Puppy-dog-lost. She came alive at that, shaking her head with a small laugh. A puppy was not the animal she’d associate with Daniel...
‘What?’ EJ said, her brow raised in mock innocence. ‘I’m only saying that it seems to me you’ve just won us a mega-contract and a bit of selfish fun in the process—what’s the problem?’
‘You make it sound so simple.’
‘Isn’t it? It’s not like you’d be looking for anything serious with a man like him, but why not grab a little fun while you can?’
Fun. Oh, yes, he can deliver on the fun. But how will you feel when the fun fizzles out? When he flip-flops between you and some other woman? When he gets bored?
Hell, you could be bored by then too...
It was a feisty retort and one that she could cling to. Not that she believed it possible, not for a second, but if she went in with her eyes open...well, that made it okay, right?
CHAPTER NINE
IT WAS FRIDAY and the weather was holding out, glorious sunshine, temperatures worthy of a day at the beach, not work. But she’d lined up an out-of-city viewing, keen to get out of the smog and into the open countryside.
She was looking forward to it. Far more than was healthy. But she didn’t care. She had a real energy that she hadn’t felt in years. And this was the first time she’d seen him in two days, unless you counted the numerous occasions in her head where she relived each and every encounter.
But nothing could compare to seeing him in the flesh. Or his car...
No way.
She should have known he would turn up in it, after his comment earlier in the week, but as she watched the deep blue Vantage pull up at the kerb outside her office building, she had to swallow the lump in her throat and work to control the thrill rushing through her veins.
She should have known it would be no ordinary Aston too. Not when the man driving it was Daniel. It bore race livery, the kind that inspired a heady reaction in her blood, and her palms dampened against the tablet clutched to her chest.
The man himself stepped out of the driver’s side, his black T-shirt clinging to every honed muscle of his chest, and she forced her eyes up to meet with his over the roof.
‘Morning.’ He grinned and her insides bubbled over, making it hard to speak. Instead she smiled and closed the distance, meeting him at the passenger side and trying not to devour him from top to toe, lapping up his fitted T that gathered midway over his crotch and the stonewashed jeans that hugged his hips with mouth-watering intent. He pressed down the handle and opened the door for her. ‘Are you well?’
She nodded and smiled up at him, wishing her voice normal. ‘Nice wheels.’
‘I thought you’d appreciate it.’ His eyes raked over her, his pupils eclipsing the burning amber that seemed to strip her of her clothing and make her wet for him in one. Maybe she shouldn’t have opted for the delicate red dress, its flimsy fabric offering up no resistance to her nipples now prickling to the fore. ‘It was worth it to see your reaction.’
Which one?
She sucked the inside of her lip, forcing her body to relax as she lowered herself into the seat and let him close the door for her, cocooning her in all that was luxury. She feasted on every alluring detail, using it to distract from the race inside. She brushed her fingertips over the exquisite leather, tracing the lines in the embroidered trim, the curve to the centre console and dashboard—sweet.
He pulled open the door on his side and she brought her hands onto her lap, placing them atop the tablet and telling herself to behave.
He dropped into his seat, his grin building anew, and set the engine going. ‘I’m glad you approve. You can take her for a spin later.’
Her eyes snapped to his, excitement urging her to say yes, but, ‘I wouldn’t want to risk pranging it.’
‘I trust you.’
His simple statement warmed her through. He made her feel too good, too easily.
‘Do you want to plug the postcode into the satnav while I get us out of the city?’
‘Sure.’ That gave her something to do, something to concentrate on other than the confusing dance going on inside her.
One hand on the wheel, he used his other to launch the system and all she could do was watch the hypnotic ripple across the back of his hand, his fingers moving deftly over the joystick and reminding her of the other talents they possessed. Talents that involved working her to the brink, regardless of their surroundings. Like in the restaurant when she’d wanted him to go a whole load further than the tip of her thigh—
‘She’s all yours.’
‘Huh?’ She almost leapt; if not for her fiercely pinned hands on her lap, she was sure she would have done.
He raised his brow, his eyes laughing at her. ‘The satnav...’
‘Oh, yes, sure.’ She could feel the heat spread through her cheeks, an outward reflection of her inner fire, she was sure, and pinned her sights on the equipment and very much off him.
She fumbled over the postcode, both fingers and eyes refusing to do as she bid. She blamed it on his proximity, on his scent. So close, his aftershave engulfed her senses, so near, the heat of his body called to her.
‘It takes some getting used to,’ he remarked.
‘Huh?’
God, do you have to keep making that noise?
‘The controls.’
‘Yeah, sure, almost done,’ she mumbled, finally getting it and settling back into her seat, her hands back in her lap as a woman’s voice invaded the cabin with its first instruction. She checked the display—eighty-two minutes to destination.
They were going to be the longest, most teasing eighty-two minutes of her life.
‘So, you get your love of cars from your father?’ He looked across at her briefly, his eyes colliding with hers as her pulse skidded off.
