“Cole! We need to get you to the hospital!” Natasha exclaims.
“No! If I go to the hospital then Cheza will blame herself for not listening and leaving the room. Besides, Airi says that I can get all three out by filling up my stomach with blood and then vomiting the bullets up,” I tell her.
“WHO IN THE HELL IS AIRI!?” Natasha loudly whispers.
“Okay, I’ll tell you but don’t get concerned. She’s this voice in my head that gives me useful information. She also has a wicked sense of humor. I named her Airi because she sounds like the voice from my smartphone,” I say. Natasha thinks for a second, and then looks concerned.
“Cole, did Airi tell you to do that thing to Chezarei last night?” Natasha cautiously asks.
“Umm, no… that was kind of all me. Airi actually told me I should ‘do as she says’,” I inform her.
“Oh, okay… What about that thing with the ping pong paddle?” Natasha asks with a sly smile. “I’ll go keep Chezarei distracted, but try to hurry.”
(If that girl ever locates a ping pong paddle, you are going to have a dilemma)
Chapter 4: Oh right, that…
I walk out of the bathroom five minutes and 1.5 liters of blood later, as the room’s phone rings.
“Hello?” I ask after hitting the speaker button.
“Hello, Mr. Treyfair? It’s the front desk. We received a complaint about possible gunfire coming from the seventeenth floor. Is everything alright?”
“Oh, I do apologize for that. My friend was playing a very unfunny practical joke and tossed me a string of firecrackers in the shower—” I say and then Natasha cuts in, playing the part amicably from across the room.
“Sorry about that Cole, but they do say that payback is a bitch!” Natasha shouts.
“I’ll cover any damages and I do apologize if we frightened and/or worried anyone and I’m sure my friend is sorry and won’t be doing anything like that again—” I say before Natasha cuts in again.
“I won’t, but you really shouldn’t have done that thing with the ping pong paddle and the baby oil while I was sleeping, Cole!” Natasha shouts as Cheza starts laughing and I chuckle. Being smacked by someone with a ping pong paddle that has been slathered in baby oil would really hurt.
“And you shouldn’t have been sleeping with your ass up in the air while not wearing any pants!” I shout back.
“I still wasn’t able to walk right for a week! Although, I’m not sure if it was from your prank or that other thing…” Natasha shouts.
“What other thing?” I question.
“You know, that thing with the Belgian waffle mix and the funnel!” Natasha shouts. Cheza starts holding onto her sides while trying to keep her laughter at a dull roar.
“Oh right, that… Anyway, is there anything else you needed ma’am?” I ask the clerk.
“Oh, yes, there is a guest here to see you,” the clerk replies
“A guest you say?” I repeat. Cheza and Natasha immediately stop laughing.
“Yes, shall I send them up?” the clerk asks.
“Yes please, and sorry again for the misunderstanding,” I reply, ending the conversation.
“Natasha, P90,” I demand and she tosses me one. I check the magazine and cock it.
“Okay, just to make sure, no one ordered pizza while I was in the bathroom right? I don’t feel like ruining a pizza boy’s pants,” They both shake their heads. “That’s what I thought. Natasha, how is your submachine gun training?”
“Sufficient at this range,” She answers.
“Good enough for me. Cheza, I want you to stay in the bedroom,” I say.
“No,” Cheza simply replies while picking up the other P90. She inserts a new magazine and loads the chamber with seemingly knowledgeable precision.
“Cheza, we don’t have time for this. Do you even know how to shoot that?” I ask.
“Aim low to account for recoil when firing on automatic but it would be a better idea for me to tap the trigger because of my size and relative inexperience with submachine guns… Sara would sometimes take me to the gun range in Scottsdale after school and this nice man taught me to shoot. His name was—” Cheza explains.
“Mr. Archer. Say no more,” I cut her short. If Cheza ends up hurt because of that crazy gun-running South African, I will be paying him a visit.
“Natasha, I want you and Cheza taking cover behind the bar. I’ll take this side of the hall so try not to shoot me,” I say from the left side of the hall, near the bathroom door.
