by K. Ries
Shaking my head, I took the bag. There wasn't anything to say. My brother's hand landed on my shoulder, and he turned us towards the restrooms. "Grab a drink of water and calm down. You know she'll talk to you."
Rather than waste my breath, I headed for the bathroom. This Summer was turning into a disaster.
Four - Marissa
Being inside the Galleria without visiting Aiden was weird. Everywhere I looked was somewhere we had been together. Shaking myself out of the daze I tried to pay attention to what Becky was talking about, but focusing on her was difficult especially since we were here. She was going on and on about what she was going to do in the fall when ___deserted her for college in California. It wasn't like he wouldn't be back. He was as head over heels in love with Becky as she was with him.
Sighing to myself, I followed her into yet another store. Thankfully we were upstairs and not downstairs. That meant I didn't have to deal with accidentally running into Aiden. We hadn't talked since I heard his confession to his brother Casey. There was no way Aiden was in love with me. It couldn't be possible.
"What do you think?" Becky's voice broke through my thoughts as she held up a jean jacket that had the side panels cut out. It looked truly horrible. I scrunched up my nose.
"Nuh-uh. Not that one.." Turning towards the jackets, I pushed some aside, looking for one that would suit her. Grabbing a bright green one, I held it up in front of her. "Perfect."
My best friend looked down at the jacket, then back up to me with a sigh, her bob of red hair shifting to the side as she pouted. "Why are you so much better at this than me? Are you sure you want to go into Political Science and not fashion and design? You'd totally rock it."
Laughing I spun toward another rack to grab a shirt. "Absolutely. Fashion is fun to play with, but for a job?" I shook my head. "I don't think so."
Becky sighed again. "Maybe you should think about it. Are you sure you want to go all the way up north for school? There are schools in the south that can you switch to."
She grabbed the shirt I'd handed out her to and we took her purchases to the counter, our arms already bogged down with new clothes and other stuff she needed for school, what I would need for a new adventure. "It's not that I don't love the south. I'll always be a Southerner," I told her as we waited in line. "There's an entire world I want to explore. We can't stay in one small town forever."
"There's a lot of good things here, Rissa. Just because it's not for you doesn't mean it's not for everyone else. I love it here. And I'm happy to be going to school only an hour away."
Frustration crawled up my spine. "And I wasn't saying you shouldn't love it here, or in Louisiana. I'm just saying, I want something else."
We stepped up to the counter and I waited while Becky paid for her purchases. It was a pain not to be understood by so many. Didn't they get there was a whole world outside of Pine Grove just waiting for us to see? They couldn't see past our tiny little parish. It was a dot on the map no one thought much about. I wanted better. We left __ and headed for the elevator. "I'm starving. Want to grab something to eat? Then we can shop some more?"
"Sure. We should put our stuff in my car first."
"Alright. Are you thinking burgers or Pizza?"
Thinking, we headed for one of the doors so we could go out to the parking lot. "Hot dogs and onion rings. I've eaten so many burgers this break already."
Becky laughed as we pushed through the double doors into the heat outside. It was like stepping into a can of soup. Which meant it was going to storm. Perfect. We walked out to my car, the parking lot already full, and put our bags in the trunk.
"Speaking of eating on break, how's Aiden."
Crap. I was hoping she wouldn't ask. "Fine as far as I know."
Becky looped one of her arms through mine as we headed back inside. "Does he know you're leaving?"
Biting my lip, I nodded. "He's mad at me, I think. I told him I was leaving and he asked when then got this look on his face."
"Uh oh. So did you tell him yet?"
Sighing, I shook my head. "Absolutely not. I can't." Becky pulled away from me to smack me on the arm. She was one of only two people who knew how I felt about Aiden.
"Marissa, you're about to be gone. Tell him."
"No. There's too much time. I'll tell him the day I leave." That was the smart thing to do, right?
"That's not fair to him. Come on. You guys would make a cute couple. I've told you that a million times."
"He's my best friend, I can't lose him." She held the door open and we headed for the hot dog on a stick stand.
