by Cathy MacRae
As they passed the small mud-and-stone crofts, she noticed each had a small fenced garden as well as chicken houses and pens with pigs. Cattle and sheep stood in the meadows alongside acre after acre of plowed fields. They passed vineyards, orchards, and several storage barns along the way. At the back of one, she spied a large number of beehives. Anna was struck by the beautiful setting. Everything appeared green, lush and growing, with the scent of flowers in the air. The steep hills and rock balanced the ruggedly beautiful land.
Anna stole several sidelong glances at her guide. She watched the play of his muscular body, moving as one with his horse. Admiring him is surely madness. She tried to summon the anger she’d felt at the stables as a shield against such foolish thoughts, but found it had waned. Part of her wanted to remain angry, but after being outside in this beautiful setting, she found no appetite for it.
“Your home is beautiful. It is similar to mine, but also very different.” Thoughts of home tugged at her heart.
His sky-blue eyes sparkled, and in them she saw pride for his home, his clan. “Aye, I knew ye would like it. Now I need to convince ye to stay.”
Furrowing her brow, Anna found herself at a loss for words. She didn’t know how to respond to him, nor could she understand what his smile did to her.
I should still be angry, damn him!
They rode beside the small river winding through the village and past a miller’s wheel. Following the river downstream, they came to a body of water so large she could barely see the other shore.
“Fadagorm Loch. We share it with the MacFarlane clan, our allies. Their lands are on the far side of the loch, to the west. We trade with them and work together to protect our territories. To the north live the Stewarts, my mother’s clan. They are allies, also. North of the Stewarts lies the MacNairn clan. They are the ones who stole Nessa and Isla. We are sworn enemies.
“To the south are the Grahams. We have never had any problems, but do not have an alliance. Father may try to form one with Nessa’s marriage in the future. They are friendly enough, and we trade with them a few times a year. We are known for our blend of whisky, which they have a taste for. ’Tis always in demand.”
Scrutinizing the area, Anna got a sense of the boundaries he described. “So we were met by the Grahams on the second day of our trip and by the MacFarlanes the third day.”
“Aye, ye are a bright one. Nessa tells me ye speak, read and write several languages, and ye have been taught a great number of things.”
Clearly he wanted to know more. Instead she offered, “Your sister is wonderful. I have greatly enjoyed my time with her.”
“Aye, she is a good lass—my father’s joy. Ye have made her very happy by staying. She hopes to keep ye.”
His words brought a smile to her lips before she thought to stop it. She hated the conflict churning within. Duncan’s consideration today only worsened her confusion. Seeing him as her enemy made things so much easier.
Walking the horses back to the stables, she unsaddled Orion. She grabbed a brush off the wall and set to the task of brushing him. Grooming a horse was always one of her favorite ways to think. The simple, mindless chore freed her to consider solutions to problems or ponder decisions. Today, she found no such respite, acutely aware of the man a few feet from her.
She’d known him less than a month. The early part of that time, he was her enemy. She’d need longer than a few days to think otherwise. They groomed their horses in silence. He finished first and leaned against a stall door. A strange discomfort crept over her, and she slid a glance in his direction. His tilted smile as he watched her work softened his rugged face. She ignored him, attending instead to her horse.
After she finished, Duncan took the reins and led Orion to a large stall. She didn’t want to appear rude, but found it difficult to express gratitude. The words seemed to stick in her throat.
“Thank you for the ride today. It was enjoyable. Thank you, also, for taking care of my horse whilst I was unable.” She forced a pleasant look on her face, feeling it stretch the limits of plausibility.
He bowed to her. “Of course, milady. ’Twas the least I could do.”
There. Though she would not give in to feeling guilty for losing her temper, she could at least be grateful.
* * *
With a sigh of relief, Duncan rocked back on his heels and watched Anna climb the stairs. The morning proved to be a success. Kenneth would be pleased to hear it. Maybe a few more outings and she would trust enough to consider staying. Getting Anna to vent a portion of the anger she’d held since her arrival seemed to have brought her some relief. At first, he feared he might have to defend himself. He owed it to her to take anything she threw at him. Words anyway.
