by Brynne Asher
I knew I shouldn’t have come. When Jen called and told me about Hattie, I made an offhand comment that if I were there I’d stock her fridge with healthy food that tasted good. Jen called Ellie and they both called me, insisting I should come, saying it would make their mom happy and I could be gone before Cam got here.
Well, I certainly wasn’t gone before Cam got here. But now I can’t get out of here fast enough and of course, I can’t sleep. I get up and throw on my sweatpants, tiptoeing through the house. I have no idea where Cam is or what room he’s sleeping in. I managed to avoid Cara and Jordy the rest of the night. It was more than painful to see all three of them.
Opening the back door, I move to the pool and curl up on a lounge. The night air is cooler than it was the last time I was here.
I look out to the wide open space. I’m looking at the barn lit up by the moonlight when I hear something and look back. Cam is coming out of the house holding a heavy decanter filled with copper colored liquid in one hand and a crystal cut highball glass in the other. He slams the door loudly and looks straight at me before tossing back the contents of his glass. Without saying a word, he comes my way. Claiming the lounge beside me, he steps over to straddle it unceremoniously before falling back with a sigh. The decanter clinks against the glass as he pours himself another drink and then, so loudly I’m surprised it didn’t break, he bangs it roughly on the stone of the patio.
I look over to get a good look and he’s drinking bourbon, but tonight he’s drinking it straight. He leans his head back and closes his eyes, appearing exhausted. And I’m pretty sure he’s had too much to drink.
He says nothing so I state, “Jordy hates me.”
He doesn’t open his eyes or move a muscle. “Yep.”
Well then. Sometimes it really sucks to be right.
I go on. “I shouldn’t have come. Your sisters kept in touch with me. I like them so I didn’t discourage it, but I will. They thought your mom might like it if I came. It was a mistake.”
Again, he doesn’t turn his head or look at me and repeats with his eyes closed, “Yep.”
Okay, enough is enough.
I turn to move off my lounge when he stops me, looking over. He sort of slurs with sleepy eyes, “Shoulda never’ve taken you.”
I blink, taken aback by his words.
“I’m a selfish mother-fucker. I wanted you more than I’ve ever wanted anything. I didn’t think. Didn’t think about the future. What you’d want, what I’d want. Just couldn’t help myself,” he bites angrily.
I don’t know what to say, so I roll to get up and leave. This isn’t good and I’ve no desire to hear what else he has to say.
He senses my exit and grabs my hand, yanking me back down where I’m sitting sideways on my lounge, facing him. Not letting go, his touch sears my skin. I’ve craved his touch over the past weeks, but this is different. He’s holding on tight to keep me where I am.
“Should’ve left you to give yourself to someone willing to give you what you want. But I didn’t. I took you and fucked it up for you. I fucked it up,” he slurs. I try and pull my hand away but he grasps me tighter, almost to the point of being painful. “Why’d you come?”
“I love your mom, you know that. And your family, they’re great,” I say quietly, ignoring everything else he said.
He immediately let’s go of my hand and huffs while shaking his head, mumbling, “You love everyone.”
“You’re probably right,” I say standing and, all of a sudden, I’ve had enough. He’s the one who ended things with me when I all but begged him to give it a chance, at least think about it. He has no right to play the martyr here, even if it is the alcohol talking. I’m done. But before I leave, I decide I have to tell him. I lean down and put my hand to his jaw, feeling his goatee and rough whiskers from a few days growth. Even though I miss the feel of his face in my hand, I forge on and pull his chin up to find him frowning. Leaning closer, I look into his blue eyes and brush his cheek with my thumb. Then, because I can’t help it and I’ve missed him so much it’s painful, I put my lips to the hinge of his jaw below his ear and kiss him softly before whispering the truth, “I might love everyone. But Cam, I loved you.”
And then, I have to get away. I stand, not looking back because there’s no way I can look and stay strong. I walk toward the house, but before I pull the door shut behind me, I hear the shatter of crystal across the patio.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
War
Paige
I’m doing my best, but it’s hard. I know I’m in charge of this brou-ha-ha and featuring it on my blog, but it’s the first time I’ve been back to Athica Lane in six weeks and I’m wound tight.
