by HELEN HARDT
“Baby…”
“Please, Brad. We’re going to be together for a long time. I need to know how to please you.”
He nodded. “Start as slowly as you need to.”
“You mean I don’t have to deep throat you this time?”
His eyes shot into circles.
I couldn’t help a laugh. “See? I know a few things. Not that I’ve ever done any of it.” Looking at Brad, I wasn’t sure any woman could ever deep throat him. He was massive.
I fell to my knees and let his dick dangle in front of me. I touched my tongue to him and swirled it over the head. Salty. And rather pleasant. When he shuddered, I knew I was okay. I could do this. I could do anything for Brad Steel.
I puckered my lips and kissed the head. He shuddered again.
Then I gripped it as he’d shown me and kissed it again.
“Fuck, baby.”
I looked up at him. His dark eyes were burning.
“Okay?” I said.
“Perfect. Except now I need to be inside you. Right fucking now.” He pulled me to my feet and set me on the bed. “Do you have any idea what you do to me, Daphne? Any idea?”
I quaked beneath him. “I imagine it’s along the same lines as what you do to me.”
“Maybe. I don’t know. All I know is if I don’t get inside you right now, I’ll go insane.” He touched his fingertips to my vagina. “Thank God. You’re ready. More than ready.” He shoved his erection into me.
“Oh!” I cried as he filled me, completed me.
“I love you,” he gritted out against my ear. “I love you so damned much. No matter what, baby, I’ll always love you.”
No matter what? But I didn’t think any more about his words.
“I love you too,” I panted.
His thrusts were hard. Hard and fast. Hard and fast and perfect. For this was what I needed. This raw taking. Later, we could make slow, sweet love. Later, maybe I’d be able to give him a real blowjob. Now? I wanted to be fucked.
Yeah, fucked. I never used that word, but I understood it now. Fucking was raw. Fucking was hot. Fucking was an escape.
An escape I craved.
As he fucked me, I closed my eyes and let him take me to a new place—a happy place, a place where I didn’t have to think. Only feel.
And I felt everything.
When Brad filled that aching emptiness inside me, all the problems went away, floated off on the waves of our passion.
When he pushed into me with his final thrust, I reveled in the completeness, the joining of our bodies, the love we shared. Everything. Everything was okay when we were together.
Everything would always be okay.
Chapter Nine
Brad
Had I given her what she needed? She hadn’t come, and I felt bad about that. I also felt like a heel for wanting a blowjob from her after all she’d been through. All she didn’t know she’d been through.
“I’ll take care of you,” I whispered against her ear after I’d rolled off her.
“You did. It was perfect.”
“But you didn’t—”
“I don’t need to. I wanted the closeness tonight. I wanted you inside me. I don’t need anything else.”
“Maybe you don’t need it, but do you want it?”
She smiled. “Maybe, but my mind is back with my mom now. I’m not sure I could have a climax tonight. You gave me what I needed.”
“Are you sure? I’m happy to…”
“I know you are. You gave me what I asked for.”
“You asked me to make love to you.”
“I did, but I found out what I really needed was a good fucking. Just the two of us joined, forgetting about real life for a blissful moment. You gave me that. Now I’m back, and I need to think about where we go from here.”
“What do you mean? We go where we were always going. We get married and we have the baby. Surely you’re not reconsidering.”
“No. No, I’m not. But I didn’t think about my parents’ needs in all this, and I’m paying for that now.”
“Daphne, your mother didn’t take those pills because of you.”
She bit her lip. “Yeah, she did. She was fine until now.”
“I don’t think she was ever fine.”
“But—”
“Shh. I’ve been around depression. I told you my mother struggles as well. Don’t blame yourself for this. You have enough on your plate. You don’t deserve it.”
“I can’t help it.”
“Then blame me as well. I contributed to your condition as much as you did.”
“But we didn’t do it on purpose. You used a condom.”
I smiled and shoved a stray hair away from her eye. “That’s my point. It happened anyway. It was fate.”
“Fate,” she said softly.
Daphne had first used the word to describe our meeting, and I’d grown to believe her. Fate had a hand in it. A big hand. Any other time, a condom would have prevented pregnancy. We’d beaten the odds.
As far as I was concerned, this child was meant to be.
I kissed her forehead. “You’ve had a rough night. Go to sleep. I’ll find the guest room.”
“I’m not sure Mom put it together yet.”
“Doesn’t matter.”
“No. Stay with me.”
“I’d love nothing more, but this bed is tiny.”
“I’ll lie on top of you.”
“Then neither of us will get any sleep. Besides, if your father comes home early and finds me in bed with you—”
“I’m already pregnant, Brad. What else does he think could happen?”
She had a point, but I’d come to respect Jonathan Wade. He loved his daughter and would take care of her forever if he had to.
He didn’t have to.
It was my job now.
“It would be disrespectful for me to sleep in here with you, baby. You know that.”
“Yeah, I know,” she relented. “The guest room is right next to this one. I hope there are sheets on the bed.”