She appeared genuinely happy to be outside, and seeing her horse well cared for clearly touched her. Watching her smile when they were reunited filled him to overflowing. Knowing he could be the author of her joy brought a feeling he was hesitant to explore. He only knew he wanted to be the one who made her smile.
Duncan had wondered if not seeing her these past few days would cause his feelings to wane. To his surprise, his attraction toward her had only intensified. The simple ride this afternoon increased his need to be near her. He’d forcibly stopped himself several times from drawing closer during their ride, seeming to have little power over his actions.
Like a stallion with the scent of a mare in season, he found himself inexplicably drawn to her. ’Twas folly to consider she would allow him closer yet. No, he would keep his distance, continuing to invite her to venture out. Doing so would show the clan his intent toward her, as well as give her opportunities to continue to discharge her wrath in a more controlled fashion. This, along with the steady efforts of the women, would surely erode the walls she erected.
He continued to stare wistfully in her direction, long after she left his sight. It seemed she carried away much of the day’s beauty with her. Scrubbing his face with his hands, Duncan tried to dismiss the absurd notion.
Where the devil did that come from? Ye are no beardless lad to be taken in by such sentimental foolishness.
’Twould be wiser to attend to the facts of the situation. The blasted woman insists she doesnae need my protection. Shaking his head, he could only imagine what her brother and father must have suffered. Would the lass ever abide direction or care from a man?
He’d finally found a woman who stirred his interests beyond mere physical desires. However, the stubborn lass seemed more interested in fighting with him than anything else. Her rigid independence abraded his patience, leaving behind the polished sheen of frustration. Fine. If she wanted to fight, he would find a way for them to train together. Perhaps that would be the path to gain her trust. He strode toward the gate, anticipating a strenuous bout of sword play with the men, the perfect way to vent his aggravation.
Chapter 8
Anna found Nessa and Isla grinning widely when she arrived upstairs from the ride. Ignoring them, she sat at the table and poured a cup of cider. Every so often the girls stole a glance in her direction. After a few minutes, she couldn’t ignore them any longer.
“Very well, ladies, what is it? Do I have dirt on my face or smell of the stables?”
They both giggled.
Flummoxed by their behavior, Anna turned her chair toward them, arms crossed. “Speak up, what is it?”
Ignoring the question, Nessa sat next to her. “Did ye enjoy the ride?”
Arching a brow, Anna decided to play along. “Yes, it was wonderful to see my horse. Your brother took me riding around the village and the surrounding area. He showed me the loch, explaining the boundaries of your territories and the neighboring clans. ’Tis quite beautiful here.”
“So if ye like it here, ye will stay?” Nessa’s enthusiasm shone on her face.
Anna smiled. The girl’s continued desire for her to stay, to become part of her family, tempted. Perhaps she would stay through winter. She’d have a few months to form a p
lan for the future.
“I have not made a decision yet, but could not wish for a lovelier place to live. Though I think it will take some time to get used to the cold.”
Nessa seemed content with her answer. “How was yer horse?”
“He is quite well, and as glad to see me as I, him.”
“Aye, my brother has personally cared for him. He refused to let anyone else near. Duncan treated him as his own.”
Anna didn’t know what to say, but an odd sensation fluttered in her stomach. “’Twas very kind of him.”
Nessa giggled again, and Anna’s eyes narrowed in frustration. “Nessa, what am I missing?”
Nessa studied Anna for a moment, her brow furrowed. “Ye really dinnae know, do ye?” Isla stepped to Nessa’s side. They looked at each other and giggled.
“Ladies,” Anna warned, reaching the end of her patience.
This sent them into another fit of giggles.
“I give up.” Finishing the cider, she placed dried chamomile flowers in a cup and walked to the fire, where a kettle hung. Pouring hot water over the petals, she sat in the chair facing the fire, ignoring the two girls.