"Telling him on the last day you're in town isn't fair to him."
"It's fair to my heart." She scoffed at me as we waited in line, our conversation dropping.
Opening my mouth, I went to tell her about what I overhead two days ago, but I couldn't. Instead, I asked her, "You working tonight? Not that I mind when Ben is working, but I like it better when you are."
"Yeah, Jen scheduled me for the next few nights."
We stepped up to the counter to order, and waited for our food, then went to find a table.
As we ate, we talked about other things, carefully staying clear of the topic of Aiden and me leaving. I wanted to talk to him in the worst way, ask him if what he said was true, but I couldn't. Becky went to say something, a fry halfway to her lips when she stopped talking, looking past me. Following her line of sight, I turned in my chair. "Aiden."
My best friend stepped up to our table and dropped a pink and white bag onto it. "That's for you."
He walked away without saying anything else, and I watched him walk away, eyes darting between the bag in front of me and Aiden's retreating figure as he headed for Orange Julius to get his usual lunchtime drink.
Five - Aiden
The one person I hadn't expected to see when I went on my lunch break was Marissa. She hadn't been around in two days. Even at home, her car was never where it was supposed to be. It was like she was already gone. I was going to throw the going away present and my letter away, but she was right there, having lunch with Becky instead of me. Dropping the bag onto the table was an impulse I was starting to regret. Shaking it off, I headed to grab a drink and my lunch, deciding I'd just use the backroom of the shop, rather than subject myself to being in Marissa's orbit again. We hadn't talked since she'd heard my confession to my brother and there were only a few days before she left for the first time and then two weeks before she was gone for good.
Putting the letter in the bag was a calculated move, but Marissa was determined to get out of this town, always had been, so the letter probably won't make a damn bit of difference. I could feel her eyes on me as I waited for my food and tried not to squirm or look back at her. My feelings had gotten me into trouble and now I had to deal with the consequences and the fallout. Grabbing my food, I thanked Dani and left the food court, not acknowledging Marissa or Becky again.
After lunch, work slowed way down so I only had myself for company. Since my brain had a one-track mind since the other day, I decided I would just put everything out of my mind completely. Cleaning needed to get done and so did putting out and reorganizing the crates. Putting on a mixtape of Poison and Bon Jovi, I sat about getting to work. I had to stop a few times to help some people but otherwise, it was a boring Tuesday afternoon. Seven o'clock rolled around and I began closing up, wondering if I should head to Skateland but decided against it. She didn't want to see me, I wouldn't make it awkward. After I shut the metal gates, I left work and the Galleria. Everything would work out for the best, right?
TUESDAY ROLLED INTO Thursday before I knew it, still no Marissa. I worked and filled out my school applications. Having lunch alone sucked, but seeing as I'd be doing that at school, I had to get used to it. Since there wasn't anything playing this weekend I wanted to see, and she would be gone, I didn't bother to make movie plans this weekend. Victoria posted next week's shifts and I groaned at all the time off I would have. What the hell w
ould I do with my time? Queuing up the next tape, I tapped my pen along to the beat of the music in between filling out questions. Housing wasn't going to be an issue if ___ was to be believed. A blessing in disguise I suppose. The chime we had for new customers beeped, so I stashed my papers, looking up, smile in place. It dropped when Becky walked in.
"Hey."
Her green eyes stared at me to the point it was getting awkward before she turned and headed for the crates. She stepped back up to the counter, slapping a record down. "You need to talk to Rissa."
Counting to ten in my head, I debated on how to answer her.
"If Marissa wants to talk to me, she can come and talk to me. She doesn't need to send you to talk to me, for her."
Becky scoffed, pushing her purchase towards me. "I'm not talking for her, I'm talking for me. My friend is sad, and she's going to go up to D.C being sad. Sad people do stupid things, Aiden."
Shaking my head, I rang up her purchase. Something from our pop section. "Marissa is far from sad and she wouldn't do something stupid." Biting my lip, I added. "At least I don't think so."
