by SJ McCoy
He hugged her to him. “Sorry. It was just when Skye mentioned her grandpa.”
She looked up into his eyes. “I don’t think he’s even going to come. We’ll probably be fine. Do you want to hang out if he doesn’t?”
“You know I do. If you’re free, you could come over to my place.” He nodded toward Skye who was singing to herself as she picked daisies and threw them in the air. “We could take her to the beach again.”
“I’d love that. And if you like, you can come look at the house with us. I mean, I’ve seen it before, but I want to take a look around and see what we’re going to need for when we move in.”
He smiled. “And we could walk from my place—you know, to see how long it takes.”
She laughed. “I bet it won’t even take two minutes.”
“I hope not.” He looked down into her eyes. “Is it wrong of me to say that I hope your dad doesn’t come? I get that you don’t want me to meet him. But I want to see you. And if he doesn’t come this weekend, you’ll still get to see him next weekend, right?”
Elle’s smile disappeared. “Oh, shit!”
“What?”
She blew out a sigh. “Damn. I was about to agree with you, that I hope he doesn’t come. You know I want to spend the weekend with you, too. But he can’t come next weekend. Not now.”
“Why not? What’s happening?”
She held his gaze for a moment. “I trust you, so I’m going to tell you. But you cannot breathe a word to anyone.” She gave him a wry smile. “And once you know who it’s about, you’ll understand why you can’t. You value your life more than that.”
He gave her a puzzled look. “I don’t understand.”
“Well, there’s no way Dad can come next weekend, because …” She hesitated, but only for a moment. “Cal’s having people over to his new place.” She clasped her hands together and grinned. “Because he’s going to propose to my mom.”
“Oh, wow! That’s awesome. Your mom’s an amazing lady and Cal …” He chuckled. “Sure, he’s a bit scary, but he’s a great guy.”
“He is. He’s wonderful. They’re perfect for each other and …” Her smile disappeared again. “There’s no way I’m going to let him spoil their day.”
“Then I guess I’m back to hoping that he comes this weekend.”
“Yeah. I mean, I hate to think … If he shows up. Cal’s going to be pissed, and I don’t blame him.” She looked up at him. “What do you think I should do?”
“I don’t know, sweetie. What do you see as your options?” He wanted to be able to help her out, but he wasn’t sure what she was thinking and he sure as hell wasn’t going to start telling her what to do.
“I could call Dad again—Steve. I told myself I was just going to call him Steve from now on. He doesn’t act like a real dad anyway. Cal’s better at it than he ever was, and I’ve only known Cal for a few months.”
“You could do that. Call him and see if he’s planning to come. And I guess you could tell him that you have other plans next weekend. You don’t have to tell him what. In fact, you can tell him—you’re moving, so it’s not the ideal time to visit anyway.”
She gave him a grateful smile. “Exactly! I’m moving so he can’t come. It’s either this weekend or—honestly? He can wait until I tell him. I’m sick of him messing everyone around. I’m not going to let him spoil anything. Mom’s happy. I’m not going to let him spoil that. Cal makes her happy—and I don’t want Steve getting in the way of that. Cal doesn’t think much of him as it is. I don’t like his chances if he shows up and upsets Mom.”
Donovan didn’t either.
“What if he says he’s going to come anyway? He’s like that. He’ll do what suits him and screw everyone else. What should I do?”
He shook his head. “Do you think you need to talk to Cal about the possibility that he might show up?”
“No! I saw him today and he’s so happy. I don’t want to cast a shadow over that by having him spend the whole week wondering what’s going to happen. Would you ask Ryan or Manny what they think?”
He cocked his head to one side, not sure he understood.
“They know him better than anyone. They’ll know what do. I mean maybe I should say I’ll go to see Steve, just to keep him away.”
“I don’t think that’d work. If he’s inviting a bunch of people over to be there when he proposes, I’m sure Cal will want you and Skye to be there—you two are the most important.”