Nessa placed a hand on Anna’s shoulder. “I am sorry to tease. I thought ’twas obvious—that ye knew.”
Anna gazed at her over the rim of her cup. “Know what, Nessa?”
“Duncan favors ye.” Nessa grinned again.
Anna sputtered. “What?”
Nessa nodded, glee lighting her eyes. “Everyone sees it. I thought ye would, too.”
Anna gaped, at a loss for words.
Nessa frowned. “Anna, why are ye so surprised? I would think ye used to the attentions of men by now.”
Anna stared at the fire.
When she didn’t respond, Nessa started again. “Is it so difficult a thing to think my brother would find ye bonny?”
The odd sensation in Anna’s stomach flared again, this time bordering on pain. Men always fit into one of two categories in her life: enemy or ally. Enemies were to be watched, not trusted. Like those idiots who sought to court her. So very obvious. Never really interested in her, but in how much land and coin came with her in marriage. Allies were kin, or comrades in arms, people to rely on not to betray you. She had no room in her life for a third category. A man who, like an enemy, could injure or betray, though posing as the strongest of allies. The very thought chilled her blood.
“I—I am not attractive to men.”
Nessa flopped onto the edge of the hearthstone, staring dubiously at her. “Anna, whatever do ye mean?”
With a sweep of her hand she indicated her leather armor hanging from a hook on the wall. “What man wants a woman who dresses or behaves such? Where I am from, men only want women as decoration, servants, or for breeding. I am interested in none of those.”
She turned to stare into the flames on the hearth, her voice dropping to a whisper. “When men look at me, they do not see a woman but an aberration. Someone to be ridiculed—or conquered.”
They do not understand the cruel jests—from overbearing men and the fairer sex—or how I pretended not to care. The pain of admitting this to another took her by surprise. She’d told herself for many years she was unworthy of the love a man gave a woman, and had hidden from the ache of this knowledge. It was much easier to recall the negatives of relationships she saw, rather than remembering the love and tenderness her parents shared, or other couples she knew who loved each other. Internally shaking her head no, she repeated her oft-spoken words. I am not meant for love.
Anna lifted her chin, straightening in the chair. “I am simply a curiosity, an oddity. He is only interested because I am different—because I have defeated a number of men in his presence—nothing more.”
Nessa stared at her, the surprise on her face fading to sadness. Reaching for Anna’s hand, she drew her near, folding her in a firm embrace. Pulling back, she squeezed Anna’s hands, concern filling her eyes. “Anna, truly ye dinnae see yerself. I have admired ye so much, I havenae considered the cost ye paid to become as ye are. Still, it doesnae change the fact ye are bonny.”
Kissing Nessa’s forehead, Anna whispered, “Thank you. You are always so kind to me.”
* * *
They supped with the family in the great hall, amongst the rest of the clan, for the first time since her arrival. Anna sat on the ladies’ side of the table, furthest away from the laird. Duncan sat next to his father on the other side. Anna kept to herself, not speaking unless spoken to, giving only simple answers.
The rest of the clan seemed to have grown used to her presence. Overt stares and glances from the lower tables became subtle. The weight of their gazes un-balanced her as she sat on display at the high board.
Anna rose from the table when Mairi did, marking her first chance to leave. Duncan took the opportunity to approach.
“Would ye be interested in another ride tomorrow?”
Her stomach churned when he drew near. She chided herself for such an absurd reaction and replied by asking a question first.
“If I were to ride alone in your territory, would I be safe?” From the corner of her eye she watched the laird’s belly quiver with silent laughter.
Duncan took her question seriously. “I dare say ye would be safer than anyone fool enough to cross yer path. The laird made it clear. Ye are not to be harmed.”
Against her better judgment, and because she grew weary of remaining indoors, Anna acquiesced to his question. “Yes, I would like to ride again tomorrow. When?”
Duncan quirked a roguish smile. “How about after we break our fast? Da and I thought it wise for ye to become more familiar with our lands and to have our people get used to seeing ye about.”
