“Not yet,” Callon said.
What? I jerked my gaze to him. “Then when? We’ve got a bit of a time crunch here, don’t you think?”
His expression hardened. “I’m not traipsing halfway across the continent until I’ve exhausted all possibilities.”
“I’m pretty sure we did that yesterday.” I could barely form more words. That look on his face meant he was immovable. I’d seen it before, too many times.
“One day is far from exhausted,” he said. He might as well have a shovel in his hand, digging further in as we spoke.
“If you don’t want to go, point me in the right direction and I’ll…” Fuck! I couldn’t go myself. This really did suck. I was used to our tie being a benefit, not a liability.
“Sucks, doesn’t it?” Callon asked, smirking.
Glad it lifted his mood. He wasn’t the one with the lake of sludge after him. Would he keep me stuck here until it was too late?
“It wants me. What happens if it never stops coming for me? Will you let this lodge be swallowed up or kill me instead?”
“We’ll find a solution.”
We. Of course he’d put it like that. He couldn’t get away from me. It had to be we. And if he could kick me out right now? Where would the we be then? It would be dust. He’d. Kick. Me. Out. I knew it in my gut because it was what I’d do. It was the only sane move. And if he couldn’t kick me out? He should kill me. My life wasn’t worth the destruction of this place and all the lives it provided for. That was the bottom line.
“There’s no ‘we’ in this room. There’s you and me and this place. To be honest, this lodge is worth more than both of our lives. There aren’t that many good places left in this world. I can’t let this place fall.”
In a world as barbaric as ours, it was too precious a commodity to be wiped out. I knew what happened to people under bad rulers, how people shifted their psyches around to survive, rationalized what they had to do until they were the “helpless” and their sins weren’t their own. I couldn’t let the only decent place I’d ever known of fall.
“We won’t,” he said, persisting with the “we.”
Between the encroaching threat of destruction, that we was one too many to stomach. “There is no we. We aren’t a team. If you weren’t stuck with me, I would’ve been kicked out of here weeks ago, and we both know it.”
“I’m so glad you know my mind better than I do.” His shoulders, once relaxed, straightened. His stare that had been almost friendly was now nearly feral, with a hint of red.
Red was becoming my favorite color. I got up and walked around the desk, getting closer to the beast that was simmering right under the surface.
“Teddy, I don’t know what you’re thinking lately, but you need to back off.”
I kept walking toward him. “What if I don’t want to? Why do you keep him chained up all the time? Are you afraid of him? I’m not. I say let him out.”
I hadn’t realized I was pressing my palms against his chest until he wrapped his hands around my wrists and pulled them off, holding them in between us.
“You little idiot. You know nothing.”
“I wish that were true.” I already knew more than I ever wanted of men. If I could bleach my brain of some of the things I’d lived through, I’d chug a gallon of the stuff right then. If I could torch away the memories, I’d gladly stand upon scorched earth. But I couldn’t.
I flexed my hands in his grip, moving slightly closer in spite of it. There was something deep within him that soothed some wild part of me. He was pulling back, but I could see the look in his eyes as they grazed my neck, my mouth.
He wanted me.
I wanted his beast. It was a fair trade.
“What’s a little mutual using between enemies?” I said, leaning in.
He shook his head and pushed me away from him before turning and leaving.
What the hell just happened? Tuesday said he’d jump at the chance. So why was I staring at his back as he walked away?
Fifteen
I walked into my room, kicked off my shoes, and didn’t move any farther. My once-beautiful white cover was bunched into a shredded mess in the middle of my bed, yellow stains splattered all over it. At least one person with a very full bladder was pissed, literally, that they might have to leave their homes because of me.
“Teddy?”
I ran to the door, blocking Tuesday before she walked in. I couldn’t afford for her to go on the warpath. Then Koz would join forces to help her—at least, I’d hope. This whole place could end up divided over a prank because someone was in a bad mood. The worst part was that they had a right to be.
The doorknob in one hand, I filled the rest of the opening.
“What are you doing? Why are you blocking the door?” She was looking over my shoulder, but I knew she couldn’t get a clear shot of the blanket from her angle.
“No, I’m not.”
“What’s going on in there?” She ducked lower, trying to peer around the bend of my waist.
“Nothing.” I shifted in front of her.
“You know your nose twitches when you lie, right?”
Actually, I hadn’t. I put my fingers to my face, without even thinking about it, all but confirming what she’d said. Everybody has their dull days when the brain doesn’t want to work that well, but this was a doozy.
She pushed into me until we fell together in a lump on the floor. She was up and past me, scanning the room like a dog on a scent. She stopped in the same spot I had. “What the—”
“Don’t freak out. I don’t want to make this into a bigger thing than it is. They’ve heard about the Hell Pits, and a few of them aren’t happy.” I grabbed the bag I used for laundry and rolled the ruined blanket up, shoving it inside.
Tuesday took a step closer. “Washing isn’t going to fix that.”
“I’m not washing it. I’m going to bury it, but I don’t want anyone to see it.”
“Why are we keeping it a secret?” Tuesday asked, watching me stuff the last of the blanket inside the sack while trying not to touch any of the wet parts.
