Fear of Fire and Shadow

Home > Other > Fear of Fire and Shadow > Page 5
Fear of Fire and Shadow Page 5

by S. Young


  Jarvis held Haydyn’s gaze. “We think you might want to consider a betrothal between Your Highness and Markiz Andrei of Alvernia—son of Vojvoda Andrei Rada. It would greatly improve relations between the two provinces and would be an excellent start toward civilizing the north.”

  Haydyn turned pale at the suggestion. She looked at me and winced at what she saw in my expression. Then she threw back her shoulders, her chin rising. In defiance of my opinion, it would seem. “I think it’s a very good idea. And one we must consider. Vojvoda Andrei and his son are invited to the ball next month, are they not?”

  “Yes,” Ava replied, relief sparking in her eyes. “They are, Princezna. They’re staying at the palace with the rest of the Rada and their families. It will be a wonderful opportunity for you both to get to know one another.”

  “Splendid.” Jarvis clapped his hands and Haydyn smiled, glad to have pleased them.

  The walk back to her suite had been ice cold as Matai refused to look at either of us. He opened the door to her suite and shut it softly in our wake. Not one word had passed between the lovers.

  “I just can’t believe you’re even considering marrying some stranger.”

  Haydyn’s cheeks colored with a deep blush, and I knew she was growing impatient with me. “It may be what’s best for Phaedra. I’m finally doing something worthy of a leader and you’re angry at me?”

  “You’re not doing something worthy of a leader. You’re doing what someone else wants you to do. As always!”

  She flinched, hurt stark in her eyes.

  I instantly felt awful but words of apology stuck in my throat.

  “There was never a future for me and Matai,” she whispered sorrowfully, pleading with me to understand. “He’s not of a high enough rank.”

  “You can have any future you want, Haydyn.” I gestured out the window. “You can do what you like, love who you love, be who you want to be. And there is nothing they can do about it because they need you.”

  Haydyn trembled, clasping onto a bed post. “No.” She shook her head, growing wanner by the second. “Something’s wrong with Phaedra and I have to fix it. Jarvis knows how. The betrothal is a good idea,” she gasped, seeming out of breath.

  I was too angry to pay attention. How dare she play the sacrificial lamb when we owed her everything. We couldn’t just take and take from her, ensuring our safety and happiness at the expense of her own. “Haydyn, it’s a good idea. But not the best idea. Not the only idea. Surely, we can come up with something else. You don’t—”

  “Rogan …”

  “—know if Andrei of Alvernia is a despicable lout like the rest of the mountain people are supposed to—”

  “Rogan …”

  “—be. He could—”

  “Rogan!” Haydyn gasped and fell toward me. My heart flared in panic as I rushed to catch her. Thankfully I caught her before she hit the ground, but her eyes rolled back in her head and she grew limp and lifeless in my arms.

  “Haydyn.” I shook her. “Haydyn.” I shook her harder but her eyes wouldn’t open. She was so pale. So deathly pale. I choked on a sob. “Haydyn! Wake up!” A sob broke out from the pit of my stomach. “MATAI!” I screamed. “MATAI!”

  Chapter 5

  The room was silent. Like death had crept into the palace and snuffed out all the candles, all the cheer, all the life. I looked around at my companions and swallowed past the constriction in my throat.

  “I’ve called you all here for a reason.” I forced out the words.

  After Haydyn had collapsed in my arms, Matai burst into the room and he wasn’t alone. For some reason, Wolfe was with him.

  Unable to rouse Haydyn, I silently walked through the palace, terrified of spreading panic. I quietly ushered Valena and Raj to the suite. When Raj gravely informed us that he and Valena needed more time to discover Haydyn’s illness, deep suspicion and fear coalesced inside me. I sent a messenger out for Vojvoda Jarvis and Grofka Ava and met them in the grand entranceway before I brought them to my suite where Wolfe and Matai waited.

  They paled at the news of Haydyn’s collapse and were outraged to learn it wasn’t the first time. I bore the brunt of their anger.

  Finally, Valena called us into Haydyn’s suite. A passing maid’s eyes widened at the sight of our illustrious group, and I shooed her away with a warning that she was not to speak of this to anyone. She nodded before hurrying away.