“Very well, after the morning meal then. Thank you,” she answered in a stiff voice, forcing a fleeting smile, hoping she didn’t betray her edginess in his presence. She turned and followed Nessa upstairs.
Nessa bubbled with excitement.
“’Tis just riding,” Anna protested.
The girl spun around to look at Anna, her excitement undimmed. “I know.”
The next morning, Anna rose before the sun. Dressing quietly to avoid waking Nessa, she slipped out and made her way to the stables. She grabbed a shovel and nearby wooden cart and began clearing out Orion’s stall. He watched, occasionally nuzzling her shoulder. Lifting his head, he nickered. Anna turned to see who approached.
“What do ye think ye are doing?” Duncan blustered.
“My horse, my responsibility,” she shot back defiantly.
“Noblewomen dinnae muck stalls. We have stable boys for such chores.” His voice rolled thick with frustration.
She wiped sweat from her brow, leaned against the shovel and laughed. “I have been responsible for taking care of my own horse since I was old enough to ride, which includes mucking his stall. You must believe me a delicate thing if you think I cannot do a little work.”
“Ye, delicate? Nae, I would never make such a foolish mistake.” Humor crept into his voice.
Anna had to admit, yet again, he truly was a handsome man when his eyes crinkled with amusement. His smile did things to her insides she’d rather not consider. She could almost see the young boy he must have been. Both cheeks dimpled slightly, easing his appearance. The strangest urge to touch them rose, curious if they were as soft as she imagined, wondering what the stubble on his face would feel like under her fingers.
He wheeled the cart out to dump it into a large pile for the villagers as she put fresh hay in Orion’s stall. He leaned against the doorpost. “Why are ye here so early?”
“I feel better, and enjoy time alone tending my horse. ’Tis one of my favorite ways to think.”
“Aye, mine as well.”
“Sometimes I prefer being around horses to people. Horses do not judge your station, appearance or behavior if you treat them well.” Anna frowned, silently chastising herself for disclosing so much. What imp possessed her to allow him a glimpse of her soul?
Duncan tilted his head, drew his brows together and stared at her. “I know exactly what ye mean.” He stood silently as she finished her work. “If ye wish, I will fetch breakfast to take with us. We could make an early start.”
“That would be fine.”
Duncan departed the stables and returned with a small sack. Handing her an apple and a small loaf of sweet bread filled with nuts, seeds and berries, he hung a water skin on Orion’s saddle. “Anything in particular ye would like to do today?”
“Yes. I would like to cut a quarter staff, and am interested in gaining skins to line my cloak. I am not accustomed to the cold and damp here. I can only imagine how it will be come winter.” An involuntary shiver rippled through her as she thought about snow and the wind, which never ceased to blow.
“We have a man who can fill such a need. He is the village fletcher and cooper. A quarter staff would prove no problem for him. With regard to skins, we could simply purchase them. If not in the village, then from one of our neighbors. Ye hardly have to hunt them down yerself.”
“Duncan MacGregor, you confuse me yet again with a delicate noblewoman in need of charity. I am fully capable of cutting my own staff and skinning my own hides. I need only a satisfactory branch or billet and access to tools. With regard to the cloak, I know not what fur-bearing creatures live in your lands, so I will bow to your superior knowledge of where and what I should seek.”
Duncan laughed at her reply, and Anna thought it was as pleasing a sound as she’d ever heard. His deep baritone resonated like a distant peal of thunder. His face lit with humor and though his laughter subsided, mirth lingered in his eyes. The sound and sight brought an answering smile she couldn’t hold back. He should laugh more often. His stern look does not suit him. I wonder what causes such a dour guise.
“Aye, it appears I have made the same mistake again. I am usually a fast learner. I should think we can easily find a billet. Such tools are here in the stables. As far as what animals should have the good fortune to grace yer cloak, I would suggest waiting until Martinmas when their fur is fullest. Summer coats willnae do as good a job ye wish. As for what we would target, I suggest mink, fox or beaver. I dare say ye will find any of those satisfactory.”