by Gina Carra
Demeter lays a hand on his head. It’s not forgiveness. It’s understanding. There’s a rift between them now and they both know Demeter will never truly forgive this, fated or not.
Demeter walks away without another word. Eros lets him go. He thinks about Demeter’s words, they echo through his mind. He never stuck around to see what happened after his arrows. He never thought about…what could go wrong.
Eros’s job consisted of one simple idea: bringing people peace by bringing them together. He has long been dealing in the realms of love and has been witness to people becoming stronger versions of themselves when they have someone beside them. He’s seen people crushed in despair find hope in the eyes of another.
He thinks of the pain his arrows have caused and he thinks of Hades.
It was only natural Eros had become obsessed with Hades. Her time limit didn’t give Eros many chances to get to know the elusive Lord. Hades also had a fairly tight schedule while she was topside, and it usually involved asking Eros to leave her alone in a voice that sounded like despair itself.
Eros didn’t like to think of himself as pushy but…he had to try. He had a terrible, wonderful idea in place that he was just itching to try.
A year into their not-friendship, Eros let loose the first arrow.
Eros stayed around to watch Hades speak to the human. Eros had found the human girl and deemed her perfect. She had bright eyes, a wide smile, and more importantly she was able to forgive nearly anything. You know, like maybe that the person she was speaking to was the Lord of the Underworld.
The effects of the arrow faded within the day leaving Eros shocked.
He’d heard Hades’s laugh. He’d seen her smile. He’d felt happiness radiate from her and after only a few hours it had evaporated. Hades said her goodbyes to the girl and walked off to complete her errands.
Eros walked beside her.
As Hades spotted him, she sighed.
Eros spoke quickly, “What just happened? How did you do that?”
Hades quirked an eyebrow. “What, have you never spoken to a human? I’ve heard you’ve slept with most of them. I assumed you’d made time to talk.”
Eros would’ve been offended if he hadn’t learned to recognize Hades’s chiding by now. Against her will, she’d allowed Eros to befriend her. Mostly because no one else would talk to her on Earth.
Eros pressed for more information, “Didn’t you love her?”
Hades’s laugh was sad. “Love grows. I kill.” She met Eros’s eyes knowingly. Hades had already told him how ridiculous it was for the two of them to be friends. They didn’t need to have that argument again. “Why don’t you go gossip with Helios?”
Eros scoffed. “I hate spending full moon days with Helios. He gets all jealous and bitter.”
Hades eyed him. “How is that different than any other day?”
Eros pushed her.
They walked together for the rest of the day until the shadows got longer and Hades’s time ran out.
Five years later Eros shot a second arrow…
...while Hades’s eyes stared into his own.
A tear trails down Eros’s cheek.
He knows firsthand the despair his arrows can cause.
Souls
Persephone finds herself speaking to the river a lot. She’s not sure if she’s talking to herself or hoping Styx will appear and make her feel less crazy.
She wonders why Styx won’t appear to her. She knows gods and goddess well enough by now and assumes Styx is testing her somehow. She doesn’t know how to pass it, so she just sighs and watches the river.
She finds it less intimidating now that she’s really looked at it. She even finds herself recognizing people she helped while they were living.
That’s how Hades finds her, smiling at the River Styx.
Hades blinks. Persephone shines. She doesn’t know how to put it into words. Something about her…it’s like her soul is her entire being and not just one part of her. Most of the time people are separate from their soul, reluctant to accept or know themselves, but Persephone…
Persephone is completely in touch with every piece of herself and she fully loves all of it. It takes Hades’s breath away, arrow or not. There’s one spot of darkness though, within the colorful spectrum of her energy. It’s something Hades has noticed before, something Persephone doesn’t seem to be aware of. The goddess had caught Hades’s attention years ago, when she was running errands. She intentionally didn’t tell Eros about it, yet Eros seemed to know anyway.
