by Hunter Blain
Closing my eyes, I sent all my focus into the child’s head, being as careful as inhumanly possible. The limo driver flashed through my thoughts, giving me pause like a tightrope walker in a strong breeze. I had broken his mind when I’d trampled in like a bull in a china shop.
Letting out the breath I had been holding, I steeled my will and continued searching within the bone walls. The armor told me what was supposed to be there and what wasn’t.
I focused on the portions of rogue tissue and began willing the body to attach the ample supply of white blood cells to the problem areas like a foreman at a demolition site. Within moments, all of the cancerous tissue was surrounded and being attacked. With a supremely tiny amount of effort—so as to not break anything with too much power—I energized the white blood cells to work at a peak level never before seen in a mortal.
I could feel the cancer shrinking as the white blood cells attacked the targets I directed them to, dissolving the chunks before shuttling away the waste.
After a few minutes, the last of the mass was destroyed, leaving behind a brain free from the deadly cancer.
For good measure, I sent a small pulse of energy throughout the body, invigorating the cells of the child.
Pulling back my focus, I could see his eyes fluttering, prompting me to quickly but gently remove the breathing tube.
Simon’s grandfather stared in awe as the boy’s eyes opened and focused on first the ceiling, and then me. His mouth tried to work, but only squeaks came out. I grabbed the clear ice water cup with the big, bendy straw, and brought it to his mouth. After a few sips, he let the straw drop from his mouth and began licking his lips while frowning at the feeling and taste of the white film, or so I assumed.
“Hey, buddy. You’re gonna be okay now,” I promised as I rested a hand on his chest.
Simon looked at me and nodded, not fully comprehending what had happened but trusting me and the words I spoke.
“Someone here wants to say hello,” I said as I looked at the boy’s grandfather. His eyes were wide enough I thought they were going to pop from his head. It was funny to me that I had seen that look a hundred times before from mortals. Wide eyes were nothing new to this vampire, but I couldn’t recall a time when they were wide because I had done something good enough to warrant them. A part of me wanted to hold that thought and wallow in self-pity about how I had never used my powers in this capacity before, but I shook the thought away and opted to bathe in the positive instead. I was beginning to learn that everything in life—or unlife—was about perspective. You could choose to see the beauty in the world or stick your head in the sands of pessimism.
“Are you a angel?” the man asked as he rushed to his grandson’s bed, wrapping wrinkled fingers around tiny hands. His jaw hung slack as his eyes switched between his grandson and me.
Once again, I chose to not answer the question and instead said, “Don’t worry about the bill. It’s been taken care of. Make sure to give Simon the best life possible.”
“Thank you, mister. Thank you!” Glistening eyes landed back on Simon and rested there, soaking in the sight of the boy smiling back at him.
I walked around to every room, repeating what I had done to Clara and Simon. I took death away from the innocent children, feeling the debt of sin I had accumulated over the centuries begin to chip away.
Then I saw rosy cheeks wet with tears as I crawled in the clear prison. I had climbed to the top of the mountain that were my sins only to see that, beyond the peak, was another mountain awaiting me, blotting out the sun.
“Excuse me, who are you?” a nurse asked tersely, not recognizing the man in the doctor coat that was walking behind the center station.
I extended my palm out to her and sent my essence into her mind. She gasped before relaxing as I moved from behind my eyes and down my arm before passing through her head.
Just as Baleius had shown me with the Hilton employee, I went through the ceiling of the information warehouse to land in the control room.
It was lined with I Love Lucy decor. Like...a lot. Think about how much Batman stuff I had. Like that, only of the plucky redhead. But I wasn’t here to admire the scenery.
Moving with efficiency, I took the wheel and positioned her hands to fly over the keyboard of the computer she sat at. I went to billing and was pissed off when I couldn’t see how much each patient owed. Then again, I wasn’t surprised that a nurse didn’t have access to patients’ financials.
Instead of getting the exact amount, I mentally notated each of the names that had legal rights over the children’s care. I assumed they were all parents or some close family member.
Once I got what I needed, I looked for a security program to erase the recordings of me walking down the halls.
“That’s weird,” I said with the female nurse’s voice as I watched the screen. Where I walked was a blur, as if someone had severely pixelated my entire body. It was same for every camera I came across. The background around me was crystal clear, but I was a mass of blurred boxes.
I went to click on delete and saw that the button to do so was grayed out.
“Shit,” I said through the nurse as I understood she also probably didn’t have clearance to just delete video from the security archives. “Makes sense,” I drawled before accepting the fact that at least they couldn’t see me if they went back to check the footage for some reason.
I willed myself out of the woman’s mind, grabbing the memory of my visit as I did.
Once outside her mind and in my own control room, I returned to my body and began hastily walking toward the exit while the nurse blinked rapidly. Glancing over my shoulder, I could see a confused expression on her face before she shrugged and continued whatever work I had interrupted.
