Copyright
Without limiting the rights under copyright reserved above, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise) without the prior written permission of both the copyright owner and the above publisher of this book.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, brands, media, and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. The author acknowledges the trademarked status and trademark owners of various products, bands, and/or restaurants referenced in this work of fiction, which have been used without permission. The publication/use of these trademarks is not authorized, associated with, or sponsored by the trademark owners.
Cover designer - Robin Harper with Wicked by Design
Formatting - Elaine York, Allusion Graphics, LLC/Publishing & Book Formatting
Prologue
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty-One
Chapter Twenty-Two
Chapter Twenty-Three
Epilogue
Give Me a Reason Excerpt
Acknowledgements
About the Author
Other Books by Jennifer Miller
To all my readers who love this series, send me messages, like and share all of my postings — this book is for you.
“Money isn’t the root of all evil, greed is.”
- Unknown
“Then Jesus said, ‘Beware! Guard against every kind of greed. Life is not measured by how much you own’.”
- Luke 12:15
Holding one of her hands tightly, I give it a tug and pull her up against my body. With my other I grab a handful of her perfect ass as my mouth descends to meet hers. She smiles and her eyes open a bit more widely and pierce mine just before our mouths crash together and we kiss each other hard using not only our lips, but tongue and teeth. It’s a kiss that makes our intentions clear - a kiss that’s shared when you know sex is forthcoming or currently happening. And sex is absolutely going to happen here.
Pulling her bottom lip with my teeth I give it a bite then soothe it with my tongue. Backing up to the utility closet while she gives me a bite of her own, I grab the lever, quickly open the door and after a quick sweep of the hallway, pull her inside.
“I’m almost sad to leave here since it means no longer getting my hands on you,” she says while using said hands to push up my shirt and rub over my chest and stomach. “Almost,” she laughs softly.
I grunt my reply then eagerly lift her shirt up and yank her bra down taking her hard nipple between my teeth and tugging. I’d smirk at her sharp inhale if my mouth wasn’t already occupied.
“We have to hurry,” she pants as her hands grip my head pushing me against her chest harder.
Pulling back to look in her eyes visible from the light coming in under the door, I smile and grind my hips against hers, “I’m ready if you are.”
“I’m so ready.”
Inching her skirt up until it sits above her waist I push her panties down her legs then use my knee to open her legs further. Pushing my fingers through her wetness she moans, making me stiffen further.
“You’re more than ready for me.” She merely moans again in response.” “Feel good my little shark?”
I know she hates the nickname but she’s too caught up in what my fingers are doing to her body to correct me.
“I want you,” she tells me before she swiftly undoes my pants and takes me in her hand. I moan, loving the feel of her hand moving up and down my cock. Not wasting another moment, I grab a condom from my back pocket, rip it open with my teeth and roll it on in record time.
Grabbing the back of her bare thighs, I wrap her legs around my waist and press her against the back of the door before I reach down, point and penetrate with the roughness I know she likes. We groan simultaneously at our joining and for a moment I remain still – I’m not sure I could move if I wanted to. I need a moment to center my spinning head from the lust powering through my body like an erupting volcano. I need a moment to calm myself and to simply enjoy her warmth.
But when her hips start pushing against mine seeking friction, I can no longer remain still. Burying my face in her neck I begin to move in and out, slowly at first then with more speed as the need inside of me increases.
“Fuck,” I curse when I feel the heaviness of my balls and the tingle begin in my lower back already. I try to hold off even though I could blow now because I’m a gentleman after all. She needs to get hers first.
Reaching between our bodies, I circle her clit and smirk in satisfaction at the mindless stream of words leaving her mouth. Pretty sure there was something there about me being a god. I’d laugh but when I feel her tighten around me, it’s not a laugh that comes out of my mouth but a curse. Placing my hand over her mouth gently, I stifle the scream she emits with her release.
Keeping my hand in place, I begin pumping into her hard and fast before my release quickly follows. Staying pressed against her for a moment, I catch my breath and place a kiss on her neck before finally pulling away from her and placing her gently on her feet.
Silently, we each redress and straighten our clothing and rake through our hair. When we’re decent once more she places her hands around my waist.
“Well that was one hell of a goodbye.”
“I aim to please.”
“Yes, yes you do,” she squeezes me once more before letting me go. “Thanks for being-” she pauses.
I take her hand, “I know. You helped me get through these last weeks too.”
She nods and I think looks grateful that I said the words for her. Cupping the side of her face, I give her lips a lingering kiss. We stare at each other for a moment and then I let my arms drop.