Cayden and Noah’s birthdays are only a week apart and Sophia is throwing them a big combined party. It’s Saturday around dinnertime, just a week after I saw Cam in Texas. And here I am, at a Star Wars birthday party that I can’t enjoy because he’s here, standing across the yard glaring at me. My anger toward him has grown over the past week since I got home from Texas. He has no right to be angry, not when he ended things sending me away. The hope has died, the sadness has evaporated, and I’m down right pissed.
And this pisses me off more because I love Star Wars. I put together a kick-ass party that I can’t enjoy because I feel his eyes on me wherever I go. I dip myself another Yoda Soda out of the punch bowl, which is nothing more than ginger ale over lime sherbet, but it’s the perfect color of green and even a little bubbly. The kids love it and so do I, but if he doesn’t stop glaring at me soon, I’m either going to throw it in his face or get a bottle of vodka to spike my Yoda Soda so I can better endure a Star Wars party with Campbell Montgomery.
I turn, almost spilling my soda all over my Yoda t-shirt that reads, “Judge Me By My Size, Do You”, when a group of little boys dressed in Jedi robes almost mow me down. They’re running with homemade lightsabers made of pool noodles, cut in half and trimmed with duct tape for the handles so they can beat the shit out of each other without getting hurt. I barely refrain from yelling, not having any patience for kids today, and that isn’t like me.
Sophia walks up to my side eating a Wookiee Cookie and says with her mouthful, “The air is so thick out here, you’d think Darth Vader walked in with an army of Stormtroopers.”
I look over and scowl. “I need vodka.”
She raises her eyebrows and tips her head. “Maybe you need the Force.”
“Shut up.” I look across the yard, trying to focus on anything but him.
“Why did you bring Brian?” she asks.
“I didn’t really bring him. He’s been stopping by and calling me constantly, trying to make up for what he did. My schedule is so busy that I keep putting him off, but ever since he found out Cam and I split, he’s been relentless. When he found out about tonight, he insisted on coming. I should’ve said no, but he was so adamant, I gave in,” I say, exasperated.
“I don’t know who Cam’s glaring at more, you or Brian,” she says.
“I’ve noticed,” I mutter.
“This is the cutest kid party I’ve ever been to.” Gabby walks up to us, her growing baby bump prominent, eating a red tinted chocolate covered pretzel rod made to look like a lightsaber. She puts her hand to her tummy. “Jude and I have decided not to find out the sex, but you have to promise to help me with birthday parties.”
“Thanks. I will,” I say. “Where are Tony and Leigh? They’re late.”
“They should be here anytime, I think they were stopping to get Rosa,” Gabby says before she moves to the buffet she’s eyeing. “I think I need some Jedi-Juice and a Han-Burger.”
“She can’t stop eating,” Sophia says, smiling.
“At least she’s not sick anymore,” I say.
“Great party.” I feel a hand at the small of my back and cringe. I look over and see Brian standing next to me, holding a bag of Padawan Popcorn.
I step away and roll my eyes. “Thanks.”
“And with that,” I look over at
Sophia who has big eyes and she continues, “there’s unrest amongst the Rebellion.”
I frown and look toward Cam. He’s fuming. His blue eyes are sharp and on me. If it was possible, he’d have smoke blowing out his ears and I bet he’s breathing like Darth Vader.
I feel my blood boil. He has no right to stare me down, giving me his angry face, and ruin my nephews’ party for me at my sister’s house. I glare right back and he immediately narrows his eyes.
Well, shit.
Cam
“Hey, man. You don’t look like you’re having fun.” I look over to see Lanny standing at my side.
I don’t say a word, my eyes darting back to Paige who’s scowling at me standing next to that guy who just touched her. He fucking put his hands on her. I didn’t like him before but I really don’t like him now. Why did she bring him and why in the hell did she let him touch her? I can’t believe it. There’s no fucking way she can be with that guy.