  Inside we were greeted by a very grave Raj. And then he confirmed our worst fears. Haydyn had fallen ill to the Somna. The rarest of illnesses in Phaedra, the Somna, more colloquially known as the sleeping disease, was a mystery to us. No one knew where, why, or what caused it. There had been fewer and fewer records of the Somna over the last centuries, but now and again it took hold of someone without warning. It caused a growing lethargy that soon led to the victim falling into a coma-like state. If the victim was lucky enough to have a Dravilec nearby, the healer could hold off death by healing the sleeping person from starvation and dehydration. If not, death was inevitable … unless one could find the rare leaves of the Somna plant, the only cure to the sleeping disease—a plant that was now said to be extinct.

  I stared around the Chambers of the Rada at Jarvis, Ava, Matai, Wolfe, Valena, and Raj. Only we knew Haydyn was dying. It was the reason Phaedra was falling apart. Unbeknownst to her, her magic was waning with her illness.

  I thought of my harsh words to Haydyn, the words that had been my last. I flinched and then gritted my teeth. They wouldn’t be my last. Haydyn was not dying. Not while I had breath in my body.

  “Someone command me to seek the Somna plant,” I urged.

  Wolfe’s eyes widened as everyone shifted, as if waking out of a coma themselves. “Of course,” he whispered, and they all seemed to admonish themselves for not having thought of it before. “Rogan—”

  “Not you,” I interrupted. I wouldn’t be ordered to seek anything from another Stovia again. He threw me a wounded look I refused to believe wasn’t a manipulation. Ignoring him, I turned to Jarvis. “Vojvoda.”

  He nodded militantly. “Rogan, I command you to seek the Somna plant.”

  Waves crashed within and I shuddered at the immense current of energy coursing through me. I’d never experienced the magic like this before, my nerves buzzing and twanging, my muscles twitching. Even my gums ached with it.

  As the knowledge of the plant’s existence formed in my mind, I realized why the impact was so great this time. The Somna plant was buried in the northernmost point of Phaedra.

  I had never had to seek anything so far from me before.

  “It exists.” I exhaled in relief, my heart in my throat, tears pricking my eyes.

  “Where?” Matai croaked.

  I braced myself. What a journey lay ahead of me. “The Pool of Phaedra.”

  Ava gasped. “In the mountains of Alvernia?”

  “Is there any other?” I answered.

  Jarvis eyed me worriedly. “You are willing to retrieve it, aren’t you? Our kingdom is at stake.”

  Curling my lip in scorn, I replied coldly, “Of course, I will retrieve it. Not for our kingdom but for my princezna.” Nothing else mattered but saving Haydyn. Saving the kingdom was just a consequence of succeeding in my mission.

  “We’ll send word ahead to Vojvoda Andrei Rada that I and members of the Royal Guard are coming to visit his province. Let him and everyone else think Haydyn has sent me to divine whether a possible betrothal between her and the markiz will suit her and the kingdom. Everyone knows Haydyn defers to my opinion, so no one will question it. In reality, I will spend only a day or so at Arrana and head into the mountains to retrieve the plant.”

  I barely took a moment to breathe before continuing, “At home, you will spread the tale that Haydyn has decided she would like some peace from palace life. She’s staying in her cottage at Land’s End.” I took a moment to think who would be most trustworthy to accompany her. “She’ll need a chaperone, for appearance’s sake,
so we’ll send Seamstress Rowan with Matai, Raj, and Valena. Rowan can be trusted.” I stared them all down. “No one must know the truth but us and Rowan.”

  They stared as if they’d never seen me before. Jarvis gave me what might pass for a proud look as he nodded. “It’s an excellent plan, Rogan.”

  “How long will it take you to retrieve the plant?” Valena asked, her fingers worrying the handkerchief in her hand. She hadn’t stopped crying since she’d helped Raj uncover Haydyn’s illness.

  I looked to Wolfe. He was the only one who knew the provinces well. He cocked his head to the side, considering it. “Without interruption? With the Royal Guard—”

  I shook my head. “Not all of them.”

  “My lady, more and more criminal acts are being recorded. I will not take the Handmaiden of Phaedra across our land without an army.”

  “Stop calling me the Handmaiden of Phaedra.”

  “Just being respectful.”

  “I’d believe that if not for the mocking tone in your voice.” I huffed as I realized how childish I was being in light of the circumstances. “Fine. Twenty men.”