I hear the elevator door ding and I motion for them to get into cover. They do so while I rush to the front doorway now that Cheza can’t argue. I enhance my hearing and listen for the footsteps of our guest, waiting for them to get closer. I’ll round the corner and surprise them when they are about twenty feet away: Fifty… forty… thirty… twenty-five… stopped. Stopped?
“Cole, this is an example of you putting your hearing to good use!” I hear someone whisper.
“TIA!?” I shout in surprise as I round the corner.
“Hey Cole, glad to see you’re safe, but it sounds like I got here a little late. Are the other two alright?” Tia asks as we walk into the room. “Looks like you got shot a few times.”
My eyes go wide as Cheza shouts from the bar, “COLE YOU GOT SHOT!?”
“His jacket, I mean. Don’t worry, Chezarei!” Tia covers, thankfully catching the hint. “So what’s been going on? That anecdote I overheard was hilarious by the way. Nice thinking Cole!”
“Thanks. Well—” I say.
“I mean, it was very nice of you to coat the ping pong paddle handle in baby oil before shoving it up Natasha’s ass in place of lube!” Tia laughs and Natasha joins her. I swear they have to be related.
“But I didn’t know you were so kinky! Belgian waffle mix and a funnel?” Tia says with a questioning look.
“Tia, have you ever had any demigod children?” I ask.
“Why do you… Oh, don’t worry Cole! Everything is the same down there,” Tia says with a wink.
“Tia, how did you get here? I mean, Cole called you less than fifteen minutes ago,” Cheza asks.
“Well, something in Cole’s voice made me worried—” Tia starts.
“You mean you could actually hear me!?” I ask with overdramatic surprise.
“So I called Kira and asked if she could port me from the house to here,” Tia says while ignoring me entirely.
“What’s this ‘port’ thing?” Cheza inquires.
“It’s like opening a dimensional rift or something. Only the heads of each pantheon can port to any plane, but all gods can port to their pantheon’s respective planes, with a few exceptions, of course,” Tia answers.
“Wait, if the heads can port, then is Loki able to do it now too?” I question.
“Perhaps in another hundred years or so, but a change in power like this has never happened before so we don’t really know. He might already be able to,” Tia answers.
“So, Kira ported to the house and then Chezarei called asking about were-sharks so Kira is having me audit the Hawaiian pantheon for perfidy and she wants Cole to assist,” Tia finishes.
“How am I supposed to help figure out if a pantheon has turned traitor?” I ask.
“I guess I should have specified. Kira doesn’t want you to help me with the investigation so much as she wants you to help by being bait,” Tia explains. “Basically, you should just keep doing what you’re doing and try to find Jason. Any traitorous gods on the islands should come and try to kill you and take Chezarei, so it will all work out!”
“YEAH, FOR YOU MAYBE!” I shout at her.
“Anyway, for right now you have already identified one traitor: Kamohoali’i, shark god and stupid brother to my friend Pele, whom I am taking you all to meet now. Oh and Natasha, you’ve been promoted to The Agency’s official liaison to The Faction. Congratulations!” Tia says.
“Sweet! Do I get my own slave—I mean, assistant? Can I pick Cole!? Com
e love assistant, and bring the ping pong paddle!” Natasha orders.
“Hehe, I love this girl!” Tia exclaims. There is no way they aren’t related.
“Hey Tia, can gods be cloned?” I ask.
“What is it with you and the weird questions today!? First with the sex comas and then the morning after pill and then about how tight I am and now you’re asking if you can clone me to have as your sex slave! Cole, if you want to have sex with me, just say so!” Tia exclaims sarcastically… I think.
“NOW YOU’RE AFTER TIA TOO!?” Cheza screams. “COLE, I DEMAND THAT YOU HAVE SEX WITH ME!”
“Chezarei, we should wait until we get to Pele’s, she will want to join too. Oh, and don’t worry, Cole. Unlike the stories, she won’t kill you post-coitus… probably,” Tia says.
“I guess I’ll join too. It is my job as the official liaison,” Natasha says.
“Hehe nice pun Natasha,” Tia comments.
