Grace nods. “I’m so sorry, though. Please believe that.”
“I know you are. I can see it in your face. You might be an excellent lawyer, but you’re a terrible liar. At least to me.”
She laughs a little through her tears, wiping under her nose with her hand then wiping the mascara that’s started to run under her eyes.
“I love you.”
“I love you, too, but you’re not in the clear yet. Actions speak louder than words usually, but in this case, your words were really loud. Those words were not just mean, they were really mean. To some people, they’d be unforgivable. I said this already, but you acted like a snotty bitch.”
“I know. I deserve that and I’ll give you whatever time you need to be able to forgive me. I’m so glad you’re okay. I was so scared when I found out about the accident.”
“She’s not just okay. She’s perfect,” Nik says. “And so is our little guy.”
Just as soon as Nik’s hand is on my stomach, our son lays out a big kick. Nik jerks back in shock at the power behind the kick.
“Whoa. That was crazy!”
“He’s been really active today. Must be trying to remind me that he’s healthy in there.”
“Maybe he’s trying to tell his mama thank you for keeping him safe.”
“Maybe,” I agree with my dad.
My dad’s eyes widen. “Wait. Did you say little guy? As in it’s a boy?”
“Crap. I was doing so good to keep it a secret, wasn’t I?” Nik says sheepishly.
I shrug. “No big deal. Yeah, we’re having a boy.” I beam.
Everyone erupts with happiness, especially my dad who’s been surrounded by women most his life. Aside from Samuel and Grant, who aren’t real close with him.
“May I?” Dad asks, pointing to my stomach.
“Of course. You don’t have to ask.”
He gets out of his chair and kneels next to me, placing a hand where Nik’s just was. It takes a minute or two but eventually we feel a flutter followed by a strong kick.
Dad’s eyes stay glued to my stomach as he says, “Hi there, little man. I’m your grandpa. You’re going to have me wrapped around your little finger in no time.”
When I glance at Nik, the look on his face breaks my heart. He doesn’t get this. His parents are gone and won’t get to meet their grandsons. Our son won’t know two sets of grandparents who want to fight over him.
Leaning over, I place a hand on Nik’s cheek and give him a kiss on the lips. He rests his forehead to mine and for a bit, it feels like we’re alone. The two of us sitting on cushiony patio furniture, sharing a moment after a hectic few days.
A throat clearing breaks our moment and my brother-in-law, Grant, pushes my dad out of the way. “All right, old man. It’s my turn. I want to feel what I can expect in a few more months.”
Everyone goes silent and we look to Lucy who has wide eyes staring at the back of her husband’s head as he places a hand on my stomach to feel the baby move.
“What did you just say?” my mom asks him.
“What?” he asks, looking around confused. Something clicks and his words dawn on him. “Oh shit.”
“So, we have news,” Lucy says quietly. “It’s early. Ten weeks along now, but we’re hopeful.”
My family erupts in happiness, sharing our congratulations and excitement for the news.
That’s why Lucy didn’t say anything when Grace was being awful to me. She was thinking of her own baby.
I wink at her, letting her know I understand and she winks back.
“I was going to ask if Lucy and I could host a baby shower for you but now maybe it needs to be a double shower.”
Lucy’s quick to interject. “No. This one will be just for Ashley and Nik. Grant and I will have one later. I don’t want to jinx anything.”
“I understand. Are you okay with that, Nik? Did your sister have anything planned?”
“I’m sure she’d like to be involved. That’s very nice of you to offer.”
“We haven’t registered,” I remind him. “Like, for anything.”
“What do you mean you haven’t registered?” I hear Josie say behind me.
“What are you guys doing here?” Nik asks, taking baby Jay from Dean’s arms. “How’s my little buddy doing? You missed Uncle Nik so much, didn’t you?” he coos and I glance at my sisters who have hearts in their eyes.
Grace mouths, “Holy shit,” to me and I grin knowingly.
