'You will cease any investigation into what my daughter allegedly did or didn't know. If you don't, then you will be made to fucking suffer. Understood?' The rage was back. This time it was cold, his voice practically a monotone. It did nothing for my delicate constitution.
Still hoping to keep things calm, I tried something bouncers like to refer to as 'passing the baton,' 'Sir, I'm afraid that's above my pay scale. You'll have to speak to my superiors.'
'I am your superior, you lowborn lesbian bitch!' He hissed the words out, choking on them. 'You will fucking obey me or face me on the field!' And there it was. He had just pissed all over my social status, my sexual orientation, and threatened my life. Things had just got a whole lot worse for the both of us.
Giving it a few seconds before I replied, I left him to stew, probably to think he'd won. He hadn't, he'd Marked himself by illegally threatening an Agent and trying to pervert the execution of a Mark. Heady sentences but, unfortunately, ones I couldn't just pass over to Merlins or other Agents to execute as it was my Mark.
'Are you even listening to me?' Wrapped up in my thoughts, I'd let the silence drag out longer than I had intended. I took a deep breath, our visit to John was going to have to wait a little longer.
'Yes, you sanctimonious minor-House prick. I'm listening.' Dawn's jaw dropped at that, her eyes so wide I thought they'd pop out of their sockets. 'I'm listening to you trying to pervert the execution of a Mark and threatening the life of an Agent whilst she's trying to execute the Mark. As such you, and any who aid or abet you, are now Marked. See you soon.'
Pressing End Call, I didn't give him a chance to respond. It was petty, but it felt good. No bookie would offer odds on the number of times that someone from outside of the Merlins did that.
'What just happened?' asked Dawn, lips pursed in a frown this time. 'Christine Smith's father just tried to stop us digging into what she knew. Call it a leap of faith, but I'm going to say that there's every chance that her father knew what was going on. In fact, I bet it was him that let on about Steve's Compulsion.'
'No way! You're thinking that daddy was involved, couldn't keep his lips sealed, or Christine was being a nosy bitch. Someone heard her in the Book Cover. It's not as if she was being discrete. Words were said, rumours spread, and whoever her father was working with sent a message.' Dawn had summed it up perfectly.
'And so, a child suffers for the sins of her father. We're going to have to deal with this now, John will have to wait. I'll drop him a text, he'll know about her death, and with the conversation that I've just had, he'll be more than happy to see her father taken down,' I said.
'We going to get paid for that then?'
'Yes, John will make the arrangements. Might even get a new Porsche for this.'
'That much? Bloody hell, what are we waiting for? Let's go get the bastard!' She was like a bloodhound on the trail. It was impressive. Scenting a massive payday, as well as the chance to take down a House was as good as a day's rest for her. She was champing at the bit, whilst I was wishing I could hit the hay with every fibre of my being.
'Oh, to be young again,' I moaned whilst rolling my eyes.
'Ha, you're not much older than me. Unless you're one of those ancient Magic users?' Dawn said dramatically, using a stage whisper.
'No such luck. Right now, I'm the correct age for the way I look. As are you.'
'Flattery will still get you nowhere,' she laughed, fluttering her eyelids at me.
'I know, but I still hold out hope!' And we laughed, but a lump still formed in my throat. Why did I have to fall for someone who was straighter than a bloody ruler, and who was also my apprentice.
It's hard to form attachments when your job consists of killing people and taking on the world's worst monsters. Some of whom were also people.
'Okay, we're going to have a chat with him, see what he has to say for himself. Get the Quick Cuff and the Mage Hood. Whatever he says, we're going to have to arrest him.'
'Jesus,' said Dawn as she rubbed her hands on her trousers. 'I'm getting all hot and bothered just thinking about it!'
She was right to be, this would be a Mark that would make her name. Unfortunately, there were two sides to that. The first would be that she had taken down someone such as Smith. The second was she had taken down someone such as Smith, which would mark her card in some parts of our society. The latter concern had some benefits, in that her reputation for being a Wyldling with no concern for our social moirés would allow her to push boundaries and cut through any doors that people tried to close on her. Society would be wary of her knowing that she did such a thing.
