Shut Out

by Kody Keplinger

  “Well, it is a good plan,” Susan said. “I mean, it will probably work.”

  “I don’t know.” Mary Grisham’s voice was barely loud enough for me to hear over the flutter of whispers at the table. She was a tiny junior with huge blue eyes and dark chocolate–colored hair. I looked at her, smiling, urging her to continue. She shifted nervously in her seat and said a little louder, “I, um… I can’t really do anything,” she said. “Finn and I aren’t sleeping together, so I don’t—”

  “Seriously?” Chloe said, gawking. “You and Finn have been together for, like, nine months, right? And you haven’t even gotten it on once?”

  Mary shook her head.

  “Is he, like, gay?” Chloe asked.

  “Just because they haven’t slept together yet doesn’t make either of them gay.” It came out sounding harsher than I meant it. I glanced at Mary again, then addressed the rest of the table. “I’m sure some of the rest of you are in the same boat, right?”

  More silence.

  I had to stop counting after ten seconds. I just didn’t get it. These were the same girls who called Chloe a whore for having too much sex. I could see their eyes on Mary. See the mocking or disapproving expressions. Like her virginity was a bad thing.

  “Well, thank you for being honest,” I told Mary as her cheeks turned redder and redder. “It’s cool that you’re waiting. I know a lot of girls lie about it, so I respect your honesty.”

  “You’re welcome,” Mary mumbled.

  “Oh, honey.” Chloe sighed. “That’s cute, but you don’t know what you’re missing.”

  I elbowed Chloe in the ribs and said loudly to Mary, “But you can still participate. Just don’t do other stuff. Don’t, um… Don’t go down on him or touch his…” I felt like my face was on fire. I took a deep breath and forced myself to keep going. “No hand jobs. Or anything he might enjoy too much. If kissing is all you do, don’t make out with him. You’ll find a way. You don’t have to be having sex to make it work. Trust me.”

  “But won’t they get mad?” one of the girls asked.

  “Yeah, they will. And then won’t they cheat on us?”

  “I don’t want that.”

  “I do. Then maybe I’ll finally be off the hook for kissing that kid from Oak Hill.”

  “Stop, stop, stop,” Chloe said over the growing wave of panicked voices. “Look, maybe I’m not an expert, since I’m not in a relationship or whatever, but is this really something you’re worried about? If so, that is seriously fucked up.”

  “Girls like you are the reason we have to worry,” Kelsey muttered.

  Chloe turned an icy glare on her. “Despite what you think of me, I’ve never slept with another girl’s boyfriend. And I would never sleep with Terry—whiny ass-kissers aren’t my type.” She looked at the rest of the girls again. “Seriously, if the bastards cheat on you, then they don’t deserve you anyway. If that’s a legit fear, then you probably shouldn’t be with them to begin with.”

  “Lissa,” Susan said, “what about you? Aren’t you afraid Randy will cheat if you do this?”

  “No,” I said. Though I think I sounded a little more certain than I felt. “I’m not. He loves me. Something like this won’t change that. Besides, this will help the boys in the long run, too. They’re victims here. But unless we do something, something to force them out of the war, they’ll never end it. This is our best option, and a good boyfriend won’t hold the no-sex thing against you.”

  “Seriously,” Chloe said. “I mean, I like sex probably about as much as any boy does, and even I know a little bit of abstinence isn’t something to end a relationship over. That’d be pretty fucked up.”

  “Easy for you to say,” Kelsey snapped. “Have you ever even been in a relationship, Chloe? A real one. One that continues even after you put your clothes back on.”

  “You know what? Screw you, Kelsey. I don’t have to be in a relationship to know that a guy is a dick if he dumps you because you won’t put out. And no matter what you think of me, I won’t be the one the boys run to when they want to get some. Because… because I’m going to do it. What Lissa said. I’m going to play along. No sex.”

  I gaped at Chloe, amazed. “Seriously?”

  “Yep. I’m in.”

  “Me, too.”

  I turned to my right and saw Ellen watching me with her hazel eyes. Something in them seemed skeptical, and I wondered if I’d misunderstood her. Then she shook her head and the flicker of disbelief was gone.

