses, but he broke them off to look at me with a frown between the dark slashes of his brows. “Yeah. Why? It’s part of our physicals at work. We do one every quarter.”
“Have you been with anyone since the last one?”
He shook his head. “Only you.”
“I went through just about every test known to man before I got cleared for performing. I’m clean. I’m also on birth control.”
I saw his pulse jump at the base of his jaw. “What are you saying?”
“I’m saying we don’t have to stop to get a condom if you don’t want to. I don’t want to. I’ve never been with anyone without one, and I want it to be you.”
Would some consider me stupid for trusting him so completely after I’d just found out he’d lied to me? Perhaps, but they didn’t know him the way I did. He kept telling me he wasn’t a liar but I already knew that about him. I knew who he was fundamentally, which meant I also knew he wouldn’t ever do anything that would hurt me.
Not intentionally anyway.
He slammed his mouth down on mine in response to my question, growing impossibly longer and thicker between my legs. He kissed me so deeply that I felt like he was trying to fuse his soul to mine, trying to brand me onto his as surely as he was marking mine.
We stayed that way for a long time, our hips gently rocking against each other while we devoured the other’s mouth. The water spraying off his back and dripping over his forehead and shoulders made our bodies slick, our skin sliding together everywhere we touched.
He slowed our kiss eventually, bringing his heated gaze to mine. “There’s nothing I want more than to be the first one inside you without anything between us, but I don’t expect it, Ry. I’ve got condoms in my wallet, which is still in my pocket right outside.”
“I know you don’t expect it. Maybe that’s one of the reasons why I want it to be you.” Bullshit. Bullshit. Bullshit. I sucked in a deep breath before offering the truth. “I used to want it to be you. I wanted everything with you, and as soon as I saw you again, even though I didn’t know it was you, I felt it all again for the first time.”
Carter kept his eyes on mine but sucked in a quiet breath as he shook his head. My heart skipped when I thought he meant that he didn’t feel the same, but then he smiled. “I can’t believe what an idiot I was. If I’d had any idea you felt that way… but we can make up for it now. No more wasting time.”
“No more wasting time,” I agreed.
It took some maneuvering, and it wasn’t completely comfortable, but he got himself positioned at my opening and pushed forward slowly. My head dropped back against the wall, the discomfort fading when he moved inside me.
We alternated between kissing and looking into each other’s eyes. Carter’s muscles were taut with restraint, his breaths shuddering, and the strong column of his throat working.
“I still want to know about these fantasies of yours,” he whispered, “but I want you to come for me first.”
It was a combination of the low, commanding timbre of his voice, the look in his eyes, and how he felt inside and against me that did it. My lower belly tightened, my hips making the slightest adjustment to feel him against my clit.
I moaned when he reached between us, leveraging my weight against the wall and holding me up with his hips and the free hand on the back of my thigh. It was possibly dangerous in this position, but I knew he wouldn’t let me fall.
All it took to push me over the edge was a few strokes of his talented fingers, and my orgasm crashed into me like a wave that made my toes curl and fireworks explode behind my eyelids. Carter let out a string of curses, and then I felt his stomach contract before he found his own release deep inside me.
It felt completely different to have nothing between us, the sudden warmth and knowing what had caused it triggering a smaller, aftershock of a climax before my body sagged against his. Our hearts pounded together, but when he looked into my eyes, almost none of the heat had been extinguished. “I’m very much not done with you yet. Did we manage to fulfill one of those fantasies of yours?”
I nodded, glancing at the tiled seat as memories of my latest thoughts about him in here flashed in my mind. He followed my gaze before bringing his eyes back to mine and popping an eyebrow at me.
“Really? When?”
“The first night you moved in.” I wasn’t embarrassed by the admission. Running my fingers through his wet hair, I even managed a weak smirk. “I thought I was crazy for wanting you so badly.”
“You weren’t the only one dangling on that edge. Trust me.” He took my mouth for another kiss before slowly releasing his hold on me. “Think you can stand?”
I tested my legs, which were shaky but seemed okay. “Yep.”
“Then show me what you did.”
“Only if you show me too.”
A devilish grin spread across his face. “Fine, but it might not be very impressive for a while after that.”
“We’ll see,” I said confidently. Moving to the bench, I lowered myself down and reveled in the way his eyes drank me in.
We were so lost in each other, staring as my hands teased up and down the insides of my thighs and his stroked along his length, that it didn’t take either of us long to get all worked up again. A moan tore from my chest when I brushed a finger across my clit, and he suddenly let go of himself to close the short distance between us.