She blew out a sigh. “Of course. Sorry. You’re right. I’m being stupid. I’m just panicking. I don’t want to be the reason it gets messed up.”
He put his arm around her and hugged her into his side. “You won’t be. It’ll all work out okay. You’ll see. And even if the worst happened and he showed up, it wouldn’t be your fault—it’d be his.”
“I know that. But I’d feel awful. Will you ask Ryan or Manny what they think?”
He nodded slowly. He didn’t relish the idea. He wasn’t even sure what she thought they might be able to say or do, but there was no way he’d tell her no. “I think Manny’s out of the office tomorrow, but I’ll talk to Ryan, okay?”
“Thanks.” She looked over at Skye who was now lying on her back in the grass looking up at the sky. “Would you keep an eye on her for a minute while I give Steve a call? Maybe he’ll say he’s coming tomorrow and then there’ll be nothing to worry about.”
“Of course. But I don’t think you should worry too much anyway. It’ll all work out.”
She made a face as she pulled her phone out of her pocket. “You don’t know Steve.”
Chapter Fifteen
When Elle opened her eyes on Friday morning it was still dark. Donovan was still there. She turned on her side to look at him and was surprised when his arm came around her, drawing her closer. He dropped a kiss on her lips and murmured, “Good morning, sweetie.”
She snuggled into his warm chest. “It is a good morning; waking up with you like this.”
He stroked her hair, making her want to melt into him. It wasn’t even that it turned her on—it did—but it was more than that. It felt intimate in a way she wasn’t used to. It felt like he cared about her, like they were close in a way that went way deeper than just sex.
“It’s the best morning ever, if you ask me.”
She wrapped her arm around him. “You say the nicest things.”
He tucked his fingers under her chin and made her look up at him. Even in the darkness she could see the way his eyes shone. She hadn’t ever seen that look in a man’s eyes before—at least, not directed at her. She sucked in a deep breath when she realized that he was looking at her the way that Cal looked at her mom. A shiver ran down her spine. She’d love to think that he might feel that way, but she knew better than that. Guys didn’t see her that way. She was fun, she was attractive, and she enjoyed sex. She wasn’t someone who …
“I’ve told you before, Elle. I won’t tell you things that aren’t true. This is the best morning of my life so far. And in case I’m not making myself clear enough; it’s the best morning because I’m waking up in bed with you.”
She ran her hand down over his abs and touched him. He was already hot and hard. She curled her fingers around him. “Do you want to make it even better?”
He surprised the hell out of her when he shifted his hips away and caught her hand, bringing it up to his lips to kiss it. “It’s not about that, Elle.” He smiled. “I’m not saying no. But I need you to understand something first. I need you to understand that it’s not about the sex. Don’t get me wrong. I love it. We’re great together. But it’s so much more than that. It’s about you being who you are, and me loving you.”
Her head snapped back so that she could look into his eyes. “What?”
He dropped a kiss on her lips. “You heard me. I know it’s way too soon to go there. But I thought I should give you fair warning. You’ve already heard me tell Skye that I love her—and I do. Now, you need to know that I
love you. I’m not trying to rush anything or force anything. But I’d like you to get used the idea. I’m not asking you to say it back. I don’t think I’d believe it if you did. You don’t know. You haven’t even been thinking about us that way. But I am. It’s okay if you decide you don’t want me. I’ll survive. But I need you to know that I’ve fallen for you. And if you decide that you do want me, I’d like to make us last forever.”
Her heart was hammering in chest. It felt as though it was trying to beat its way out of there. She looked up into his eyes. Unable to form words.
He dropped a kiss on her lips. The lines around his eyes were etched with sadness. “Of course, if I just went too fast and blew it, can we forget that I said any of that? Pretend you had a bad dream where this Donovan guy lost the plot and started asking too much of you?”
She shook her head slowly. Her brain was finally kicking in. “No.”