  “I’m sick of this fighting. It’s definitely crossed a line.” She gave me a meaningful look before adding, “I think a sex strike is a great idea, and I can try to get some of the other soccer players’ girlfriends in on it. I bet they’ll help. We’re all fed up.”

  “R-really?” I beamed at her, half in shock. “Ellen, thank you so much.”

  After that, a lot of people seemed to hop on the bandwagon.

  “I’ll do it,” Susan said. “Damn, Lissa, you’ve got some brains. I never would have thought of this.”

  “I’m in. It’ll make this season more entertaining at least.”

  “I guess I’ll do it. Maybe end-of-rivalry sex will be even better than make-up sex.”

  I ducked my head to hide the blush creeping up my face. How could these girls be so open about their sex lives? I barely even talked about mine with Chloe. Hell, I couldn’t even say the words for the things I was doing with Randy without cringing.

  “We need to make a pact or something,” Chloe said. “Like, an oath. We need to swear to abstain from all sexual activities.”

  “What do we swear on?” Susan asked. “The Bible?”

  “That’s kind of inappropriate,” I managed to joke. “Considering what we’re swearing about and all.”

  “Here.” Ellen placed her backpack on the table and unzipped it. After a few seconds of digging, she pulled out a new issue of Cosmo and tossed it onto the table. “It’s the sex-tips issue. Includes a nice list of all the things we can’t do. We can swear on it.”

  Chloe picked up the magazine. “Sweet,” she said, flipping through the pages. She paused and visibly cringed. “Ugh. No, don’t try that. Trust me, not as great as it sounds.”

  I grabbed the magazine from Chloe, half wondering and half afraid to see what she was talking about. I held it up for everyone to see. “Okay,” I said. “So we’ll all take a vow. I’ll lay out the rules, and if you agree, you put your hand on the magazine and say, ‘I do.’ Got it?”

  Most of the girls nodded.

  I placed the magazine on the table, putting my hand over the model’s face on the cover. “I hereby swear to abstain from all forms of sexual activity. This includes but is not limited to anything involving body parts below the belt. That’s either party’s belt. Oh, and second base is outlawed, too. Nothing, um, under the shirt.” I forced myself to continue, despite the way this speech made my face heat up. “I’ll stand my ground, even in the toughest of times, and will resist temptation until the rivalry is put to an end.”

  I slid the magazine to Ellen, still feeling a little anxious when our eyes met. But I couldn’t let my composure falter right now. Not with all these girls watching.

  I cleared my throat for, like, the millionth time that afternoon. “Do you agree?” I asked.

  “I do,” Ellen said solemnly.

  She passed it on to Susan. “I do.”

  Susan passed it to the girl to her right. “I do.”

  “I do.”

  “I do.”

  When it came to Mary, I saw her hesitate for a minute. She looked at me, took a breath, and placed her hand on the magazine. “I do.”

  Then she passed it to Kelsey.

  “Just pass it on if you’re too chicken,” Chloe taunted. “You call me a whore, but you’re more hesitant about giving up sex than I am.”

  “Shut up,” Kelsey hissed. “Give me that.” She yanked the magazine toward her and put her hand in the dead center of the cover. Her eyes locked with Chloe
’s as she said, “I. Do.”

  Chloe grinned.

  To my amazement, after so much disagreement, all eleven girls at the table—plus me—wound up making the oath. Chloe was the last, and she grinned at me as she swore to be celibate. I knew it would be a challenge for her more than anyone.

  But looking at the others, I knew Chloe couldn’t have been the only girl who liked sex. So many others had been hesitant to agree right away. Surely some of the girls had the same reason as Chloe, even if the others were reluctant out of fear of losing their boyfriends. I wondered what the ratio was—how many of the girls just didn’t want to give up sex versus the ones who were afraid of being cheated on.

  And I wondered why Chloe was the only girl willing to come out and say she liked sex. Maybe because the others knew she was called a slut or a whore for liking it so much? But I didn’t understand that, either. Like Chloe said, it wasn’t like she slept with other girls’ boyfriends.