'Hold your horses. First things first, you need to clean your weapon, load up a few more magazines, and we need food. We'll make the bastard sweat for a bit, take our time,' I smirked.
'Ha, love it. He might even think that we've bottled it. Shit himself for a bit, then calm down and get all superior and think he's got on over the gobby lowborn Agent.' She cackled at the thought of anyone getting anything over us.
Judging by the look on the butler's face, it was clear that he hadn't been expecting company. Somewhat slack jawed at the badge I shoved I his face, his skin gradually lost its dark brown complexion to be replaced by more green hue.
Treemen are like that. Very emotional, despite their reputation for taking a long time to think things over.
A couple of other servants, Fauns, stood in the background, grey business jackets and waistcoats hiding knives and pistols no doubt.
'Are you going to let us in or not?' I asked after nearly a minute's worth of silence and indecision on the butler's behalf.
'The master did not tell me to expect guests. This is unexpected.' English was clearly not the butler's first language. His brows drew together, a strangely captivating experience as the bark of his face moved. It was simultaneously far too solid to be skin, and far too mobile to be bark.
'Tough titties. I'm an Agent, on a Mark, and I need you to step aside so I can enter.'
'Do you have a warrant?'
'No, I don't have a fucking warrant. I'm not some Mundane copper, I'm an Agent. Get out of the way before I add you to the list.'
'Yeah, make like a tree and leaf,' said my apprentice.
If I could have face-palmed at that moment I would. Dawn had managed to say probably the most insensitive and racist thing she ever could to a Treeman. Even as he opened his mouth to retort, I was speaking.
'I sincerely apologise for my assistant's unthinking and unfounded remark. I assure you that, as a Wyldling, she had absolutely no idea of the grave offence she has just given you. She will be firmly educated in this and suffer a stiff punishment once we have returned to our abode. Apologise, girl. Now.'
The look I have her could probably have killed a pack of chavs at fifty yards. The look she gave me was that of a puppy being punished.
This time, I wasn't going to relent. Her cockiness had taken a delicate situation and escalated it far beyond anything necessary. Little did she know, but she could well have incurred a Blood Feud with the butler. I decided to drop a hint. 'Being so new to our world, she did not know her words would be grounds for a Blood Feud.'
Dawn's eyes widened at that, the penny finally dropping. Amongst some of the Magical races, Blood Feuds were taken very seriously. Deadly seriously.
'Most certainly,’ she said. ‘I misspoke, for I didn't mean to offend beyond a little banter. My eagerness to proceed with our job blinded me to the insensitivity of my words. Please, accept my wholehearted and heartfelt apology.' I was impressed by her eloquence, which I shouldn't have been since I knew just how bright she was.
Silence fell again as the butler considered this. Whilst he was mulling things over, I marvelled at the strange choice of having him as a butler. I suspected the housekeeper most likely kept things moving.
'Apology accepted. Please enter and wait in the hall.' His whole
attitude, however, indicated otherwise. Still, he'd said it was accepted, so unless Dawn put her other foot in it, we were in the clear.
I didn't sag in relief, but it was close. A feud with a Treeman and his Copse could have lasted years. I was unsure as to whether Dawn would have survived the first fight as well.
Smiling my thanks, I stepped through the Wards and into the main hall, shivering slightly as numerous Spells washed over me. The Fauns still hadn't moved. They were consummate hunters, able to stand still for hours on end and spring into immediate action. Right now, the only thing moving on them was their eyes as they tracked our progress into the hall.
I had to admit, Smith's house was impressive without being gauche. Some Merlins appear to feel that they must be surrounded by ostentatious signs of their wealth and status to remind others of their power and status, no matter how tangible those truly were.
Smith's house interior was thoroughly modern in appearance. Lots of clean lines, new furniture, and the odd incredibly expensive ornament dotted around Ikea shelving and tables. Probably all called Fuck-u, or Bowdown, knowing him. The way he had spoken to me let me know all I needed to about his views on the haves and have-nots of this world.