Taking the elevator to the ground floor, I got off and glanced around to see the waiting room where Clara and her mom had been was now occupied by a new family, waiting their turn in the long line of never ending patients. I wanted to smile at the fact Clara would live another day, but seeing someone else replace her kept my features still.
As I walked through the sliding glass doors, I willed my own clothes to return while stepping into the light of day. I felt tired for some reason, and looked inward to see an alarming amount of my well had been tapped.
I felt for the celestial charge and noticed it was completely empty.
“What the cheap batteries, Batman?” I drawled as I thought about how much energy had been used to save only one floor of kids.
“Saving a life is much more difficult than taking one, wouldn’t you say?” said a familiar voice from beside me. I didn’t react even though it had somewhat startled me.
“Hello, Gabriel,” I said without looking at my archangel friend.
“How do you feel?”
“I don’t know. Tired, I guess.”
“Almost seems unfair how little energy is required to take a life, doesn’t it?” he said in such a way that made it clear he was informing me rather than inquiring.
I turned my gaze and saw him staring into the pretty blue sky I had admired before. He was wearing celestial sunglasses and a white wicker hat with a small gold belt running around the band.
“Why does He allow this?” I asked in reference to Gabriel’s Father.
My angel friend looked at me as he spoke, “Allow what?” I could barely see his eyes behind the golden tint of the glasses.
“You know damn well what,” I barked out in a harsh whisper, not wanting to draw attention to us. Days were so much busier than nights and I was aware of wandering eyes and listening ears.
One corner of Gabriel’s lips turned up in a smile as he regarded me.
“Father created all life. Isn’t that enough?”
“No!” I blurted, knowing I was walking into the trap he had laid.
“Why not?” Gabriel continued to bait.
Unable to help myself, I doubled down and continued forward. “No parent should ever have to watch their child die.
” I noticed my teeth were clenched as I spoke, refusing to separate as my words were spoken.
“If not for Father, they never would have drawn breath on this beautiful orb they call Earth.”
“If he cared enough to create life, why does he let shit like this happen?” I asked, feeling the weight of what I had done sitting atop my shoulders. Curious how I didn’t feel exalted and lighter at having saved so many lives today.
“What is it?” Gabriel asked, studying my face.
“I’m tired, man, and I can’t figure out why. I thought, I don’t know, that I’d be happy or something. I know what I did was good, but I’m just...tired.”
“You’re a good man, John. What you are feeling is the inability to help all the children in the world that you know are suffering at this very moment.” He turned his body to fully face me while removing his sunglasses, offering a clear view of his piercing eyes. “Today you understood that there is never enough good you can do, that someone will always need help out in the world.”
“I don’t think I follow. I mean, I get what you are saying, but I still don’t understand why I’m not happy. Usually, I feel good after saving someone, especially kids.” My mind flashed to the girl in London the night I had burned Ulric. I had rescued her from a burning building and then used my blood to heal her blistering skin. The joy I had felt rivaled any love-struck poet’s collective works.
“Be careful, John, because your pursuit of happiness might consume you.”
“Is that why you don’t do anything to help them?” I asked harshly.
To his credit, the archangel took my insult in stride as he replaced his sunglasses and looked back up at the sky.
“When you’ve lived as long as I have, and seen the things I have seen, you learn to make purposeful moves. Just like on that riverbank when Raziel first came to you.”
I was slightly rocked back at the mention of Da, and watched helplessly as my mind replayed that moment.
It had been 1965 in Indonesia, and I had been prepared to storm into a military barrack and punish every soldier that had killed all those helpless men, women, and children that had clogged the river with their bloated corpses.
Da had helped me understand that I could enact real change by focusing on those who gave the orders rather than the soldiers who carried them out. We’d met in the middle and I’d killed everyone anyway. But his point had been valid; I could spend endless energy removing every pawn I came across, or I could set my targets on the important pieces that sat just beyond the wall of expendable minions.
Turning my gaze away from Gabriel to once again stare into the baby blue sky, I said, “There will never be an end to it, will there?”
“What was done today will be explained as nothing short of a miracle. With that, the other parents around the world will wonder why their own sick child wasn’t deserving of the same blessing. Their heartache will be multiplied because there was the whisper of hope.”
My heart sank as his words rang true in my very soul.
Gabriel continued, “No good deed goes unpunished.”
“I still need to try.”
“Oh, please, do not mistake what I am saying as a means of convincing you to not help others. I am merely answering the question you delicately asked.”
I shifted my gaze without moving my face to give the angel a sidelong glance. I could tell he was grinning.
“Surely God has the power to heal everyone, if he so chose,” I countered in a conversational tone, knowing it was probably a long shot. It almost felt childish leaving my mouth, like I was watching a soap opera on TV, every line meant to create unnecessary drama.
“When is it enough?” Gabriel asked in an exhale, his smile dropping. “If Father takes all sickness but leaves crime against others, would it be enough? If Father took the desire to do harm away, would you still be you? Where does it stop, John?”
“I don’t know, but giving a kid cancer doesn’t sound like a very noble thing to do.”
