“She can’t. The next person who suggests that should go pack their things,” Callon said from behind me.
A hush settled over the crowd.
No one else said a thing. I could see on their faces what they wanted to say, and none of it was nice. I straightened my shoulders and kept my head up.
Callon stepped in front of me. “Back to the purpose of this meeting. Who’s volunteering? This might be our only shot.”
But it wouldn’t save this place. It would buy a little time and that was it.
Slowly, hands began to rise. I walked away from the group before they were done counting numbers.
I’d barely hit the bottom stair in the hall when Issy was behind me and tugging on my arm.
“Did I ever show you around all the camping gear that was stored here?” Issy locked elbows with me and steered me in a new direction.
“Camping?” I’d never heard of camping, but it seemed Issy was going to show me all of this gear, as she pulled me with her.
“It’s what they used to call living outside. There’s all sorts of stuff. It’s fun to look through when you need a distraction.” She smiled and continued to tug at my arm.
Her explanation had me picking up my speed. “Thanks. I’d love to see it.”
“It’s in one of the basements. Not the one where I keep all the dried meats that’ll last us through winter, but the one next to it. Do you know where I mean?”
“No.” God, I loved this woman. At least I’d have a chance of surviving.
“I’ll show you. It’ll be fun going through all of it with you. Always good to learn about the old ways, just in case.” She patted my arm.
Thirty-Four
It was three a.m. and I hadn’t gotten a minute of sleep. Tomorrow was the day I left. Tuesday might never forgive me, but that didn’t matter. She’d stay and make a life. It would be all right, and maybe someday I’d be able to come back here. At least there’d be a here to come back to if I did this. If I didn’t, there’d be nothing.
There was only one thing I needed to do. I got up, put on my boots, and left my room. I made my way downstairs, not as careful to be as quiet as I normally would. I opened the door, letting the fresh air wash over me, and then stepped outside, breathing deeply. Was I really going through with this?
I turned toward where Callon’s room was. There was a glow of light coming from his window, defining his silhouette. He was watching, waiting.
I looked back at the trees. I wanted to run free through them, feel the air flowing through my hair. Most of all? I wanted Callon with me, beside me. Tomorrow and yesterday didn’t exist. There was only this moment as I took another step.
And then another.
It was wrong. He wanted more. I didn’t have it to give and yet couldn’t stop the need I felt, driving me forward. I took a few more steps and then glanced toward his window again. He was still there. Maybe this was the time he wouldn’t follow me. I was about to find out either way.
I ran.
Once I started, I couldn’t seem to stop or slow down. I tripped on a branch, launched forward, and skidded to a halt. I got up again and continued to run to the one place I wanted to be, nearly crazed.
Finally, his steps sounded behind me, louder than usual. I turned, knowing what I’d find. He was here, his beast, standing in front of me.
Then his shape shifted. He’d never changed before. Every other time he’d remained a beast and then carried me to his den. Why was he changing?
Callon stood before me naked, human, every muscle in his frame tense, as if he was warring with himself.
“Go. Back. To. The. Lodge.” Each word was ground out.
For what? To lie there alone? This was my last night here. Whether he knew it or not didn’t matter. I knew. I’d made my choice, as terrified as I was. He wouldn’t unmake it for me. I didn’t want to be alone anymore.
He stood before me, nothing but hot flesh and coiled power. I stepped closer, my breathing as shaky as the rest of me.
My lip trembled as I said, “No.”
He fisted his hands, the tendons in his neck tensing into a sharp V.
“Go,” he said.
I could do as he asked, walk back. I could remain standing here as he slowly regained his control, until he dragged me back with him. Or I could unleash the part of me that wanted to run as wild as he did and untether us both, damn the consequences.
I spun, running from him, knowing I’d trigger the predator, the part of him that was so close to the surface that I could taste the power he barely held in check. I ran toward the place he brought me when he was the beast.
It happened so fast that it was a blur. One second I was running again, and then I was tumbling with him, turning as we fell until he landed underneath me. Turning again, until the length of his body was pressing against mine.
His arms caged me in, his eyes feral.
Still, he held back, his frame rigid as he fought himself. It made me want him more, and I hadn’t thought that possible.
I arched up, rubbing against him.
“You don’t know what you’re doing,” he said.
“I know exactly what I’m doing. I knew it the second I ran.” I leaned my face closer to him and ran my tongue up the sensitive skin of his neck, marking him as he’d marked me.
The last bit of his control snapped. He stood, yanking me up with him and then tossing me over his shoulder. He ran through the forest, but not toward the lodge. He climbed, carrying me up the cliff until we were in his cave. He dropped me onto the pile of furs but then stepped away, still warring with himself. Still fighting what was going to happen.
“Sleep,” he demanded, backing away.
“No.” I got up and followed him. “I need you. I need this. I can’t be with anyone else. They’ll never know me. They didn’t see me as I limped my way to freedom and then crawled when that didn’t work, scarred and disfigured. They know this.” I stabbed at my face, the one I saw every day that didn’t belong to me anymore.
