****
Chapter 9: He’s a zombie!
“COLE! COME ON, COLE! SPEAK TO ME!”
“I’m sorry miss, he’s gone…”
“Rei, please calm down.”
“Cheza? Sara?” I ask the blanket of white. “Cheza, when did you start forming complete sentences?” Did her voice suddenly get deeper? “And can you please do something about that infernal beep?”
“HOLY HELL! THIS GUY IS STILL ALIVE! DOCTOR!”
“COLE!”
I feel Cheza grab my left hand as the world flashes so I close my eyes.
“Thanks” I say as the beep stops.
I open my eyes, slowly realizing that I’m in a hospital bed. I look over at Cheza (who is wearing a pair of light blue short shorts, and a white shirt with a glittery star on the front), with Sara (wearing jeans and a pastel yellow t-shirt) standing over her left shoulder.
I notice that Cheza is now 5’2”, has grown out her hair so that it reaches her shoulder blades and is swept from the right to cover her left eye. I look at her button nose, pouty lips, small icy-blue eyes, flawless cheeks, and finally her 34B bust, and I realize that the previous Cheza was just a memory.
“Alive!? What do you mean alive?” The doctor asks while walking down the hall. Sara smiles at me before turning and quickly walking out the room’s door to my left when she hears the doctor. The doctor enters the room and stops when he sees me moving while I try to comfort Cheza by grabbing her hand with both of mine. In one urgent motion, the doctor rushes up, grabs the bottom of the sheet that is covering up to navel level, and rips it clean off the bed before I even know what’s happening.
I watch as Cheza’s head turns left, towards the doctor, and then slightly down. Cheza’s eyes grow really wide, her face turns red (which is really obvious given Cheza’s pale complexion as a backdrop), and she quickly forces her head back in the direction of my face. She looks like she is trying really hard not to look back in that direction by the way her eyes are flicking spastically back and forth. It finally dawns on me that I’m completely naked.
“GOD DAMMIT DOC! THE SITUATION THAT I HAVE BEEN CAREFULLY AVOIDING FOR THE PAST TEN YEARS HAS FINALLY BEEN BROUGHT TO FRUITION BECAUSE OF YOUR CARELESSNESS!” I yell at the completely distracted doctor.
“This just can’t be! How can this young man be alive? The doctor that was on the plane said his wound stopped bleeding and that his heart rate had become undetectable less than 5 minutes after the incident!” the doctor mutters to himself
Just as the doctor was starting to head into a full meltdown mode that included crying into the corner in the fetal position with the possible addition of him smearing fecal matter on the walls, Tia strides into the room in black stiletto boots, tight fitting jeans, and a burgundy camisole. Sara follows her in as Tia digs through her purse, walks over to the doctor, and then smacks him across the face with a stack of $100 bills hard enough to leave an impression of Ben on his cheek. She looks at him for a moment before she takes the stack of bills and smacks him on the other cheek for good measure.
Tia stuffs the stack of bills in his agape mouth, before saying “Just dig the bullet out of his stomach, stitch him up, and stop asking stupid questions.”
She leans in close and whispers into his ear, “the kind of questions that can completely destroy the lives of you and your loved ones.”
I find it a little strange that I can hear her whispering across the room, as though she were whispering in my ear instead. Tia turns to me with a smile, flicks her gaze downward and then flicks it back up to my face while wearing her predatory smile.
“Well, well, well. Here’s someone I haven’t seen in a while,” Tia says, still wearing her predatory smile and leaving me completely uncertain as to whether she is talking about my penis or not.
“Is it just me or have you gotten bigger?” Now I’m about eighty percent sure she is talking about my penis.
“Hurry and cover up! You’re distracting Chezarei, you naughty boy!” Tia says as she rips the sheet from the still stunned doctor and tosses it over my lap.
Now I’m almost positive that last one was directed at my penis. I look at Cheza to find that she has completely turned away from me and is apparently trying to count the bubbles in the ceiling tiles. Is that like baseball statistics for women? When I look back, Tia just winks at me and walks out of the room.
Yep, that was definitely about my penis.