The creases around his eyes deepened. “No?”
“I can’t forget you said it. I did think I was dreaming for a minute there.”
He gave her a sad smile. “Worst nightmare come true?”
She chuckled. “No! I’m saying, you’re all my dreams come true, Donovan. You’re amazing. But you’re way too good for me.”
“Hey!” He scowled at her. “Don’t say that. Nothing is too good for you, Elle Crandall. You’re amazing. You’re beautiful and kind and fun and sweet. You’re such a great mom, and such a great daughter. You’re … everything.”
She swallowed. “Is that really how you see me?”
“It’s not just how I see you. It’s how you are. You know it.” He looked puzzled. “Don’t you? I mean you saying that I’m too good for you—that’s just a nice way of saying that you’re not interested but you don’t want me to feel bad, right?”
She let out a short laugh. “Seriously? That’s what you think? Or are you bullshitting me?”
“I’m deadly serious. You’re trying to let me down gently, right? Because I went too fast.”
Wow. He really thought that was it. She cupped his cheek in her hand and kissed his full beautiful lips. “Maybe you’re not quite so smart as I thought you were then, Donovan Harper.”
He still looked like he was in pain, but a tiny light of hope shone in his eyes. “What did I miss?”
She kissed him again before leaning back to look into his big brown eyes. “You missed me saying that you’re all my dreams come true. I mean that. And I also mean that you’re too good for me. It’s not some kind of letdown. It’s the truth. You’re gorgeous. You’re … I’ve told you all this before. You’re smart, and successful and hot, but more than that, you’re such a decent guy. I’m not saying that I’m not a decent person. But I lived a shitty life for a while there. I’ve been with some pretty shitty people. I should have been better than I was. I let Tristan drag me and Skye into a bad life. You’re better than that.”
He nodded slowly. “I am better than that. I would never …” He shook his head and looked away. “You haven’t said much, but I’ve pieced things together, and from Skye, too.”
Her heart sank. She knew he must think she was awful.
“Elle, I don’t see you as being a bad person for what you lived through. I see you as a strong person for surviving it and for coming home.”
He meant it. She could see it in his eyes.
“I’m no better than you. I don’t like it when you say I’m too good for you. I didn’t like it when I thought it was just a letdown. I like it even less now that I know that you think it’s true. It isn’t. I think we’re the same you and me. We have the same values. We see life the same way. We’re good, decent, straightforward people. You might have gone down a bad road for a while. But I don’t think any less of you for it. I’m just asking you if you want to come back to the path you were supposed to be on—if you want to walk it beside me?”
She sucked in a deep breath and let it out slowly as tears filled her eyes. “I wish I’d met you sooner.”
He closed his eyes.
“No! I’m not saying no! I’m saying yes. I want to try this. I want to make this work. I just wish that I’d met you before I went wrong. I’ll be honest. I’ve thought that a lot. Seeing you with Skye makes me wish that I’d met you sooner, makes me wish that we’d … that she was …” She could hardly tell him that she wished he were the father of her child, could she? Maybe she should. Now that her brain was finally getting past all its hang ups and catching up with itself, it was registering the fact that he’d started all this by telling her that he loved her! He loved her?
She smiled at him. “I’ve watched you with Skye and wished that you were her dad. Because she loves you. And I love you, too!” There, she’d said it. It was crazy but it was true. She’d said it before, to the wrong guy, even though she’d known it wasn’t true. Now, she had to say it to the right guy because it was true.
He propped himself up on one elbow and looked down into her eyes. “You don’t need to say it if ...”
“But I mean it, Donovan.” She touched his cheek. “I know it’s crazy. But it’s true. Part of me wants to think that I’m just getting carried away, or that you’re just saying it to make me feel good. But that’s just … I don’t even know what it is, the voice of fear? The voice of judgy people who think that they know what an acceptable timeframe is? The voice of the version of me who’s down on herself because she knows she messed up by getting involved with Tristan and thinks I should be more cautious. But another part of me—the better part of me, the woman I want to be? She knows that it’s true. That part of me knows that I love you and believes that you love me too. That it can be this fast and this good.” She traced her finger over his dimple and smiled back at him.