"She's a smart woman, so no she wouldn't do anything completely stupid. But she is sad."
"She doesn't want to talk to me right now, Becky. If you're worried about her going to D.C go with her."
Becky pushed back her hair, rocking from foot to foot. "I can't. I'm the one filling in for her so she can go."
"Can't someone else?" She laughed.
"Do you think Marissa would let Ben or someone else touch her equipment? Because there is no way in hell she would."
That sounded exactly like Marissa. The turntables she used had been her dad's. They were precious to her. "Fair enough. I'm just not sure what you want me to do here Becky. If she's sad about leaving, then she shouldn't go."
"You.." Becky grabbed her bag from the counter. "You're an idiot Aiden."
She stormed out of the store, leaving me staring after her. Maybe I'd been playing dumb, but Becky couldn't know how I felt. Unless Marissa had told her. And if Marissa was sad about something, she'd tell me eventually. Right?
Paying the conversation no mind, I went back to my applications and listening to the music that pumped out of the speakers. Even though Thursday was a little better than Tuesday it was still slow. I was starting to second guess putting in hours during the week. It gave me too much thinking time. When my break hit, instead of staying at the store or going down to the food court, I took a lap around both floors of the mall, just to see what the other stores were promoting. I waved to those I knew and smiled at those I didn't. It was a nice head-clearing break and gave me time to myself. Everywhere I looked I saw Marissa and me, laughing and having a good time. Knowing she was leaving and we'd never see the Galleria evolve or walk the floors together again, hurt. But she wanted and always wanted out. Her staying in town was never a possibility but when she showed up on my first day of school the second year, that's when I started to think maybe we could have something. Even if I never told her how I felt. It was stupid of me to hope.
Six- Marissa - Two weeks later
Please Don't Go. It would crush me not to have you here with me.
Sitting in my car outside the Galleria, the words to Aiden's letter played through my head over and over. It was his words pouring out on paper that had kept me up more than work this week. More than packing. Going to D.C was important, but how could I leave him. My brain was a mess, and so was my heart. Looking over at the building, I sighed. I had to say goodbye to him. It wasn't fair. We hadn't said a word to each other since he dropped the gift bag in my lap the day I was out shopping with Becky. Now, I was leaving. For good. I'd get to experience and see fall for the first time in years. There was an entire world waiting for me. Yet, I couldn't let go of this one. Of him. Pushing open my door, I got out of the car, then just took a deep breath. Could I let him go? Could I get back in my car, drive away and leave him behind for good?
Taking careful steps, I headed inside. Friday afternoon meant the mall was busy in some places, slow in others. Stopping once again at Baskin robins, I picked up ice cream for Aiden and a milkshake for me, thankful to have something to do with my hands, and took a slow walk towards Tape World. Perhaps Aiden was no longer mad at me, or he'd moved on. Hopefully, it wasn't the latter. Sipping from the vanilla milkshake in my hand, a million scenarios played in my head, all of them catastrophically bad. They all ended in rejection. Stopping in front of __I took a deep breath and headed two stores down. Aiden wasn't working the counter, making me frown. Usually, he was always upfront. Maybe Vikki needed him to move something in the back. Poking my head in, I asked. "Aiden around?"
She nodded, the bun on top of her head bobbing up and down. "He's in the back. Inventory is on him this month." Picking up the phone next to her, I faintly heard it ring in the back and Aiden's muttered curse.
He walked out a few minutes later. His dark hair was disheveled, and a stain on his Khaki's. When he saw me, his green eyes narrowed. "I'm taking my break." he snapped at Victoria.
She tapped a long nail on the counter, clearly bored and used to whatever mood he was in. "I figured as much." Vikki turned around to straighten something as Aiden nodded to head out.
Turning on my toes, I left the store still holding his ice cream. When he stepped up next to me, I passed him his cup of rapidly melting chocolate. "It's not a bribe this time. And it's not to make up for whatever I have to make up for. I thought it would cheer you up."
