“Can I see her?” I ask.
“Yes, you may.” For the first time, the doctor smiles. “She said your name when she was coming in and out of consciousness. She’s conscious, but groggy from the pain medications. Again, her blood loss was significant as I understood you witnessed at the scene based on the paramedics recounting of the events, and she suffered initial shock, but as I said is now stabilizing. But there is considerable soft tissue issue that causes swelling. I just want you to be prepared. ”
“Okay. Thank you. Thank you so much.”
Officers Jenkins and Ripley approach Dr. Wu clearly hearing that Sutton has been in and out of consciousness. “We’d like to talk to Ms. Reeves. The sooner we can get her statement, the better.”
Dr. Wu nods in understanding, “Fine, but only if she’s awake and able at this time. I can’t promise you what she’ll be able to communicate given the pain medicine. I insist that she not be pushed, if she can’t talk to you right now, then my recommendation is you wait. Do you understand.”
They both nod, “Of course.”
Dr. Wu nods, “Please follow me.”
Looking back at the guys briefly, “It’s okay if you want to leave, I have no idea how long I’ll be in there.”
“We’ll be here,” Tyson says as if it isn’t open for discussion. With a nod, I turn and follow Dr. Wu to Sutton.
We walk down the hallway, then another, and another still until we come to a room with glass walls and a door that slides open with a hiss at our approach.
Seeing Sutton lying on the bed looking small and frail makes me choke up. She has an oxygen cannula in her nose and she’s connected to all kinds of wires. Her hands are heavily bandaged and blood is still crusted in places. I can see other superficial wounds on her arms and a few places where they’ve placed gauze. Her eyes are closed and while one side of her face looks mostly normal with only some puffiness, the other is swollen two or three times its size. Two IVs are connected to her arm and blood continues to drip into the chamber on the tubing.
Moving immediately to her side, I gently cup the unmarked side of her face. She startles me when her eye opens, even if just partially.
“Hi,” I say softly.
She attempts a smile, but it just looks painful. She grimaces and her eyes fill with tears. When they spill down her cheeks I grab a Kleenex off the counter and softly catch them.
“You’re safe now,” I tell her. She nods softly and closes her eyes pushing more tears down her face. “There are a couple police officers that want to take your statement if you’re up for it. If not, I will tell them to come back later.”
Her eye opens as much as it can again and moves to the door. She must see them standing there as she nods and speaks in a extremely soft, broken whisper, “I’ll try.”
Gesturing for them to come in, they do so and take up position so they can make eye contact. They introduce themselves to her kindly. “Can you please tell us what transpired at your residence this morning, Ms. Reeves?”
She begins with hearing a pounding on her door then tells them about Nico letting himself in. They ask her how he did that and she explains he has had a key.”
She stops, just telling them that much seems to have exhausted her. I make them leave telling them they can continue this at another time.
“I’m so glad you’re okay,” I tell Sutton watching her eyes get heavier and heavier.
“Ryan…”
“He’s fine. Safe. Still with Rowan.”
She nods and when her eyes close again, they don’t reopen.
It isn’t until the next day that she’s able to speak to the police officers about what happened. It still exhausts her, but she gets through it.
As she gives them a play by play my hands clench at my sides tighter and tighter. Tears roll down her face as she tells them what occurred. Every punch, hit, kick, choke and smack makes me wish I had been there so I could have returned it ten fold.
She talks about reaching for the glass decanter and finally the broken piece of table top, his being startled by the knock at the door and him reaching toward her and falling on the glass. The terror in her eyes makes me swallow down bile that wants to rise in my throat as I picture everything she says detail by detail.
When she finishes talking about the incident they question her relationship with Nico and she tells of the role he’s had in her life over the years. She brings up the card counting, her arrest, his blackmailing, the casino he worked at – everything. Nothing is left unsaid and for a woman that’s on morphine, she does quite well relaying everything.
When she’s finished speaking the only sound is her sniffles as tears again roll down her cheeks. “I killed him,” she says, the shock clear in her tone.
“Thank you very much for telling us what happened, Ms. Reeves. We know that it was difficult for you. From our evaluation of the scene and your injuries, it’s clear you acted in self defense. We’ll need to process your home for a couple days, but we’ll be in touch with you soon. Please rest and get better,” Officer Jenkins says to her kindly.
“Here’s our card if anything else comes to mind that you would like to tell us. In the mean time, as Officer Jenkins said, we will be in touch,” Officer Ripley says kindly.
They leave and through the glass I see them approach Dr. Wu who is standing in the nurse’s triage area.
“I’m so tired,” she whispers.
“Rest,” I tell her and stroke her hair until her breathing becomes even. “I love you,” I tell her sleeping form.
Sitting in the chair next to her, I let out a heavy sigh and give in to the emotions that have been building up in me since I got her phone call and then got in her apartment door. I could have lost her. The thought almost brings me to my knees.
Wiping my face, I lose myself in watching her sleep just as I did with our son only yesterday morning, comforting myself by every rise and fall of her chest.
