Biting his lip until it bled, he knew he was tilting against Goliath with a broken lance.
His breathing ragged, he met her dark gaze while he trailed his fingers over the curve of her smooth cheek. "I swear, Josette, I'll spend the rest of this night making amends to you. But I cannot withhold myself a moment longer." Unable to stand it, he slid himself deep inside her.
Jo moaned at how good he felt as he thrust himself against her hips. Thick and hard, he filled her completely. She'd forgotten just how good sex could be. Then again, no one had ever made love to her like this. Like she was the very air he needed to breathe. He kept his gaze locked with hers as he quickened his pace with a fierce growl.
She ran her hand over his scarred back until she cupped his hard, gorgeous rump.
Suddenly, he shuddered against her and cried out as he came, panting in her arms. He buried his face in the crook of her neck and held her as if she was the most precious gem in existence.
Jo started to pout, but then caught herself. Yes, it'd been a year for her, but that was absolutely nothing compared to his record.
For that, she'd cut the boy some slack. In a weird way, she was even a little flattered.
She rubbed her cheek against his as she ran the bottoms of her feet down the prickly hair on his legs. Closing her eyes, she savored the warmth of his body on hers. It was good just to be this close to someone again.
Bashful, Cadegan lifted his head to meet her gaze. He brushed the hair back from her face. "Sorry, lass. I know you deserve better than that from me. I promise you, I tried to stop it. But your sweet beauty overcame me faster than I could fight it."
She started to tell him it was okay when all of a sudden she felt something hard and deep inside her again.
What the...?
It began to vibrate and radiate out in the most erotic sensation imaginable. Honestly, it felt like he was still inside her as he dipped his head to gently suckle at her breast. Frowning, she glanced around the room, wondering what the heck was going on.
A slow, insidious smile spread over Cadegan's face. "Like that, do you?"
Her breathing ragged, she stared at him. "Is that you?"
He nodded as he moved to her other breast so that he could lick and tease her all the more. "My powers are infinite, and right now, I can think of no better use for them than to put a smile on your lovely face."
That was a serious understatement of his abilities. His fingers teasing her, he kissed his way to her stomach as his powers continued to vibrate inside her.
Her body on fire, Jo cried out as unimaginable pleasure splintered through her entire being. Holy cow!
Slowly, methodically, Cadegan tasted and stroked every inch of her while he continued to use his powers to fill her.
When she finally came, it was the hottest, most amazing orgasm she'd ever experienced. She screamed out so loudly, it left her hoarse.
Yeah, he definitely made up for his earlier quick-draw release.
And then some.
Reeling and breathless, she draped herself over his body. "That was incredible."
"Mmm," he breathed against her hair as he carefully separated the folds of her body with his fingers while he began growing hard again. "Surely you didn't think I was done with you so soon?"
Jo couldn't respond as she slowly rode his fingers.
His smile widened. "Like that, too?"
She nodded.
"Good, 'cause I intend to fulfill my promise about the night."
And that he did. Over and over, until she was weak and spent, and sleeping like a baby in the circle of his muscular arms.
Completely satiated for the first time in his life, Cadegan played idly in Josette's dark hair as he listened to her soft, gentle snore, while she slumbered on top of him. He still couldn't believe this was real. That she'd shared her body with him so thoroughly, and now lay draped over him like the warmest blanket he'd ever known. For no real reason, other than she'd desired him.
He couldn't fathom it.
And in that moment, he wanted to keep her here in his arms. Nothing else would give him more pleasure. You can't do that to her, and you know it.
He ground his teeth as anger flogged his reason. Why couldn't he?
You know why.
It would be wrong. She didn't belong in this cold, drab world. Not when she had the bright, brilliant realm she called home, waiting for her.
Family and friends who would mourn her absence.
Yet in this quiet moment, he didn't want to do the right thing. He was so tired of being alone. Of being punished for a birth he'd never wanted. Begging for a death that was denied him.
Was it too much to ask that he be granted one person, just one, who could cherish his presence? Seek him out for warmth and companionship?
One person who could love him?
"For your crimes, I curse you to eternity alone!"
Cradling her head against him, he flinched at the angry voice that was never far from his thoughts.
Maybe this was his new hell. After all these centuries, he'd finally purged the memories of a woman's body from his heart and learned to live without longing.
Now, the memories were fresh, and far sweeter than they'd been before. Josette hadn't used him for protection. She hadn't lied to him and given him false hope.
She seemed to even like him.
His heart breaking, he glanced around the dingy walls that had been his home for countless centuries. This night with her had been a mistake. He should have let the graylings take her.
But from the moment he'd heard her scream and looked upon the face of an angel, he'd been sunk.
Damn you all for this.
There was nothing to be done for it. At least he'd had one night with her.
As with all things, he'd find a way through the pain. Learn to soldier on past it.
Lifting her hand, he laid her palm against his cheek and wished for things he couldn't have. Wished for impossible dreams.
Most of all, he wished upon her the life she deserved. A man who would cherish her. Children who would adore her. Peace, and eternal happiness.
Aye, a soul so kind and generous had earned that and more. As soon as she awoke, he'd take her home and set her free to live for both of them. In the realm of light.