Dropping to his knees in front of me, he spread my legs even farther apart to make space for his shoulders. “Your pleasure belongs to me tonight.”
“Where’d you get that from, a porno?” I asked, but I couldn’t deny that the words had gotten to me.
He laughed, his breath warm against my wet thighs before he looked up at me. “Nah, I just said what was going through my head but I don’t blame you for t
hinking that. You complaining?”
“Never.” My hands twisted into his hair, my head dropping back against the tiles when he gave me the first long lick from bottom to top.
I didn’t hold back, panting his name while he made another of my fantasies come true. After another mind-blowing orgasm, he was so hard and ready again that he didn’t even stop for us to dry off before carrying me to my bed.
Once there, I pushed him back by his shoulders and enjoyed every sound he made when I finally got my mouth and hands on him. He let me take my time, touching and exploring him in ways I never would’ve dreamed I’d actually be able to do. When he was ready to tap out, he caught my wrists and tugged me over him.
He was inside me again in no time, making love to me until I forgot even my own name. When I finally pulled the still damp comforter over us, Carter fell asleep in my arms before I even lifted my head again. It’d been a stressful, exhausting week for me, but obviously, it’d caught up to him this evening as well.
All week, I’d been wanting to talk to him. I just hadn’t known what to say. I knew he wanted me to forgive him, but it wasn’t quite that easy. It also really wasn’t only about the lie.
I still needed to talk to my doctors and to come to grips with the fact that there was now someone in my life who might just like to stay there long term. That changed things for me.
Not that I’d been planning on giving up on having a life or even a family eventually, but I now needed to know more than ever what my prognosis was. Everything I’d talked to my doctors about before had revolved around my career and whether I’d be able to go back safely.
Things were different now. They wouldn’t only have my career to take into consideration, but things outside of it. Sex, for example. It felt pretty damn good with him, but I’d never even brought it up with my doctors because I hadn’t been having it.
It was terrible to have all these things running through the back of my mind even as I watched him sleep. His chest was rising and falling in an easy rhythm, his handsome features relaxed and his arm draped over my midriff.
I brushed his hair with my fingers, singing softly to him. So many songs swirled through my mind, but I found myself on one I’d been singing at a different man recently, but that was just for the rehearsal. Even though I’d been singing it at Dustin, Carter had been the one on my mind with every word since he’d come back into my life.
“Just for this moment. As long as you’re mine. I’ve lost all resistance, and crossed some borderline. And if it turns out, it’s over too fast, I’ll make every last moment last. As long as you’re mine.”
My voice became thick, and I stopped when I got choked up with tears. Fuck my life. I’ve already fallen in love with this man.
I thought I’d accepted it already, but that had been nothing compared to this. This all-encompassing feeling that I’d give everything up if he asked me to. No press. No shows. No stage.
What made it even more worrying was that I didn’t even think I’d miss those things if he was by my side. It helped knowing he’d be there anyway, that I didn’t have to give it up to be with him, but it was damn scary to know I’d do it.
Without question. Without doubting. Without another thought about it at all.
What made it even scarier was knowing that the one thing I couldn’t give up for him was the same thing really holding me back. I’d have given up having MS for him, but I couldn’t. That was with me for life, and whatever he said now, he didn’t know how bad it could get.
Hell, I didn’t even really know how bad it could get. I’d made a point of not exhausting the internet with my searches. Knowledge wasn’t always power. Sometimes, it was a hindrance. Knowledge could make me weaker. Paranoid. Disabled.
I refused to let it happen, so I’d kept my research limited. I’d joined legitimate forums, got my information from trusted sources, and tried not to run to the all-knowing internet with all my questions.
I was fine for now, but no one knew how long that would last. I loved Carter too much, despite even my own reservations about it being too early to love him, to drag him into this.
I had quit one thing I loved already. Sure, I was making a comeback. But people didn’t work like the stage. They didn’t always welcome you back with open arms filled with roses and the role of a lifetime.
Sometimes, the wicked witch got left to rot in her hole and no cared about her story.
Chapter 25
CARTER
Bart and I needed to talk. He sat across from me at the restaurant where we were having dinner with Tani and Rylee, his gaze on her hand absently playing with my hair while she spoke to her friend.
He cocked his head at me, but I shook mine. I knew it was time to let him know what was going on between us, but not right then. It was a safe bet he already knew anyway, but he hadn’t said anything or pulled me off her detail, so I assumed he was trusting me with this.
