“It’s the best high I’ve ever felt, the most intense. Now I get why people want to live together and take care of each other and get married and have kids. It’s this feeling.”
Shocked, I propped my head in my hand and looked at him. “You even get having kids?”
“Yes.” He looked as amazed as I felt. “I look at you, and I love you so much I want to do something about it, but nothing is big enough, nothing is good enough, nothing is extreme enough.”
I smiled wryly. “Having a baby is pretty extreme.”
“Yes. It is.” His hand moved between us, and he brushed the back of his fingers against my stomach, making me shiver. “And I know we didn’t plan on it. But I want this, Natalie. I didn’t even know how much until right now. I want to have this baby with you. I want us to have something with each other that we don’t have with anyone else. I want us to be a family. In fact, if you weren’t pregnant right now, I’d keep you right here in this room and fuck you until you were. That’s how bad I want this baby.”
I burst out laughing and rolled onto my back. “You’re insane. This whole thing is insane. Are we really doing this?”
“We are.” He moved down and kissed my stomach. “Hi in there. I hope I didn’t wake you up with all that pounding.”
I played with his hair. “He’ll get used to it.”
He looked up at me and blinked. “You think it’s a boy?”
“No idea, babe. Sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry.” He laid his cheek on my belly. “I’ll be happy either way, boy or girl. Hey, I think I feel it moving.”
I laughed. “You don’t. Not yet. A few more months on that.”
He grinned, his eyes wide like he couldn’t believe it. “This is so fucking amazing, Natalie.”
“You’re going to be a great dad, Miles.” And he was, I could feel it. That playful, wide-eyed side of him that found so much joy in the world, found something to be happy about every day, found pleasure in little things like cinnamon buns and big things like love and family—that’s what would make him a good father. My throat got tight as I realized how lucky I was.
“Thanks.” Kissing my stomach once more, he sat up and reached for his glasses. “So should we go tell your dad that I knocked you up?”
“Um, no. We will not be saying it like that.”
“Why not? I’m planning to make an honest woman out of you.”
I picked up a pillow and clubbed him with it.
“Hey.” He took the pillow from me. “At least now I can admit it was me who threw that baseball and cracked your mom’s kitchen window that time. That will no longer be the worst thing I’ve ever done in their eyes.”
I sat up. “You know, you don’t have to come with me if it’s too awkward. I can tell them myself.”
He jumped off the bed and started pulling on his pants. “No. You’re not doing this alone. And I know you don’t want to hear me say this is the right thing to do, but fuck you, it is, and I’m going.”
Smiling, I watched him pull his shirt over his head. “OK, OK. You can come. We’ll do it together.”
Twenty minutes later, we walked across the lawn toward my parents’ house hand in hand. My stomach was a little jumpy, but all in all I wasn’t as nervous as I thought I’d be. My parents would be surprised, but they loved Miles, and I knew they’d be happy for us and thrilled to have their first grandchild on the way.
“Hey.” I squeezed his hand. “You know what I just realized? I gave you a first!”
“You sure did. Many of them. And you know what I just realized?” He tugged me in front of him, wrapped his arms around me from behind, and whispered in my ear. “You’ll give me all my lasts too.”
Epilogue
Natalie
“They’re ready for you, Skylar.”
At the sound of Mia’s voice, we turned to see her standing in the doorway, a smile on her face. Jillian and I were upstairs at the winery in what Mia called The Bride’s Room, which had a couple sofas and chairs, several full-length mirrors, and plenty of natural light streaming through the windows.
“OK.” Skylar took a deep breath and looked in the mirror one last time. “This is it. Am I good?”
“You’re absolutely stunning.” My voice hitched as I said it, and for the millionth time, I wondered when this pregnancy would stop making me so emotional. I cried at everything these days! Although seeing our middle sister in her wedding gown and veil, holding her bouquet, in the moments before she married the love of her life, even had Jillian near tears.
“You are,” she echoed, sniffing. “No one will be able to take their eyes off you.”