  I also wanted to know why Mary had been the only one willing to confess the opposite—her virginity. Because I didn’t think for a second that she was the only one at the table who hadn’t yet made that leap.

  When everyone had sworn on the magazine, I handed it back to Ellen. “You can make the soccer girls take the same oath,” I said.

  “Sure thing.” She tucked the magazine into her backpack again.

  “All right,” I said. “So here we go. I’m thinking we should all keep in touch via e-mail. We’ll need a support group to get through this, and it’ll keep us organized. But I definitely think we are onto something here. We can win this way.”

  “For your sake,” Kelsey said, getting to her feet just as the bell for third block rang, “I hope so. This better work, Lissa.”

  “It will,” I assured her. “I know it will.”

  The girls began to move in a herd toward the door. I started to turn to Chloe, who was still sitting at the table with me, then noticed Ellen, lingering uncertainly near the library door.

  “Hey,” I said, walking over to her. I’d picked up my pen again and was already spinning the cap. “Thanks for coming. I know this is all really weird. The football girlfriends and being around me and… whatever.”

  “I’ll always come if you want me to, Liss.” She gave another small smile and put a hand on my shoulder, squeezing it briefly. Then she turned and left the library.

  I thought I’d lost Ellen for good because of this feud. Because our boyfriends hated each other. But maybe, I realized, I could end the war and get a friend back at the same time. The thought made me smile.

  Chloe eased up beside me. “You ready for AP Bio?”

  “Sure,” I said, turning to face her. “Thanks, by the way. For agreeing to this.”

  “Yeah. You owe me.”

  “Well, at least the stupid fight will be over soon,” I said. “Won’t that make up for it?”

  Chloe rolled her eyes. “Lissa, I couldn’t care less about the problems between the teams. I know it’s stupid, and I know it affects you, but it doesn’t really have an impact on me, since I’m not really committed to any of the boys.” She shrugged. “I didn’t do this to end the fighting. I did it because I know it’s important to you. And you’re important to me.”

  I smiled. “Thank you, Chloe.”

  “Yeah, yeah,” she said, picking up her messenger bag. “I also did it just to spite Kelsey, so it wasn’t totally selfless. I hate that bitch.”

  I laughed.

  “Come on,” she said. “Mr. Hall will flip his shit if we’re late.”

  chapter six

  That afternoon, as Chloe and I walked out to the student parking lot after last block, Randy jogged up behind us. “Hey, Lissa, hold up a sec.”

  We stopped, and I turned to face him. “Yes?”

  He came to a halt a few feet from me, looking momentarily confused. “Something wrong?” he asked. “You look upset.”

  “It’s noth—ow!” Chloe had just elbowed me hard in the side, and now she gave me a stern look. I sighed. “Okay, fine. Yes, I’m a little upset, Randy.”

  “Shit. What did I do?”

  “Okay, my work here is done. I’ll give you two some privacy.” Chloe brushed past me and walked over to her convertible. I saw her climb onto the hood and pull her long legs up to her chest.

  “So what’s wrong?” Randy asked. He was already dressed in his workout clothes for football practice.

  I kicked at a small chunk of loose pavement, a little harder than I’d intended, and it skittered across the parking lot, colliding with a Dumpster a few feet away with a loud thud.

  “Didn’t your mother teach you to use your words?” Randy joked.

  I looked at him sharply.

  “I—Sorry,” he said. “I know you don’t like to talk about… sorry.” He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “Let’s rewind. What’s wrong? What did I do? Tell me.”

  “Look,” I said, forcing the word out of my mouth. Chloe was right. I needed to open up and tell Randy how I felt. “It’s just… I’m not cool with being your…” My eyes stayed trained on my hands, where they wound and unwound in a steady rhythm near my waist. “Your booty call.”

  “Booty call?”

  “Last night,” I reminded him. “My room. You bribed me with flowers before ditching me. You were there; I’m sure you remember.”

  Suddenly, the lightbulb clicked on over his head. “What? That? That wasn’t a booty call, babe. It’s only a booty call if you’re not with the girl. But we’re in love, so it’s cool.”