He remembered!
Don’t go all soft. It wasn’t that long ago you told him.
She smoothed a steadying hand through her hair and nodded, thinking on the familiar and the calming territory his words had inspired.
‘I do, he’s race-mad, it’s high-speed motor racing all the way for him.’
She smiled as she remembered the numerous arguments her parents had had over family holidays. Her mother pushing for the Caribbean, her father insisting on Monaco, and the compromise position they always got to: a nice family holiday abroad that didn’t quite get them all the way to the Caribbean but kept them all happy, and the British Grand Prix at Silverstone.
Still, she’d give Dad his dream one of these days and get him to Monaco. She would, of course, have to go too, just to make sure it lived up to expectations.
‘Why the smile?’ He was looking at her, a peculiar glint to his eye, and then his attention was back on the road and leaving no indication as to what he was thinking.
‘My dream is to take him to Monaco, do the whole thing properly, you know? I almost had it all arranged for last year.’
She stopped. The direction in which she was heading too personal and bringing back memories she really wanted to do without.
He frowned across at her. ‘What happened?’
She shrugged with forced nonchalance and set her sights out of the passenger window.
If he couldn’t see her, he couldn’t read her.
‘It just wasn’t meant to be.’
‘What about this year? It’s just over a month away. I know people that can sort you a nice VIP package.’
She gave a laugh that sounded far more bitter than she intended. ‘Thanks, but it’s going to be a pipe dream for a while, just until I get my business up and away.’
He studied her for a moment and she wondered if he would press further but then he looked away and she breathed a small sigh of relief.
‘I read up on your previous company,’ he said, cutting her relief short, and sh
e clamped her jaw shut. ‘It was very lucrative...still is, from all I can gather.’
Her pulse twitched in her cheek, the tablet biting into her fingers as she sensed his continuing attention on her, split between her and the road.
‘Seems strange that you would give all that up because your relationship with Charles broke down.’
She loosened her jaw, letting out a small breath to say, ‘It wasn’t straightforward.’
‘No?’
What would it hurt to be honest with him? Just get it out and be done with it.
She hated voicing it though. Made her worst fears feel more real. That she wasn’t good enough. Still wasn’t.
‘I couldn’t remain in business with him after we broke up.’
‘I take it that was his decision?’
‘Yes.’
‘After five years?’
Christ, he remembered that too.
‘Yep, five years.’
Five years, and every one of them wasted.
He flexed his fingers around the wheel, his gaze unreadable on the road. ‘It’s a long time to be together. What happened?’
She turned to look at him.
Why all the questions? The interest?
‘It turned out I wasn’t enough woman for him.’
His eyes snapped to her, narrowed and intent, and then he blinked and looked back to the road, but they’d left their mark, searing her with a passion she couldn’t quite decipher.
Was it anger? Desire?
‘He was unfaithful?’
‘Repeatedly.’
She watched his fists flex around the wheel again, the tension rippling through his body.
‘How did you find out?’ It was then she understood the cause, the distant tone to his voice giving away the internal reflection going on beneath. He was thinking on his own parents. He was angry at them. Just as he’d been the night in her office—
‘You don’t need to tell me.’
His prompt pulled her up and she looked to the road, trying to ignore the way the memory of that night chilled her. Or was it just the memory of what Charles had done?
No, it wasn’t that. Charles no longer seemed to carry the same weight, which would be a good thing, if not for the cause of that switch being sat right alongside her.
‘No, it’s fine,’ she said. ‘To be honest, it became impossible to miss in the end. There’s only so much lipstick on the collar, weird credit-card purchases and mistaken text messages a woman can take before she has to open her eyes to it.’
‘He didn’t come right out and tell you.’
‘Hell no, I had to yell it out of him.’ She grimaced as she remembered that particular fight, but not with the familiar ache of loss, more with shame over the foolish way she had ranted. She never should have given him the satisfaction of seeing how much it had hurt.
‘I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have pressed,’ he said gently, his hand moving from the wheel to rest upon her leg and making her flinch with the bolt it sent through her. He lifted it away immediately, misreading her reaction and apologising again.
‘It’s okay,’ she said, pushing back the ache to have his hand return. ‘It’s a relief really. At least it happened before we ended up married, or, worse, had children.’
She sensed the air tighten and immediately realised her faux pas—shit. ‘I’m sorry.’
He flicked her a look, his eyes strangely dark and haunted, and her heart ached inside her chest—he suffered, no matter how strong he appeared. ‘Why?’
‘Your parents, your...your...’
Words failed her. It didn’t feel right to discuss something that she had gleaned from sources other than him, and unpleasant sources at that.
‘You can say it,’ he said. ‘Believe me, I’ve had years to get used to it.’
She swallowed. ‘I’m sorry, I don’t like the gossip columns at the best of times and stuff like that shouldn’t be splashed around for the amusement of others. I wish I could un-see it all.’
