Billy squeezed me before turning me around by my shoulders and shaking them gently. “I have no idea what’s going on with you, but this isn’t the real you, Ry. Do you want him in your life?”
“Yes.” Zero thought required for that answer. “I regretted letting him go before he even left my hospital room, but I had to do it.”
“No, you didn’t.” He arched both brows at me, his fingers still on my shoulders. “I spoke to him. Hell, he even picked me up from the airport last night. When we got to the hospital, they refused to let me in because it was too late, so he brought me here.”
“You saw him?” I whispered, my heart clenching. “How is he?”
“He looks like shit.” He chuckled but there was no amusement in his eyes. “Even I felt sorry for him, and I’m the last person who should be capable of that right now. Don’t get me wrong. I realize that you’re both adults and that you can do whatever, or in this case whoever, you want, but the thought of you two together is still fucking weird.”
“We didn’t mean for it to happen,” I said quietly, “but I’m not going to apologize for it. He makes me happy, Billy.”
He smiled gently. “I’m not asking you to apologize, but if he makes you happy, why did you kick him out when he wanted to be there for you and you needed him to be? Like I said, the guy looks like shit. I’m two hundred percent sure he’s in love with you too. You broke his heart, Ry. I didn’t even know he really had one, but I looked into his eyes and I saw it. He’s broken.”
“So am I,” I confessed, more tears streaming down my face as my shoulders heaved on silent sobs. “But it’s not just my heart that’s broken. It’s my body too. How can I do that to him?”
“The only thing you’d be doing to him is making him happy. You still don’t get it, do you?”
“Get what?” I had to use my whole palms to wipe my face. My fingers were useless against the onslaught of tears streaming down my cheeks at this point.
Billy looked into my eyes, disbelief in his as he shook his head. “There’s a reason why the phrase ‘in sickness and in health’ has been included in wedding vows going back fuck even knows how many years. True love isn’t about only being there for each other in the good times. It might even be more about being there when things get hard and facing it together.”
I suddenly saw my brother in a whole different light. He wasn’t just the jackass who used to refuse to hang out with me, the friend I bantered with when we were home, or the playboy I thought he was in Nashville.
He’d grown up too, and no one said stuff like that if they hadn’t lived through something big. “When did you get so wise?”
“I’ve always been wise.” He tried for a smirk, but it fell flat. “Listen to me, Ry. Carter knows what he’s getting into. He wants the fabulous, beautiful parts of you, but he also wants the parts you think are broken. They’re all a part of you, and you’re the one he wants.”
“He said that?” I was all choked up, but the words came out audibly nonetheless.
Billy rolled his eyes. “He didn’t have to say it in so many words. Guys like us don’t really talk to each other using words like those, but that doesn’t mean it’s not true. If there was even a shred of doubt in my mind, I’d never be here advocating for him.”
“So what do I do now?” I asked after a minute of letting his words sink in. There was a fresh spark of hope in my chest, but what was done was done. I couldn’t take back what I’d done and said in that hospital room. “You just said it. I broke his heart. It’s too late now.”
He scoffed. “What do you think second chances are all about? You gave him one after he lied to you, didn’t you? Don’t you think he’d be willing to do the same for you?”
The spark turned into an inferno, but the shame, guilt, and regret were all still there—all just as strong. “Maybe. I’m still not sure I can just forget what a relationship with me would mean for him.”
“Did you talk to your doctors about it?” he asked, changing tact from emotional to scientific.
I nodded. “They said there’s absolutely no reason why I couldn’t be in a perfectly normal relationship, get married, or have a family.”
He winced. “Let’s not talk about you two having babies together just yet. I’m not nearly ready for that, but I will tell you one thing. Your doctors have walked a long road with you. They wouldn’t lie to you, especially about this. You’ve been thinking this way for a while, haven’t you?”