But he knew the bitter truth of it. He'd spend the rest of her life watching her from this shadowed realm, wishing he could be with her in hers.
That would be his true hell. To see her, and never again touch her so intimately.
He winced at the future he didn't want to face.
You win, Father ... Leucious. I cede victory to you both. You've done what you set out to do.
They'd finally broken him completely.
5
Jo sighed contentedly as she awoke to the most incredible sensation of warmth and security. She'd never known anything like this. She felt invincible. How stupid was that? She was buck naked and in a hole, yet she had the sensation that nothing bad could touch her. Ever.
Blinking her eyes open, she found herself still on top of Cadegan, who was sound sleep. He held on to her with one arm while the other was draped over his eyes.
Granted, the pallet wasn't all that comfortable, but his body was a different story. She fit perfectly against him. As if the contours of her body had been made solely for his. Smiling at the thought, she ran her fingertip over his nipple, skimming the small dark blond hairs that surrounded it, and admired the way the torchlight played across his tawny skin and muscles. Only the sight of his myriad of scars dampened her mood.
So much needless pain.
She fingered his medallion that was warm from his body's heat, and wondered how he'd gotten it. Had it been a gift from someone? He didn't seem the kind of man who'd buy something like this for himself.
He who suffers, triumphs.
Yeah, it sounded like something one of the monks from his childhood would have given him to encourage him, and to remind him that things could get bet
How he found the strength to get up every day and soldier on with nothing to look forward to astounded her. How could he do that, for a thousand years? There were days when she didn't want to get out of bed.
Today being one of them, but that was for a whole other happy reason.
As she placed the medallion back on his chest, she saw that he was now awake and watching her from beneath his arm.
"Good morning, sunshine," she teased.
He offered her a sexy half grin. "Morning, caru."
Rage infused her. So much for feeling bad for the jerk! You asshole! "It's Jo! Not Karen. Oh my God, I can't believe you don't remember my name!"
When she started to pull away, he held her immobile with a strength that was now terrifying as she realized how easily he could hurt her if he chose to.
"I remember your name, Josette. How could I ever forget it? Caru isn't another woman's name. It means love ... it was meant as an endearment. Never an insult to you."
Suddenly, she felt like an idiot for overreacting. Damn you, Barry, for that. "Oh. I'm sorry."
He brushed his hand through the tangles in her hair. "'Tis I who am sorry for the man who hurt you so much that you think another would not remember the touch, face, and name of the goddess Aphrodite after a night she's spent in his arms. How could I ever confuse you with another when you are the most beautiful woman I've ever seen?"
Tears blurred her vision at his sincere words. No one had ever spoken such poetry to her. "Only you have ever made me feel beautiful," she confessed. For that matter, he was the only one who'd ever made her feel safe and treasured. How stupid was that? She hadn't even known him a full day and yet there was no denying what she felt deep inside.
Damn it all, she was falling in love with a complete stranger.
He ran his hand along the edge of her jaw, raising chills over her arms. "Then you've never met a real man, Josette. Only great fools."
Smiling, she fingered his lips. As she tried to rise up to kiss him, he caught her against his body.
"Careful with me goods, love. There are a few things down there I'd like to keep attached for a while longer."
Laughing, she kissed his cheek. "I'd hate to deprive you." Jo glanced around the room as she realized something very important was missing. "Um ... out of curiosity, where might one go to do some business?"
The frown on his face said that he had no clue what she meant.
"Bathroom, Cade. I need one. And not now, in a minute. Now as in now."
"Ah."
Clothes appeared instantly on their bodies. One moment they were nestled in bed and in the next, she found herself outside, near a small brook in the forest.
As Cadegan started away from her, she grabbed his arm. "Where are you going?"
He arched a brow at her question. "I assumed you'd want some privacy for your business."
"Yeah, but where's the bathroom?"
He gestured at a copse of trees.
"Seriously?"
"Aye. It's all we have."
Ew! It was as bad as going camping with Uncle Tom and Essie and Tiyana. Nature sucked when it came to bathroom breaks. "You don't have any TP?"
"TP?"
"Toilet paper, for the love of God and his saints, man. Cottonelle. Scott. Quilted Northern. Angel Soft? Any of that ring a bell with you?"
He dared to laugh at her outrage. Something that made her want to choke him. With a devilish grin, he held his hand out and a roll of modern convenience appeared instantly. "Will this do, lass?"
"Yes! Thank you." Grabbing the roll, she headed for shrubbery. And if a knight who said Ni appeared, she planned on screaming.
Loudly. And with great passion and fearless embarrassment.
Once she'd finished, she made her way back to where Cadegan waited with a small bowl of gray, seeded berries. He was chewing on what appeared to be a stick of some kind.
"What is that?" she asked, gesturing to what had to be a most unappetizing breakfast as he literally gnawed on it, like a dog with rawhide.
He swallowed before he answered. "Merlin Root."
"Is it good?"
He screwed his face up. "Not even a trifle." He held the bowl out to her. "These are much better for the tongue, but there weren't many to be had, as they mostly bloom at night, so I saved them for you."