“It doesn’t even feel crazy to me, Elle. I know it’s fast, but it’s right. I’ve told you a bit about how my life has been—about my parents and how my sister raised me. I’ve always wanted to build a good life for myself.” He smiled. “In fact, I told Brayden that within five minutes of meeting you—that I want to build a life with a solid foundation and I want to share it with someone.”
Elle frowned, wondering if that meant that he just wanted to slot her into a spot in the life he’d mapped out for himself.
He shook his head, seeming to read her thoughts. “That sounded wrong, but only because I didn’t tell you that I was staring at you when I said it.”
She looked into his eyes.
He chuckled. “Okay, I’ll admit it. From the moment I first laid eyes on you, I thought I wanted to make you part of my life. With every day that’s gone by since, that feeling has grown stronger. The more I get to know you, the more right this feels.” He dropped a kiss on her lips. “I know words aren’t enough, it’ll take actions over time to prove the way I feel about you, but I do love you.”
She reached her arms up around his neck and pulled him down to her. “I trust your words, Donovan. But show me. Make love to me.”
He held her gaze as he lowered his lips to hers. Neither words nor actions could have told her more clearly than his eyes were telling her right now. “I love you, too,” she breathed in the moment before his lips came down on hers.
Without breaking the kiss, he positioned himself above her, spreading her legs and sliding his hand between them, caressing her, teasing her open, making her moan into his mouth. Then his hand was gone, and he was hot and hard, dipping just inside her, sending ripples of heat washing over her. She wanted to thrust her hips up, to take him and ride away with him. But this was different. She relaxed into the kiss, into the feel of him—the feel of them. She felt more connected to him than she’d ever felt to anyone, and he hadn’t even made the connection yet. It was about more than that, though. The physical connection was only a small part of it.
He slid his arm underneath her and lifted his head to look down into her eyes. She nodded and let out a gasp as he thrust his hips and drove deep. He held her gaze as they moved together slowly at first. She felt as though she might
come apart in the intensity of it. Yes, he felt so good as he moved inside her, but the connection between their eyes was deeper, more intimate even than that. She’d thought she knew how the physical part worked, but as Donovan made love to her, she understood that until now she hadn’t had a clue.
She reached her arms up to him, he was still moving slowly, determinedly, each thrust threatening to send her over the edge, but never allowing the fall. She needed him to finish her. He shook his head with a smile.
“This is killing me, too, sweetie. I want to finish us off. But I want to make this last.”
She bit down on her bottom lip and nodded. He was right. She never wanted this to end. Mini orgasms were rippling through her with every thrust of his hips. She felt like she was melting around him and they were becoming one.
She closed her hands around his ass. “I want this to last, Donovan. I want us to last. Forever.”
“Forever,” he agreed as he let himself go, driving hard and fast, over and over, sweeping her away until he pushed them both over the edge.
“Donovan!” She gasped his name as she soared away on a wave of pleasure.
He tensed and joined her, their bodies frantically moving together as they melded into one.
He slumped down on her and she closed her arms around him as they recovered, both breathing hard.
He turned his head and pressed a kiss into her neck, sending aftershocks racing through her.
She hugged him tighter.
“When I said it’s going to take more than words to show you that I love you. I meant that I’ll show you by the way I treat you. I didn’t mean this.”
She chuckled. “I know. But I don’t think anything you do could put it any better than that, do you? There’s a reason they call it making love.” Her smile faded. “And now, for the first time, I understand it.”
He shook his head and looked down into her eyes. “Me, too. For the very first time.”
Her mind automatically assumed that he was just saying the right words again. But the look on his face set her straight. He meant it. He was as blown away as she was.