Hades never wanted to talk to Persephone. She didn’t want to risk corrupting and darkening something, someone, so beautiful. Like art in a museum, you can look but you can’t touch. Being around Persephone for so long has been practically intoxicating and the arrow made it doubly affecting.
Persephone notices Hades staring again. Hades makes note of that small frown. Hades can’t help it though. She can’t not stare. She’d been trying not to.
Persephone turns back to the river and speaks. Hades realizes Persephone’s speaking to her. “I know some of them. I helped them.”
Hades takes a small step forward. When Persephone doesn’t stop her, she continues walking until she’s beside Persephone on the bridge.
Persephone keeps speaking, pointing at souls that pass below them. “Tanah, I helped her pick a bouquet for her sick mother. There were some flowers that would help the illness. Local flower shops wouldn’t exactly sell such a rare plant. She ‘found’ some seeds I left for her on a fountain in the town plaza and she planted them at home. Her mother got better.”
Hades struggles to keep her eyes on the soul Persephone speaks about and not the way Persephone’s soul is shining as she talks about her passion.
The stream flows under them and Persephone watches, eyes catching on another soul. “Jaela. Her husband cheated on her. They were monogamous, which is…so strange and human, but they swore loyalty to each other which is what mattered to me. I don’t usually like helping in those situations. They tend to put together all the wrong bouquets when I don’t help. It completely sets the wrong tone and the air gets foggier between the two from the clashing energy of the wrong flowers. I get to watch the scorned lover get even angrier. So, I guess in a way I do help.” Persephone smiles to herself, smug and righteous as she remembers all the times she refused to help someone whose intentions were impure. She loves to imbue her power into a bouquet, loves how the right flowers can make an intention so crisp and clear. She takes pride in invisibly guiding a human’s hand to choose correctly “But Cue told me they were fated, and he needed to earn her forgiveness. Turns out, he’d been assaulted with a spell. He didn’t cheat on his wife. He was attacked. She comforted him and helped him regain himself after that trauma. Heliotrope flowers.”
Hades interrupts, “Eternal love.”
Persephone nods, glancing briefly at Hades, “I heard they still swim together in the River Styx…but I don’t see him.”
Hades nods. “He’s moved on to Elysium. She’s still angry at herself for not believing him.”
Persephone’s eyes widen. “What? But…they have to be together. Cue said…”
Hades shrugs. “She needs to accept her error and move on.”
Persephone seems angry. “He left her here? Alone?”
Hades notices Persephone's attention is on her, so she turns to face her. “He didn’t leave her. He found his peace and Elysium called to him. You don’t…thinking doesn’t work the same when you’re just your soul. He didn’t leave her. His soul was called to move on. He’s waiting for her, I assure you.”
Persephone’s brow is furrowed. A deep curiosity blooms in her. “Have you spoken to him? Since he reached Elysium?”
Hades tugs her eyes away from Persephone. “Of course I haven’t.”
Persephone tucks the flower behind her ear, frowning. “Why not?”
Hades rolls her eyes and turns to face Persephone again. “I can’t go to Ely—wait, what?” Hades’
s eyes are on the flower. “Persephone…where did you get that?”
Persephone grabs the flower again. “You left it for me, I thought.”
Hades’s brow furrows. “That was a full day ago.”
Persephone shrugs. “So?”
Hades shakes her head. “I’m the god of death. Nothing I create to resemble life lasts very long.”
The flower glows as if to spite her words. Persephone twirls it. “…You’re saying I’m keeping this alive?”
Hades huffs out a breath, confused. “I mean, I can only assume.”
Persephone holds her flower and stares back out at the river. She has a theory, but she doesn’t speak it. Instead, it makes her curious about something else. “So you know every soul in this river? And every soul in Elysium?”
Hades shrugs. “I don’t know them all equally well, but yes.”
Persephone is hesitant to say it but desperate to know. “Is my sister here?”
Hades turns to her in shock. She can feel the fear and worry radiating from Persephone. It’s a strange fear that’s both quiet and loud. It screams and whispers, emanating from that dark spot within her.
