by Carol Rivers
'I'll call for her at nine tomorrow.'
Mary laughed scornfully. 'You'll be lucky. I don't draw breath till noon.'
'Teresa can open the door and let herself out.' Bella smiled down at the child. 'Would you like to come to the market with Michael and me?'
The little girl looked up at her mother. 'Can I, Mum?'
Mary shrugged and walked back into the house.
'See you in the morning then, Teresa.'
The child nodded and watched them go.
Michael took hold of Bella's hand as they walked back to Piper Street. 'Can we have pie and mash at the market?' he asked.
'Yes, and lemonade too.'
'With Auntie Dolly and Anne and Irene?'
'Yes, of course.'
As they walked home Bella realised she had almost forgotten the quarrel with Micky and the fact that he hadn't come back last night.
Michael and Teresa were playing around the stalls. It was Saturday and already very busy. Bella had arrived at market before Dolly in order to shop at the clothes stall. She had found a nice assortment for Teresa and the stallholder had let them change by the warmth of an open brazier. The lady helped Bella by holding a sheet around them so they had some privacy.
Bella would have liked to wash Teresa first, but she had no way of doing so. It was a cold December day, not wet as it had been all month, but very seasonal and excitement was in the air. Christmas was coming and all the stalls were covered in holly and some in sparkling decorations. When Teresa was dressed, Michael peeped round the sheet.
'Are you finished yet?'
'Don't look yet,' Teresa giggled.
'All you need is a pair of shoes,' Bella remarked as she gathered Teresa's old clothes and placed them in her bag. She would give them a good wash when she got home. There were always dozens of second-hand shoes at the market. Lots of them were deformed where people had corns or bunions. Some didn't have proper soles, just lots of Blakey's. But there was an occasional bargain and as Bella looked at Teresa, she was pleased with what she had found. 'You look very pretty in your new coat.'
'I like blue.'
'It will be just right for school in the cold weather.'
'And it's the right size. That feels funny.'
Bella knew what she meant. As a child, she had lived in the same old clothes that were never washed or mended. It was only when she started work at Dixons that she had been able to take a pride in her appearance.
'Go with Michael and play, but don't go far. Some new friends will be arriving soon for you to meet.'
'Who are they?' Teresa asked doubtfully.
'Two nice little girls the same age as you.'
The lady put away the sheet and smiled as the two children ran off. 'You can have that little lot for two bob, dear.'
'Thanks. I'll need some more as well. A navy blue gym slip and raincoat in the same size and a change of underwear.'
'Leave it to me, do your shopping and I'll sort them out.'
Bella was crossing to the pie and mash stall when she saw Dolly. The two girls looked immaculately dressed in their identical pink coats. Michael and Teresa came running up. The four children gazed at one another. In a matter of seconds Michael was introducing his new friend to Dolly's girls.
'Well I'm blowed,' Dolly gasped, her hazel eyes wide under her big brown hat with a velvet bow. 'So Teresa is your half-sister?'
Bella had poured out her story as they sat on upturned boxes watching the children play. 'Yes, she is.'
'She has your big brown eyes and same colour hair, just a shade more coppery. And she could be Michael's sister too, except he has blue eyes.'
'Dolly, I felt terrible when she wet her drawers. Mum didn't even notice.'
'Oh Bella, the poor little soul.'
'I asked the woman on the stall to throw away her underwear. It was filthy.'
'She looks lovely now.'
'I wanted to wash her. I don't suppose she's had one in weeks. That's why the other kids were laughing. I got a knot in my stomach. It brought back everything.'
'What does Micky say about it?'
Bella looked guilty. 'I haven't had time to tell him. Well, that's not exactly the truth. He just hasn't been home to tell.'
'What's he doing then?' Dolly looked anxious.
'He's bought a club.'
'A what?'
'A hostess club in Soho called the Fortune.'
'But what about the garage?'
'Milo is running it with Terry.'
'What does Terry do?'
'He washes and cleans the cars.'
