How NOT to Summon a Demon Lord: Volume 4

by Yukiya Murasaki

  “Oh, you were taking a bath.”

  “Yes... Did you already wash yourself?”

  “Nope, not yet.”

  To think she would come see him before washing away the sweat from their long journey...

  “Was there some sort of problem?”

  “I just can’t calm down when I’m by myself is all.”

  Shera got lonely pretty easily, so much so that she even became a Summoner just so she wouldn’t have to travel alone.

  “Hmph... Do as you like.”

  “Yay!”

  He heard the sound of rustling fabric. Wondering what it was, Diablo turned around to look at Shera: She began taking off her clothes.

  “Wh-What are you doing?”

  “Huh? I haven’t washed yet.”

  “I’m using it right now, so...”

  Shera really seemed like a princess when she did things like this. It wasn’t that she was taking things at her own pace, but more like she wasn’t paying attention to what was happening around her.

  “Then let’s use it together! I’ll wash your back for you!”

  —Oh no no NO! Taking a bath with a girl just means breaking out in a cold sweat for me, you know!?

  “I-I can do this much by myself.”

  “No need to hold back!”

  “...Not, it’s not that I’m holding back...”

  Shera already stripped down as he was talking, getting into the tub.

  “Is this a little too cramped?”

  “...Ah, hng...”

  He could feel her coming up behind him. This wasn’t the time for his role play; right now, he was completely alone in a room with a naked girl. He couldn’t get any words to come out of his throat.

  Shera, on the other hand, seemed to be in a good mood as she hummed a little tune.

  “Hm~ Hm-hm-hmm~♪ Oh, where’s the towel?”

  “...There isn’t one.”

  Now that she mentioned it, he forgot to ask someone to bring him one.

  —It would probably be best to call for the maid in a situation like this. I kinda wanted to avoid that...but maybe I’m overthinking it? Is it normal for men and women to bathe together in this world? There’s no way that could be right...

  They didn’t have a “bathing” feature in the game, so he had no idea.

  “Then I’m gonna wash you without using a towel, okay?” Shera said casually.

  “...Huh?”

  “Using someone else’s skin to wash yourself makes your own skin smoother and shinier than if you use a cloth, you know?”

  He never heard of anything like that before...

  To him, Shera’s skin was smoother and more beautiful than silk. Shera scooped some water out of the jug, using her wet hands to stroke Diablo’s back. They were cool and soft, and felt amazing. It was completely different from using a wet towel to wipe himself down.

  “How’s that, Diablo?”

  “Ah, yes... Not bad, I’d say.”

  It was somewhat embarrassing since they were both naked, but this was the first time he had a bath as pleasant as this.

  Shera poured water over herself as well. “Ehehe, I got sand on me, too.”

  “No helping that, considering where we are.”

  “How about I get us both clean all at once?”

  “Mm?”

  Right when he was wondering what she was going to do, he felt two soft lumps press up against his back as she poured water over them.

  Diablo froze up.

  —Th-These things being pressed against my back... Are they...!?

  “Mm...” Shera let out a soft moan. “Your back is so rugged, Diablo.”

  “Ah... Hm...”

  “I’m gonna start rubbing, okay?”

  She began moving her body up and down, the soft sensation moving up and down with her. Diablo’s heart rate jumped up in leaps and bounds, and he could even feel Shera’s pulse. Her body was getting warmer.

  “Hah... Mn... Diablo... You’re not giving off magic energy or anything, are you?”

  “Y-You could tell if I was just by looking.”

  “I’m starting to feel all warm now... I wonder why?”

  “Hwah!?”

  It felt like he would let out a weird voice at any moment. For someone like Diablo, who lacked experience with girls, there was no way he would keep his cool as Shera rubbed her chest against his back making those seductive noises.

  —What would a Demon Lord do now? What would a Demon Lord do after having a girl press her boobs against him and say she’s getting all warm!?

  No Demon Lord he could remember went through an experience like this.

  “I’ll wash the front of you, too, okay?” Shera said softly.

  “Ah...!?”

  —I can get the front by myself, thank you very much. Or, wait, would a Demon Lord pass on an offer like this? What would they do!?

  While he was still trying to figure out what to do, Shera reached around as if she were going to embrace him, stroking his muscular chest with her wet hands.

  “Mnh... Your body is so solid, Diablo. It’s all...muscley.”

  “Th-That’s because I’m level 150.”

  “Oh, gotcha.”

  —I wonder? Is there actually a connection between muscles and levels?

  He no longer knew if she was trying to wash him or do something else entirely. She moved her smooth hands over his chest...

  She touched his neck...

  Her hands went down to his stomach—

  Then even lower.

  “Ah... Wai— Th-That’s...” Diablo could no longer make words. The breath caught in his throat.

  Shera’s hands had reached a very sensitive spot.

  “Hm? This is pretty stiff, too...”

  “...!?”

  “Is it a tail? Do Demons have tails? It’s really hard...so maybe it’s a horn? You have them on your head, too, after all.”

  “Yes. That’s. True.”