And as much as I’ve let my mind wander over the past few weeks to places and scenarios of what could be, I never let it go there. I can’t keep my fucking mind from seeing what she could see for us—for a future. But it was always us, even though I told her she needed someone who could give her what she wanted. But because I’m a selfish jackwad, I never let my mind wander to her with someone else.
Until now.
“Dude,” he calls. “You okay?”
“No.” I can’t look away from her.
“Look,” Lanny starts. “I don’t know what’s going on with you two and I know this isn’t any of my business. But when you were with her, I’ve never seen you better. The last few weeks, I’ve never seen you more miserable, and that includes when you’ve had to deal with that shit of an ex-wife. Are you a glutton for punishment, or what?”
I cross my arms, not looking away from Paige and don’t answer.
“Soph told me why you ended things. I guess I can see where you’re coming from given your ex. But if you give her what she wants, you really think Paige Carpino’s ever gonna walk on you?”
Without looking away from her, I growl, “You know I respect you Lanny, but you need to shut the fuck up.”
“What?” I hear him smile. “You gonna kick my ass at a Star Wars party?”
“Not yours,” I mumble and see that guy take a step closer.
He keeps fucking talking. “Should I get you a robe and pool noodle?”
And that’s when it happens. That guy reaches up and fucking touches her neck before he brushes a piece hair out of her face.
That’s it.
I drop my arms and move.
“You need back up?” Lanny calls from behind me, but I don’t stop or take my eyes off her as I stride to the patio.
When I get to her, she’s frowning, and turns her body to face me. Grasping her upper arm, I pull her to my side and say to the asshole, “Don’t touch her.”
“Cam!” she yells.
“Let her go,” the asshole raises his voice.
I put my other hand to his chest to push him aside before looking down to Paige. “We need to talk.”
“I’m not talking to you and you need to quit glaring at me.” She tries to wiggle out of my hold.
“Dammit, let her go,” the guy repeats, agitated.
“Leave them alone, Brian,” Sophia says but I’m already moving Paige away from the group, ignoring the scuffle I hear behind us.
I grasp her arm tighter and walk toward Sophia and Lanny’s house. I lean down and try to control my voice when I say, “Stop it. You’re making a scene.”
“I’m making a scene?” she shrieks.
“Quiet,” I fume, pulling the door open and drag her into the empty house.
“Dammit, let me go!” she yells, trying to pull away from me.
Ignoring her, I look around, feeling myself about to snap. With no other option, I move toward the hall and turn in the first doorway I find, pushing her in and slam the door behind us. I don’t look at her, but turn and lean both hands against the door.
Shutting my eyes tight, trying to control myself, I breathe. “He touched you.”
“What?” she asks in a high voice.
I hang on to what little cool I have left and demand as I feel my body tense. “Has he touched you?”
“You’re really something, Campbell Montgomery,” she spouts from behind me. “I might be inexperienced, but I know enough that when someone ends things, it’s done. It’s none of your business who touches me.”
I turn to look at her. She’s got her arms crossed with a foot hitched, looking at me with disdain.
“I’m gonna ask one more time and I want an answer.” My next words come out on a roar. “Has he fucking touched you?”
She frowns deeper and leans forward yelling back, “What if he has?”
Between seeing him touch her, her throwing her sass, the war raging between my head and my fucking heart, I can’t take it. I feel myself snap and turn, putting my fist through the first thing it touches.
Paige
I step back, not believing what I just saw. Not only has he dragged me away from the party, he pushed me into Isabella’s nursery and after demanding to know shit he has no right to demand, he put a hole in the pink, painted wall.
I know he’s lost it, but so have I and yell, “Are you crazy? You punched a hole in Isabella’s wall!”
He turns back around with his face full of rage, but this time his voice is laced with sarcasm when he belts, “You let him fuck you?”
“I cannot believe you,” I whisper, because I’m too shocked to scream.