Our fingers brushed when he grabbed the cup and I had to bite my lip to fight back a curse. "Thank you. Shouldn't you be on the road by now?"
Looking down at our shoes, I followed as Aiden began to walk. To my surprise, he headed for the doors and outside. "I didn't want to leave without talking to you first."
His shoulders sagged as he sat down, the space between us feeling like miles. "Say what you need to. I don't want you driving late."
Biting my lip, I waited to see if he was going to say anything, but he didn't. "Thank you. For the gift. It was really sweet."
He nodded, eating his ice cream. "Figured you could write out your travels and adventures. Maybe publish a few."
I smiled. "Maybe. If the Post works out."
"It will. You were meant for more than this."Aiden flung his arm out to encompass the parking lot and what we could see of Pine Grove.
Steeling myself, I took another deep breath. "Aiden, I read the letter."
My best friend seemed to close in on himself, scooting even further away, trying to curl into a ball. "You did."
Turning in my spot, I looked over at him. He wouldn't look at me. "I did. Why didn't you tell me sooner?"
His eyes snapped to mine. "Would you have stayed?"
Shrugging, my eyes tracked over to the parking lot. "Maybe."
"Then there wasn't a point to tell you until now. Now you know how I feel." Aiden stood up and walked over to the trash can, tossing his cup in the bin.
"And that's just it? Just I'm in love with you, please don't go, It would ruin my whole world. Even though you know I'm leaving?"
Green eyes bore into mine, making me feel small. "Yes. That's it. I know you're determined to go. I won't be the reason you resent your life."
"Then come with me!" The second the words were out of my mouth, it seemed like the world stopped moving. The only sound in my ears was my own heavy breathing. It seemed right to ask him, but it also seemed wrong.
Aiden looked like I had smacked him. "I can't. You know I can't, Marissa. This is home and I have to finish school."
"Don't you want more?"
"Of course I want more in my life. I want you, but you need to spread your wings, sew your oats. Go. And be safe. I have to get back to work."
Aiden headed for the doors and it felt like my heart was shattering into a million pieces. One last try to make him see what he means to me. "Aiden!" he turned around and it was now or never. "I love you. Please come with me."
All the color drained
out of his face. "I love you too, Rissa. Just go. You're going to be late." With this, he opened the door and walked into the Galleria, leaving me standing there on the sidewalk.
Epilogue - Aiden
With my backpack slung over my shoulder, I headed into the Galleria and to work. Maybe I'd get some classwork done in between customers. Marissa's been gone two months. Love declarations couldn't make her stay and I couldn't go. Stopping to grab a snack, I headed to work. People were in and out of stores, the sounds of the mall, of Pine Grove, flowed through my ears. It should have made me happy, it usually it did. Lately, it failed to even bring a hint of a smile to my face. Victoria was set to open, so the store should be a little busy when I got there a welcome distraction.
Looking up, a flash of blonde caught my eye and I had to shake my head at myself. She was gone. I had to stop seeing her everywhere I went. Walking into the store, I nodded to Vikki then headed into the back. Opening the door, my jaw dropped. Marissa stood there, among the crates and boxes, her eyes fixed on her shoes.
"I've got to be dreaming," I muttered.
Bright blue eyes snapped to mine. "You're not. I couldn't.." She took a deep breath. "I love you."
"I love you too. That doesn't explain why you're here?"
She sighed, her shoulders sagging. "School starts next week for me. I can't start the first day without you. My transfer isn't even complete yet. And the internship sucks without having someone to talk to about it."
"You came all this way to complain about the job you wanted, and the life you wanted? I have to get to work." Stepping around her, I grabbed my punch card and clocked in.
"Aiden, I came back to tell you I want to stay. With you."
Raising my eyes to the ceiling, I tried to make sense of everything. "Marissa, I don't want to be something you regret."
She placed her hand on my arm and our eyes met over a stack of vinyl. "I could never regret you." Leaning in, her lips landed on mine, soft and sweet. "Tell me again." She demanded.