Opening the door, I scan up and down the hallway once more before I step out pulling her behind me and wait while she swiftly, but gently, closes the door behind us to minimize noise and any potential undue attention. This has been our meeting place for such encounters because this part of the facility has far fewer people, making it less likely to get caught. While we’re certainly two consenting adults, fraternizing with fellow patients isn’t exactly encouraged. In fact, it’s forbidden. Something about taking the focus from the reason we’re here. But for another time in a sea of occurrences, find myself quickly wondering how I would have endured this without her – she’s made it a hell of a lot easier. And fun.
Silently, we make our way back toward our assigned rooms, which happen to be across the hall from one another. We separate, each of us ducking inside our room to grab our things, then meet back in the hallway with our packed bags in tow this time. With a brief look at each other we smile then head toward the entrance of the building where we know they’re expecting us. Having delayed our departure, I wonder if someone is searching for our whereabouts, both having articulated our eagerness and readiness to leave. I think about grabbing her hand as we walk but uncertainty makes me think the better of it.
“I’d like to say it’s been fun, but really, it’s sucked. You know, other than the times I was with you,” she says wi
th a smirk.
She’s being flippant, but something I can’t define flashes in her eyes. I refuse to give it much thought even though my chest aches a little. When we hooked up we knew this was a temporary distraction to get us through our rehab stint. We even set rules initially, no personal talk outside of group therapy about why we’re here, no exchanging phone numbers… hell… no exchanging last names. This was a hook-up of convenience, a no strings attached thing and we said we were fine with that. I don’t think either of us expected it would become more - that we’d hit it off not just sexually but intellectually. She quickly became a best friend, someone I looked forward to seeing each day - talking about mundane things, sharing certain secrets and laughs, watching movies. Yes, it was a fun distraction to get us through, but now walking with her to leave all I can think about is not seeing her ever again and I don’t like it. But, I can’t tell her that, I agreed not to get attached – so did she. So, I assume an air of cocky indifference.
“Yeah, I know, I’m pretty great. But yeah, I’m happy to get the hell out of this place too. You definitely made this a time to remember.”
She laughs, “Back atcha.”
Once we reach the front office area of the building where individuals sign themselves in and out, we wait our turn to complete the required documentation and make our departure official. There’s a few of us leaving today it seems. Most of us have been here no less than 45 days, some much longer. We learned early that there is no one size fits all to this process despite common lay misconceptions that 30 days solves everything. Ironically, Sutton and I arrived within hours of one another. And stayed the same length of time. And now, our time is up.
Once we sign out, we collect our personal previously confiscated property. This particular place requires individuals to turn in personal cell phones to make sure all focus is on recovery. I didn’t complain at the time not really caring and willing to do anything to get back in my best friend’s good graces. Initially it wasn’t about me getting better at all, but now, I’m ready to get out of here to start anew. To make amends and to move on from this dark alternative route my life took.
As soon as my phone is in my hand I smile my thanks to Frances, the office assistant, and chuckle when she blushes. Immediately turning it on and watching it begin its start-up process, I’m thankful to find I have a little battery left though I’m not sure how.
As I wait for my phone to finish firing up, I turn and walk to the waiting area and see Sutton standing there engrossed in her own phone.
“Did you drive yourself here?” I ask her at a loss for anything else to say.
She jumps a little at the sound of my voice making me frown, “Uh, no. I was dropped off.”
“By a friend?”
“I’m not sure what he is right now. Can I just say that’s complicated?” She smiles but it looks forced, “What about you?”
My blue eyes stare into her bright green and I want to tell her that I changed my mind. Convince her to change her mind too. I want to tell her that I’d like to see her again outside of this place, in the light of day. I want to tell her that she’s the best thing I wasn’t expecting. But I don’t, and I wonder if I’ll always regret it.
“Uh, no,” I finally answer clearing my throat, “My buddy dropped me off.”
No sooner do I speak of him than I look down at my phone and see his name on the screen.
“Hello?” I ask answering the call.
“Zane. Man it’s good to hear your voice.”
My chest clenches, nervous but happy to hear the kindness in my best friend’s voice. He has lots of reasons to want to kick my ass and to tell me to get packing and never come back. I had no idea how he’d respond when given the permission to make a phone call to arrange pick up, I asked him if he could be here today. I sort of expected the worst even though the call was short and direct. It wasn’t and ever since I’ve been dreading seeing and talking to him today.
“Yours too. You have no idea.”
“Just wanted to tell you I’ll be there in like sixty seconds.”
“Okay, see you then.”
We hang up and I laugh to myself that he called realizing I must not be the only one that’s a little nervous.
“I can’t wait to go home and sleep in my own bed,” I confess.
Sutton laughs, “That will definitely be a plus.”
A horn honks loudly at the curb making me snap my head up. A dark haired guy steps out of his car and looks at his watch. I can practically feel his impatience from here.