'You're in a difficult position, Bella.'
'I know. Micky and me had an awful row over the club. Since then we haven't really talked. He says he has to work late at the club and what makes it worse – ' Tears filled Bella's eyes and she brushed them quickly away. 'There's this woman he introduced me to, a girl called Suzie. She's a singer and very glamorous. I know she's sweet on Micky.'
'How do you know that?' Dolly stopped drinking her tea.
'It was the way she looked at him.'
'You can't know for sure, Bella,' Dolly said gently. 'You might just be jealous.'
Bella nodded fiercely. 'I am. I'm extremely jealous. So jealous I could cheerfully strangle her.'
'Don't say that.'
'Are you ever jealous of Percy?'
'He's never given me reason to be.'
Bella thought how she had once looked down her nose at the Taylor family. They had seemed unexciting and boring, and even Ray had annoyed her, when he had tried it on, which was, she now admitted, only natural. He wasn't that bad really, but she hadn't been able to see his good points. The fact that he wanted a wife, a home and a family, which like Dolly, made them sensible and normal people. And as she knew now from Dolly, Ray idolized his family.
Micky was at the other end of the scale. She had always known he hadn't wanted to be tied down. She always feared he had only married her because she had fallen pregnant. Is this what happened in a marriage when one person loved more than the other?
Dolly was staring at her. 'I thought Micky was happy selling cars.'
'So did I.'
'He'll soon lose interest in the club.'
'I hope you're right.'
Dolly squeezed her arm. 'Look on the bright side. You haven't got to worry about money, at least, not like you used to. Michael is a happy little boy and loved by his dad and his uncles. You can spend time with him and not have to go out to work. Micky's only bought a business you don't approve of and that's not the end of the world. Really, there is a lot to be grateful for.'
Bella nodded slowly. 'I am grateful, but I love him and want more of a family life. I knew Micky was a stubborn when I married him but in my heart I always thought I could change him.'
'But what would you want to change him for if you loved him?' Dolly asked innocently.
It was a good question and Bella had no ready answer. In fact it was a perfect piece of logic that could only come from someone like Dolly. From a woman who loved her husband unconditionally and was loved back the same way.
Chapter 20
'Oh, it was a lovely speech,' Sean said wistfully as he stood at the kitchen sink. He was peeling potatoes, a pinafore tied round his waist. Next to him, Ashley stirred custard in a mixing bowl. It was Christmas Day and they were discussing the Queen's speech, at the same time drinking frothy ginger beer from pint glasses.
'When she said about the rain and wind beating on the windows and the peacefulness inside our homes, it was as if she was here too,' Bella agreed as she polished the cutlery with a cloth.
'I'm not a lover of the old castor oils,' Ashley commented, transferring the bowl to the table where he poured the custard into glass dishes. 'But I must admit she was quite poetic when she said that bit about the light streaming from a Nazareth cottage. Though I don't suppose she's got a clue what the interior of a cottage looks like. Not living in a palace all her life.'
'Well she can't be tha
t out of touch, can she? She baths in a bath, same as us. Cleans her mincers like us.' Sean turned to wipe his wet hands on the towel and grinned. 'Sits on the kharzi like us.'
'Probably got a gold-plated seat though,' Ashley added dryly.
Sean hooted. 'What difference would that make? She's not got a gold bum, has she?'
Bella laughed as she listened, gathering together the knives, forks and spoons and taking them into the front room. Dinner was being eaten at the big polished table opened to its fullest extent. As usual, Sean and Ashley had cooked lunch for all the family. For years they had eaten together on Christmas Eve, but since Micky had owned the garage, the meal had been transferred to the twenty-fifth. Micky worked late on Christmas Eve but always took Christmas Day off.
Bella heard the front door go and rushed into the hall.
'Hello, beautiful.' Micky stood there, with young Michael sitting astride his shoulders. They had been getting ready downstairs in the airey and Bella was overjoyed that Micky was taking so much interest in his son. Last night Micky had played Father Christmas and delivered a train set into Michael's room wrapped in a large pillowcase. Then he had drawn her close as they watched their sleeping child, imagining the excitement when he woke.
