“One time I got in a fight at school and I got expelled,” Nate tells me. Sutton looks at Nate and does not look amused by his bravado.
“As you should have,” I say and Nate’s proud look falls from his face. “Fighting when both parties are not in a ring isn’t okay. It can get you in a lot of trouble which it sounds like you’ve learned. There are other ways to work out problems than with your fists. Okay?”
Nate nods at me, eyes wide. Sutton looks at me and smiles and I know I said the right thing. “Besides, now that we’re friends, if anyone messes with you, just let me know okay?”
Nate’s eyes light up and smiles light up all around the table. Not the smartest thing to say maybe but I have no doubt life can be tough enough for these kids. I remember all too well how kids can be when they find out your life is different from their own. They aren’t always kind. Having someone in their corner isn’t exactly a bad thing. They all start talking amongst themselves about how cool that is and I dare a look at Sutton to find her looking at me in amusement. I shrug.
Moving behind the counter in the kitchen I eye the plates and then the dishes of food. Turning to the sink I quickly wash my hands then determine which items have yet to be added to the plates. I help dish some things out and Sutton tells me a couple plates not to put the corn on I’m helping disperse.
“You don’t have to do this,” Nick says taking plates from the counter to serve to the kids.
“I don’t mind. I figure I’ve held up dinner enough, the least I can do is help get it served.”
“Thank you,” Camille says as she too takes some plates.
Once everyone has been served and is eating, Sutton turns to me, “Are you ready to go?”“You bet.”
“Good night, everyone. I’ll see you guys again in a few days, okay?”
Various voices call out their goodbye’s to Sutton and I wave at everyone. “Bye guys, I hope to come back and see you all again some time.”
“Don’t forget the flowers or candy next time,” Melody says making me laugh.
“I won’t, I promise.”
Sutton grabs her things and we walk out to the truck I borrowed from Levi for the evening. He made me tell him what I needed it for but I lied and said I was lugging some old furniture to Goodwill. I don’t think he believed me but I didn’t feel like answering any questions I knew he would ask about Sutton. Or annoying comments because that’s much more likely.
“Thanks for having me come here,“ I tell Sutton after I help her into the truck and then join her.
“Thanks for agreeing to meet me here.”
“Of course,” I reply and we make small talk on our way to the restaurant. “I was thinking just something simple tonight like I said on the phone. You still cool with that?”
“You see I’ve just got on jeans and a t-shirt, right? That’s perfect.”
“You look beautiful,” I tell her honestly and feel warm in my chest when I see her smile and look down as if she’s embarrassed to receive a compliment. She better get used to it.
“You like Thai food?”
“I love it.”
“Great.”
I pull into a little hole in the wall place that I discovered not long ago. It has the best Thai food I’ve ever had.
Rushing to her side of the truck after I park, I help her down and she laughs at the long drop. Grabbing her hand I pull her into the restaurant and smile when I feel her hand tighten in my own.
Once we’re sitting and we’ve ordered, yellow curry for her and pad Thai for me, I comment again on the kids, “That Melody was a character. They were all great.”
“They’re really amazing.” She’s smiling ear to ear and the love she has for them is shining in her eyes.
I nod, “That was easy to see. But the very special woman that takes care of them and clearly loves them is amazing too. They adore you. That’s easy to see just in the way they look at and interact with you.”
“We’ve come a long way. Each of them has been at the house a few years or longer now.”
“What determines their living there? Are you able to take more than the ten kids that are there now?”
“No. It’s only ten at a time per home. Depending on the square footage we have specific regulations we have to follow. Their residency depends on a few things – the foster program or court assigning them into our care, their physical and behavioral condition, the recommendations of treating individuals, like their child psychologist, their time in the system, their ability to live in a group setting – those kind of things. I wish we could house many more, but we’re working on opening more houses for the same purpose and we have a large facility but we started using group homes when possible, as they seem to thrive much better. And for those who are fortunate enough to be returned to family or be adopted, it gives them a better foundation for living in that environment. It also enables them to a smaller staff to child ratio, which means more individualized attention too. We’ve got ten homes total right now along with the large facility and we’re planning on opening more in the future assuming that governmental grants and donations make that possible.”
“That’s great.”
“Yeah. It’s hard that we can’t help them all, but we’re doing the best we can. Fortunately we aren’t the only foundation in town of course and we’re expanding slowly but surely.”
“The kids are lucky to have you.”
“I’m lucky to have them too. It’s a mutual benefit, that’s for sure.”
Our food is served and it stalls our conversation for a moment. We each begin eating. “This is really good,” she hums her happiness after taking a bite.
“I was hoping you would like it. This is one of my favorite places.”
“I can see why.”
“You said that taking care of the kids has a mutual benefit. How so?”