Hesitating, she picked one of the grayish round berries from the bowl. "Why is there no color here?" Even their skin was back to being gray.
"'Tis said that when the great Penmerlin Aquila pulled Avalon and Camelot out of the human realm to protect the race of man from the fey queen's army, part of Morgen's court ran to the abbey, thinking they'd be safe from her powers. As they did so, it pulled the Merlin's magick here and damned the unfortunate occupants to dwell in the shadows for all time."
Was he talking about the Morgen and Merlin the Magician? "Camelot? Like King Arthur and Lancelot?"
He nodded as she took a bite and found the berry to be quite tasty in spite of its unappetizing color.
Jo turned around to see the area with new eyes as she digested his tidbit. So this was the Glastonbury Tor she'd heard her cousins talking and arguing about. Wow. Not what she expected, by a long shot. "Were you one of Arthur's knights?"
Offended, Cadegan snorted. "I'm not that old, lass. Arthur died long before I drew me first breath."
"Oh, sorry." She picked up another berry. "But you have to admit, you are older than older's older cousin."
Cadegan didn't want to cede any such truth. Ignoring her sarcasm, he sucked his breath in as he saw the juices from the berry on her lips. Before he could stop himself, he lifted her chin and kissed it from them. His heart pounding with needful longing, he breathed her in, wishing he could stay right here, in her arms, for eternity.
But alas, he needed to be sending her on her way. And sooner rather than later. Every second she was here, especially in the open, she was a threat to his life.
She lifted her hand to offer him a berry. "Can I ask you something?"
He almost declined taking her food. But before he could stop himself, he ate it from her hand, and allowed her to tame him when no one ever had before. Normally, he'd lop the appendage off anyone foolish enough to attempt such where he was concerned. Yet he didn't mind such intimacies with her. Rather, he craved them. "Of course, lass."
Frowning, she stared up at him. "How do you stand it here? Really? How can you tolerate the unending silence and not go bat-shit crazy?"
Bat-shit crazy? He snorted at the hilarious term. "That's never been the part what bothered me."
She was aghast. "How can it not?"
He shrugged. "I reckon it has to do with growing up at Cymara Clas."
"Growing up where?"
"Cymara Clas..." He paused as he searched for the English translation for it. "Um ... clas ... cloister?" At her nod, he continued. "The monks there had all taken vows of silence, so I never heard human language until the king came, forced us to open our gates for his men, and took me away."
Jo swallowed her berry. It was a solid minute before the full weight of his simple statement hit her with a harsh reality. "Are you telling me that they took you to war, and you couldn't even understand or communicate with them?"
"Aye."
Her mind boggled as she tried to make sense of everything he'd told her. "But you knew the monks' names? How?"
He moved his hands in graceful gestures to explain it to her.
"Sign language? The monks spoke to you in signs?"
"Aye. Likewise, I think in pictures and not with words, even now."
She took his scarred right hand into hers as another awful thought occurred to her. "And when they hurt you for the theft you didn't do, you couldn't sign, could you?"
He tossed a random stone across the small brook as they walked through the forest. "Not for nigh about a year."
Total silence. No way to speak and tell anyone anything. No way to ask for help ...
Unshed tears for him tightened her chest. "Cadegan, how did you stand it?"
He furrowed his brow as if he didn't comprehend why she was indignant on his behalf. "It's all I knew, lass. You don't miss what you don't know. 'Tis the same as asking a fish if it grieves for not flying." He scratched at his cheek. "In a peculiar way, I find the silence and solitude here comforting. When I'm allowed it."
"Then what is it about this place that bothers you? If that's not the most irritating part?"
He picked up more stones. "Being stalked and hunted. Me worst fear is being taken for torture and never finding a way to escape it."
Again, her jaw dropped. Was he implying what it sounded like? "How often does that happen?"
"So far, never. I've always eventually found a way out whenever they take me."
He totally missed her point. "How often do they capture you?"
Screwing his face up, Cadegan paused as if he had to seriously consider the number. "'Tis not as oft now as it once was."
"Meaning?"
"I'm better at fighting them off these days, lass."
Dear Lord, it was exactly what it'd sounded like. It was so commonplace that he didn't even flinch or hesitate to speak about it. "Cadegan ... we've got to get you out of here. How do we break the spell?"
He laughed bitterly. "There's no spell locking me here to be broken. Me brother sent me to the one realm he knew I could never leave from."
"Your brother? You mean another monk?"
His eyes sad, he shook his head as he tossed the stones into the water. "Me half brother, Leucious. Once after I'd been wounded in war, he came and offered me to ride in his army, to fight others of our kind. I agreed, with reservations I should have heeded."
"Then why did he put you here?"
Cadegan sighed. "'Tis a long story that matters naught."
She hated how he defaulted to that on things that mattered most of all. It was as if he thought that if he downplayed them enough, they wouldn't hurt so much. But that wasn't how it worked. The only way to ease the pain was to work through it with someone who cared. Someone who would pick you up when you fell, without hesitation, and not judge you for your past.
Jo had always had her family for that.
Cadegan had never had a single soul.
"Is your brother your only family?" she asked.
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