It had been a wonderful moment. Later, they had made love and this too had been so special. He had held her in his arms and told her he loved her. She hoped their quarrelling was over. And after her talk with Dolly, she had felt more grateful than ever for her life now.
Micky lowered young Michael to the ground and he ran into her arms. She hugged him, breathing in his smell, Sunlight and water and some of Micky's shaving soap. He was dressed like his father in a clean white shirt and tie.
'Is dinner ready yet?' Michael asked eagerly.
'Nearly.'
'Where's Uncle Sean?'
'In the kitchen. And Uncle Terry's upstairs. You can go up and tell him dinner's nearly ready if you like.'
Michael ran off eagerly and Micky drew her into his arms. 'You look good enough to eat,' he whispered, bending down and kissing her. She slipped her arms around his neck and his lips softly grazed her cheek. 'You happy, Bells?'
'I'm happy.'
'I'm taking you out tomorrow. You and the nipper. Terry too if you want. We're going for a spin in the country.'
'Are you home, then?'
'It's Christmas. No one works at Christmas.'
'I wouldn't have been surprised if you did.'
'Come on now, girl. Let's bury the hatchet.'
'It's just that we love you Micky and want more time with you. Is that so unreasonable?'
He held her away from him. 'I'm going to make a New Year resolution. To keep that lovely smile on your face. I'll put it in writing if you like. Now, come here and shut up while I kiss you.'
They were still kissing when a key slotted into the lock of the front door just as young Michael ran down the stairs with Terry following.
'Caught in the act,' Micky grinned as Ronnie and Joyce entered the hall, their arms full of presents. Bella thought that if Ronnie had been upset over the Fortune he certainly wasn't showing it. There were kisses and hugs all round as they crowded into the front room.
Young Michael jumped up and down excitedly as he was given permission to open his first present. He took the biggest one from under the Christmas tree and began to untie it.
Sean and Ashley rushed in from the kitchen, their faces red with the brandy they had sampled on the quiet. Bella felt a deep sense of well being as she gazed around her. Everyone she loved was here and waiting for a real family Christmas to begin.
Micky was as good as his word. The next day he took them for a drive away from the city and out towards Osterley Park. Wrapped up in their warm winter coats, they stopped for a picnic and Micky and Michael played football. They all drove home flushed with fresh air from their day out. And before bedtime Micky read a long story from one of Michael's favourite books.
The next morning Micky didn't go to work again. Nor the next. He made breakfast for everyone and even washed and shaved with his son at his side. Bella didn't ask who was looking after the club. She felt so happy she didn't want to break the spell. Her one concern was for Teresa. Was she being washed, fed and dressed in the clothes they had bought from the market? Did they have enough food? Had Mary bought her daughter a Christmas present with the money Bella had left?
Micky was in such a good mood that she was almost tempted to tell him the story. She even thought that young Michael might mention his new school friend. But their days were so busy that Michael seemed to have forgotten all about her.
On the evening before New Year's Eve, whilst Gina and Lenny looked after Michael, Micky drove them out for the evening. They strolled hand in hand along the Embankment and took in the sights. The bridges rose tall over the river and a bright, illuminated Big Ben shone against the navy blue sky. They ate at a cockle stall, sprinkling on plenty of salt and vinegar. When they drove home, Bella laid her head on Micky's shoulder.
Christmas had been wonderful. The time they had shared together had made her feel Micky really loved them. She was going to make a New Year's resolution too. If she could patiently accept Micky's absences he would be more inclined to be with them. She knew her criticisms annoyed him and from now on she would try to be a more understanding wife.
Snow fell in January, and when Michael returned to school the children were building snowmen or playing snowballs in the playground.
'Teresa's not here, Mum,' Michael wailed.
Bella looked too but there was no small figure waiting for them.