  “A hundred.”

  A hundred men! Talk about conspicuous. I glowered, incredulous.

  Wolfe sighed. “Fine, fifty.”

  I opened my mouth to argue and Jarvis held up a hand. “You will take fifty men with you, Rogan. That’s an order from the Rada.”

  I grimaced but deferred to his wishes. “All right, so how long will it take us?”

  Wolfe shook his head. “Difficult to say. Depending on weather and any other unforeseen circumstances, I would say between three to six weeks. What will I tell my men?”

  Jarvis answered, “I assume you can trust Lieutenant Chaeron with the truth. Otherwise, exactly what Rogan suggested. This is merely a diplomatic trip on behalf of the princezna. If trouble brews and you must tell your men, then you must, but otherwise, keep it among you, Rogan, and Chaeron. May I suggest you leave Second Lieutenant Worth at the palace, just in case you and Rogan don’t make it back in time before trouble arrives here?” Jarvis blanched at the thought of crime in Sabithia, as did we all.

  “Of course.” Wolfe stood. He projected calm and an air of capability that I knew reassured the Rada. They all looked to him as if he would take care of everything. “I’ll see to my men.”

  “I’ll see to Haydyn’s quiet removal from the palace,” Ava said, standing unsteadily. “Lord Matai, will you find Seamstress Rowan and explain everything? She will need to pack a few things. Raj, Valena, Lord Jarvis, we need to get the princezna out of the palace.” She took me entirely by surprise by drawing me into her embrace. I stiffened. No one but Haydyn and Valena ever touched me. “Good luck, Rogan. I know you can do this. We shall see you in a few weeks’ time.”

  I nodded, feeling emotion clog my throat. I cleared it and retreated from her. “I better gather my things.” Before leaving, I pulled Valena into a tight hug and her tears wet my skin. “You take care of her. And yourself.”

  “Be careful, Rogan,” Valena begged. “Please.”

  I promised I would and marched from the room, only now feeling what Haydyn must feel every day.

  The weight of an entire world on my shoulders.

  And now, like her, I would have given anything to ask someone else to help me carry the burden.

  Chapter 6

  Haydyn lay before me on her bed, peaceful and pale, her eyelids not even twitching to assure me she was dreaming somewhere inside herself. My throat was so tight, so sore with constrained emotion, and I gripped the bedpost lest I reach forward to shake her as I wanted to, to shake her awake and scold her for terrifying me. Her chest rose and fell in slow, gentle breaths.

  “You’re going to be all right,” I whispered, bending down to brush a kiss across her forehead. I knew her as well as I knew myself, and I could not bear to live in a world where she did not exist. I choked back a frightened sob. “I promise.”

  I strode out into the courtyard where the Guard were busying themselves with their horses and the supply cart that would travel with us. I tugged on my leather riding gloves, my cloak billowing at my back as wind rushed in from the east. Jarek watched me carefully as I approached him and Midnight. My heart thudded rapidly as I willed my expression to relax into a soft smile.

  “Thank you, Jarek,” I acknowledged, taking Midnight’s reins. As I stroked my mare’s glossy, blue-black coat in greeting, Midnight nickered and bounced her head toward me in response.

  “So.” Jarek eyed me skeptically. “A diplomatic trip on behalf of the princezna?”

  Avoiding his stare, I nodded and continued to stroke Midnight. “Yes. Haydyn’s interested in improving relations with the Alvernians.”

  “It’s such a hastily put-together outing.” Jarek shook his head. “My boys nearly broke their backs getting the horses ready under Wolfe’s command. Usually a trip such as this would take a week of preparation, at least.”

  I hated to lie to an old friend. Instead I opted to trust him with a little of the truth. I looked into his eyes and he tensed at what he saw in mine. “Alvernia is worsening,” I informed him quietly, glancing around to make sure no one else was listening. “I’m going with Captain Stovia to discern the situation for myself and see what can be done. Speak of this to no one, Jarek, but Haydyn may consider a betrothal to Vojvoda Andrei’s son.”

  Jarek’s eyes widened. “Are things really that bad?”

  I nodded.

  “I swear, I’ll tell no one, Rogan. It would cause unnecessary panic.”