“Why thank you, Tia! Nice job getting Chezarei all worked up. You should’ve seen it last night when Chezarei walked in on Cole giving me a massage. I took his hand, set it on my tit, and watched the fireworks!” Natasha replies.
“What!? Why don’t I remember any this!?” Cheza asks.
“DAMMIT NATASHA! What did I say!? Now come up with a reason why Cheza would suddenly faint!” I yell as I block the blood flow to Cheza brain again. I’m worried that there might be some long term effects if I keep doing this… I catch Cheza before she hits the ground.
“And then he did that,” Natasha says to Tia.
“Cole… how did you do that?” Tia asks, looking very worried.
“I told you how I had to restart Cheza’s heart, right? Well, last night I discovered that I can control my blood that is still in her so I kinda blocked the oxygen to her brain a little. I was hoping that she wouldn’t remember or think that it was a dream like you guys did to me,” I explain while looking at the ceiling.
“Oh, okay. Good,” Tia says in relief and I snap my eyes back to her in annoyance.
“Good!? I’m forcing her to pass out when having her conscious is too inconvenient! Tell me to stop or that I’m a terrible person or something!” I shout at her, not fully understanding why I’m angry.
“Cole, I thought you were manipulating other peoples’ blood now. That would make the gods worried enough to destroy you no matter what. I’m relieved that isn’t the case,” Tia says, forcing the memory of her crying on top of me while holding a knife into my mind.
“The only reason that you are angry at me is because you’re projecting the animosity you feel towards yourself for having done something like this,” Tia explains with a gentle smile that seems misplaced.
“You’re right…” I reply as I look down at Cheza’s sleeping face.
I take her into the bedroom and tuck her in before walking back out into the main room and sitting down in one of the chairs.
“Hey Tia… if I could do something that I thought would make the gods worried enough to destroy me… would you want to know?” I ask and Tia suddenly looks very worried again.
“I should say yes so I can know if you are a threat, but I am saying yes because I want to protect you. Natasha, stop being liaison for the next few minutes,” Tia says.
“Consider it done. Can I stay and listen though?” Natasha asks. Tia looks to me, I nod the affirmative, and Tia motions for me to start.
“Well, after Illapa struck Cheza and me with the lightning that stopped Cheza’s heart, something weird happened. I just completely lost myself and all I could focus on is how I was going to make Illapa suffer. Then I noticed silver tendrils wafting from my cuts. They speared forward and lifted Illapa up off the ground, immobilizing him. I looked in my right hand and noticed I had made something that I’m calling the Mu-cutter. The Mu-cutter is basically a molecular cutter made of a string of silicon carbide molecules. I walked up to him, relishing in the horror on his face. He asked what I was before I effortlessly sliced off his left arm. Then he called me a monster and said that ‘they’ were going to hunt me down before I sliced his pelvis in half. Then he said that ‘they’ were going to kill ‘that little bitch’ of mine before I slowly drilled a hole through his stomach, getting a primal pleasure from hearing his screams of agony. His entire body was flaking away before I divided him into quadrants and got the idea to save Cheza,” I explain, closing my eyes because I just can’t handle being able to see what’s on Tia’s face right now.
“There, it’s alright now, Cole,” Tia soothingly says as she comes over and hugs me.
“Have you been able to create the Mu-cutter since that time?” Tia inquires.
“I haven’t tried. From what Airi said, it uses up 1.8 Liters to make and the tendrils used up a total of 2.0 Liters for eight of them, I think,” I tell her with my face against her stomach.
“Could you try and make the Mu-cutter now?” Tia asks while pulling away from me.
“I would, but I’m about a liter low right now. I had to fill my stomach with blood so I could vomit up the bullets and I’ve regenerated about half a liter since that time. Add another 1.8 Liters to that and I’ll likely pass out before it’s completed,” I tell her.
“Let’s try another time then,” Tia replies while warmly smiling at me.
I feel that Cheza is waking up so I head into the bedroom.
“Mmm… Cole?” Cheza sleepily asks.
“Hey, how are you feeling? The fatigue must have caught up to you and you fainted,” I lie.