Hades practically stutters, “I didn’t know you had—”
“Not everyone is as famous as you and your siblings.” Persephone cuts Hades off so sharply that it leaves Hades staggered. She’s never seen Persephone’s eyes so cold.
Hades resists the urge to reach out. With anyone else, she would’ve answered her own question by reading a person, but she can’t bring herself to touch Persephone without permission. She waits—very impatiently—but she waits.
Persephone shakes her head. “I don’t tell anyone about her. I’m not going to tell you.”
Hades curls her hand into a fist. She’s never not known something like that and it’s so enticing. “I can’t help you if you don’t give me a name or a description. Is she actually your sister or is it like how Demeter is practically your dad?”
Persephone answers like a broken record. “Demeter’s not my dad.” Her voice quiets. “And yeah, she’s my sister.” Her breath sounds shallow and shaky. Hades can see her hands gripping the rail of the bridge so tightly her knuckles turn white. “Her name was Autumn.”
Hades chews her lips. She’s not sure what the situation was, but she knows she has to tread lightly. “I’ve seen a few Autumns pass through.”
Persephone sighs heavily. “Never mind, this was stupid. She’s not here.”
Persephone pushes away from the rail and walks down the bank of the river. Hades wants to follow, but she doesn’t.
✽✽✽
Under the shade of a tree, a quiet sobbing emits.
The sunlight can’t reach it.
The sunlight dances on the water in the distance but goes unnoticed.
The sunlight tries to shine through the leaves but can’t make it through the layers of foliage.
Just on the edge of the shade, a blade of grass catches fire.
Eros stares at it from under the tree, tears covering his cheeks. “Go away, Helios.”
A flower catches fire on the edge of the shade. “Persephone would kill you for that.”
Eros can hear a low whine.
Eros sighs loudly and crawls to the edge of the shade. He sticks his hand out into the sunlight and it’s only a moment before Helios’s fingers are entwined with his own. Eros shakes him off and crawls back to lean against the tree.
Helios frowns. “Why are you avoiding me?”
Eros curls into himself. “Like I can avoid you. You’re everywhere.”
Helios stares at him. “You know I can only get here when someone calls for me.”
Eros shrugs. “You could’ve answered someone else’s call.”
The sunlight tickles Helios’s skin. He likes how it feels to be present beneath it, so he doesn’t join Eros in the shade. He assumes that’s why Eros is under the tree to start with.
Helios changes the topic. “You were very brave with Demeter.”
A tear falls from Eros’s eyes and his sobs seem to renew, his voice rough, “I don’t want to talk about that.”
Helios takes a breath before moving into the shade. He curls around Eros, pulling the man against him. Eros resists. He doesn’t want this right now. This is exactly what he was avoiding. “Tell me what you’re thinking, Cue.”
Eros lasts only a while longer before he gives into the embrace of his closest friend. He wraps his arms around Helios. “Can love be evil?”
Eros can feel Helios’s small intake of breath at the question.
He pushes on before Helios can answer. “You’ve seen everything. You would know better than anyone. How much pain do my arrows cause?”
Helios runs a hand through Eros’s hair. “It’s not like that, Cue. You give them something to come back to when life gets hard.”
Eros laughs harshly. “You’re avoiding directly answering the question. I know you like your ‘yes’ or ‘no’ answers.”
“Yes, Cue. Love can be evil.” It’s silent for a beat. Helios can practically feel Eros crumbling in his embrace. “Love can tear us apart, it can drive us crazy, it can make us do things we would normally never do. It’s also the single most beautiful thing in the entire world. People risk their lives for love, they change for love, they become better people, Cue. You do that. You make this world beautiful. Love is complicated, but at the end of the day it’s beautiful.”
Eros is gripping Helios tightly. His fingernails are digging into Helios’s back, but Helios doesn’t complain. Eros’s voice is a whisper, “Can I tell you something?” Helios hums. “I’m scared of it.”