“Those children…” she pauses and shakes her head. “God, Zane. Like I mentioned once before, some of them have seen and endured horrors that we couldn’t even comprehend. They wrestle with feelings of identity, belonging and oftentimes feel like outcasts among other children and even adults. They’ve often endured incredible trauma. Some have been in multiple settings. Many come to us and have basic food and safety insecurity. Some were physically, mentally and emotionally abused. Whether they became orphans because they lost their parents to some tragic accident, have been placed in the system due to behaviors or choices of the adults in their lives, or have been given up by parents or other family members due to addictions, incarceration or their own realities of helplessness and hopelessness - they’ve all got a story. Their strength, resiliency, bravery… their perseverance to keep going despite feeling like the world is against them is so totally inspiring. The children who come to us are often broken, and while it’s heartbreaking, with appropriate guidance and support, we can help them. It’s said that with appropriate care, they can be helped easier than adults who suffered similarly. I don’t know. I merely look at their being with us as an opportunity to help them and to give them hope and a future.”
“How do you know when they have hope?”
“When they’re with us we first help them to feel safe, to have their basic needs met. We then strive to help them experience the reality of being able to feel people doing right by them. We help them develop the act of trusting. We extend compassion and empathy, and give them purpose. We also set boundaries and expectations. They realize much from each other – we call this peer support. They realize they aren’t alone. They develop self-confidence and pride in accomplishment and realize praise. For me, it’s a chance to help build these amazing children up to become unstoppable adults. To help them overcome despite their circumstances.”
“While I certainly wish they didn’t find themselves in a position to need to go to an orphanage at all, they sure are lucky that they’ve found themselves at yours.”
“Again, I think it’s mutually beneficial.”
“What made you want to do th
is for a living?”
She looks down and then sets her fork down too and I wonder if I asked the wrong question. I start to apologize or ask her something else, but she answers before I can. “My parents died in a car accident when I was seventeen – before the end of my senior year in high school. I had plans to graduate and go to college, but all of that changed suddenly with their passing.”
“What happened? You didn’t go ahead and go to college?”
“No. Not until later. I was devastated and lost after the accident. I didn’t have anyone. I was an only child. I had no family. No place to go. All of a sudden I found myself forced into a foster home with foster parents in a new community, which meant a new school for the last half of my senior year – which was horrible. I was lost, angry, sad. I got into some trouble and was placed in a group home with other teenagers. It was definitely not a place like where I work. I worked a trashy job to get out of that setting as much as possible. I met someone at my work. He was kind to me, took an interest in me; I thought he was my savior. I emancipated myself, finished high school, and he took me from a very unsavory job and insecure life, took me in and took care of me.”
“Let me guess, it wasn’t out of the goodness of his heart?” I can feel my blood begin to boil. Images of a teenage vulnerable Sutton flash in my mind and the thought of someone taking advantage of her situation makes me want to put my hands around their neck and squeeze.
“How’d you guess?” She laughs but there’s no humor in the sound.
“Call it a hunch.”
“He gave me money, food, a place to live. Cared for me. I felt special and again – I thought he was my prince charming. He was… older and I was willing to do anything for him. I fell for him quickly.”
I breathe deeply through my nose trying to control the emotions at war within me. She doesn’t realize she’s ripping a napkin to shreds during her story. Her eyes expose the sorrow and regret pouring out of her soul.
“He quickly taught me how to count cards,” she looks at me quickly and back down again. “I knew it was wrong but I didn’t even think about telling him no. He then found ways for me to use my new talent. I got away with it for a few years. He would send me to various places to work with different people and well... I was good - very good. I was always great at math in school so counting cards came easily to me. I made him a lot of money.”
“Let me guess, your luck ran out.”
“I guess that’s all based on your interpretation of the situation.”
“What do you mean?”
“You’re right, I got caught. I had no idea one of the places
he would send me to started getting suspicious. They had video after video and by the time I went back…well, on that particular day, they knew what I had been doing. I was caught. Police were called. I was arrested. I was ordered to pay a fine and was sent to rehab.”
“The guy that got you involved didn’t do anything to help you?”
“No. I mean, what could he do anyway? I was caught. Saying anything would have only made him get caught as well and there was no way he was going to do that. But, even knowing that, I was angry. Very angry.”
“So how is your luck running out open to interpretation?”“Well, if all of that hadn’t happened, I wouldn’t have met you, right? We wouldn’t be here now.”
A slow grin is hard to refuse, “Well you make an excellent point.”
After that, I pay the bill and we return to the truck. “Do you need to get back home right away?”She looks at the clock, “No. I’ve got a sitter for Ryan and I told her I’d be gone for a couple more hours yet.”“Great. It’s a nice night and I borrowed this truck for a reason. I’ve got an idea for us.”
“What is it?” She asks curiously with a smile as she buckles her seatbelt.
“Do you trust me?”
She stares at me for a moment and then nods, “Yeah. I do.”
I nod and before we pull out of the parking lot I connect my phone to the truck’s Bluetooth and pick some songs. The windows are rolled down because the night is amazing. A quick look at the truck’s dash tells me it’s still eighty-five degrees outside. Perfect weather for what I have planned.
