With a sigh, I lean over, pull the covers he’s kicked down back up and give him a gentle kiss on the cheek. I smile when he doesn’t even budge.
I walk back down the hall and meet Zane as he comes in the door. “I think she likes me.”
“I think that’s a safe assessment. That offer probably made her a fan for life.”
“Can I get that night cap now?”
“You bet,” I tell him but I can’t move. Almost against my will my eyes devour him from head to toe. When my gaze rests on his lips I find myself feeling the overwhelming need to want to taste them. There’s something about having him here in my space, having him basically alone, that’s turning me on. Maybe it’s because I used to imagine it all the time. Zane coming through the door, sweeping me off my feet and taking Ryan and I away from the horror show that’s become my life.
Without realizing it, I take a step toward him. My eyes meet his and I find he’s looking at me just as intensely. There’s need and desire in his eyes, yet he remains still as if he’s waiting for me to make the first move.
I take another step.
“Ever since I saw you last,” I practically whisper, “a part of me has always wished for you.”
Once the words leave my lips I gasp feeling embarrassed that I said them aloud.
But, it’s like the spell on him is broken with my words and he closes the distance between us. With a brief look in my eyes, his lips descend toward mine. At first it’s a tentative kiss – a touch – a taste. He pulls back and we look at each other once more and then I close the distance.
Our mouths come together again but this time it’s not gentle, it’s not a taste, it’s a complete claiming. My tongue sweeps inside his mouth and when he moans a sharp feeling of female satisfaction flows through my veins. I pull away slightly biting his lower lip remembering he likes that. Funny the things you remember. Then I claim his mouth once more and this time I’m the one groaning.
He’s calm at first, he lets me lead and I marvel at the feeling of being in control. When is the last time I’ve felt like I’ve had control over anything in my life? It’s empowering.
I clutch him to me, my mouth continuing to move against him, my body completely pressed against his.
It’s clear the moment his patience breaks because he leans down and grabs me by the back of the thighs and lifts me up. My jean clad legs immediately wrap around his hips and I hang on as he walks us to the couch. He sits and I’m straddled across his lap and have no shame in grinding myself against him.
“Fuck, woman. Keep doing that.”
So, I do. I plunge my hands into his hair, I tilt his head where I want it, I move my mouth against his continuing to take what I want and he lets me. He tastes like the mint he popped in his mouth after dinner.
My hands travel down his chest and I love the feel of his muscles under my palms. Needing to touch him skin to skin, I slip my hands under his shirt and run them everywhere, enjoying the intake of his breath.
Pulling away from me, he stares at me, his breaths coming fast. While watching me, he pulls my shirt up and over my breasts. He pauses and takes in my black lace bra and the way he looks at me makes me want to preen like a proud peacock. It makes me feel beautiful and sexy, the feeling bursting through me like it’s been tired of sitting idle for so long.
He painstakingly slowly moves the cup aside revealing my left breast. He runs his thumb over my nipple and it peaks immediately in response. Slowly, very slowly he moves toward my body and just when I think I can’t take the anticipation any longer, his tongue licks me. He circles my nipple, once, twice, and then sucks.
My head falls back, a moan leaves my mouth along with one word, “Yes.” The ‘s’ sounding like a snake. I’m lost. One simple touch of his mouth on my body and I’m lost.
So it takes me a moment to realize why Zane suddenly freezes under me.
Until I hear once more, “Mommy?”
Going completely still my eyes fly to Zane’s only to find his wide as well. Slowly, so it isn’t obvious he puts my bra back into place at the same time he sits back then pulls down my shirt for me.
Closing my eyes I take a quick breath, “Yeah, baby?” I ask before I turn around.
Ryan stands there with rumpled hair, sheet creases on one cheek, his pajama shirt rides up his stomach and one pant leg is lifted up to just under his knee. He’s squinting at me while rubbing one of his eyes.
“I had a bad dream.”
Moving off of Zane, I go to my child.
Our child.
Ice runs through my veins and I feel afraid, “Mommy will take you back to bed and tuck you in.”