  “Um, let’s see... I should probably wash this, too. Here...we...go...”

  He couldn’t speak anymore. The only sounds left were Shera’s breathing and the noise of her wet hands sliding over his skin. As she rubbed, a burning heat kept building up inside of him. An electric current ran through the recesses of his brain.

  The muscles in his back twitched and spasmed, the convulsions passing on to Shera.

  “Oh, did that hurt? Was I doing it too strong?”

  “......No.”

  “Really? Thank goodness!” Shera hugged him close. “Ehehe~ Taking a bath together is pretty fun!”

  “Oh. Yes. Very.”

  The strength left his body. Though they had only been rinsing off together, it felt more like he got dizzy after spending too much time in a hot bath.

  —Wow... It feels reeeeeally good to have someone else wash you by hand.

  It was more of an arid climate here, which meant they both dried off right away. Brushing the sand from his clothes and putting them on, he laid down in bed. Already in her pajamas, Shera jumped in as well, wrapping her arms around him. Remembering what happened earlier, Diablo looked away, on the verge of blushing.

  “It’s been a while since we did anything like this, right, Diablo?”

  “Because we had to camp outside for a while, yeah. Hurry up and go to sleep.”

  “Yeah!”

  He closed his eyes. He fell asleep almost immediately, thanks in part to how much MP he already used.

  If only this peace could last forever...

  Interlude 2

  Right before bedtime, Lumachina’s room—

  Rem was inspecting her equipment on top of her bed. She returned her Summon crystals to her pouch, leaving her knife and iron gauntlets near her pillow.

  “Rem... Thank you.”

  “Where did that come from, Lumachina?”

  “I was able to make it this far thanks to all of you.”

  “...If you want to show gratitude to anyone, then you should say it to Diablo—and make our
payment in gold coins, if possible.”

  “Oh, yes, that’s right.”

  “...Well, we can worry about that after everything has calmed down.”

  Rem felt a presence on the other side of the door. She quickly took up the knife and hand protectors she left near her.

  Batutta had come to visit, carrying an oil lamp with a candle in it. Perhaps because it used some kind of plant-based oil, but there was a faint floral scent coming from it.

  The room was just big enough that you could walk from end to end in about ten steps. There was a large bed for Lumachina, and a smaller bed for Rem to use. It was also furnished with a stylish, round table with two chairs. The window was closed, hidden behind velvet curtains.

  Rem stayed on top of her bed. She summoned her Shadow Snake in secret, having it hide in the shadows of her bed. This took a drain on her MP, but the one thing she had to avoid more than anything else when going up against a high-level Warrior was being defeated before getting a chance to summon anything.

  —Now I can get the jump on him in case anything should happen...

  Even if she couldn’t win against him, she could get Diablo’s attention if she made enough noise; he would come for sure.

  Lumachina sat in one of the chairs.

  “Have a seat, please.” She offered Batutta the chair opposite her.

  “My thanks.” Placing the candle on the table, he slowly sat himself down as well. He bowed his head. “My apologies for disturbing you in the middle of the night.”

  “I do not mind. It was a great help to have you prepare food, clothes, even sleeping arrangements for us. Thank you.”

  “I’m happy I could be of use to you.”

  “I have something I wish to speak with you about.”

  “Yes, I have come here exactly because of that. I would think it better to not have any outsiders present, though...?”

  Batutta fixed his icy gaze upon Rem, but Lumachina held up a hand to stop him.

  “Rem is trustworthy, and the same goes for the others.”

  “They have my trust for bringing you to the former Demon Lord’s Domain, but... Very well, then. Now, what’s happened? Why would someone as important as the High Priest show up in a place like this unannounced, without an envoy of Paladins, and wearing civilian clothes?”

  “Well, you see...” Lumachina had a pensive look on her face. After thinking it over for a moment, she opened her mouth again. “Batutta, please answer what I asked you this afternoon: What is the Paladin Brigade? Who gave approval for it?”

  “My deepest apologies, but that is something I created of my own accord.”

  “You know that is not allowed?”

  “I shall humbly accept any punishment in store for me. However, these are dangerous lands. The priests cannot walk through the town on their own, and even their own families are put in peril.”

  “Is that true?”

  “Because the priests are able to use miracles of God, there are things that appear much more frequently here compared to the east side of the kingdom, like monsters, people who would force them to assist with exploring dungeons, and bandits that would come after their savings.”

  “So I see.”

  “At first, I employed Adventurers in order to protect them against such threats... But there were even those among them who attacked the priests.”

  “How could they...!”

  Adventurers belonged to the Adventurer’s Guild. If they were to commit a crime such as assaulting the person they were supposed to be protecting, not only would they be banished from the Guild, they would have a bounty on their heads with wanted posters put up all over the country.

  Batutta let out a sigh. “There is no shortage of those who come here without considering the danger, putting their want of money in the short-term above their own lives.”

  “I see... So that’s how it was.” Lumachina looked down, disheartened.