“I couldn’t keep her home. Sorry to interrupt, everyone,” Dean says.
Josie pulls me from my chair and hugs me tightly. “You’re okay. You’re okay. Thank God. I was so worried.”
“I’m okay,” I promise. “Aside from the wrist, all is perfect.”
“The pictures of the wreck, oh my gosh, I can’t believe…”
“What pictures?”
“Nothing,” Nik says quickly. “It’s not for today, anyway. Today’s for family.”
“I need to see them.”
He kisses the back of my hand. “Later.”
After I agree to waiting to see whatever pictures are out there of the accident, we introduce everyone and then the girls take me inside and demand I go online to start registering. “Nik will want to have a say in what we’re registering for,” I tell them.
Josie waves me off. “He’ll get over it.”
I don’t tell them that after they leave, I’ll go through the registry with Nik and we can change things up together. For now, I’m just happy because our families are gathered in one place, we’re all relatively happy, the air is cleared, and there’s not one, but two babies on the way.
We have a lot of reasons to count our blessings.
“Oh my gosh! You need this!” Grace shouts and Josie replies with, “What in the ever-loving hell is she going to do with that? It’s a twelve-hundred-dollar stroller! Who’s going to buy that?”
“Umm, I would! Look at it!”
“No,” Josie replies, pushing Grace away from Nik’s laptop I found in his office.
Nik walks into the living room to see Grace and Josie fighting over their place in front of the computer. He raises an eyebrow, shakes his head, and then goes to the kitchen. When he comes back, he’s carrying a six-pack of beer and a bottle of water that he hands to me.
“Feeling okay?” he asks quietly.
I nod. “Better than okay.”
“Good.” He kisses my lips. “By the way, I told the guys that you’re mine and I’m yours so unless you want these women to find out from the guys, you better let them know as well.”
With that, he walks out the back patio door and when I turn back to the ladies, they’re all smiling at me, having heard everything he just said.
Chapter Twenty-One
Nikolas - EIGHT AND A HALF MONTHS
She has no idea how I see her. She thinks that I look at her as the mother to my unborn child. Admittedly, that’s how I did see her in the beginning. But now? Now I see her as everything that I’ve ever wanted in a woman.
My best friend.
The love of my life.
The mother to my son.
Ashley has had me turned inside out over her since the morning I woke up with her in my bed, our memories of the night before a little fuzzy.
I want her everything.
How can she not see it? How does she not realize that I’m completely and totally wrecked for her?
Together, we’re perfect. My mind is clearer, my smile is permanent, my days brighter.
Apart, though, I’m a mess.
I’m hanging on by a thread here, wanting her more and more each day. Falling in love with her deeper by the minute. But I’m terrified. I don’t know if she’s ready for the same. I’m not blind. I know how she sees me. She stares when she doesn’t think I can see her. Ashley doesn’t realize that she’s all I see. I’m attuned to her every move.
However, thankfully, I also know that her attraction to me goes deeper than the surface. The questi
on is, is she ready to claim me as hers? Is she ready for me to claim her as mine? I know I am. Beyond ready. I just don’t know where her head is at and the thought of losing her in my life isn’t something I’m willing to allow to enter my mind.
I’ll chase her forever if I have to, because there’s no one else for me. She’s it. I’ve been a goner for so long now, I don’t remember a time before her.
That thought that I didn’t want to get married again because of how my first one turned out and the second time I proposed went to shit? Gone. Replaced with a vision of her walking toward me, ready to commit to a life together. Forever.
Leaning a shoulder against the door frame, I watch her fold tiny onesies and other baby clothes that I didn’t know anything about until she came into my world. The baby shower her sisters hosted for her was insane. I’ve never seen so many gifts from people I’d never met. Thankful? Very much so. Concerned that we won’t be able to find a place to put it all? Very much so.