He surprised her with a smile, his eyes softening to look at her and taking her breath away. ‘You and me both.’
Emotion welled, their budding connection encouraging her to try for more. ‘It must have been hard growing up like that. I know you said Julia had it rough, but for you and your brothers it can’t have been much better.’
He gave a small shrug. ‘We had some good times. Dad was home six months of the year and during that time we would make the most of it.’
‘When did it change?’
‘In my teens. My brothers and I were getting older and liked having our own space. There was less need for them to be with us and they seemed less and less interested in each other. Of course, the rumours in the press didn’t help with that.’
‘No,’ she said quietly, easily filling in the blanks. ‘I can imagine.’
‘And then one day, he left. The next thing we knew he’d been found dead and his mistress made clear whose bed he’d been in when it happened.’
She watched his knuckles whiten around the wheel, the intensity of his stare through the windscreen clawing its way through her gut, and she couldn’t stop herself reaching for him. Her fingers resting over his thigh.
‘Do you really have nothing to do with your family now?’ She knew what she’d read but she just couldn’t get her head round it. His closeness to Julia. His obvious love. Could they really be so bad that he’d turned his back on them?
He was quiet and still. He didn’t even seem aware of her hand upon his leg. And then he turned to her, his eyes scanning her face. ‘You say it like you can’t believe it possible.’
He looked back to the road. Should she drop it? Did he want her to?
But she knew she was close to understanding him, and she wanted that, no matter the risk that posed to her just-in-it-for-the-fun stance.
‘They’re still your family.’
‘They were my family,’ he said. ‘If we had weathered the storm together and then tried to make a normal life of it maybe things would have been different. But when the cameras arrived, everything became an act, a farce. I couldn’t even tell you what was true and what was fake, put on for publicity’s sake.
‘My brothers thought it was great, going along for the ride, but it changed them,’ he said tightly. ‘And I couldn’t stand it, I had to get out—that’s when I found Julia and decided to go it alone.’
‘But it wasn’t your brothers’ fault. Don’t you miss them?’
His throat bobbed. ‘While they still perform for the cameras I want nothing to do with them.’
It was a question of trust. She could see it so clearly now. She’d hazard it was the same for his mother too. But still, time had moved on; a lot could happen in ten years, a lot could change. His brothers certainly had, from all she had read, and she wanted him to see that.
‘But your younger brother is hardly part of the show any more. He’s away studying engineering at university.’ She watched him tense up but refused to back down; he had to realise things were different now. ‘And your eldest brother is happily married, by all accounts, and now expecting his first baby. You’re going to be an uncle in a few months.’
His head turned back to her, his eyes narrowed and hard. ‘You really have been doing your research.’
‘Sorry.’ Heat launched into her cheeks. She really had read up on him, far more than her determination to keep her feelings wrapped up should have permitted, but she couldn’t help it. ‘I guess I figured no more surprises was the best way to move forward.’
He looked back to the road, his tone as dead as his body was still. ‘No more surprises.’
He said it as if he agreed with her reasoning. He said it as if it was fine that she would have read all there was to read. That all the horrible things the press had said were above board and solid. She wanted him t
o deny some of it, to pick apart the untruths, anything to paint him as less than bad. And why? So that she could see this as more than it was: a simple fling and two sales.
That he would suddenly morph into her Prince Charming and whisk her off her feet.
That’s not who he is. He never will be. Get back on track. Focus on the sale and the sex. That way you’re safe.
She could almost hear her conscience laughing at her.
* * *
Daniel’s body throbbed with tension. And not from dragging up his past, but from the worry she would soon run a mile.
She knew the worst of it all. And there he was adding to it, telling her things about his past he didn’t even discuss with Julia. Johansson occasionally got a flippant comment, but never anything that ran so deep as all he had told her. And then she’d brought up his brothers, facts he’d been more than aware of and, if he was honest, in denial over. His worry they held his departure against him preventing him from trying to make amends.
He looked to her fingers upon his leg and felt her reassuring heat seep into his jeans.
She’s not running, she’s trying to bring you comfort. After all she’s learned, she’s offering her understanding...
Was it possible that if she could maybe his brothers would too, given the time, given the chance?
‘I worry they won’t forgive me,’ he said, his voice quiet as he fixed his sight ahead. Out of the corner of his eye he saw her turn to face him, her fingers flexing into his thigh.
‘I think, given all you’ve been through, it wouldn’t take much for them to understand why you did what you did.’
He raised his brow in disbelief. ‘How can you be so sure?’
‘Because I do,’ she said, her voice so earnest he wanted to pull the car over and pull her into him. How could she understand him? How could she be so generous with her affections when he’d been so restrained with his own? Affections—did he really think she held such for him? And if she did, then he should be running, doing everything he could to put her at arm’s length, and yet he couldn’t contemplate anything worse. ‘Because I understand why you did it, and they will too.’
Mr. Temptation Page 11