“Yep.” I wasn’t proud of it, but it was the truth. The doctors even said the added stress I’d put myself under worrying about it might’ve been the main trigger for my attack.
Billy knew it without me having to voice it out loud. He backed away from me, scrubbing his hands over his face before letting his head drop back.
“Right, well, I tell you what you’re going to do. You’re going to go have a shower, change, and then you and I are going out for some groceries because there’s nothing edible in this house. When we get back, you’re going to return Jules’s calls. He’s even tried me about a hundred times. We’re going to get your work stuff back on track, and then we’ll work on a plan for Carter. Okay?”
I’d rather have gotten right on to working on the plan to get Carter back, but Billy was giving me time to wrap my head around the truth. Carter didn’t care that I was famous or sick, and the doctors didn’t think being with him was like handing him a grenade that’s pin had already been pulled.
There was only one person still worrying about it, and that was me. It wasn’t something I’d move past overnight, but I needed to get into the right headspace before I spoke to Carter. If I didn’t, there was a strong possibility that I’d screw things up even further.
Bart suggested that we order groceries online, but I shut him down. I could walk, and I needed to do it. Even if it was just a few blocks to buy some food. He relented when I told him that, then fell in step beside Billy on our way to the store. The two spoke animatedly about Carter, looking to all the world like they were the ones who were old friends. As long as Billy was in town, we wouldn’t have to worry about appearances where Bart was concerned.
We grabbed a few of the basic groceries before moving to the checkout point. My brain was spinning as I tried to reconcile what everyone was saying about Carter and my future, and my own beliefs on the matter.
Everything slammed to a halt when I spotted my face—and Carter’s—on the front page of the New York Times. It was dated for the day before, but there were still a few copies of the paper sitting on the shelf.
My heart dropped when I read the headline and saw Nathan’s name underneath it. Billy and Bart were next to me immediately, ushering me forward before I could read everything he’d written.
“That asshole,” I cursed under my breath. “He’s never going to stop unless I do, is he?”
Billy ground his teeth and shook his head firmly. “There’s not a chance you’re stopping.”
“He won’t stop if you do anyway,” Bart added with all the confidence of a person who knew what he was talking about. “Clearly, he’s after something and he won’t stop until he gets it. It’s not your retirement he’s after. That’s for sure. Or else he’d have left it alone by now.”
I closed my eyes and raised my chin, taking in a deep breath. They were right. I really had to stop doubting myself all the time. The wheels were in motion for my return, and while I would remain nervous about it, I was going to do it.
“Hey, honey,” Jules said when he called about a minute later. I had a sneaking suspicion my brother had sent him a text letting him know I’d seen the article and what my reaction had been. I’d seen him typing on his phone when I was busy getting checked out. “How are you feeling? Up and about?”
“I’m okay, and yes. We’re at the store.”
“Good. I want you back onstage for a few more run-throughs this week. There’s no backing down now, baby. We’re going to take the world by storm.”
Oh yeah, Billy d
efinitely said something to him. But I was glad.
Both of them had always been good for my soul, and being surrounded by them now was exactly what I needed to get me through the last couple of weeks before New Year’s. It didn’t escape my notice that I had Carter to thank for having Billy here, and for calling Jules for me.
My heart swelled until it felt like it might pop, then seemed to adjust before swelling even more. It was the sweetest pressure I’d ever felt, but it also let me know that I owed it to both of us to talk to him.
The sooner, the better. If, and that was a big if, he was willing to speak to me again at all.
Chapter 29
CARTER
The bookstore was jam-packed. People were lined up around the block for the signing, and the movie star turned urban fantasy author waved magnanimously as he made small talk with his fans. Copy after copy of his book was thrust underneath his nose, and the monotony of the day was getting to even me.
Bart had booked me on a short-term day job for the signing while Rylee and I “worked on patching things up.” The problem with that statement was that, in order to be working on patching things up, we had to be talking. Which we weren’t.