There were no chairs in the hall, meaning that we would be forced to stand whilst writing for Smith to arrive, and there wasn't a chance in hell he would come skipping down the stairs anytime soon. Making people wait was a power play. A petty power play but with those easily cowed it was effective.
Well, I'm not easily cowed, I thought as I tapped the butler on a barky shoulder.
'Bring us chairs whilst we wait. And some refreshments.' Normally, I would say please and thank you but being polite wasn't going to get me anywhere in this household.
'We have no chairs,' the butler said, skin darkening. Tree people were appalling poker players. Firstly, they took too long to play their cards. Secondly, they were incapable of concealing their emotions.
'That's fine, we'll just lie down here on this lovely Axminster carpet. Wake us when your master decides to grade us with his presence.' Not waiting for a reply, I laid down on the carpet with a loud, 'Aaaaahhhhhh,' of satisfaction and close my eyes.
Dawn quickly followed my example, being even more effusive in her relaxation than I was. Some of mine wasn't fake. It felt wonderful to just lie down and not worry about things whilst knowing that our exhibition of truly not giving a fuck was going to severely piss off Smith.
I'd bet anything he'll be down those stairs or appear from a room within the next two minutes, I thought, trying hard not to smile.
Beside me Dawn gave a little snore. She could fall asleep at the drop of a hat and, given that we currently weren't facing mortal danger, had promptly done so.
Stifling a giggle at the butler's annoyed, 'Harrumph,' I let my mind drift over the events of the past couple of days. The power vacuum I'd created by destroying the Wererats was one I was sure was going to have repercussions along the line.
Whenever a gap was created, nature tried to fill it. I just wasn't sure what nature had in mind, but my gut told me it wasn't going to be a group of cherubic nuns with a passion for singing competitions.
'Ah, Agent Doe, sincere apologies for the wait. I had business to attend to.' If the tone of his voice was anything to go by, the only thing he sincerely meant to say was 'go fuck yourself you utter pleb,' or 'please die of the pox in a sewer.’
I took a moment to relish my small victory, keeping my eyes closed for longer than was necessary, changing the power play so he was forced to wait for me in his own house.
Giving it a slow count of ten, I opened my eyes and rolled onto my side, propping my head up with a hand. 'Not a problem, Mr Smith. Your carpet is a wonder, truly comfortable. I can understand why you don't have any chairs in the house when you have such a luxurious carpet to sit upon.'
'What are you wittering on about? Of course, we have chairs.'
'Really?' I said, plastering a look of surprise on my face as I sat up, 'But Groot over there said you have no chairs,' I said that last bit in the tones of the butler whilst thrusting a finger in the Treeman's direction. I was safe using the nickname, since it was guaranteed none of them would have caught the reference.
'He didn't lie, did he?' I gave a small simper. Dawn giggled next to me, although I wasn't sure when she had woken. Smith's face was a picture. Not only had I refused to play by the rules, I'd also tricked him into directly contradicting one of his own employees who had been part and parcel of that game.
'He's a Treeman. They're easily confused.'
'Are you feeling alright, Mr Smith? ‘I asked, giving a tilt to my head as I did so. His complexion was a mottled red, and the way he stood was as if he was as taut as a bowstring. So taut that he was apt to snap at any moment. Having him on the back foot, I decided to pluck at him.
'It is terribly kind of you to have someone so…' I paused, clicking my fingers as I pretended to hunt for the word, 'incompetent as a butler. A true sign of charity.'
His left eyelid twitched, his lip curled, and he opened his mouth. 'Let me introduce my assistant. Whilst uncouth, she's anything but incompetent. Dawn.'
'Pleased to meet you, Mr Smith, and my sincere condolences upon your loss. Charlotte was a true reflection of your House and regarded by many in the community as such.'
If I thought my barbs had hit home, I was mistaken. Dawn's words, offered in a warm, sincere and sympathetic tone struck him to the very core. Every person present knew exactly what she meant but, due to how she had said it, there was nothing he could do. Which was what he did. Completely ignoring her outstretched hand, he met my eyes, 'We shall talk in my office. This way.'