Chapter 10: Knocked that asshole into a coma
“Alright miss, we need to take him back for surgery now,” the female nurse says while trying to stifle her laughter.
The nurse seems to have recovered much faster, taking charge of the situation while the doctor is still in a state of shock. Jeez! Based on his reaction, you would think that this doctor has never been slapped with a stack of $100 bills!
“Okay,” Cheza sniffles. “I’ll be here when you wake up, alright?”
I smile and nod at Cheza to reassure her that I am indeed going to wake back up. She returns the smile and walks out of the room. As the nurse starts prepping the IV on my right hand and as the anesthesiologist comes in to inject anesthesia into my IV, I start to remember the situation similar to this one that I had been in before.
****
I came into consciousness to a pounding headache and a steady beeping noise (the latter not helping the former). The sound of two people talking in the room grabbed my attention. Since I was unable to open my eyes, I listened in on the conversation.
“Then Rei screamed Cole—” Jason said before being cut off.
“But Chezarei doesn’t speak,” Tia said, interrupting Jason.
“Well, she was earlier,” Jason continued.
“She screamed his name a total of three times, usually after bouts of moaning,” Jason paused, as if remembering that Cheza and I are siblings, and then he said, “Sorry. I make stupid jokes when I’m nervous around pretty girls.”
“Well he might be stupid, but at least we know that he’s honest and has great taste in women!” Tia exclaimed and Sara scoffed, making her presence known to me. Based on Uncle Eric’s lack of laughter, I take it that he took Cheza home.
“Umm… Thanks?” Jason replied. “Anyway, Rei shouted his name three times, but the first time was most important. I had stopped the video after Cole got knocked out because it didn’t look like he was going to get back up again and I had all the evidence I needed. I moved from my spot underneath the tree and started to run towards the security room. Then I stopped when I heard Rei scream Cole’s name and Dwight started shouting at her.”
Ah, so that was Ogre’s real name. Jason continued his recalling of events.
“I was torn between running to get help and intervening to increase Rei’s chances of not getting hurt. Suddenly, Cole gets to his feet as if he were a puppet suspended on strings and he charged at Dwight like a man possessed. I stood there, stunned by the total badassery, as Cole flew through the air and threw an elbow into the back of Dwight’s head, forcing Dwight into the wall. Then Dwight was on his knees, screaming and holding his arm, and then there was this blur and Cole was kneeling on Dwight’s chest pummeling his face into the ground! It was great! Specks of that asshole’s blood were flying everywhere, hitting the wall and a bit even reached Rei! I started to run toward them to make sure Dwight’s two cronies didn’t finish Cole off. When they turned and ran, scared shitless and covered in specks of Dwight’s blood, I slowed to a jog.
At that point, Rei stood and started to get closer to stop Cole so I called out to her and warned her to stop in case Cole caught her with a reeling elbow from his punching. Then Cole turned around and looked at me so I introduced myself and he introduced himself and Rei. Then the security officer came around the corner and blah, blah, blah, Cole collapses on his face, Rei screams. The ambulances comes and the EMT’s load Cole into one of the ambulances. Rei starts in after Cole but the EMT is all ‘No I’m sorry miss but you can’t ride with him’ but Rei wasn’t having any
of that. The look on the EMT’s face was priceless! Understandably too. I mean, if I had a girl with specks of blood on her face staring icy daggers into me like that, I’d get the hell out of her way too haha! I followed into the ambulance after her while the EMT was still stunned, and here we are.”
“Thank you, Jason. You have been very helpful. I just have one last question: why do you hate this Dwight boy so much?” Tia asked.
“During orientation last year, he purposely tripped me down a flight of stairs, breaking my arm, and then just laughed in response,” Jason explained.
“Thank you, Jason. You may leave now,” Tia said making it sound a lot more like an order than an option.
“Alright cool… Well, I’m going to the cafeteria to get something to eat. I guess I’ll come back in like an hour to see if he’s awake and then I’ll rethink my options,” Jason replied.
“Isn’t there someone that can come pick you up?” Sara asked, warmth and concern emanating from her voice.