“It’s not me. You know me. You’re the one who didn’t flinch. I know how men looked at me before, but you didn’t. You never cared.” If I was going to have one last night here, I wanted everything, including Callon. I wanted it to be true and not some boy who wanted me for a face that didn’t feel like mine. “I need you tonight. Please.”
He stood still as I moved closer. I grazed the ridges of his abdomen with my hands, afraid of moving lower, scared he’d pull away from me.
“I need you.”
“Whether anyone else saw it or not, you were always beautiful.” His hands went to the edge of my jacket, yanking me to him. My length pulled against his, his lips covered mine as his tongue plunged into my mouth. I grabbed his hair, afraid he’d change his mind.
He pulled my jacket from me. The rest of my clothes followed in short order as he walked us backward, dragging me down to the pelts with him. His body covered mine from shoulder to the tips of my toes. He cupped my face with his large hand, a callused thumb fanning back and forth across my cheek in a gentle caress that was in sharp contrast to the way his mouth dominated mine. His other hand went on a trail of discovery. Its callused palm traced a line from my throat to between my breasts, pausing to test the weight of one before continuing its journey. He dipped his hand lower, smoothing over the quivering flesh of my stomach. Nerves had nothing to do with the tremors. It was anticipation, the knowledge that, for the first time in my life, I wanted sex with a man. Not any man, but this one, only this one. He pressed his fingers against me, and I arched into him.
He broke from our kiss to shift his arms to either side of me, rising above me on his elbow. His knee rode the inside of my thighs, pushing them farther apart until he could settle his hips in between. The hard length of him rubbed against my center, and I pressed farther, ready, wanting, knowing exactly what would come next.
He shoved inside of me, and a wash of pain had me jerking stiffly, but it was barely anything compared to th
e pain I’d felt in my past. He paused, resting his forehead against mine, waiting for it to fade. A restlessness took over my body at his continued stillness. I arched into him, asking for more, and he gave. He withdrew, and the friction sent tingles of pleasure through me. He thrust back in as my hips met his, each movement building the pressure within until I was digging my fingers into his back, feeling as if I’d die if I didn’t have even more of him. His thrusts increased until I was exploding from within; he followed me over the edge with a final thrust and a growl that no human male’s throat could produce.
No matter what came tomorrow, this moment was right. I’d never been so sure of anything in my life. I was meant to be with this man. And even if it only lasted tonight, that would have to be enough.
Thirty-Five
I found myself alone in my bed the next morning. Callon had returned me to my room and left. I was relieved he’d not stayed, even if it meant I wouldn’t see him one last time. It was better this way. The ache in my heart would’ve only been worse If I’d woken beside him. What if I chickened out because he’d been here? No. Definitely better.
I got to breakfast late, knowing he’d be gone. Tuesday had disappeared with Koz, as was their morning routine. There was a note waiting in my room for her. I’d written five different notes to Callon, but none of them seemed right. Last night would have to stand on its own.
Leaving the lodge in the middle of the night would’ve drawn much more attention, so I lay low in my room until late morning. Activity around the lodge was at its peak, and no one paid me much mind as I walked with a pack on my back. It was filled with everything I’d need—some weird, metallic-looking blanket and a tent stuffed into it with the rest of the supplies. There was enough dried meat to fill my stomach for weeks. Plenty to live on, but part of me couldn’t imagine a future as I walked away from the lodge—or not one I wanted to think about.
I told myself not to cry, but as usual, my body wouldn’t listen. The farther I walked, the faster the tears fell. The crows cawed as they flew overhead, always mocking. I’d been walking for close to thirty minutes, now sobbing, when I was suddenly stopped by what felt like a rope around my waist.
I tried to take another step. It didn’t work. I took several steps back and then ran forward. Instead of getting farther, I fell to my knees.
Bitters hadn’t cut the tie between Callon and I. It had been a bunch of bullshit. I should’ve known it wouldn’t be that easy. What was wrong with me? He’d taken a plain old pair of scissors and snipped. Was I a complete idiot? Yes. All evidence was pointing to that conclusion. Now what did I do? I walked over and kicked a tree a few times for good measure, since I had nowhere else to vent my frustration.
Standing in the middle of the woods wasn’t going to fix anything. I’d have to come up with a different plan. I had no other choice. I had to go back to the lodge.
And I’d slept with Callon. It was bad enough I had slept with him, but then I ran off the next day without a word? The entire scenario was groan-worthy, epically bad. The only way to possibly salvage it was to get back before he knew I’d tried to leave.
It was freezing out, but I’d broken a sweat with my pace, and it didn’t matter. Callon was waiting for me, leaning against a tall oak, right before the line of trees gave way to the field around the lodge.
“Didn’t realize you were the love ’em and leave ’em type,” he said.
Now I was sweaty and red. Of course there had been no way he’d let this go without saying something.
His forearms corded where they crossed in front of his chest. He didn’t get cold like a normal human, so his lack of jacket might mean nothing. Or it meant he’d felt our connection being tugged on and left in a hurry.