Grace and I haven’t talked much since she and Samuel split up. I’m glad that she and Ashley are working through it, but I can’t forgive and forget so easily. Grace said some pretty horrible things about not only me, but Ashley as well.
Ashley’s sitting cross-legged, her back straight, belly round with my son growing inside her, humming a song that I can’t decipher. Her long dark hair hangs in loose waves over her shoulders and down her back. The wrap around her wrist is already gone, her body mostly healed from the accident that could have taken her away from me. She’s not wearing any makeup on her face, having already washed it away from her day at work and honestly, she’s never been more beautiful to me.
All day long I think of her. There have been several occasions where I’m in my office, working on a bid for a customer, and I zone out completely. Rebecca, my assistant, will have to yell to get my attention. She smiles knowingly and I shrug. I don’t even apologize anymore. Why would I?
She must feel me watching her. The corners of her mouth tip up and her eyes flutter before connecting with mine. We’re a match, she and I. Dark hair. Dark eyes. Olive skin.
“Creepy,” she mutters. Happy and amused.
“Beautiful,” I counter.
She’s holding a dark blue sleeper, its edges trimmed in orange. It’s one I picked up. She didn’t fight me when I said our kid would be a Chicago Bears fan. She said that was fine, as long as I allowed him to come to his own conclusions later in life. The sleeper hangs from her fingers as she stares at me, wondering. Something flares in her eyes. Is it heat? Maybe it’s the same feeling I’ve been holding onto for the past months… hope. Ashley for more together. Her. Me.
“I’m a mess.”
I shake my head. “My beautiful mess.”
“Nik,” she whispers, her chin trembling. “You can’t say stuff like that.”
“Why not?” I push off the door and walk to her, crouching down so I’m eye level. I lift my right hand, my thumb making a trail over her cheek before sliding my fingers into her hair. Those intensely dark eyes of hers shutter closed, long lashes fanning out. Ashley sucks in a deep breath and shakes her head slightly.
She meets my stare again and she admits, “It makes me think things.”
“I’ve been thinking things since the first night we met,” I admit to her in a low voice. “You’ve just been trying to hide from it.”
“Nik.”
“Ashley.”
“I can’t do this.”
“Give me one good reason, Sally.” She gives me a small smile at the nickname and her hand finds her belly. I shake my head. “He’s on the top of the pro list, babe, not con.”
She moves, shifting to her hands and knees. I stand up and bend over, helping her do the same. “Thanks,” she breathes. “And to answer your question. No.”
“I didn’t ask for an answer. I asked for a reason.” I wink and she glares.
“You don’t have to be such a smarty pants, Harry.”
“Give me a reason,” I demand.
“I’m hungry. Are you?”
I follow her to the kitchen and she opens the fridge, pulling out a container of leftover rotisserie chicken, shredded cheese, and barbeque sauce, placing it all on the counter. I get out the tortillas because I know she’s about to make a barbeque chicken wrap.
The two of us work together, making our wraps. We put them on plates, along with some dill pickle spears. A couple glasses of chocolate milk are poured and we sit at the island to eat.
I let her have this. Because I know that it’s a tactic to stall the conversation she’s too nervous to have. I finish my plate of food before she does, which is pretty typical for us. I’m a fast eater. She savors. Neither of us say anything while we eat and I don’t say anything when I’m finished but she’s still eating. Slower than usual, I might add, but, again, I let her have this. She needs it.
Her emotions are all over the place but more than that, she doesn’t fully trust herself. She doesn’t fully trust this love that we share. Maybe because neither of us expected this, we weren’t looking for a relationship the night we met. We were both broken hearted and needed to forget for a few hours.
But she swept me away. Her smile makes my day better.
Being with Ashley is unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. I had all but written off love when I walked into the bar that night. I had decided that I was done. I’d thrown my hat in the ring a couple of times and it didn’t work out but turns out, I hadn’t really given much effort. I thought I did, but this love that I have for Ashley? It makes me want to go all in. Throw not just my hat in, but everything I have.