He starts to move toward me and I move back, bumping into the crib. When he reaches me he puts his hands to my hips and holds me tight, pinning his body against mine. “Hmm? Tell me, baby.” He keeps on with the angry sarcasm. “I want to know if you’re with him. I want to know if you let him touch you. I want to know if you want him to touch you the way you used to want me to touch you.”
I push on his chest and try my best to keep my voice from shaking. “You’re an ass.”
“A week ago you told me you loved me and today you show up with that guy?” he asks, lowering his voice. It doesn’t matter how hard I push, I can’t get away from him because he’s got me pinned, wrapped up in his arms. One’s at the middle of my back and the other on my ass.
“Fuck you,” I whisper. “You don’t get to do this—you ended it with me,” I say, letting my body go slack and I feel my ire start to disintegrate as my tears form. I try and swallow it down at the same time I try to ignore how it feels to be wrapped up in him after so long.
“That was a mistake,” he says and when he does, my heart skips a beat. His hand at my back sneaks up into my hair at my scalp and he pulls, making my head tip. As soon as I look up, my tears spill. He leans down, his lips only a breath away from mine where he asks, “You miss my touch?”
“Stop,” I plead.
He squeezes my ass and pulls me to him at the same time he kisses the side of my mouth. To feel his goatee on my face after so long is a painful reminder of what I’ve been missing and why. But it kills me when he whispers, “You love me?”
“Please, Cam.”
“Please what?” he keeps on and his hands start moving on my body at the same time he presses his hips into my tummy. I feel his cock, long and hard through his shorts and I have to pull in a deep breath. His hand comes up to my breast where he cups me, his thumb and forefinger working together to tease, working my body into knots. He whispers demands against my lips, “Tell me, baby. Did he touch you?”
His touch, his lips, his body. He’s wiped the bitch clean out of me. I hate it, but I’m completely overwhelmed. “No. No one but you.”
He pulls his head back a bit so he can look at me. His blue eyes search my face before settling on my eyes and he says, “You’re right. No one but me.”
Then his lips are on mine, his tongue roaming my mouth. Tasting him again is a sweet agony. I can’t help my hands as they push his s
hirt up his back, touching his skin and feeling his muscles tense under my fingers is something I thought I’d never get again. I push further to get more of him, but he steps back and rips my shirt up, my arms going with it. He drops it to the floor, yanking his own off quickly before his fingers make work of the buttons on my shorts, yanking them down with my panties in one swoop.
I barely free one foot, my flip-flop getting caught on the other before I’m up and have to grasp onto his shoulders. I wrap my legs around his waist and he turns, putting a knee to the floor where we both come down. His mouth hits mine for a searing kiss and I feel my bra being yanked down on one side. He wraps his lips around my nipple, pulling me roughly into his mouth.
He leans up, breaking our kiss and I feel his hand come between my legs. I can’t help but pull them far apart for him and I hear him say, “You’re always ready for me.”
“Yes,” I breathe as he frees himself.
And, before I know it, he’s covered my body and slides into me with one hard push. I let out a moan, I can’t help it. He’s never felt so good. He feels more perfect than ever and I pull my knees up high to get every bit of him.
“Baby.” His voice is ragged in my ear as he moves fast and unrestrained inside me. “Fuck, I’ve missed you.”
“Cam,” I call for him. “Harder.”
But he doesn’t give me what I want. I feel his hand come between us and reach for my clit. He leans up and looks down our bodies, connected, him circling me with his thumb. And oh, I’ve missed this. Missed him, missed what he can do to me.
“Yes,” I breathe and can’t help but lift my hips to get more of him, wanton and needy. “Please Cam, I need more.”
He moves faster and with his thumb working me, it doesn’t take long. I come hard. I exhale and let it wrack my body. It’s been so long. I haven’t touched myself since we’ve been apart.
His mouth lands on mine, drinking my moans and he really starts to move. I wrap my legs around him to hang on and he slams into me faster—harder than ever. I get to hear Cam breathe, groan, and even pant. I never knew how much I missed those sounds. I arch my back pushing up as he grinds down, and I feel it, loving being connected to him after so long. He finally presses me hard into the floor where he finds his release.