'Now,' said Smith after he had seated himself behind a truly impressive mahogany desk, sitting on a gorgeous captain’s chair, 'what is this utter nonsense about me being a Mark? I merely exercised my right as a Merlin to point you in the right direction. Said direction being away from my recently deceased daughter.'
His words, if written down, would have appeared to be conciliatory, reasonable even. However, the written word wouldn't have captured the tone of those words. That tone was full of loathing for the lowborn and Wyldling sat before him. Laden with hatred for the woman he had accused of killing his daughter. Heavy with an anger that his authority was being challenged.
'As I stated before. We were not involved in your daughter's murder. We were involved in the conversation that I believe got your daughter killed.'
'What exactly are you implying?' Smith's voice was cold. He'd managed to get himself back under control for now, but I could see that his knuckles were white as he gripped the arms of his chair. He wasn't going to like what I said.
'I'm not implying anything, Mr Smith. I believe that your daughter overheard a conversation or was part of a conversation in which the Librarian's condition was discussed. Considering that no one knew what had been done to him outside of those working the case, the only conclusion I can come to is they were part of the plot.'
'Ridiculous! People gossip, she must have heard it from somewhere. Then, after she made you look like the plebs that you are, you killed her.' And there it was, the Them and Us that was always present. At least he hadn't reminded us of our racial heritage. Yet. We were facing a vile man, so it wouldn't have surprised me.
'Agents have better things to do than kill people who insult them. Insults are a daily factor, as are attacks both Magical, physical, and spiritual. And the Merlins agree. We were firstly waiting to be freed from the effects of a spell and were then engaged in foiling a determined ambush.'
'So, you say.’ He sneered at us, lifting a trembling hand to point at us, 'but we all know that you never liked her.'
I interrupted him by holding up my own hand. 'Stop right there, no one, bar a few sycophants liked her, and I doubt that many of them did more than bear her.'
'Shut your fucking mouth!' He leapt to his feet, his whole body shaking. 'Don't you dare speak of my daughter like that!' I was always
good at pushing people's buttons.
Getting suspects on edge meant they revealed information or sides to their nature they might not if they were still in control of their emotions.
'You don't know who you're dealing with. Soon, my House will be more powerful …' the colour faded from his face as he visibly bit his own tongue. Bingo.
'I believe that I said you were a Mark due to trying to obstruct an Agent. You are now under arrest. Hold out your hands.' I reached for the quick cuffs, Dawn stepping to one side should he try to make a run for it. He didn't, instead, reaching for an Icon, his mouth starting to form the words of a spell. He was old-school, not relying upon Icons like me. Gave me an edge.
'Glam…' My foot connected with his chest as I launched myself over his desk, driving the breath from his body. Dawn stepped in, reaching for his arm to gain control. She'd barely done so when he twisted his arms, pivoting on the spot, and throwing her into the wall. I was impressed. And pissed off.
As he tried to step over a dazed looking Dawn, I snatched hold of his collar, planning to pull him backward. What I didn't plan on was Smith ducking down whilst turning around and throwing a punch straight into my groin. It was hard. Far harder than I would have expected from a toff like him.
I bent double just in time for him to kick his feet into my shins, sweeping me off my feet. Somehow, he caught me, then threw me over his head with a tome nagi, a judo throw. Luckily for me, Dawn was still trying to get to her feet when I landed on her. From the noise she made, she wasn't as happy about it as I was.
Whilst we were still untangling ourselves, I saw Smith run out of the office whilst yelling at the top of his voice for help.
'Wanker's better at fighting than I thought,' wheezed Dawn. 'Thought all your people relied on wands and shit.'
'Most do. The sod must have decided he needed an edge,' I groaned as I levered myself up. My head had barely cleared the desk when a Faun poked his head around the door jam and fired off a shot from a chrome-plated automatic pistol. I yelped as splinters cut into my face.
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