Zane hasn’t left my side since I’ve been here. Jax has brought him clothes, the nurses love him and have given him anything he wants. A bed, a shower, I bet they’d give him a sponge bath if he asked. Who am I kidding? I would too. The thought makes me smile for a minute, but then it falls.
I killed a man.
Thoughts of Nico and what happened at my apartment keep plaguing my mind. It’s not that I don’t expect it, what I went through was traumatic and awful but the thoughts bring such a mixture of emotions. The whole event feels surreal until the next pain or attempt to turn over or sit. At the moment I feel guilt and horror, but also sad and angry. Guilt for having killed him; and yet, the horror and terror felt with every blow invade both my waking and sleeping moments. My sadness causes confusion and my anger is perhaps, the result of many things. Is the source of this sadness that I was assaulted and treated so horribly or that it all ended so terribly? I’m angry at the rage Nico thrust upon my person that resulted in such injuries. I also feel anger at myself for allowing things to get so far that this could have occurred and anger that for whatever reason Nico tormented me and that it all ended in something so horrific. My mind continues to whirl with emotions. I think it will require time and likely therapy for me to figure this all out and come through on the other side healthy.
I’ve shed a lot of tears over the last five days. The day after my injuries, funnily enough after I spoke to the police about what happened, I spiked a fever and showed some signs of post-concussion so I had to stay a few more days for them to watch me and for them to administer antibiotics in case of infection.
I feel physically stronger each day, but I’m still very sore. I don’t have to take morphine any longer, which is good because it tended to make me feel a little loopy, but the occasional vicodin is my friend.
I haven’t seen Ryan since I’ve been here, and I miss him terribly. I didn’t want him to be scared by seeing his mommy in the hospital or to see what I looked like, though I am told that the injuries may look worse before they appear better. Rowan says he’s
fine and I’ve spoken to him on the phone, but I want to hold him in my arms
While Zane has been here, we’ve yet to talk about anything important. He’s kept everything light and airy. A couple times when thoughts of what transpired at the apartment came to mind he’d hold me while I cried my heart out. He’d kiss me on my head, whisper soothing words to me, remind me that I’m okay and that I’m safe. I am grateful to him.
I heard what he told me when he arrived at my place. I heard him tell me he loves me. That we would work through this and I am holding onto those words although part of me is fearful he only said them due to the extremely emotional circumstances.
All the guys and their girlfriends have been here to visit. It made me feel good even though I know they are more worried about Zane and how he’s doing than me, but I still appreciate it never the less.
I’m currently waiting to get released from the hospital. I can’t wait to get out of here although I’m a little nervous about returning to my place, I know that’s exactly what I need to do. I have a number of restrictions, but between Ryan’s nanny and Vanessa, I should be fine.
Here she is,” Zane says as he watches Nurse Jamie walk into the room. She’s holding paperwork that I know are my release instructions and follow-up care guidelines. Sitting up higher I smile at her.
“Alright, Sutton, you ready to get out of here?”
“You know it,” I tell her with a smile.
“All I need is your signature on this release form and for you to listen to me inform you of your discharge instructions.”
“You got it.” She tells me what I need to do to care for my wounds and stitches and everything else on my body that was injured. My voice is still raspy from being choked, but Dr. Wu said that it would fade with time. I’ll have to make an appointment with my PCP at his office to get my stitches out and other than that I am to follow-up if I have recurrent headaches or increasing pain. I sign the form and am told we can leave.
“Great,” I tell her and turn to the bag I’ve already packed eager to get going.
“Someone’s ready to go,” Zane teases me.
“You bet. Let’s go.”
“Not so fast,” Nurse Jamie says before she disappears into the hallway and returns with a wheelchair.
“Seriously?”
“Hospital rules. You have to be escorted out in a wheelchair.”
“Oh my gosh,” I roll my eyes but Zane grins.
“I bet we could pop some wheelies in that thing.”
“Don’t you dare. I’m already damaged enough,” I tell him and then want to hit myself when I see the amusement fade from his eyes and this horrified look enter it that he’s been sporting more often than not lately.
“Zane…”
“Let’s go,” he tells me ignoring my pointed stare.
He helps me into the chair and is wheeling me down the hallways in no time with a transporter close beside. And to my delight and laughter, he does lift the front wheels up and makes me do a couple wheelies.
“Wait here,” he says when he wheels me to the curb. “I’m going to go drive up to the curb
“I can walk to the damn car.”
“No. You can’t.”
With a sigh, I watch as he jogs away to get the car and try to sit patiently as I chit chat with the transporter. When he pulls up, he exits the car, comes to the curb side, opens the front passenger door then lifts me from the wheelchair and places me inside the car. “This is not necessary.”
“Hush,” he admonishes. “Let me take care of you.”
We’re quiet on the drive to my place, both lost in our own thoughts. When he enters the code to drive through the gates of the community I start to feel anxiety set in. I feel my hands tremble and put my thighs on them hoping they will stop. Rationally I know I have nothing to fear, but memories of what happened rush through my mind like a slide show.
“We’re here,” he says before he takes a look at me. A real look. “Hey are you okay”?