“The only eyes I care about are Sebastian’s.” Skylar’s smile was bright and her eyes clear as she picked up the bottom of her frothy white dress with one hand. “And I can’t wait to see them, so let’s do this thing.”
Sebastian’s two young nieces were serving as flower girls, and they were already giggling at the top of the steps, waiting to be told they could go down. When Mia gave them the nod, they took off, bounding down the stairs in a fit of excited laughter. “Here, let me take your flowers so you can hold your dress up as we go down,” she said to Skylar.
Skylar handed them over and used both hands to ensure she didn’t step on the bottom layers of tulle. She’d chosen a strapless tiered lace dress with a mermaid shape that showed off her hourglass figure, and wore her hair in a loosely braided mass of curls pinned to one side. Her veil floated behind her, and Jillian handed me her flowers so she could pick up the lace-edged tulle and make sure it didn’t catch on anything.
I was last coming down the stairs, carefully keeping my eyes on my feet. The last few weeks, I’d been a little dizzy, but other than that and the out-of-control emotions, pregnancy was treating me pretty well. I was about fourteen weeks along now and just barely starting to pop. My dress, also floor-length tiered lace in a dusty lavender, had a wide eggplant-colored sash that probably emphasized the fact that I no longer had a waist, but at least I could breathe in it. It looked much better on Jillian, whose slender frame was perfect for its slightly vintage look.
As we neared the bottom of the steps, I saw our father waiting and heard music from the string quartet playing outside. My heart beat quicker.
“Hey, Dad.” Skylar held up a hand and he high-fived her. “Ready to do this?”
“I sure am.” He smiled at Jillian and me, offering me a hand as I neared the bottom step. “You feeling OK?”
“Yes. Promise.”
As I’d expected, my parents had been shocked but not unhappy about my pregnancy and engagement, and once they’d had a few days to let it sink in and see Miles and me together, they’d both taken me aside and said how happy they were for me. Although we were living in my house for now, they were hoping we’d move into the Haas vacation home so they could see the baby whenever they wanted. Neither of them seemed bothered by the fact that we weren’t planning to be married before the baby was born, and my mother was already talking about a shower. Miles and I often remarked how lucky I was to have the parents I did. His parents seemed happy for us, if a bit unsettled by the news that Miles was getting married and making them into grandparents, but they still hadn’t come to visit.
“This way, please.” Mia led us over to some large glass doors leading to the terrace and we peeked out over the flower girls’ heads. Rows of chairs had been set up and an aisle created on the stone patio, with everyone facing away from the building. The terrace was strewn with soft pink rose petals, and strands of lights were strung above it, looping from the building to the surrounding trees.
“OK,” Mia said smoothly, handing Skylar her bouquet. “They’ve seated all the parents and grandparents. Skylar and the girls will stay here with me. Natalie and Jillian, you go out, and when you see Sebastian and his brothers line up at the front, you walk slowly toward them and take your places opposite. Got it?”
We nodded, grateful for her cool head and professional experience. Th
e three of us would have been a mess back here alone. For a moment, I wondered about my own wedding—would it go something like this? Miles and I still hadn’t decided what we wanted, but we knew we’d wait until after the baby was born, so we had time to think.
I turned to Skylar and took her hand for a second. I wanted to say something, tell her how beautiful she was, how happy I was for her, how much I loved her, but my stupid throat closed up again and tears welled. She understood, and it made her smile. “I know,” she said, squeezing my hand. “I love you too.”
Jillian fared better. “You’re breathtaking, Skylar. We’re so happy for you, and we love Sebastian like a brother. You’re perfect for each other.” Pressing her cheek to Skylar’s, she smiled. “OK, Nixon sisters. Let’s do it.”
I followed her out into the warm September afternoon, managing to hold my tears at bay. Standing at the back, we watched as the three Pryce brothers came from around the building and walked together to the front of the terrace, where the officiant waited. Jillian reached behind her back, and I grabbed her hand when we saw how sweetly nervous Sebastian looked. He was clean shaven, hair neat, and his tall, muscular frame filled out his black suit like nobody’s business. He had a face that rivaled Skylar’s in its classic beauty, and for a moment I imagined the gorgeous children they’d have.