“If there aren’t, I’ll find something. Don’t worry about me.” I rolled off the bed and grabbed my clothes. “Come on. Get under the covers.”
“I should put some pajamas on.”
“Yeah, good idea. I’ll get them. Where are they?”
“Top drawer of my dresser.”
I opened the drawer and pulled out what appeared to be a nightgown. “This?”
“That’ll do.”
I gave it to her. Once her beautiful body was covered, I gently tucked her into bed. “Holler if you need anything. Try to get some sleep. Your mom is in good hands.”
She nodded and closed her eyes.
I walked out, flipping the light switch.
I found the guest room, and there were sheets on the bed. I put my underwear back on along with a T-shirt and slid under the covers.
“Brad.”
A low voice.
I jerked upward.
“It’s me. Jonathan.”
My eyes adjusted to the dark. Jonathan Wade stood in the guest room.
“Is everything okay? Lucy?”
“She’s going to be fine,” he said. “Come downstairs. We need to finish our talk.”
“What time is it?”
“Six a.m.”
I got out of bed. “No problem. I get up at five on the ranch.”
“I’ve already brewed a pot of coffee and checked on Daphne. She’s sleeping soundly.”
I pulled on my jeans and followed Jonathan downstairs to the kitchen. He’d already poured two cups of coffee.
“Black, right?”
I nodded.
“I thought that’s how you took it last night. I wasn’t sure, though. Seems like a lifetime has gone by since then.”
“Yeah, I know what you mean.” I swirled the coffee in my cup to cool it and then took a sip.
“I haven’t had a chance to talk at length with a doctor about Lucy.”
“Of
course not. It was the middle of the night.”
“Yeah, and today is Sunday. I’ll make an appointment first thing tomorrow.”
I nodded. “What exactly happened? Daphne said they pumped her stomach.”
“Yeah. Just to get the drugs out of her, but most of it had gotten into her bloodstream by that time. Turns out it’s nearly impossible to die from overdosing on Valium. You’d have to take way more pills than Lucy had.”
“Thank God.”
“Still, she’s not out of the woods. She had a lot of alcohol in her system as well as some barbiturate sleeping pills. I don’t know what she was thinking.”
I didn’t know what to say to that, so I said nothing.
“Honestly, Brad, I had no idea she was suffering so much.”
“If it helps, I don’t think Daphne did either.”
“Daphne hasn’t been here for the last month. I have been. I should have seen the signs.”
“Not if they weren’t there.” I cleared my throat. “Daphne is blaming herself.”
Jonathan’s eyebrows shot up. “Why would she do that?”
“She thinks her pregnancy sent Lucy over the edge.”
“I hope you told her that’s not true.”
“I did. Whether she believes me is another story.”
Jonathan shook his head. “Daphne doesn’t need this. She has enough to deal with.”
I nodded. She did, even if she didn’t know part of what she was dealing with.
“I’ve been thinking,” Jonathan said. “Lucy had to be so strong after what happened to Daphne. She could never falter, never let our daughter see the pain she was carrying. Now, with Daphne gone, Lucy’s had time to dwell on things. In retrospect, I could see her declining. I should have been more attentive.”
“Hindsight is always twenty-twenty.” How well I knew. “Don’t blame yourself. You didn’t force those pills down her throat.” I winced at my own words. Had I gone too far?
Jonathan seemed okay, though. “I understand that. But I could have prevented this, and I didn’t. I don’t know how I’m supposed to live with that. Not after everything else.”
I had no words of wisdom for the man across from me. I was twenty-two years old. Twenty-two! Jonathan needed advice from someone more experienced than I.
He continued, “I need to focus on Lucy.”
“Of course.”
“I’ve been distracted. Distracted by work. By Daphne.”
“She’s your daughter, and she’s been through a lot. Of course you’ve been concerned.”
“I have been. Maybe more than I should be, or maybe not enough. I never expected her to…”
“Get pregnant?”
“Get involved in a relationship so soon. I believe that the pregnancy was an accident. I’ve told you that.”
“I know. Trust me, I wasn’t looking for a lifetime commitment either when I met Daphne. But she’s the one. I knew it before the pregnancy. I can’t explain it.”
“I hope you’re right. I hope you truly do love my daughter.”
“I do.”
He nodded. “Because I’m counting on you, Brad. I’m counting on you to take care of her now.”
Chapter Ten
Daphne
Running.
Fear pulsed through me as I ran.
Panting. Can’t catch breath. Running. Got to get away. Away, away, away….
I jerked up in bed, my heart racing.
The dream.
The damned dream.
Again.
I didn’t scream. Why?
A moment passed before I realized I was home in my own bed. I’d come home for the weekend. Brad had come with me. We’d told my parents about our child.
And my mom had overdosed on Valium.
I didn’t scream because I was home. I’d trained myself not to scream when I woke up. I didn’t want to upset my mother.
But my mother wasn’t here. She was at St. Joseph’s hospital being treated for a drug overdose—a drug overdose that I’d likely caused.
Dawn was breaking. I eased the chills on my arms, rose from my bed, and walked to my window.