“Because I don’t want to encourage others.” Where had she been all those years? People had a herd mentality. Once they saw this, they might all pile on. That was the way it always went. You would’ve thought she hadn’t grown up in the same village as me.
“You think they’d gang up?”
“Yes. That’s what people do, but that’s not going to happen because we aren’t going to make a thing of it.” Holy smokes, had she never paid any attention?
“Are you really sure we aren’t going to do that?” Tuesday dropped onto the bed like a giant that was told she wasn’t going to be allowed to eat the villagers.
“Yes. Really sure, maybe the surest I’ve ever been.”
Her mouth turned down and she walked from my room, muttering something about being a killjoy.
I grabbed my bag, made sure the hall was clear, and then dodged down the stairs and outside. There was always a fire heap ready to go farther down the lawn about twenty feet from the lodge. There were still embers burning in the pit as I tossed the blanket on the pit. The fire sprang to life with the new fuel. Five minutes later, the last identifiable remnants of the cover burned away as the crows came to land on branches nearby, cawing.
I looked up at them on their perches. “Do you guys have nothing better to do than watch me?”
They cawed in response, and it sounded like heckling. I turned and made my way into the kitchen. Issy was peeling potatoes at the counter.
One of the girls, Frenchie, was there helping her, plus a guy named Tommy. Neither of them gave me more than a passing glance. Probably not the culprits.
“Issy, do you know where I could get another blanket?” I didn’t whisper. I spoke just softly enough that it wouldn’t carry, but loud enough that it didn’t seem like I was trying to keep a secret.
“Sure. What happened to yours?”
“I get really co
ld sometimes.”
“Oh,” she said, nodding, as if it all made sense. “I forgot you’re in Callon’s old room. It’s got the best view, but you pay for it at night. Didn’t bother him none, but you don’t have enough meat on those bones to manage too well.”
She put her knife down so she could poke at my stomach and give my hips a squeeze, all the while appearing to be adding up how many more calories I might need a day.
She picked up her knife and went back to the potatoes. “Too skinny, and you don’t eat enough at dinner. I’m making my special creamy potatoes tonight. I’ll put aside a special batch for you.”
I could feel the other sets of eyes in the kitchen on me now. As if they didn’t already have enough reasons to hate me. If I got special catering, the gang ready to torch me would grow from a little snowball to an avalanche.
“You don’t need to do that. I eat plenty at dinner. I promise.”
“All right,” she said, but I saw a glint that told me there’d be a large bowl set aside for me anyway. “Oh, the blanket. In your hallway, third door down is a closet. There’s a pile in there. Take whatever you need, and I’ll make sure there’s some extra logs for your room later.”
Frenchie narrowed her eyes. I narrowed mine back.
“Thanks, Issy.”
She smiled and patted my shoulder, but there was something deeper brewing in her eyes. Sooner or later she might try to talk about what happened. I could sense it hovering in between us lately, even more so the last couple of days. I got out of there before things got awkward.
“You had no right.” Callon’s voice echoed in the hallway.
He wasn’t the type to raise his voice. He’d get angry plenty, but you knew it from his tone, his eyes, not how far his words carried.
Hmmm. Curious. Who had crossed the line? Make a right, go up the stairs, and go get a blanket from the closet? Or make a left into the alcove and retie my boot? I made a left. I wasn’t sure why I bothered debating that one. I might be living here now, but that didn’t mean I’d be here in a week. All he needed was one strong witch or wizard and I’d be out on my ass. I couldn’t afford to not listen.
“They asked,” Zink said. “They had a right to know.”
And now I knew who’d spilled the beans on me. He hadn’t wasted much time at all getting the story out. It was so obvious now that I thought about it.
“When the time was right. Not when you—”
The door shut with a loud thud. It didn’t matter. I’d heard enough. I’d been in agreement that the people here should know what was coming, but I guessed a heads-up would’ve been nice. Maybe a chance to tell them myself, explain things a little, let them know I’d try to leave. That I wouldn’t intentionally rob them of their home.
Now it was out there, but not in an open way I could address. It was filtering through all the nooks and crannies of this place, being whispered about when no one was around. The truth of it had been bad enough, but now it was probably being twisted as it traveled its lurking path.
They were going to hate me—not that it mattered. I’d been shunned before. I’d live. There were worse things.
I found the third door like Issy said. The second I opened it, I heard the murmur of voices. I drew a mental map of this place and realized I was right over his office. I didn’t bother debating this time; I moved as quietly as I could, shutting the door without the sound carrying. The closet was filled with supplies, but huge, as I navigated my way toward the voices.
“You need to get rid of her. You know this,” Zink said.
“And you know I can’t,” Callon responded, his voice a near growl. No one sounded any happier than when I’d heard them downstairs. That included me, since I might’ve gotten a splinter in my earlobe from pressing it against the old wooden floor.
“You could if you find a strong enough witch or wizard. Bitters might be able to do it.”
Zink thought it too. I had to get there.
“Bitters is hundreds of miles away. He might be dead before I get there,” Callon said.