Once the men were in place, Jillian took a breath and started up the aisle, heads turning to watch her. When she was nearly to the front, I started out, my legs a little shaky, my fingers gripping my hydrangea bouquet tightly. Halfway up the aisle I saw Miles, and surprisingly enough, his handsome smile and adoring expression didn’t make me tear up. Victory! Maybe I could get through the ceremony without weeping!
As I passed him, he mouthed the word beautiful at me, and my stomach fluttered. I passed my mother, seated at the front, and she smiled before bringing a clump of tissues to her nose. Glancing at Sebastian, I flashed him a big grin and he gave me a small one back. I took my place next to Jillian, and we held hands as we watched the flower girls come up the aisle, all ribbons and giggles and gap-toothed smiles.
Finally, the music changed and our dad and Skylar appeared at the base of the aisle. The guests rose, and a collective gasp sounded as everyone took in how beautiful the bride was. They started up the aisle, and I had to laugh to myself because it looked like Skylar was moving even faster than our Dad, like she was so eager to get married, she was hurrying him. Jillian squeezed my hand as he kissed her cheek, and we both sighed at the way Sebastian looked at Skylar as he took her hand, as if she might not be real.
The ceremony began, and as I listened, I looked out at the love of my life, at my family, at this perfect, sunlit day that felt like such a gift. Putting a hand over my stomach, I caught Miles’s eye and smiled at the pure joy in my heart. It was almost too good to be true.
Almost.
The End
Extended Epilogue
Miles
“You ready, babe?” I snuck up behind Natalie, who was frowning at her reflection in the full-length mirror on the back of the bedroom door, and kissed her shoulder. “We should probably go. Dinner’s at seven.”
“I guess so.”
I wrapped my arms around her waist—or at least where her waist used to be—and placed my palms flat on her hard, round belly. “How’s he treating you?”
“He’s being difficult today.” She sighed, settling against me as if exhaustion was melting her bones. “He can’t get comfortable, and neither can I.”
I kissed her shoulder again, then the side of her neck. “Well, you look perfect.” I breathed in the scent of her skin, which always smelled delicious.
“I don’t look perfect. I look like a hippopotamus.” She caught my eye in the mirror and gave me an angry glare. “And don’t try to argue with me.”
“OK fine. You look like a hippopotamus.” I sniffed her neck again. “But you smell divine, so I’m going to go out with you tonight.”
“Very funny.” She closed her eyes and inhaled sharply just as I felt her stomach stretch and roll beneath my hands. “Jesus. Can you please tell your son to stop the assault on my bladder, or whatever organ it is that he’s abusing? I can’t take it.”
Even though I loved feeling the little life we created moving inside her, I knew how difficult the last few weeks of pregnancy had been for Nat. Time after time I told her how much I wished there was something I could do to relieve her from the burden, and I meant it, but secretly I was like fucking hell, I’m glad men don’t have babies. That shit looks hard! But I couldn’t have been happier that Natalie was having mine. Just two weeks to go, and then I could pitch in and share the load.
I took her by the shoulders and gently turned her toward me before leaning over to address our belligerent baby. “Listen, Gotham. You need to stop all this hibernation crap and just get out here already. You’re driving your momma here crazy, and I’m getting really fucking impatient to see you.”
“His name is not Gotham.” Natalie put her hands on her belly as if she could cover his ears. “And don’t say fuck,” she whispered. “He hears you.”
I straightened up and took her face in my hands. “Of course he does. He probably even knows what it means. He’s brilliant.”
“Oh?”
“Can’t miss.” I dropped a kiss on her cute round mouth. “You’re the smartest person I know. And my sperm was genius enough to scale the walls and penetrate all your defenses—so genius that your body was like, ‘Oh yeah, this is the one. Fucking astrophysicist here. Brain surgeon. Virtuoso. This is clearly sperm prodigy.’”