  “Not to me,” I muttered. “It hurt. I felt used. I’m tired of you ditching me for this stupid fight, Randy. It really bothered me last night. It’s been bothering me for a while, actually.” I stared at my feet and shoved my hands in my pockets so I’d stop wringing them.

  “Lissa…”

  I looked up at him.

  Randy shuffled his feet and rubbed the back of his neck with one hand. “Okay, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for you to feel that way. Can I make it up to you?”

  “How?”

  “Let me take you out Friday. Like, on a nice date.”

  “Randy—”

  “Seriously, Lissa. I mean it. Let me try again. Please?”

  I sighed and shifted my weight from one foot to the other. “Well… okay.”

  “Cool,” he said, leaning forward and kissing me on the cheek. “I’ll pick you up at seven, okay? Dress up. We’ll go somewhere nice. Mom is going to some work retreat this weekend, so we’ll have the house to ourselves if you want to come back to my place after.”

  “Sounds good.”

  “Great. Well, I have to get to practice. I’ll see you around.”

  I let him give me a quick kiss on the lips before he ran back toward the double doors that led into the gym.

  When he was gone, I turned and walked over to Chloe’s car. “Let’s go,” I said, smacking the hood of the black convertible. “I can’t be late for work.”

  Chloe slid off the hood as I got into the passenger’s seat.

  “Now, Lissa, was that so hard?” she asked.

  “Yes… but I’m glad I did it. You were right; it is better for me to just be honest with him.”

  “When am I ever wrong?”

  “Well, there was that time last year when you attempted to convince me that Harrison Carlyle was straight by going up to him at The Nest and trying to—”

  “Hey, hey!” Chloe raised a hand to silence me. “We do not talk about that night.” She sighed. “I should have known when he told me what kind of shampoo would help with my frizz.”

  “So you can be wrong.”

  “Rarely,” she said. “And I wasn’t wrong in this situation—so there.” She winked at me and laughed. “It’s good to know that my dreaded Hallmark moments do pay off.”

  I rolled my eyes at her.

  She started the engine and pulled out of the parking lot, heading toward the Hamilton Public Library, where I shelved books every Tuesday and Thursday. S
ince I couldn’t afford a car and Randy had football practice, Chloe usually gave me a ride.

  That’s how Chloe and I had started hanging out, actually. She heard me talking about needing a ride at the lunch table last year and volunteered to drive me. At first I was kind of nervous. I knew the rumors about Chloe, and I was sure being alone with her would be totally awkward. Like, her car would be full of condom wrappers or freaky sex toys or something. Not exactly the kind of girl I’d usually hang out with.

  But I’d misjudged her. Chloe was shockingly normal. She listened to Top 40 radio, wanted to see the same movies I did, and, aside from a few empty bottles of Diet Coke on the floorboard, kept her car fairly clean. Nothing really set her apart from any of the other girls whose cars I’d ridden in. And, honestly, after talking to her during that first car ride, I’d realized how much I liked her. Chloe started driving me home or to work every afternoon, and within a few weeks, she was my new best friend.

  “So Friday, huh?” she said as we sped past the Fifth Street movie rental with the top down and the radio blasting an old Backstreet Boys song.

  It was ninety degrees outside, normal for late August, and I was already dreading the cooler days of autumn that would be coming all too soon.

  “Were you eavesdropping?” I asked, unconsciously popping open the glove box the way I always did when I got in Chloe’s car.

  “Of course I was… and will you get out of there?”

  “I’m just looking for a CD.”

  “No, you’re not. You’re alphabetizing them.” She reached over and swatted at my hand and, with a sigh, I shut the compartment. “So if the strike starts ASAP, it looks like your date will be interesting. Poor Randy. He’s got that empty house and everything.”

  “We’ll still go to his house,” I said. “Maybe we’ll watch a movie or something.”

  “Yeah, I’m sure that’s an alternative he’ll be thrilled with.” She laughed and grabbed a cigarette from a pack on the dash. “Shane wants me to come over to his place Friday night, too,” she said, lighting up and taking a drag. “I told him I’d love to, but the idiot isn’t going to know what hit him when I don’t give it up.”