  His story made sense to Rem. The former Demon Lord’s Domain was teeming with danger. You had to be a bit abnormal to think of coming here without being forced to.

  “In order to protect the priests and the defenseless townspeople,” Batutta continued, “I hired competent people I could trust. Those are who I came to call the ‘Paladin Brigade.’ The sense of privilege that came about because of it, as well as their violent behavior, was a result of my lack of leadership. Please understand that asking for people with manners on top of all that is difficult in a place like this.”

  “It’s more like they are lacking in morals than manners...”

  Lumachina turned to look at Rem. The reason she didn’t ask anything of a complete outsider like Rem wasn’t to make it seem like she didn’t believe what Batutta was saying. The fact she turned to look at Rem was most likely because she was unable to come to a decision herself.

  Rem gave a small nod.

  —I don’t think he’s lying...

  There was an exceedingly small chance that anyone with proficient combat skills in a region like this also possessed a decent moral compass. It was impossible to compare them with people who lived prosperous lives in safe towns.

  “So that’s how it was.” Lumachina placed a finger on her lip. “I’m sorry for not knowing how the world works.”

  “N-No, not at all... In fact, I should be the one apologizing for employing people using methods outside the policies of the Church... And for the numerous indignities caused by my lack of leadership.”

  “I understand now that you had your own circumstances to deal with.”

  “You have my gratitude for that.”

  —Maybe he’s more trustworthy than I expected...?

  Rem’s impression of Batutta had changed significantly since she first met with him. She originally thought him to be the leader of a group of bandits, so it didn’t exactly leave a stellar impression on her. They came so far just to meet him, so she was definitely let down by it.

  But after hearing his reasons, everything he told them made sense. The reason they requested donations was a combination of their lack of priests and because of the strange governess of this town; even the oppression caused by the Paladin Brigade could be explained due to how dangerous the region was. Using violence against the town’s citizens was by no means a good thing, but it was probably better than having the priests be assaulted by evildoers or monsters.

  It seemed Lumachina trusted Batutta as well.

  “Are you aware,” she brought up a different subject, “of the current state of the Church back in the royal capital?”

  “I wonder? It’s been thirteen years since I was sent here to the former Demon Lord’s Domain. Back then, they were a bit ‘forceful’ when it came to collecting donations, I suppose... That’s the only thing that truly bothered me.”

  “Do you know anything about demanding for undeserved donations?”

  “What’s that all about?”

  “I have heard rumors of those who go around claiming certain houses to be cursed, performing unnecessary exorcisms, and providing charms to ward off evil. Then they demand exorbitant donations in exchange, as well as things like accepting bribes from merchants.”

  “That is outrageous!” Batutta folded his arms.

  “I have also heard talk of a certain group of Paladins murdering those they accuse of being Demon Lord worshipers in the name of ‘purification’...”

  “Impossible! Surely that must be some kind of fabrication!?”

  “It would be nice if that were the case...”

  “At the very least, there were no such deviants among the Paladins when I was still at the capital!”

  Rem almost cut in to the conversation. It was only half a month ago that she barely managed to avoid being killed by Saddler after he accused her.

  The wound on her right arm grew hot.

  But what would happen if she were to claim she was suspected of being a Demon Lord worshiper and almost killed, without any evidence whatsoever? Not to mention Saddler was “missing” ever si
nce the turmoil caused by the Demon Lord’s resurrection. He was killed during Krebskulm’s rampage, and because of Diablo’s ultimate spell, not even his corpse remained. If she were to let anything bad slip out, she could end up drawing unnecessary suspicion to herself. There was also the danger of worsening Lumachina’s position.

  Rem stayed silent and continued to listen to the conversation.

  Lumachina opened her lips. “Not all Paladins are people of deep faith... That is the unfortunate truth. There was someone among them who would do anything for the sake of money.”

  “Are you certain of that?”

  “I... Well, I was almost killed by a Paladin, one who had received orders and payment from Head Cardinal Vishos to carry out the deed.”

  “Wh-Wh-What did you say!? Is that the truth!?” Batutta half-rose to his feet.

  “Do you accuse me of lying...?”

  “N-No, of course not! Oh, how could something like this happen...” Batutta’s face flushed red in anger, a vein bulging out on his forehead. His brawny shoulders and clenched fists were shaking. “Those fools! Has the Cardinal Authority really become so corrupt!?”

  “Sadly enough...”

  “Damn them!” His rage didn’t appear to be an act.

  Rem still didn’t trust Batutta completely. Something about the Paladin Brigade was still bugging her.

  —But at least it doesn’t seem like he’s connected with the Cardinal Authority...

  If he was actually after Lumachina’s life, there would be no reason to keep up this act.

  “In order to escape from the threat of an assassination,” Lumachina continued, “as well as to have you become a force to reform the Church, I have come here to Zircon Tower to ask for your help.”

  “I see.”

  “I know I am being unreasonable in what I ask of you.”

  “No, not at all. I am grateful you trust me so much. Rest assured, be they Paladin or Cardinal Authority, I will not let them lay a hand on you, Lady Lumachina!”