The room went silent for a few seconds before Zink said softly, “Then there are other ways.”
Well, at least I knew who’d be the first to come for me. Zink was above pissing on covers but not above taking me out, if that was what had to be done.
More silence.
“Are you suggesting…” Callon didn’t finish the question. He didn’t need to. I wasn’t in the room and I knew what Zink was suggesting.
“We might not have a choice.” Zink’s words were chilling in their accuracy. It sucked when you agreed with the henchman who wanted to kill you.
“Nothing touches her unless I say so. That better be clear, because I will not let that slide.”
There was a long pause. It sucked not to have eyes in the room.
“You’d choose her over me?”
“It’s not a choice that needs to be made yet,” Callon said.
“Yet.” My life might be hanging on by a “yet.” I would’ve felt a lot better with a “never.” But “yet” was better than go have at it.
“Are you in love with her? You said it meant nothing, but you—”
Callon cut him off before he could finish his thought. “Try to not be more of a paranoid ass than normal.”
Was Zink out his mind? Why would he ask such a thing? Callon hated me. And what meant nothing? What was he talking about? This was almost worse than hearing nothing. I had more questions than before.
“Then what is it? It’s something, because you’re risking an awful lot for her.”
“I don’t kill innocents.” There was a finality to Callon’s voice that gave some comfort.
“She can steal the life out of someone. That doesn’t feel so innocent to me,” Zink said, his voice growing louder.
“She was able to save someone close to us because of that same gift. She’s hardly the devil.” Callon’s voice was growing softer. I’d barely heard him this time. Now he was mad.
So saving Issy was now coming around to save me. He felt indebted to me. How had I not guessed? And fuck, why did I hate that? What did it matter why he was sparing me if I was alive?
“If she stays here—”
“This conversation is over.” The way Callon said it, it was clear things were going to escalate if Zink pushed it further.
I held my breath as all sounds stopped. I imagined them staring each other down, but that was only a guess.
I heard some shuffling around. The door slammed.
I wasn’t sure if I was relieved or terrified by the precious perch my life wobbled upon. I’d known it would come to this, but hearing someone discussing your death was still a chilling affair. I lay there, cheek still pressed to the floor while it all sank in. I didn’t move from the closet for a long while.
Sixteen
I ate more potatoes than I wanted under the watchful eyes of Issy. She wasn’t the only one keeping tabs on me. I could feel the eyes of others when I wasn’t looking. Some of the people who lived in the smaller building around the lodge had decided to filter in tonight as well, popping in and sizing me up before leaving. They could look all they wanted. This was old hat to me. Easier, in fact, because I wasn’t chained to a pole. I had a full plate of food as I sat beside Tuesday.
Zink was down at the other end of the table, throwing red-hot glares my way. The two of us were going to have a little chat, but I’d do it after I ate another five potatoes and made Issy happy. Then we’d brawl. Right now, though, he was making it hard to chew through my own anger, and I had to eat.
Callon was across the room, staring at Zink. He shot a warning stare in Zink’s direction and then gave a parting word to Hess. Hess gave him a nod and then went back to eating. All in all, dinner was a pretty hostile affair. It was a good thing I’d had serious training in this type of environment.
“What’s going on?” Tuesday asked for the fifth time. Maybe sixth? I’d lost count.
I gave another shake of my head,
but she was being stubborn today. Koz walked in, late for dinner. His eyes shot to us on one side of the table and then to Zink. He looked at Hess, who was standing up eating in the corner as he tried to steer clear of getting in the middle.
Koz’s gaze then shot back to me, but I didn’t see any surprise. He’d heard the fight too. He hadn’t needed to press his ear to wood. He probably heard them arguing a few rooms over.
I rolled my eyes in Tuesday’s direction, hoping he’d understand my plea for help. Tuesday was definitely gearing up to ask me what was wrong again. I’d shared almost everything with Tuesday for years, but this one was tough. If I told her Zink was ready to kill me, it would divide the house, maybe the guys. If it got ugly enough and sides were drawn, what happened if Callon sided with Zink in the end? Would Koz side with Tuesday, or would it cost her him and her new home? And to what end? So she could be chased across the continent with me? Never setting down roots? Robbed of all her dreams because she was loyal? Fuck no. I wouldn’t do it to her.
Koz walked over, slid into the seat beside Tuesday, and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. He pulled her in for a kiss. “I missed you today.”
Koz might be doing me a favor, but none of that affection was fake. I wouldn’t be the reason she lost it, either. It wasn’t long before he was tugging her from the room. She gave me a last look, saying she’d be finding me later for interrogation. I smiled back, pretending there was no need.
The few stragglers left emptied out and we were down to three: Hess, Zink, and me.
I watched Zink finish his plate and head out of the room. I finished up quickly and followed him. Hess pushed off the wall as I did, and I put a hand out to stop him.
“Trust me, I don’t need a babysitter.”
Hess looked down at my hand and then nodded, leaning back against the wall. “Didn’t think you did.”
Zink made his way upstairs to the end of the hall and out the door, where there was a deck that overlooked the property. I followed.
Savage One: Born Wild Book Two Page 10