I still hadn’t heard a peep from her, and since she’d asked for space, I wasn’t about to go hounding her. Maybe that made me stubborn, but I preferred thinking of it as respecting her wishes. I also didn’t know if I could take being told it really was over.
A big part of my battered and bruised heart still hoped Billy could get through to her. At least he’d reached out to me, and in ten minutes when this signing was over, I’d get to see one of the Naples siblings again.
Bart had told me that Rylee had been discharged from the hospital and that she’d been given the all-clear. So why haven’t I heard from her?
Hopefully, Billy would have some answers for me soon. I glanced at my watch before signaling to Ryan, who was manning the door, that we had to start wrapping it up.
A few people had eyed me curiously throughout the day, but it was only when Andrew Parker, the movie star turned author, narrowed his eyes at me in suspicion once we got done that I realized why.
“Aren’t you Rylee Naples’s new fling?” he asked, a wistful look on his face as he gave his head a shake. “Man, she’s gorgeous. I wanted to look her up while I was in town until I saw that article. It’s a real shame she’s retired.”
“No, not him. You’ve got the wrong guy,” I replied curtly. “I wouldn’t believe everything you’ve read, though. I don’t think the world has seen the last of her.”
He shrugged, giving me one last look before shaking his head again. “I hope you’re right. For the record, if you are him, I understand better than most why you’d say no but don’t just let her quit, okay?”
My brows barely twitched upward, but he must have seen it. He dug into his jacket pocket and pulled out a card, winking as he held it out to me. “If she’s ever interested in crossing over to Hollywood, have her give me a call. She’s got a lot of fans out there. I’d be happy to help her get settled in.”
I stared at the card, swiping it from him just before he moved to withdraw it. “Still not him, but if I happen to run into her, I’ll let her know.”
He smirked. “Sure. Thanks for today.”
The driver he’d hired opened the door for him at the back of the bookstore, and he disappeared with one last wave at me. I sighed, running my fingers through my hair after stashing the card into my own pocket.
Even I had underestimated how brightly Rylee’s star shone. Even after all this time. Maybe it was time to give up that hope I’d been clinging to.
My mood plummeted to new depths. There was a dark cloud hanging over me by the time I walked into the bar where I was meeting Billy.
He was already there, nursing a beer in the corner. I went to grab myself a drink, ignoring the bartender’s scrutiny before he handed it over. I get it, man. Big dudes in black suits tend to cause trouble.
I lifted my hands at him to show him I wasn’t there to stir his shit up, then left him a good tip before going to join Billy at the table.
He grinned when he saw me. “Good day at work, honey?”
“The best.” I took a long sip of my beer, draining the entire neck and then some before slamming it down on the table and reaching up to loosen my tie. “How is she?”
“At rehearsals.” He gave me a slow onceover, his brow furrowing when he lifted his eyes back to mine. “Frankly, she’s looking much better than you. Have you slept?”
“Minimally,” I grunted. “I haven’t managed more than a couple of hours a night. She’s still doing the show then?”
“Yeah, it looks like it.” He tore at the label on his bottle, shredding tiny pieces off it while staring at me from across the table. The look in his crisp blue eyes was intense. “I went to bat for you with her, Carter. Don’t make me regret it. You need to take care of yourself.”
I cocked my head, noticing something in the depths of those familiar eyes of his. “Why would you do that?”
“Maybe I’ve been where you are. Maybe I wish someone had gone to bat for me, and maybe I wish I’d have handled it differently myself. It doesn’t really matter. She’s my little sister and you were my best friend for a long time. I want to see you both happy.”
“You’re not quite the lady-killer out there that she thinks you are, are you?”
He shrugged, tearing another piece of the label off. “I am now, I guess, but it wasn’t always like that. We’re not talking about me, though.”
“It sounds like we should be.” I might be in a piss-poor mood, but Billy was still my friend. I’d dragged him all the way here. The least I could do was to get caught up with him too. “How’s life really been treating you? You keep saying everything is good, but it sounds like I’m not the only one who hasn’t been saying everything there is to say.”