I could watch the sunrise this morning.
That would chase the nightmares away. I loved the sunrise—the beginning of a brand-new day. The aurora. The beauty that told me anything was possible.
I put on my slippers and padded out of my room. The door to the guest room was open. I peered in. “Brad?”
His bed was rumpled, but he wasn’t there.
I looked down the stairs. “Brad?” I called.
“Down here,” came his voice. “Your dad and I are having coffee.”
I raced down the stairs. “Daddy? How’s Mom?”
Brad and my father sat at the dining room table. Our galley kitchen wasn’t big enough for a kitchen table.
“You want some coffee, sweetie?” Dad asked.
I poured myself a cup. “Please. Tell me how Mom is.”
“She’s okay,” he said. “She’ll be gone a few days.”
At the hospital. I hated hospitals. But I’d suck it up. “I want to see her.”
“You will. It’s so early. What are you doing up?”
“I want to watch the sunrise.”
That got a smile from both Brad and my father.
“That’s a spectacular idea, sweetheart,” Dad said. “Let’s all watch the sunrise. The view is great from the deck.”
Brad took my hand as we walked outside onto the deck. The mountains were purple and crisp in the distance to the west, but we looked the other way. Toward the east, where the sun would rise in its pink-and-gold glory.
I had the nightmare.
My mom’s in the hospital.
Brad and I have a hard road ahead of us.
None of that mattered when I let the beauty of the dawn consume me.
And oh, it was so beautiful. Was anything in the world more beautiful than a Colorado sunrise?
“Next time you’re on the ranch, we’ll watch the sunrise,” Brad said. “The mountains are to the east there, and I tell you, there’s nothing more amazing than watching the sun rise over them.”
“I’d like that,” I said.
My father perked up. “Wait a minute. What do you mean ‘next time’?”
Uh-oh. I hadn’t told my parents about my trip to Brad’s ranch a few weeks ago. I smiled. When our baby was conceived.
“I’ve been there,” I said.
“I had to take care of some business, so I took Daphne home with me for the weekend.”
My father pursed his lips, but he didn’t say anything. What could he say? We were both adults, and what was done was done.
“I met Brad’s father,” I said.
“And his mother?”
“She was out of town,” Brad offered. “We’ll go there next weekend when she’s home. You know, to give them our news.”
“How do you think your parents will feel about all of this?” my father asked.
“Probably the same way you felt,” Brad said. “It’s not the optimal situation, but it happened despite precautions. We’ll get their blessing.”
My heart raced. I’d wanted to enjoy the sunrise, and now I had to think about telling Brad’s parents about our situation.
And of course my mind slammed back to my poor mother in the hospital.
I stood. “Let’s go in.”
“But the sunrise,” Brad said.
“It’s over. We were too busy talking to notice.”
“I’m sorry, sweetheart,” my father said. “It’s my fault. I was a little taken aback that you’d already been to the ranch.”
“It’s no big deal.” But it was a big deal. It was one less sunrise I’d see in my lifetime. One fewer thing of beauty I’d witness.
I patted my belly. You and I will watch all the sunrises, little dove. You’ll get me up early anyway, and we’ll mark each new day together.
“I’m going in,” I said.
“We’ll come with
you,” Dad said.
“Sure. I could use another cup of coffee,” Brad agreed.
“Don’t bother.” I sighed. “I’m going to take a shower.”
I left them on the deck and went upstairs to the bathroom. One bathroom for all three bedrooms. Certainly different from what Brad was used to. In the ranch house, all the bedrooms had their own private bath. Plus, this one bathroom was tiny. We had a small powder room on the main level, but it only housed a toilet and a sink. If you wanted a bath or shower in this house, the bathroom upstairs was your only choice. I turned on the shower and shed my gown.
Soon I’d go to the hospital to see my mother, and then Brad and I would drive back to campus.
Where I’d have to act like nothing was the matter.
I could do that. I was used to it.
Chapter Eleven
Brad
“Is she okay?” I asked Jonathan.
He nodded. “She gets a little distant sometimes. Surely you’ve noticed that.”
“Honestly, I haven’t. She’s always happy at school, always looking on the bright side of things.”
“Oh? That’s good to hear.” Jonathan smiled. “She’s probably worried about her mother, then.”
“Of course. That makes sense.”
“When Daphne’s done in the shower, I’ll take mine.”
“Yeah, I should do that as well.”
“Sure. After I’m done.”
“Oh. Yeah, of course,” I said. They only had one shower in the house? It was a small suburban residence, but surely…
Daphne and I had certainly grown up differently. I had taken so much for granted in my own life.
“Daphne will want to go to the hospital to see her mom. Then we’ll head back to campus.”
Jonathan nodded. “I hope you were serious about wanting to take care of Daphne and the baby.”
“You know I am.”
“Good. It’s important. Especially now.”
“Especially now?”
“I’ve neglected Lucy. I see that now. I should have seen this coming and prevented it. I’ve been so focused on Daphne that I didn’t see what was right in front of my face. Lucy needs me.”