“Yes,” I say quickly. “Just a little… a little…”
“Freaked out?” “Yeah. I suppose that’s as good a way to describe it as any.”
“It’s okay, I’ll hold your hand every step of the way.”
He gets out of the car, removes my belonging from the trunk, and comes to my side to assist me. We walk to the door of my apartment. Zane had told me I had a new door and it looks just like the last.
He pushes open the door ignoring the keys I’m holding and even though he walks inside, I stand in the threshold paralyzed, afraid to move.
Staring at the spot where Nico and I were last lying, I see it’s completely cleaned up and even a new table was purchased to replace the old one. A new vase, picture frame and coffee table books are also in place, I note.
Movement catches my attention and when I turn toward it it’s to find Sydney dusting my living room. Tessa walks out of the bathroom with a cleaning cloth slung over her shoulder. Rowan is in the kitchen and it appears she’s cooking away while Jax stands behind her and asks for a taste. Tyson has a huge coffee maker in a box and is unpacking it.
My eyes well up. I’ve never… I’ve never had anyone take care of me like this. Zane turns to me and smiles when he sees my face and shrugs, “I couldn’t keep them away. Believe me I tried.”
They didn’t notice the door open, my new door that doesn’t make a sound as it opened, but when they hear Zane’s voice they turn toward me, “You’re home!” Tatum calls and walks to me, they all do. I’m passed from person to person as each gives me a hug and tells me they’re so happy I’m okay.
I can’t help but feel like I don’t deserve this, or them. I hurt their friend – how can they be so nice to me? When I look at Zane, it’s to find him smiling.
When he looks past me and smiles it suddenly dawns on me that if Rowan is here, then so is Ryan.
I begin to turn around just as I hear, “Mommy!”
I pause for a moment a bit afraid for what his reaction will be when seeing me, but Zane and I talked about this. It’s going to take a while for me to heal and I don’t want to wait that long to see him. I know he will ask and maybe be afraid, but we will keep the details as simple as possible. Plus Zane told me he asked Rowan to give him a little bit of a heads up.
When I face him, his little face falls just a little. His bottom lip pokes out a bit and his eyes get glassy. He rushes to me and I bend down to pick him up ignoring the jerking pain in my shoulder, side and stomach. I just want to hold my baby. He hugs me tight and emotion makes my eyes blurry.
He leans away from me and stares at me before very gently placing his hands on either side of my face, “Rowan told me you were hurt, Mommy. I don’t like it when you’re hurt.”
“I know, baby. I don’t like it either. I know it looks bad, but mommy will be okay.”
“Why are you hurt mommy? You are hurt here,” he touches my cheek, “and here,” he touches under my eye, “and here,” he touches the bruising at my neck. “So many places.”
“I know, but I’m already doing better. I’ll be okay.”
“Why are you hurt? What happened?”“A bad person hurt mommy, but he’s gone now and I’m going to be fine. I just have to be careful and take it easy and rest until I’m all better.”
“Nico is bad, mommy.”
My heart falls and I look at Zane. My little man is far smarter than I give his almost five-year-old self credit for. I’m too choked up to answer, but Zane swoops in.
“You don’t ever have to worry about Nico again, little dude.”
“He’s gone? He moved away?”I swallow my tears.
“He’s gone,” Zane nods.
“Okay,” he says with a nod. “Can we eat now? I’m hungry. Rowan said she is making lunch and I could have a grilled cheese.”
He smiles so wide at the simple thrill of a sandwich and I can’t help it, I laugh too. It’s full of love for him and relief.
“Yes, come eat,” Rowan says.
While he does just that, Zane walks me to my room, “Are you coming to eat?” Ryan turns to ask us.
“Yes, I’ll be back, but I want to put your mommy in her room to rest first, okay?”
“Okay,” he says and runs into the kitchen.
All these people here make my apartment seem very small.
Zane walks me down the hall and into my room closing the door behind us. As soon as it’s closed he takes me in his arms and the tears I was holding back fall freely and steadily. He rubs my back soothingly until I get them out.
“You have to do that for me a lot lately.”
“I’m happy to.”
“It’s hard being here… after…”
“I know. For me too. Seeing you like that…”
“How is it all replaced?”
“All our friends have been here cleaning, cooking, purchased items to replace it, you name it. They’ve been busy the last couple days. You’ve got so much food in your fridge and freezer we’ll be set on meals for a while.”
“It’s been a very long time since it felt like I had a family. I will make sure they know how thankful I am.”
“They already know.”
He walks me to the bed and when I ask he helps me change into some comfortable pajama shorts and a top then gets me settled in bed.
“Get some rest. I’m going to eat something really quick and then I’ll bring you something. I’ll make sure Ryan eats up. Okay?”
I want to ask him to stay. I want to ask him to talk to me, I’m so eager to talk about things, but I chicken out and simply nod.
“Oh, and on your nightstand, you’ll find some cards from your kids at the orphanage. They are all wishing you a speedy recovery. I made sure I took care of talking to your work for you.”
“Oh, Zane. Thank you.” I spend the next several minutes reading the well wishes from the kids and smiling at how lucky I am to have them in my life.
Fighting Greed Page 23