She brought me back to life. Back from somewhere I didn’t even know I had escaped into. Ashley tells me that she was a liar, a pretender, a fake, in all her past relationships. Turns out, I was, too. Until I met her, I didn’t know what it was like to be completely myself with someone and not be afraid that they’d run for the hills.
Until Ashley, I didn’t realize how different I was around others.
She’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me, but she has to see it herself, too. I can’t be all in when she isn’t jumping into the pond with me. I can’t do that again. I won’t.
When her plate is empty, I take both hers and mine to the dishwasher and clean up the mess we made, wiping the counters and putting away the food in the fridge. When I’ve finished, I turn to face her, leaning on the island countertop with my hands spread wide and facing her.
I have a few options here. I act boldly. Or I wuss out and let her keep me on the outskirts.
Actually, I only have one option.
“I love you,” I say, looking into her eyes, glistening with unshed tears. “I love you. Not because you’re carrying my baby but because since the first night I held you, since the first night we played darts and ate crappy food and fell into each other’s arms, I’ve been yours. I fell hard but it wasn’t fast. It was a slow fall and I loved every second of it. But now I want you with me. I’ve been in love with you for months but didn’t have the guts to tell you.”
“Why?”
“You scare the shit out of me, Ashley. I can’t lose you. We haven’t had good luck in the past with relationships. We’ve been burned, we’ve struggled to find our footing and be our real selves for fear that we wouldn’t be loved. But it’s not that way with each other. We can be our true selves and know that we’re accepted.”
“How do you know I’m not pretending like I have in the past?”
“Because I know you. You haven’t faked anything since we first met,” I tell her, smiling. “Do you love me? Because I love you. A forever kind of love but it’s time you know. You deserve to know.”
“I’m scared.”
I nod, swallowing hard. “Me, too.”
“I won’t survive this loss.”
“There’s nothing to survive because there’s nothing for us to risk losing. I’m not going anywhere. I love you like Johnny loved June. Like Rip loves Beth.” I smirk, bringing up her
favorite show, Yellowstone. She can’t deny that she gets excited for Cole Hauser in any role he plays, but in Yellowstone? She’s mush. A puddle of hotness for him.
“That’s not playing fair,” she whispers. “You can’t bring up Rip.”
I grin. “All’s fair in love and war, babe. Do you love me?”
She whimpers. “It’s not that simple.”
“It is that simple. Do you love me?”
“We’re having a baby together.”
“We are. Thank the good Lord because I can’t wait to see you holding our baby boy. To be by your side, keeping my eyes on you.” I wink.
“Now you’re bringing up Chase Rice? You’re evil.”
The corner of my mouth tips up. She once told me that one of her ex boyfriends got pissed if she ever mentioned a celebrity crush. Because all her past boyfriends have been giant dicks, apparently. Insecure assholes, basically. “Do you love me?”
She closes her eyes, a tear falling and making a trail down her right cheek. “I can’t do this.”
“Yes, you can. Do you love me?” I count to ten before her eyes open. I round the island and hold her face in my hands. “Do. You. Love. Me?”
“Yes,” she whispers. “I can’t help it. I’ve tried, but I’m a sucker for you.”
“Thank fuck.”
I crush my mouth to hers and lift her off the stool, wrapping my arms around her. Our son growing in her stomach between us, keeping us apart but I wouldn’t have it any other way.
“I love you, Nik,” she proclaims when I release her mouth for a beat in order to trail my lips down her neck.
“Best words ever,” I reply.
“I do, you know. I love you. But if Rip or Chase comes knocking,” she jokes and then squeals when I attack her, tipping her back a little while keeping my hands on her back to hold her up.
“You little tease.”
“But you love me.”
“Yup. I do. Let me show you?”
“You don’t have to ask.”
Together: A Surprise Pregnancy Romance Page 23