“Can I have a drink of water?”
I hesitate feeling nervous, “Of course.”
Taking his hand, I walk him into the kitchen feeling relieved when I notice Zane doesn’t move. But after a few steps, Ryan looks back over his shoulder. He doesn’t say a word while I get a cup, or while I pour the water. He drinks the whole thing down and then wipes his mouth on the back of his sleeve. Not feeling like scolding him when he’s half asleep I let it go. Placing the cup back in the sink I turn to him, “Alright, lets go back to bed.”
We walk hand in hand out of the kitchen and just as I’m about to hold a finger up to Zane to let him know I’ll be right back, Ryan stops.
“Who are you?”
“Ryan, you need to go back to bed.”
“Hi Ryan, my name is Zane,” he says at the same time.
Looking at Zane, I see him smiling softly at Ryan. Ryan lets go of my hand and moves to Zane and I find that I can’t move.
“Are you my mommy’s friend?”
“I sure am. I’d like to be your friend too. If that’s okay.”
Ryan stares at him like he’s thinking about it for a second, “Got a quarter?”
“A quarter?”
Ryan nods his head, “Yeah. I’ll be your friend for a quarter.”
“Ryan!” I admonish surprised he’s even awake enough to have a conversation let alone bribe my… whatever Zane is to me.
“What? I like quarters.”
Zane reaches into his pocket and I hear some change rattle around a little. He pulls out a small pile, fishes out some change and puts it in Ryan’s hand.
“This is two quarters, I only asked for one.”
“I’m worth more than one quarter,” Zane says with a wink and I laugh and Ryan smiles having no clue what he means but liking the fact he has two quarters.
“Alright. Friends,” Ryan nods.
“Let’s shake on it,” Zane tells him.
Then I watch as my son and his father touch each other for the first time. Tears burn in the back of my eyes and I know that some day when this is over and I can finally tell Zane the truth that I will spend the rest of my life trying to make this up to him. Seeing him with Ryan, just this small interaction, I keep asking myself what I’ve done.
Forcing a smile, I finally hold up that finger to tell Zane I’ll be back. I know when I return I’ll end our evening, telling him that I don’t want Ryan to wake up again. He’ll understand, he’ll be great, because that’s who he is.
Walking down the hallway with our son’s hand in mine, I ask myself if I even know who I am anymore. Then I remind myself, maybe in a pathetic attempt to make myself feel better, that I have no choice in this. Nico threatened the life of our son, the son I know without a doubt if Zane knew about, he’d do anything he could to protect.
So, for now, until I can figure out a way out of this, I’ll protect him enough for both of us with all that I am.
My fight is tomorrow and since Sutton is going I suggested she stop by the gym and meet the guys today. She hesitated at first, I think she’s nervous, but then she agreed and is bringing Ryan with her. Looking around the gym, I’m wondering if that was the best decision.
Everyone is here. Everyone. I mean, I knew Jax would be here of course but other than that I figured it would be a couple of the guys. Instead, all the gu
ys are here. The worst part… Jax, Tyson, Ryder and Cole who always have their women here – don’t have them here today. Seriously? Normally I’d be thinking it was a blessing – finally getting to work out and do our thing without distraction, but not today. This doesn’t bode well for me.
The weigh in is later this afternoon and Sutton said during our date earlier this week that she’d like to go to that too. I suggested she not bring Ryan to that, not that she was going to. It’s no big deal – me stripping down to my boxers, standing on a scale, flexing, staring hatefully at my opponent while a photo is taken – and then it’s over. Some of the guys don’t watch their language there. There’s a lot of, “You’re fucking going down,” and “I’m going to fucking stomp on you,” and those kinds of comments. I get it, it’s all part of the sport. We all have talent, so it becomes a game of mind over matter and who strikes first and the most. But, it’s no place for a little kid.
I’m distracted. I was sparring with Ryder and took too many hits that I should have easily blocked. Feigning a headache, Dylan happily took my place. Sutton told me the time she’d come by so I’ve been obsessively watching the door ever since the time was within ten minutes of her arrival.