“How was your Christmas?” Tani asked us, a wide smile on her face as her eyes darted from Rylee’s to mine and back again. “I know it’s been a week, but I haven’t seen you guys, and talking on the phone just isn’t the same. How did it go with his parents?”
“It went really well,” she replied. “We had a good visit.”
When her cheeks flushed, I knew her mind had gone to the evenings after my parents had gone to bed. Lord knew my own brain spent its fair share of time on those memories. Then I spent every night worshiping her body and making more.
“What did Mama and Papa Demming have to say about this act you two are putting on?” The emphasis Bart put on the word act clued me into the fact that he definitely knew it was more than that.
I shrugged. “They’re fine with it. We explained the situation to them, and they understand.”
“We know each other anyway,” Rylee added, frowning at me when I tensed beside her. Understanding dawned in her eyes and her mouth formed a small “o” before she sighed.
Bart and Tani were both looking at us with confused expressions on their faces. Bart narrowed his eyes at me. “They know each other? That mean you two knew each other before this assignment?”
Well, I guess tonight is as good a time as any to tell them after all. I was tired of keeping shit from the people closest to me anyway. Once Bart knew everything, he’d either keep trusting me with her or he wouldn’t. I was hoping it would be the former, but I wasn’t planning on leaving her side either way. If he tried to remove me as her guard, I’d ask her if I could stay with her anyway. I’d probably have to find another job, but I really didn’t think it would go that far.
I held his gaze, nodding once before taking her hand under the table. Nothing was taking me from her, not even my boss and best friend. “We grew up together. I was friends with her brother at school.”
Tani snapped her fingers, grinning excitedly at Rylee. “So that’s why he was familiar to you! When did you figure it out?”
“A couple of weeks ago,” she said before looking at Bart. “Look, it’s not an issue. I know you guys have all kinds of rules that I’m not necessarily familiar with, but I’m the client, and there’s no one I trust more to keep me safe.”
Truth rang in her words, crawling into my heart and chipping away another piece of it that raced to join the others she already possessed. She kept her chin up and her eyes on his. “I don’t want him getting in trouble over this.”
Bart sighed softly, scrubbing his hands over his face before showing us his palms. “I don’t know why you didn’t just come out with it, but I’m assuming it was because you wanted on this job and didn’t want to risk me putting someone else on it?”
“I knew you’d think our shared history would compromise me. It hasn’t. I take her safety extremely seriously.”
We exchanged a long look before he surprised me. “There are forms to fill out. It’s not necessarily against the rules to guard someone you know. There’s just some extra paperwork.”
“While we’re on the subject,” I lifted
our joined hands and placed them on the table in full view of our friends, “there’s this, too.”
Rylee’s eyes went wide, but then she squeezed my hand and pulled back her shoulders. “Well, I guess it’s all on the table now. Literally, which is kind of cool.”
Bart swore loudly, hanging his head for a moment before snapping it back up. “You think I didn’t already know that?”
“Figured you did. Thought I should confirm it anyway. I don’t want to hide things anymore. This situation has been more than complicated enough already.”
My friend caught my gaze, questioning while searching at the same time. “Now that I know for sure, I’ll have to do something about it. I’m glad you told me, though. I was wondering how long it was going to take.”
“It’s been too long already.” I shook my head. “Why didn’t you say anything?”
He shrugged, but there was also a ghost of a smile on his lips. “You’re you. You shut down tighter than Fort Knox until you’re ready to talk about something.”
Tani squealed and threw her arms around Bart in a side-hug. His nostrils flared in surprise, but he wrapped one of his arms around her too, patting her shoulder awkwardly before letting her go.
“I knew you were one of the good ones,” she said quietly enough that I didn’t think we were supposed to have heard her, but we did. “Thanks for not being a dick about it.”
“I might still have to be,” he said before sighing and clasping his hands together at the back of his neck like he was physically restraining himself from touching her any further. He brought his eyes to mine. “We’ll have to talk about this tomorrow. You know that, right?”
“Yep.”
“You’re not putting someone else on my detail now?” Rylee asked, a nervous edge in her voice. “I really, really don’t want anyone else on me.”
She flushed and ducked her head when she realized what she’d said. I tightened my grip on her hand, leaning in to whisper in her ear. “I don’t want anyone else on you either.”
Bart huffed out an exasperated breath, drawing my attention back to him. He was smirking when I looked at him, though. “I don’t even want to know what you just said, but unfortunately, I think I already do. That being said, I might need to add someone else at least when you’re out in public, but that puts us back to people finding out you’re being guarded. Let me think it through, and we’ll come up with something.”
Dropping The Ball: A New Year’s Billionaire Romance Page 17