“Nah, my mom is always away on business and my dad isn’t around. I just walk to and from school. I only live about two miles away. Anyway, need food,” Jason replied sounding a bit uncomfortable, and then he left the room.
“Tia! Did you notice that kid!?” Sara urgently whispered. “And it sounds as if Cole—” Tia cut her off, making a tsk sound by sucking her teeth.
“Just get some rest Cole,” Tia said to me.
As sleep took me, I heard Sara say, “Damn he is getting good at that!”
…
I awoke some time later to a pounding headache, a steady beeping noise (the latter still not helping the former), and a warmth on my right hand and leg. I looked over to investigate the heat source and saw Cheza holding my hand, resting her head and shoulders next to my leg from her seat at my bedside. She was wearing jeans and a blue t-shirt, confirming my earlier hypothesis about Uncle Eric taking her home. A familiar fruity smell was permeating the air that I quickly recognized as Cheza’s hair. The smell reminded me of frozen mandarin oranges for some strange reason.
I quickly scanned the room and noticed the bathroom to my left, diagonally from the door to the right of my bed. I moved slowly so I wouldn’t wake Cheza, and then made a brisk walk towards the bathroom. I didn’t feel too bad, all things considered.
“Well, you have certainly gotten bigger since I last took a bath with you seven years ago!” I heard Tia say, knowing that seductive smile was on her face because of her tone. I froze and slowly turned, suddenly aware that I was completely naked. Tia was sitting in a chair with a book face down on her lap, wearing white shorts, a blue t-shirt, and matching blue sandals that just screamed ‘Athens’ to me. The reason I hadn’t seen her is because the chair was blocked by the folded privacy curtain on the wall.
“Here, put this on in case Chezarei wakes up,” Tia said and tossed me a gown that was on the table to her right.
“Thanks,” I muttered and then hustled to the bathroom to do my business and get dressed.
I exited the bathroom to find Tia reading her book and Cheza still sleeping. Not surprising considering the rough day that she had, what with the getting covered in blood while her brother nearly beat a guy to death after watching her brother get the shit kicked out of him. Wait, I’m that brother.
Cheza snorted slightly before whispering “Cole” on the exhale. I started to wonder if she could say anything else.
“As far as I can tell, that is the only thing she can say so far,” Tia said, interjecting on my thoughts. I looked over to find that she hadn’t even looked up from her book. I didn’t reply while I carefully climbed back into bed.
“You just missed Jason. Sara is giving him a ride home right now,” Tia informed me in a hushed tone.
“Am I expelled?” I asked.
Tia snorted in response. “No, I had an associate of mine take care of it.”
Tia’s response immediately made me think that my earlier assessment of her previous career had been a little off. I don’t think she was a bear assassin… I think she trained bear assassins! And I don’t mean people who assassinate bears—I’m thinking of bear assassins. An elaborate montage of scenes flashed into my head:
Four different species of bears sitting around a table in a dark room that is lit only by a Pixar style lamp that is shining directly on the dossiers of their targets. There’s a bear sitting at a café wearing a brown fedora and matching trench coat, reading a newspaper while watching one of the school’s board members order his coffee. The next day, he is working there as a replacement for the regular barista who is ‘sick and totally not tied up in the trunk of his car’. When the board member comes up and orders his regular, non-fat latte with caramel, BAM! Poison!
Another bear is running surveillance on another board member, making notes of the times she goes to work each morning. A team of two other bears hides in the bushes in the dead of night while wearing night vision goggles. They rush over to the second board member’s car that is parked in her driveway and rig a pound of C-4 to the ignition block. The next morning when she turns her car on, BOOM!
All four bears are sitting around the table, which now has stacks of magazines on it, looking ridiculous as they cut out letters for an anonymous threatening letter to the third board member that says “If you don’t want to end up like the other two, then do as we say! Bring two million in non-sequential bills to this address. OR, leave the affairs of *undisclosed* private school to the school’s principal,” Finally, Tia talks with the school principal to seal the deal.
“But you do have to see the principal once you go back to school,” Tia finished.
I stared at Tia, still horrified by the thought of her team of bear assassins.