“Oh, that’s me,” Sutton says and gives me a slight smile and I swear I see anger and maybe fear in her eyes.
“You okay?” I ask her.
“Yeah. Great. Never better.”
But she’s lying. I’ve come to know her well enough to see that.
“Sutton, wait-”
“It’s been fun, Zane. Thanks for everything,” she talks over me and I get the message loud and clear. She doesn’t want me to break the boundaries we set.
“But, I was thinking-”
She interrupts again, “Maybe I’ll see you around some time.”
“We could make that the case you know.”
She smiles, “I kind of like the idea that if we’re supposed to meet again, we will. It will be fate telling us we should be together.”
I sigh feeling exasperated, confused and frustrated. But before I can say another word, she’s pushed the door open.
Quickly I say, “Stay away from the cards, little shark.”
She rolls her eyes and throws me a smile over her shoulder.
I watch her walk down the walkway toward mystery man feeling anxiousness I don’t understand. Wanting to get her number and keep her in my life is a foreign feeling. It’s not my typical modus operandi, so I don’t know what’s up with me.
Pushing aside whatever I’m feeling, instead I check out the guy’s face that’s picking her up. I can’t help but wonder who he is to her. He looks a bit older than her, but some chicks dig that. Who am I to judge? Was she fucking me when she’s got a guy already?
Another foreign feeling rises within me – jealousy. Continuing to focus on them, straining for interpretation, I’m uncertain that an intimate relationship between them exists, as the look on his face doesn’t indicate intimacy in any way. He doesn’t smile at all upon seeing her, just continues to radiate impatience with a look of annoyance. They stand and talk for a moment, I can’t see her face, but from his end it doesn’t look like a happy nice to see you again conversation. The hair on the back of my neck stands on end when I see him grab her upper arm and push her to the car.
Pushing the doors open, a flipped up rug gets caught under it and delays my exit, but when I step outside I call out, “Hey!”
She’s inside the car and her head whips in my direction. He’s standing with his car door open and he looks up at me too, eyes narrowed before widening a bit. Maybe he got a good look at me and is feeling fearful. I hope to hell he is. I’m booking it to the car but he jumps in and takes off before I get close enough to do anything.
Moving into the street, I stare after the car wondering what the hell just happened and wishing I had super speed or some shit to go after them.
I’m distracted when I hear a horn honk behind me and I jump spinning around. Jax is smiling broadly through the windshield of his truck and jumps out to greet me.
“Hey brother. It’s fucking good to see you.”
Returning his smile I nod and we do hug slapping each other on the back before we pull away. Relief has me exhaling, “Yeah man, you too.”
Looking over my shoulder and down the street one more time, I realize the car Sutton was in has disappeared. Turning back to Jax’s truck I jump up inside and force myself to let go of her and turn my thoughts to all the things I need to make right in my own life.
Looking around, I try my damndest to pinpoint exactly when Xtreme Fitness Center, my second home, started to look more like a dating service than a p
lace to work on one’s fitness. I can’t recall exactly when everything changed, but I can definitely remember a time it wasn’t like it is now.
Each day for years, I’d arrive, meet up with my boys and we did our thing. We’d lift together, spar each other and train our asses off. We all had one goal in mind – fighting, winning and dominating, but we also let loose. This was our place to let it all hang out – and when it comes to my pal, Levi, sometimes in the locker room - that meant literally. But it was okay because we’re guys. Guys do that shit. And while it was a place for those committed to fitness and developing their bodies, it had always been a safe zone - a place where we can let go and be ourselves because the best of friends surrounded us. We’d smack talk, belch, sweat like pigs and talk about our latest lay. Nothing was off the table; we’d all been friends for years.
Occasionally, the random MMA groupie sluts would hang out. But let’s face it, when we gave them the time of day it was because we were finished doing anything resembling work. We were then ready to give our bodies a different kind of work out.
The point is, it was just us guys – us men! All of that stuff combined with a common goal; working on ourselves to the extreme so we would be unstoppable in the octagon.
Now, standing just outside the locker room with my bag at my feet and a roll of tape in my hands hoping someone can fix me up and spar with me, I look across the room to where Jax is standing. If guys called other guys their besties like chicks do, Jax would be mine. Friends since we’ve been eight years old, we’ve been through a lot of shit together. I’ve always been able to count on him for anything - until lately.
That’s when it dawns on me that I do know when the fuck all of this changed. In fact, I know exactly when it did. It’s when Jax met his woman, Rowan.
Row’s great, she’s become like a sister to me. She’s got a daughter, Lily, that’s now Jax’s daughter too because he finally adopted her – just last week actually. It was a small thing at the courthouse and she’s so young she had no idea what was going on, but all of Lily’s new uncles were there.
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