She cocked her head. “Sperm prodigy?”
“Definitely.” I kissed her lips again before dropping to my knees, lifting up the flowing hem of her maternity dress, and pressing my mouth to her belly. “Are you listening, wunderkind? You found your way in, now complete the maze and get out. The fit might be a bit tighter through the hedges, but I think you can do it.”
“Oh, God.” She laughed and pushed her dress back down, but a moment later, she gripped her lower back, and the giggle turned into a groan. “Don’t make me laugh. It hurts.”
“It does?” I hopped to my feet and studied her, trying to assess how serious this was. Natalie wasn’t one to complain about anything, or get dramatic. “Maybe we should call the doctor. Or stay home tonight.”
“No, no. We have to go. It’s Jillian’s engagement party; I don’t want to miss it. And even if we stayed home, I’d still be uncomfortable.”
“Are you sure? I can go get you a pint of Ben and Jerry’s Cake My Day and give you a foot massage while we watch Netflix. Or a butt massage. Those are nice too.”
She smiled, but I saw pain flicker across her face, and she had to take a deep breath before she spoke again.
“No, let’s get going. I need the distraction. Will you grab my purse? It’s on the bed.”
I grabbed it, but I saw the way she walked toward the door, using the edge of the dresser for support, slowly shifting her weight from one leg to the other and wincing with effort. Something buzzed up my spine—a warning. She looked gorgeous, but something wasn’t right with her tonight. “Hey, we’re calling the doctor in the car, OK? Just to make sure.”
She nodded, exhaling slowly. “OK.”
On the twenty minute ride to the restaurant, Natalie spoke with the doctor, who didn’t think her symptoms sounded like anything more than end-of-pregnancy discomfort, but said we could head over to the ER if she wanted to be seen tonight. Natalie hated that idea, of course. “I want to go to the party,” she said when she hung up, her eyes filling with tears, as they did so often lately.
“Then we’ll go to the party,” I said, taking her hand and kissing the backs of her fingers. “And if you start to feel worse, tell me.”
“I will. I’m sure this is nothing. Dr. Baldwin said she often gets these calls from first-timers thinking they’re in labor when it’s really just the buildup,” she said sheepishly.
I gave her hand a
squeeze. “Exactly. Everything is going to be fine.”
“It is. And don’t tell anyone I’m not feeling well, OK?” Her voice got stronger. “I don’t want my family to worry, and I don’t want anything to take away from Jillian and Levi.”
Our baby, of course, didn’t give a shit about taking away from Jillian and Levi, and decided to arrive early.
Natalie had been shifting uneasily in her chair all evening before finally leaning over during the meal and saying, “Uh, I think this baby is coming tonight.”
For a second, I totally panicked. I mean, I completely freaked out internally.
No! No! I’m not ready! I can’t be a dad! I’m not qualified! I’m a child myself! I’ve never even had a dog! I’ll probably forget to feed the baby! Or drop it! Or damage his frail little psyche with my foul mouth! Oh my God, whose idea was this? Why did I ever think I could be a father? I have to get out of it! I’m a menace to society! I can’t be trusted! What is wrong with the universe that someone like me is entrusted with ensuring the health, safety, and happiness of a helpless human being? Where’s the exit row? Can my seat cushion be used as a flotation device? I need the oxygen mask!
“Miles. I’m scared.” Natalie put a hand on my arm, and as soon as I looked into her eyes, my anxiety was replaced with the fierce need to protect her, make her feel safe, keep her calm. Maybe I wasn’t qualified, or even deserving, but I was this woman’s husband and this kid’s dad, and I loved them more than I’d ever be able to express. They were everything to me.
“Don’t be scared, honey.” I patted her arm and spoke quietly. “I’ll totally take you to the hospital as soon as I finish eating. The chicken piccata is amazing.”
“Miles!” she hissed. But a smile ghosted her lips, and I was grateful I knew how to make her laugh. If the baby really was coming, this could be a long night.
Happy Crazy Love Boxed Set Page 47