“Does anyone ever say everything there is to say?” He blew out a heavy breath. “Rylee is the important person right now. What’re you going to do about her?”
“I met Andrew Parker today,” I said, holding up a finger when he narrowed his eyes at me. “It was a one-day-only gig. Anyway, he gave me his card to give to Rylee. According to him, she’d have a shot at Hollywood if she wants it.”
Billy’s shoulders came down as he relaxed, his head dipping forward when he laughed. “Please don’t tell me you’ve built that up as another hurdle between you two in your head?”
I shrugged, and he reached out to punch my bicep. “People out there have been after her for years. Jules must have at least a dozen numbers he’s collected since he started managing her. She’s not interested, and even if she was, she wouldn’t go if you couldn’t go with her.”
“I don’t want to hold her back.” I tried saying it nonchalantly but my old friend knew me better than that.
“Jesus. You two really just need to fucking talk to each other. She’s crying to me about not holding you back with her disease, and you’re crying about not holding her back in her career. In the meantime, all both of you want is to be together.”
My gut clenched and my stomach rolled. “I’m not crying, but what are you talking about? I told her I wasn’t worried about that.”
“Well, she was still worried about it, although I think she’s coming around.” He chewed on his lip, seemingly unsure if he should continue. Muttering “fuck it” under his breath, he brought his gaze back to mine and leaned forward. “You’re both as stubborn as mules. When you talk to her—and you will talk to her because otherwise all my efforts will have been for nothing—just tell it to her like it is.”
Before I could reply, the door to the bar swung open and Nathan Biles himself walked in. Lo and fucking behold.
“This can’t be a coincidence,” I grumbled, and Billy’s gaze followed mine.
He cursed softly. “No, it can’t be. You tell anyone we were going to be here?”
I shook my head but my eyes drifted to the bartender. “Gu
ess he wasn’t worried about me causing shit after all. That fucking guy has eyes everywhere.”
“You don’t get to be the number-one asshole in a profession filled with them by sitting back and waiting for people to come to you.” The vehemence in Billy’s voice told me there was more to this story.
Nathan strode up to us with a grin so big I’d have sworn he’d just hit the jackpot. “Well, well, well. If it isn’t Billy Naples and Rylee’s mysterious boyfriend day-drinking together.”
Billy rolled his eyes. “Fuck off, Biles. We don’t have anything to say to you.”
“I might have something to say to you.” He placed his palms on our table while my hands clenched into fists on my thighs.
Deep breath, Carter. Deep breath.
Nathan’s gaze swung to mine, his smirk growing. “You know she’s never going to be happy with you, right? That girl will open her legs for anyone for a short while.”
“You’re still salty because she turned you down,” Billy retorted, a vein below his jaw suddenly bulging.
I stood up, getting in Nathan’s face. “You better get the fuck out of here before I ruin that pretty face of yours.”
“Oh, so that’s how it is?” He winked at me. “You think I’m pretty, so you went after my sloppy seconds? That’s low, dude.”
Red flashed in my vision, my brain fogging up as rage simmered inside. “You had to have had her for that, but keep dreaming.”
“I will. In fact, I do every night. She’s going to be mine someday, you know? I won’t keep her, of course, because she’s a has-been now. A tainted, broken slut—”
My fist slamming into the asshat’s face shut him up. He grabbed his jaw and howled, bending over as he spat blood on the floor.
“Take a picture of that and post it in your paper, you pussy.” I jerked my thumb at the door. “Let’s go find somewhere that doesn’t spy for pathetic pricks, Naples.”
“I’ve already taken a picture, asshole,” he yelled after us when we got to the door, motioning at the camera in the hand of a man who’d walked in a few minutes before him.
Dropping The Ball: A New Year’s Billionaire Romance Page 20