Almost to the dot of when she said she’d arrive, I see her through the doors. She’s dressed in tight jeans and a blue top the color of the ocean and she looks beautiful with her hair down and a smile on her face as she looks down at Ryan.
Focused on them, I immediately walk their way anxious to meet them as they walk in the door.
“Where you going, Moreno?” Tyson asks but I ignore him.
When Sutton is through the door she looks up and she doesn’t see me quite yet so I watch as she looks around the place trying to find me. When she sees me moving toward her I love watching a slow smile spread across her mouth.
When I reach her I start to kiss her, then stop forgetting myself. I’m not sure that I’m comfortable doing that in front of Ryan. I think it may be smart to let him get used to me before he sees me kissing on his mom. The night of our date doesn’t count because I’m pretty sure he didn’t see anything since he was to caught up in his bad dream.
“Hi, Zane,” Ryan says with a small smile. He looks up at me eyes wide and curious as he also looks around the gym.
“Hey, little dude. How are you today?”
“I’m good.”
My eyes move to his mother and to my surprise she lifts up on her toes and kisses me softly on my lips. So much for worrying about doing that in front of the kiddo.
“Hello,” she says softly, almost shyly as if she’s wondering if I would mind if she did that. To make sure she knows I like it a lot, I lean back in and press my lips to hers once more.
“Hello, yourself.”
“Mommy said we were coming to see you at the gym.”
“Yep, that’s right. This is Xtreme Fitness Center. It’s where I work out and train for the mixed martial arts fighting I do.”
He nods his head like he knew this already and it makes me smile, “What’s that?” he points at a large exercise machine.
“Come with me and I’ll show you,” with a smile to Sutton we walk over to the machine he pointed at. “This is called a treadmill. When you turn it on, this belt moves on the bottom and you can walk fast or run on it to exercise.”
“Can I try?” he asks eyes big, looking at me and then Sutton for permission.
“Only if Zane says it’s okay.”
“Can I? Can I try it?”
“Sure, get on here and stand and put your hands on these bars right here.” He does so. “I’m going to turn it on and when I do it will immediately start moving. Be ready to start walking so you don’t fall, okay?”
“Okay,” he replies while staring down at his feet intently waiting for the belt to move. I can’t help chuckling and Sutton does too. Turning it on the lowest setting, Ryan does as he was told and begins walking then looks up at us with a huge smile on his face while still holding onto the sides. “I did it. I’m doing it.”
“You sure are, little man,” Sutton says and claps a couple times for him, which only makes him smile wider.
“I’m exercising,” he says.
“You sure are.” We watch him for a few moments and he wants me to make the machine faster and I do a couple of notches but then turn it off when he’s getting a bit braver than I’m comfortable with.
“Alright, how about I show you a few other things.”
“Okay,” Ryan says cheerfully finding the gym fascinating.
Turning, I take Sutton’s hand with intentions of walking over to the boxing gloves and bags to try them on Ryan, but I’m stopped when I make the mistake of looking up and over toward the octagon.
Like they’re watching a damn show every single one of those fuckers I call friends are staring at Sutton, Ryan and I. And it’s not like they’re all doing it while remaining where they were when I walked away. Oh no, they’re all in a line. Way to be casual morons.
I begin shaking my head silently telling them to not even think about it, but of course it’s just a wasted action. Once Jax moves toward me, the rest follow like ducklings following their mom. I’m going to tell them later that’s what they look like too. I don’t care if they try to beat my ass for it.
When Sutton sees them walking over, I can feel her freeze next to me.
“It’s okay, they’re just curious assholes,” I say softly enough so Ryan doesn’t hear.
“Hey Zane, who is this gorgeous woman that is holding your hand? Clearly you’ve got her drugged up or something in order for her to be paying attention to you.”
“Hilarious,” I say without humor narrowing my eyes at Jax.