“Don’t worry! That guy isn’t dead. He is just in a mild coma. I am tempted to send one of my associates to persuade him to assure that he never messes with you or Chezarei again. You know, when he wakes up… or if,” Tia said while completely misjudging the look of horror upon my face.
A picture flashed into my head of two bears holding down Dwight’s arms, his ass sticking up in the air while a third bear rips down his pants and carves ‘I WILL NOT FUCK WITH COLE OR CHEZAREI’ into his ass with a shank, followed by an alternate picture of a bear holding a pillow down on Dwight’s unconscious face.
I just looked at Tia with my mouth agape after snapping out of my montage, and said “Don’t do that.”
Tia laughed in response and said “I’m going to go get something to drink,” as she stood up and started for the door. When she reached the doorway, Tia turned around, walked over, and hugged me.
“You did well, Cole… protecting Chezarei like that,” she whispered into my ear, causing me to become officially freaked out.
Tia broke away from the hug and gave me a warm, tender, smile while resting her hands on my shoulders, a gesture that had seemed almost impossible from Tia.
“Get some rest, Cole. You’ve earned it,” Tia said
I was officially convinced that this was all a freaky dream so I allowed unconsciousness to reclaim me, hoping that it would wake me up.
****
Chapter 11: Meth Addicted Bunnies
I open my eyes and see full-sized Cheza sitting to my left, smiling warmly at me.
“How do you feel?” she asks. Something is off, but I can’t quite place it.
“Like somebody has been digging around in my stomach for the past few hours, but other than that, good,” I answer with a smile. I just can’t shake this feeling…
“That’s great! This means I can interrogate you without feeling bad,” Cheza mumbles.
‘Did she just say interrogate? Nah, she couldn’t have. My little sister doesn’t go around interrogating people!’ I think, smiling to myself.
While still warmly smiling, Cheza stands up, hops onto my bed, and sits on my legs, effectively trapping me. I feel my heart rate pick up.
“So… who’s Amy?” Cheza asks while still smiling, but with a slightly homicidal glint to
her eyes.
“To whom might you be referring?” I ask nervously.
I have a really bad feeling about this. My heart starts beating a little faster. Cheza reaches behind her back and pulls out a small gift bag and hands it to me. Not daring to take my eyes off Cheza, I reach into the bag and feel a small cloth bundle.
Oh dear god no.
I close my eyes and pull out the small bundle. I’m almost too afraid to open them to confirm that this bundle is what I think it is. I open my eyes and immediately wish I hadn’t. Currently clutched in my hands is a pair of white and turquoise striped, cotton panties. I unfurl them and a business card sized piece of paper slips out that simply says ‘Amy’ with her phone number. My heart monitor suddenly goes off and starts beeping loudly. I guess it was on silent mode and set to beep when it gets above or below a certain rate. I look over at the annoyingly loud box and see that my heart rate is currently at 192 beats-per-minute. A brunette nurse wearing pink scrubs rushes into the room, then stops and gives me a surreptitious smile.
“I was wonderin’ what had yer heart rate jacked up like a meth-addicted bunny in a rattler’s cage, but I see what’s goin’ on. Let me just unhook ya’ from this for a li’l while. Now, don’t be too rough with him dear. Ya’ don’t wanna rip his stitches and have blood squirtin’ everywhere, ruinin’ the mood. Oh and please clean up after yerselves so we don’t have to. Have fun!” the nurse says with a twang to her voice while having completely misinterpreted the situation and my pleading eyes.
During the nurse’s little speech, Cheza had been looking at the ground with a smattering of embarrassment across her face. The second the nurse leaves the room, her switch flips back and the interrogation begins once again.
“So who is she?” Cheza asks.
“W-Who?” I answer again, stuttering from my increasing nervousness.
“Amy. You know, blonde girl with blue eyes, about three inches taller than me and probably about sixteen? You know, the girl willing to give you her panties and phone number as a ‘get well soon’ gift and asked me to tell you to call her!” Cheza exclaims, her voice getting increasingly louder
That Which is Unexpected Page 4