'Perhaps she's late because of the snow.' The bell rang and all the children went in. Bella kissed Michael and told him to remember to put his coat on at playtime.
Alone, Bella pushed her gloved hands deep in her pockets. For ten minutes she walked up and down the street. Tiny snowflakes landed in her hair and eyelashes, softly covering the path in front of her. Soon she began to grow cold and reluctantly turned for home.
Where was Teresa? What had happened over the holidays? Perhaps she would be at school tomorrow. If she wasn't, then she would go round to Collier Street and see for herself.
By Friday Teresa was still absent. Michael was unhappy that his friend hasn't turned up to school.
'Let's call round, shall we?' Bella suggested.
'Yes, but I don't like her house.'
'There's no other way to find out.'
Hand in hand Bella and Michael walked to Collier Street. The prefabs looked wet and drab and the blocked drains had formed big puddles of dirty water and ice.
'They're not in,' Michael said disappointedly after Bella had knocked several times.
'Let's go round the back.'
Warily they trod over the fallen fence and piles of rubbish half covered in snow. The prefab was covered in green mould. It climbed up the walls like ivy and there were icicles hanging from the broken gutters.
Bella tried to look through one window but she couldn't see anything but darkness. The other window though, was stuck open.
'Teresa?' She could see a figure lying on the floor. 'Is that you?'
'I got a cough.'
'Where's your mum?'
'Don't know.' Teresa began to cough.
'Can you let me in?' She watched Teresa stand up very slowly.
'I don't like it here,' Michael said as they made their way round to the front of the prefab.
Bella drew him close as they waited. When the door opened Bella was shocked. Teresa stood shivering in an old, soiled nightdress and she looked very thin. Her hair was tangled, full of knots and fell over her gaunt white face.
There was no light and no warmth as Bella helped her back to the dark room. The mattress she was lying on was full of holes and exposed springs and as Bella pulled up the filthy cover, a beetle dropped from it and scuttled into the corner.
Bella was angry as well as shocked. What kind of mother would allow her child to suffer like this? Unfortunately she knew
the answer.
'When will mummy be home?' she asked Teresa gently.
'Dunno.'
Michael began crying and Bella hugged him. What was she going to do? A doctor was needed immediately. But she would have to leave Teresa alone again to find one.
Ronnie was coming out of the house when they arrived, both of them breathless and puffing. Full of tears, Michael ran into his open arms.
'What's up, young Michael?' He hugged him tightly.
'Teresa's not well.'
'Who is Teresa?'
'My best friend at school.'
'What's wrong with her?' Ronnie asked in concern.
'She's all on her own.'
'Where's her mum?'
'I don't know. She goes off somewhere. Uncle Ronnie, I reckon we should send for the doctor.'
'That bad, is it?' Ronnie said calmly. 'Well, stop worrying. We'll sort it out.'
Bella took her son in her arms. She knew what he had seen today had upset him just as much as it had upset her. 'Listen, I'm going with Uncle Ronnie and I want you to stay here with Uncle Sean.'
'Can't I come?'
'Not today.'
'Will the doctor make Teresa better?'
Bella kissed his forehead. 'Yes, I'm sure he will.'
Later, when Bella was sitting in Ronnie's car, she folded her hands together and sighed. 'You'd better be ready for a shock, Ronnie. This isn't just any little girl, she is a relative, close family. But Michael is too young to understand that at the moment.'
Ronnie took his eyes briefly from the road. 'A relative?'
'She's my half-sister,' Bella said quietly. 'Teresa is Mum's little girl.'
He looked astounded. 'Mary Doyle is her mother?'
'I know it's hard to believe, but yes. They don't live in Bow Street now. A year ago the council demolished the cottage and moved her to Collier Street. Jack Router died from the drink and left her pregnant. Mary's only just sent Teresa to school and she was put into Michael's class. That's how it all happened.'
After a pause Ronnie sighed. 'What has Micky to say about all this?'
'I haven't told him yet.'