“Allow me to introduce you,” Dylan says with a smile I want to punch off his stupid face. “Everyone, this stunning woman is Sutton. She and Zane are old friends. I thought we were his oldest friends but I guess he has others, who knew? I didn’t.” I roll my eyes. “Anyway, I digress. Sutton, this is-”
“Shut the fu-” I stop forgetting for a moment that a child is present. “Be quiet,” I state simply and Levi begins cracking up knowing I was going to drop an f bomb and just caught myself in time. Glaring at him for a second, I turn back to Dylan. “I can introduce her my damn---myself.” I’ve got to stop the swearing.
“Everyone this is Sutton and her son, Ryan. Sutton and Ryan, this is everyone. Now go the hell away. Shit. Oh my god. I’m sorry.”
Ryan’s eyes widen and he points at me, “You said bad words.”
“Yeah I did, buddy. I’m sorry. Come on, let’s go over here and-”
“No way, not so fast,” Ryder says with a wicked grin that I don’t really appreciate him directing at Sutton. He has a woman he needs to keep his eyes and stupid grin off of mine.
“Forgive us for being so nosy, but Zane never has a lady in here and in fact gives us a hard time when ours are visiting so I’ll be honest, we’re all curious. So tell us, who are you?”
“You already heard. Her name is Sutton. She’s mine,” I say feeling territorial when I don’t like the way Levi is watching her either. I get pissed off when Jax grins and Tyson outright laughs at my statement.
“Fuck off,” I mouth to them so Ryan doesn’t hear me, but that only makes it worse.
“Mommy, did Zane pay you a quarter too?” he asks and Sutton laughs outright.
“No, I didn’t make Zane pay to be my friend like you did.”
The guys all try to hide their smiles and laughs and they fail. Epically fail.
“Oh. Well you should have. I bet he would have paid a lot of quarters for you.”
“Maybe,” she says hiding a grin.
“Since clearly Zane is going to remain rude and want to keep you to himself, I’ll introduce myself. Hi, my name is Jax. Zane here is my oldest friend and if he ever mentioned me, he may have told you I own the gym you’re standing in. My woman’s name is Rowan and we have a daughter named, Lily – she’s almost two. I would love for you to meet the
m some time.”
“Hi Jax, I’ve heard a lot about you – and your wonderful gym. It’s nice to meet you too and I’d love to meet Rowan and Lily.”
“We’ll have to make it happen,” Jax says kindly.
“Hi, I’m Tyson, it’s nice to meet you.”
“You too.”
“Tyson’s fiancé is Sydney. Usually all these guys have their women here and don’t do anything but drool down their shirts the whole time. I don’t know why none of them are here today.”
Jax smirks, “I don’t think I’d be talking Zane. Looks like you’re about to join the drool club.”
Ignoring him, I turn to Cole when he begins talking to Sutton, “I’m Cole, nice to meet you. Nice to meet you too, Ryan.”
“You too,” Sutton says while Ryan smiles shyly from behind Sutton’s leg.
“Will you be at Zane’s fight?”
“I wouldn’t miss it.”
“Great. Then we’ll all have to introduce you to our significant other’s then. I know that Tatum would love to meet you.”
“I know that my Tessa would like to meet you too,” Ryder chimes in. “I’m Ryder, by the way.”
“Hi Ryder,” Sutton says and I watch her look from guy to guy and I’m sure she’s overwhelmed. I try to put myself in her shoes and turn to my friends. They’re all shirtless except for Jax and everyone is covered in tattoos. We’re a bit of an overwhelming bunch and I imagine she’s feeling just that right now.
Taking her hand, I squeeze it and look down at her with a smile. She squeezes it back and smiles up at me. Reluctantly looking away from her I find Jax looking at me with amusement in his eyes. I seriously want to give him a beat down. I don’t know what the hell he thinks is so funny. Actually, scratch that. I totally know which is why I need to avoid having to talk to him. I don’t want to hear it.
“Alright, she already met Dylan and Levi, so you all can go away now.”
“How old are you, Ryan?” Cole asks him.
He holds up four fingers, “I’m four years old.”
“Are you sure? I mean, you look like you’re at least six,” Tyson says to him with a smile.
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