Gabriel took in a long breath before letting out, “You honestly think Father gives the children cancer?”
“What about ‘he has a plan’ and all that jazz?” I asked with air quotes.
“That’s what mortals say to help them cope with loss. Life is not fair, and no one said it would be. But you seem to be missing the big picture here.”
“Oh, and what’s that?” I asked, crossing my arms as I turned my entire body to face the angel. He dropped his face from the sky to squarely regard me. I could see my scowling reflection in his golden lenses.
“Every soul on this planet has been given the breath of life, John. Father does not interfere past that. Yet there are those that are quick to blame Him, blatantly ignoring the blessing that is their very existence.”
I understood where he was going, and I had to admit he was right. But something still didn’t sit right with me.
“So we just, what? Do nothing?”
“I am not saying that at all, John. Instead, I am humbly pointing out that your focus could be better utilized elsewhere.”
I exploded at him. “What can be more important than sparing someone from watching their family die?!” My voice cracked at the end, and I think we both understood at that moment what I was really saying.
Gabriel smiled at me again before placing a hand on my shoulder.
“Do you know why the CEO of a corporation doesn’t take out the trash?” he asked, throwing me completely off guard.
I answered with stunned silence, prompting him to continue.
“Because his time could be better utilized making the decisions that directly impact thousands of employees. Don’t misunderstand; a CEO could take out the trash if he were so inclined. But, in doing so, the important tasks that only he can complete would be delayed, sometimes at great cost to everyone in the company.”
“I think I understand,” I admitted, dropping my arms and turning back to watch as the people bustled about their daily lives.
A car screeched to a halt and a woman frantically scrambled out of the passenger side holding an unconscious child. The boy’s face was turning blue. I frowned, feeling the gravity of Gabriel’s words pulling at my conscience, rendering me inactive.
From the corner of my vision, I was distinctly aware that the archangel was watching me intently.
The mother rushed toward the hospital entrance while the father climbed out of the driver’s side, his panicked red face in direct contrast to the blue one of his son.
I shifted uncomfortably on my feet as they came closer to where the angel and I stood. Gabriel remained unmoving, watching me.
I needed more time to think, but had none to spare as the woman raced closer.
Then everything went still as something inside of me clicked. The whole world froze around us, and I had to rub my eyes to make sure this wasn’t some illusion.
I recognized this place and turned to see Gabriel still smiling at me.
“Is this...?”
“The in-between,” Gabriel confirmed with a nod of his head. Our voices echoed as we spoke.
“How...?”
“You are learning quickly,” Gabriel said, approvingly.
I took the few steps that separated me from the blue child and looked down at his half-opened eyes.
“What will happen to him?” I asked softly, unable to pull my gaze from the dying boy.
“He will die.”
“And the family?” I asked, already knowing the answer.
“Will suffer a tremendous loss that will likely shake their very foundations.”
My eyes flashed red as I affixed them to Gabriel, who remained where he stood only a few paces away.
“I-I can’t just let him die in front of me. Not when I have the power to save him.”
Gabriel squared his weight on his feet, which were shoulder width apart, and clasped his hands behind his back, waiting...watching...
“You are free to make any decision, in the entire universe, that you wish
. It is the consequences that are unavoidable.”
“Getting real tired of hearing that, angel man,” I hissed aggressively.
“The truth is often hard to hear,” he countered gracefully. “Now, make...your...choice,” he said while lifting his hand to head height. Before I knew what was happening, he snapped his fingers, and the world resumed around us.
I was now standing in front of the woman—who had been running—and she crashed into me. An idea burst to life and I grabbed the child as I pretended to fall backward. As we fell, I placed a hand on his chest and willed my energy inside of him, searching for what was wrong. Within a fraction of a second, I discovered something wedged deep in his air pipe and sent a small, focused blast of energy to dislodge the item.
As the mother and child landed on top of me, a half-chewed pen cap came rocketing from the boy’s mouth, striking me in the face with a tiny, wet plop.
The child sucked in a huge breath before belting out a shriek. My eyes landed on the mother who had apparently never been happier to see her child scream.
The father ran the last few steps over to where we lay and grabbed his son in one hand before helping his wife up with his other. The family looked at the screaming baby and then began feverishly hugging one another.
I sat up and turned to see Gabriel was gone. My smile was replaced with a scowl as I wondered if I had just failed.
Eh, fuck him. If he thought I was going to just stand by and watch a family be broken apart, he was wrong. I turned back to the family and felt a modicum of peace wash over me.
“Are you okay, mister?” the man asked while holding his wife and son tight.
“Huh?” I said before understanding that getting knocked down could potentially hurt most mortals (at least over a certain age; damn kids under twenty-five and their rubber bones that forgave most impacts). “Oh, I’m fine. Are you guys good?” I asked, getting to my feet and patting at my coat.
“I think you just saved my baby’s life,” the mother cried between sobs of untold relief while raining a barrage of kisses on her son’s head. He had begun to slow down on his crying, wrapping his arms around his mom’s neck and groaning with each breath.