As I drive along we’re both quiet, enjoying the music and the warm air blowing through the windows. Looking over at her I smile when I see she’s got a hand out the window letting the wind hit it and smiling at how it moves up and down given the speed and the wind. Her hair blows all around her face and shoulders yet she doesn’t make a move to fluster with it. She’s never looked more beautiful.
I drive for the next twenty minutes and when I find the place I’m looking for, I pull off the road onto a dirt road and follow it a little ways until it opens up to a parking lot. There are only a couple other cars here, but it doesn’t matter.
Turning off the truck, I grab the blankets and pillows from the back and turn to Sutton, “Did you bring me to a make out spot?” she asks me looking around us.
I laugh. I guess it could appear that way. I brought her to a look out spot in the middle of the dark desert.
“I mean, I’m not opposed to that, but I thought we could relax, listen to some music and look at the stars. What do you think?”
Her smile is breathtaking, “I think nothing would be more perfect.”
We climb out of the truck, she doesn’t wait for me this time, and once I lower the tailgate I set up the blankets on the bottom of the truck bed. We both climb in and promptly lie on our backs to stare up at the sky.
I lucked out because it’s the perfect night for this. The sky is clear and the stars are shining brighter than ever. There looks to be millions and millions.
When she moves closer to me, I hold out my arm and she cuddles into my side, putting her head on my shoulder so she can still look up at the sky.
“It always amazes me how small I feel when I look up at the sky like this,” she says with awe in her voice. “It’s so massive.”
Clearing my throat, I hesitate but then remember how much of herself she revealed to me and so I decide to return the favor. “When I was fourteen my dad left us. My mom was a stay at home mom at the time taking care of my sister and me and didn’t have a job. He was a big time investor and took off. Before my mom could even wrap her mind around what had happened the cops and FBI were beating down our door, looking for him. It turns out that he was knee deep in some illegal shit and somehow he found out he was about to get caught and took off. He left us high and dry, no explanation, nothing. All of our accounts were frozen, everything was repossessed, the mortgage took back our house, one of our cars, we lost everything except our personal belongings and one car that was paid off. He had been in business with my uncle and basically stole his clients’ money and said he was investing it when he wasn’t. Or he would rob Peter to pay Paul as the saying goes and would always be taking from the next client to pay out to the first, etc. Pocketing what he could, eventually it all caught up with him and my uncle claimed to have no idea and blamed my mom, his own sister, of knowing but not telling anyone. We ended up homeless, abandoned and alone.”
Sutton remains quiet listening to me share my childhood pain.
“We went from shelter to shelter to eat and shower, carrying the things that were most important to us on our backs in our backpacks and lived in and out of our car when the weather wasn’t too hot. The gas only lasted so long as did the little bit of cash my mom happened to have in a box in the closet. She said she always kept an emergency fund just in case. Somehow we managed to keep attending school, but as my clothes became rattier and nastier so did the comments from the kids. Jax, my best friend and the only one that knew what was going on, beat up anyone that said anything to me. Really it’s no wonder we both got into fighting,” I laugh and I’m happy when I hear her do so too.
“It was really tough for a while. My mom got a job at a diner and it took a while for her to save enough money for us to get a shit hole of an apartment we lived in and we barely had a pot
to piss in for years. As I began training it wasn’t long before I was quickly and excitedly welcomed into the professional world of fighting and started booking fights. The more fights I scheduled, the more I found myself betting on my own fights –sometimes even against myself.
Part of it was the thrill of winning but I realize now most of it was this innate need to have money, to buy whatever I wanted. I’d give some to my mom to take care of her and my sister. It was great for a while, until I started losing.”
“Oh god, Zane.”
“I got in bad with a bookie. Bet on a huge fight and lost, then lost again. Until I was in over my head and borrowed from a bookie I knew I shouldn’t and then couldn’t pay it back. I kept getting in deeper and deeper.”
“I know all about that. It almost feels euphoric when you’re winning. You feel invincible.”
“That you do. But when I was beaten so bad for not being able to pay them back and told it would be worse if I didn’t pay them sooner than later, the euphoria was definitely over.”
“What did you do?”
“One of the hardest things I’ve ever done. I asked for help.”
“Jax?”
“Jax.”
“He sounds like an amazing friend.”
“He is. The best.”
“I’d like to meet him some time. He’s a fighter too you said, right? Owns the gym?”
“Yep. He’s basically the manager for all of us. He trains and spars with us. We had a trainer, his name was Gil, but he retired recently and instead of hiring someone else, Jax does it all now.”
“You’re lucky to have him.”
“Believe me, I know it. He paid off my debt, promised after I healed from the beating I took he was going to take his turn and beat me up again. Once I healed up for the most part he dropped my ass off at rehab.”
“I wondered about the healing cuts and bruises but didn’t say anything then.”
“Now you know.”
We’re quiet for a minute. “Back when things were bad, with my family, at night when we were sleeping in our car I would roll down the window when it was nice and stare at the stars for hours. I kind of became obsessed with astronomy and took books from the library to learn about it and often shared what I had learned with my mom and sister.”
Fighting Greed Page 10