Helios presses his lips to Eros’s forehead. “I know you are.”
Eros pulls back, staring at Helios with wide eyes. “What do you mean, you know?”
Helios’s eyes are warm and soft—they hold a deep understanding—but his lips are curved into a frown. “You go from town to town looking to complete people’s lives. You have this power people would literally kill for. And they have. You can cause anyone to feel love for anyone else and you have never once turned an arrow on yourself.” Eros opens his mouth to protest weakly, but Helios cuts him off. “You knew that one would fade, Cue. It didn’t affect you at all.”
Eros frowns. “It didn’t fade.”
Helios sighs. “Because she loves you. But you’ve known it wasn’t that kind of love. You weren’t at risk of falling in love with her.”
Eros groans. The memories hurt. “How do you know so much? You can’t hear thoughts.”
Helios smiles, small and sweet. “I don’t need to hear thoughts to know what you’re thinking, Cue.”
Coughs tumble from Eros’s lips as sobs tear through him. He tries to quiet them. Helios holds him through it. Eros can tell already, but he asks Helios with pain laced into his words, “How much do you know, Sol?” He sits back up, wanting to look into Helios’s eyes as he waits for the answer. There’s fear in his heart but a quiet hope sits beside it.
Helios grabs Eros’s hand and presses a kiss to it. “I can wait, Cue. You know where I am. I’m a pretty easy target and I can’t keep my eyes off of you.”
Eros dives back into his embrace. They sit under the tree for hours. It’s still not the time to say it out loud, but the words float between them—a silent promise.
Sir
Persephone stares at the bed, frowning.
Hades is in the doorway. “...Is the bed offending you somehow?”
Persephone has started picking up on Hades’s humor by now, so she shrugs. “Yeah, I think it’s staring at me.”
Hades sighs. “I don’t have anything else to offer you.”
Persephone chews on her lip without turning to face Hades. “I didn’t ask you to give up your bed.” There are quite a few differences between Earthbound gods and those on Olympus…and Hades in the Underworld. The Earthbound gods can sometimes seem practically human. They have a pulse, they need to breathe, they need to eat and sleep. They won’t die if th
ey don’t, but it’s heavily uncomfortable to not take care of themselves.
Hades rolls her eyes and pulls the door closed behind her as she leaves the room. “Goodnight, Persephone.” She doesn’t wait for Persephone to reply.
Hades wanders the banks of the River Styx, hands in her pockets. No, she doesn’t need sleep but sometimes she gets bored and it passes the time. Though she was looking forward to sleeping now that the arrow’s effects had returned. If these arrows had done nothing else, they made her fall in love with dreaming. It was dangerous. It brought her to places she couldn’t go.
And then she’d wake up alone.
She wanders until she reaches a familiar spot. She hates it here, but she always returns. She kicks off her shoes and steps closer to where the water laps over the ground. She recites a quiet prayer to Styx, but it always sounds more like an apology.
Hades steps into the water.
It never gets easier. She bites back her scream. She usually allows herself to submit to it and yell her lungs out, but she doesn't want to wake Persephone.
Just like the rest of the souls in the river, she feels the stream inflict on her all the pain she’s caused. She feels every painful war wound, every slow descent from illness. She feels the power drain from a goddess.
She steps out, panting. Tears had torn from her eyes and she wipes them away with the back of her hand.
She collapses on the bank of the river, staring at souls as they pass by. She tries to catch her breath as tears flow freely from her eyes. She could never stand in the river for more than a few seconds. It was too much, but she would never end up as a soul within it. She's a god. She can't die.
Though she knows her brothers would never experience the River Styx either, she feels it’s only fair to share in the suffering every now and then. Justice. Just like everyone else got. Only she could never move on.
She wanders the banks in silence, shoes in her hand.
✽✽✽
Hermes bows deeply to Zeus. In all honesty, he hates Zeus, but he’s still Hermes’s boss. “Sir.”