“Cole… I know that you manipulated your blood that is in me to make me faint…” Cheza says.
“H-how?” I stammer, slightly afraid for my life.
“For the same reason that I know that you’re a little afraid of my reaction, but don’t be. I also know that you feel guilty about it, so I forgive you. And I also know that you are low on blood, which most likely having something to do with the reason there are three bullet holes in your stomach that are still healing. Cole, why did you lie to me about getting shot?” Cheza says quietly.
“I just don’t want to make you worry…” I tell her.
“Cole, I love you so it’s okay for me to worry. I just don’t want to be in the dark anymore. Also… why won’t you have sex with me?” Cheza asks.
“I, uh… how do I say this…” I stumble along.
“Still see me as a little sister and not as a woman,” Cheza answers for me, looking downtrodden.
“I guess I’ll just have to work on that,” Cheza smiles, but it seems somewhat insincere.
(Can she hear me as well?)
As soon as Airi says that, I feel my mind connect with Cheza’s.
“Whoa! Was that Airi!?” Cheza exclaims.
“Cheza, can you hear me too?” I think. Cheza eyes go wide as she nods in response.
“Stay here, I’m going to test something,” I think as I race out of the room and down the hall to the elevator. “Can you still hear me?”
“Yeah… Cole, this is a little freaky,” Cheza replies in my mind.
“Airi, can you close the link?” I ask and feel the connection between Cheza and I close. “Open it again, please.”
“Cheza?” I think as I start walking back down the hall.
“Yup, I can hear you. That’s good that we can close it. Being able to constantly hear each other’s thoughts would get embarrassing,” Cheza replies.
“Yeah it would! We should tell Tia about this,” I think as I re-enter the bedroom. Tia probably should know and since this seems like a day for sharing things…
“Wow! That’s what happened while I was out!?” Cheza asks aloud.
“What?” I ask.
“I just saw your conversation with Tia from your point of view,” Cheza replies.
“Airi, close the link,” I think as I shout “Tia!”
“What’s up? My guess is that Chezarei can somehow hear Airi and you were testing to see if Chezarei could still hear her if you were far apart,” Tia asks.
“Close
. Airi can open a connection between us that allows us to telepathically talk to one another and Cheza was just able to see my memory of the conversation that we had a little earlier,” I inform her. Tia looks a little shocked by the news.
“Okay, just one more thing that we are not going to tell anyone else, besides Sara,” Tia says and then gets a mischievous look on her face. “Chezarei, I have something that I need to talk to you about. Cole, leave.”
I really don’t like the look on her face, but I do as she says. I’m tempted to listen in but I know that Tia will give me hell for it if I do… or worse: she will tell Cheza. Cheza knowing about my extrasensory hearing is definitely something that I don’t want. I grab a glass of juice in an attempt to aid my blood’s recovery while Natasha talks on her phone. Cheza and Tia walk out of the bedroom as Natasha hangs up.
“Tia, we may need to postpone that trip to see Pele. I just called The Agency’s local office to inform them of what’s happened, and they told me there have been indications that a coup d'état has been staged within the Hawaiian pantheon. Kamohoali’i is most likely the leader behind the coup,” Natasha says. Tia pulls out her phone and starts texting.
“Okay, Pele just told me that they are having a debate to decide what side to go with in this war. Pele: head of the pantheon and goddess of fire and volcanoes, Hi’iaka: goddess of water and Pele’s favorite sister, and Kahoali’i: god of the underworld, are firmly with The Faction. However, Kamohoali’i: shark god and Pele’s brother, Ku: god of war and one of four Greater gods, Paka’a: god of winds, and The Poli’ahu: four goddesses of snow, are against us and are throwing their bid in with Loki and the Norse pantheon. This debate isn’t just for the Hawaiian sect though. It’s for the whole Polynesian pantheon. The stakes are high in this so Kira wants all of us to attend. She told me to text her to port us out if things start to go south,” Tia informs us.
“Alright, so when is the debate?” I ask.
“Tonight, at Pele’s home in the Halemaumau Crater.”
That Which is Unexpected Page 20