  Smiling at his understanding, I took his hand. “Thank you, Jarek. Haydyn will be staying at her cottage at Land’s End while I’m gone. The news has troubled her, and I think it would do her good to take some time away from palace life.”

  Jarek squeezed my hand. “And what of you, Rogan? You’re to bear the burden of traveling and worrying and making the decisions? It hardly seems fair.”

  I was warmed by his concern. “I make no decisions. I merely offer an opinion. Which we all know I do often and well on many subjects.”

  “I will miss you while you’re gone.” He raised my hand and brushed a soft kiss across my knuckles, his eyes twinkling. Such a charmer. I was no fool. I knew as soon as I departed, Jarek would return to flirting with the next prettiest maid who came along. But there was comfort and ease in being with Jarek, in being in Silvera, and to leave him was to leave the city and all the security I had known since I was blown adrift from my family so many years ago. I experienced a sudden panic at having to leave and abruptly pulled my hand from his.

  “I won’t be long, Jarek,” I said, and let him help me into the saddle. “Take care of everyone.”

  He nodded, patting the rump of my horse, and stepped back as Wolfe cantered into the courtyard from the stables.

  Wolfe eyed me solemnly. “Ready?”

  “As I’ll ever be.”

  I was surprised and annoyed as Wolfe sent Lieutenant Chaeron ahead of us to lead the cavalcade. It meant Wolfe could ride beside me while the Guard rode at our backs. Before I could suggest an alternative traveling formation that involved him being gone from my side, Wolfe spoke. “Vojvoda Jarvis has instructed that we will stop in Peza for the night to visit with Grof Krill Rada, and in Caera to visit with Vojvodkyna Winter Rada.”

  Visiting nobility on social calls on a journey to save Haydyn’s life? Were they insane? Remembering rumors of an affair between Wolfe and Vojvodkyna Winter a few seasons ago, I wondered if Jarvis had been the one to come up with those instructions at all. I threw Wolfe a disbelieving look. “That’s ridiculous.”

  Wolfe shook his head. “No, it’s not. We can’t expect to travel through the land with fifty of the Royal Guard and not have word reach the Rada that the Handmaiden of Phaedra is on a diplomatic trip to Alvernia. The Rada would be insulted if we didn’t stop to visit with them. Just be thankful we’re only traveling through Raphizya and Daeronia.”

  “Thankful,” I scoffed. “Thankfu
l? It’s your fault for making me bring fifty bloody men with me. We could have gotten through the provinces undetected otherwise.”

  “Oh, really?” His tone was mocking. “So if you took off through Phaedra with a couple of men, you would retrieve the plant faster, is that right?”

  “Exactly.”

  “And how would we explain your disappearance at the palace?”

  “I’m at the cottage with Haydyn.”

  Wolfe grunted at my quick response. “Fine. What about the fact that even if you were disguised as a lumberjack, people would know you were raised a lady? You’re a target, Rogan. Everything about you is. I doubt even a few men would be able to help you out of the trouble you would inevitably find if I weren’t here to supervise you.”

  I was stunned into silence by his arrogance. He chuckled at having irked me into speechlessness.

  “Perhaps I better swap places with Lieutenant Chaeron?”

  I wanted to push him off his horse. “I think that would be wise.”

  Not too long later, Lieutenant Chaeron cantered at my side, happy to oblige me with pleasant, easy conversation. Our procession through the city was slow as folks dodged out of the way of the large entourage, not to mention some of the streets narrowed greatly here and there, hindering us even more.

  I was surprised when Wolfe led us toward the Flower District, the wealthy neighborhood where Matai and Wolfe resided, where all nobility and wealthy business owners had beautiful townhouses. This route lengthened our journey out of the city. We drew to a complete halt outside a townhouse.

  “What’s going on?” I asked Lieutenant Chaeron.

  He nodded to Wolfe as the captain dismounted from his horse. “Captain Stovia wanted to inform his mother personally of his departure. She worries.” He smiled as if I would be moved by Wolfe’s devotion to familial duty. Instead I had gone cold inside at the thought of Wolfe and his mother and the man missing from their lives. I looked away from the house as Wolfe entered it, fighting to keep my composure as images of Syracen flashed through my mind. Images that were always followed by my parents’ horrified faces as they died, of my little brother lifeless at my feet.

 

‹ Prev