“I thought maybe it wouldn’t still hold. I had to try.” The idea of telling him that Bitters had duped me with his magic scissors was too much humiliation to pile on top of the current load.
Plus, Callon was visibly fuming. I didn’t need to add fuel by telling him the whole story right now.
I used to wonder if Callon wanted me dead. Now I couldn’t figure out what he felt. Was it possessiveness over my unique talents? Did he simply want me the way a man wanted a woman? Was his ego bruised because, like he said, I loved him and left him? Or did he not know how he felt?
I definitely didn’t know. Tuesday thought I was in love with him. If loving someone meant you wanted to kill them most of the time and yet you couldn’t bear the idea of never seeing them again? Yeah, maybe she was right. This was love. But if that were true, who the hell wanted any part of it? I couldn’t afford love, and neither could he. We had something more important. Obligations.
“You should’ve waited a week. You would’ve had company,” he said, before he turned and walked in the direction of the lodge.
“What are you talking about?” I asked running after him.
He turned his head slightly toward me. The longer I had to wait for him to answer, the worse I felt.
He stopped and let out a sigh that had the ring of defeat. It wasn’t something that he wore well or often.
“I’d hoped that as the Hell Pit continued to flow uphill, it would eventually slow down and then stall out. It’s not. It’s crossed onto our lands. We’re running out of time.”
Callon, who’d been so sure we’d find an answer, was on the verge of defeat. I’d expected to fail this entire time, but hearing it from him was the last nail in the coffin. “What about the trenches?”
“Working on them, but I don’t think it’s going to be enough.”
“I have to leave here, even if you come with me. You have to get me away from here.” This day was getting worse and worse. He had to see the logic of it now, or we were done.
“It won’t work anymore.”
“Why not?”
He was already grabbing a stick from the ground and drawing in the snow.
“That’s us.” He pointed to a small circle. There were two larger circles to south and the west. “The western one is the closest, but it’s neck and neck right now. The people I have watching them tell me the two of them are about to merge into one larger one. Once it does, we only have two directions left to go. North and east. Even if we were to leave tonight, it wouldn’t matter, as it would still draw them closer to the lodge.” He tossed down the stick.
Because if the Hell Pits wanted me, they’d have to travel over the lodge to get to me.
“Then we leave and head southwest. You said they haven’t merged yet. There’s got to be a way to thread the needle in between them before they do and draw them away.”
“Last word was that it was close to joining, so it might’ve already happened.” He turned and began walking again. I wasn’t sure if he was still mad at me or the defeat was getting to him. I didn’t care either way. I couldn’t. We were down to our last option.
“What if it’s not?” I yelled.
“I’m expecting an update soon. We’ll reassess then. By the way, Tuesday was looking for you,” he said, then made a point of looking at the bag on my back.
Oh, shit. The note. I had to get inside before Tuesday got nervous and found the note in my room. I abandoned Callon and ran the rest of the way to the lodge, ignoring the looks I was getting. I dumped my supplies outside. I’d fetch them later when it was dark out and no one was watching.
I burst into the back door. Issy looked up from her seat at the counter where she was drinking her tea.
“No good?” she asked. I shook my head as I ran past. “Can’t say I’m upset by that,” she called after me.
She said that now. Wait until she was traipsing through the world with no shelter and no food and her tune might change. That was another day’s problem, though. If Tuesday found my note, there would be absolute hell for weeks.
Running was too conspicuous, so I walked as fast as I could straight to my bedroom. She was in the hall, hand on my doorknob and about to go in.
“Where’ve you been? I’ve been looking for y
ou for an hour,” she said.
“Went for a walk to clear my head.”
She walked down the hall toward me until we were both standing on the top landing. “I wanted to see if…” She turned her head toward the window over the main door. “Who are those people? Not a great time to visit, that’s for sure.”
I looked out and groaned.
Thirty-Six
Callon was standing on the lawn with one dark-haired man and a woman with flowing red hair, also known as my “long-lost parents.” It might be easier to play into the ruse. Only issue with that was I didn’t think I could act well enough to get past the finale when they discovered they were wrong and left.
Tuesday turned to me. “You know them? Is that…” She sucked in the loudest breath I’d ever heard.
“The people who think they’re my parents.” I wasn’t sure if I should go get my bag and try to escape again or march right up to them and tell them to leave. I was sure neither would work. These people were stubborn as hell. I couldn’t escape. Only one thing left to do: see why they were here and try to scare them away. It would be less painful for all involved if no one got attached.
“You didn’t tell me your dad was hot. Whoa. If I wasn’t in love…” She made a very disturbing humming noise as she fanned her face.
Callon was talking to them and smiling as they walked toward the lodge. “I’ve got to get out there before he invites them to stay.”
“I should come too,” Tuesday said, walking beside me.
“No. Stay here. I’m not looking for a welcoming committee. I don’t want them to stay.” She was already looking happy about this situation. I didn’t want happy. I needed mean. Real mean.
She pointed to the door. “But I want to meet the fake parents.”
Savage One: Born Wild Book Two Page 21