by A. L. Brooks
Yeah, but if you’d done that, just imagine how much it would have cramped your style over the years. And you’d have ended up resenting Evelyn as a result.
She shook her head, focusing back on her aunt’s voice.
“Are you looking forward to it?”
“Of course! I’m rather excited actually.”
“Hm.”
“What?” Sarah stopped trying to wrestle herself into the shirt and stood upright. “What does ‘hm’ mean?”
Evelyn sighed. “Forgive me, dear. I am simply a tad concerned at this new version of you. Whether it is really what is good for you. You have spent so much time avoiding relationships, it is somewhat of a turnaround for you to be throwing yourself so wholeheartedly into this one.”
Sarah sighed, and sat down on the edge of the bed. “Evelyn, I love you. You know that, right?”
“Of course, dear.”
“And I know you’re only concerned about me, and that this is your way of trying to protect me, yes?”
“Indeed.”
“Okay. But you have to trust me on this. You really do. Bethany is so very different from all the other women I’ve been with, and that’s why I am so attracted to her, I think. And why I’m sticking my neck out into uncharted territory. She’s a wonderful woman, Evelyn. She’s got a brain, for one thing, and isn’t afraid to use it. Plus there’s something so sexy about her complete lack of awareness of how sexy she is. She…intrigues me. And that excites me.”
“All right, all right.” Evelyn’s tone was resigned. “It does sound like you have given this some thought.”
“I have. Now, I’m sorry, but I need to go and get ready.”
Evelyn was quiet for a moment. “Please be careful, Sarah. I do not want to see you get hurt.”
“I promise I’ll look after myself, okay?”
“Thank you, dear. I will talk to you soon.”
“I’ll call you tomorrow, okay?”
“Only if you have time.”
“I’ll make time, Evelyn. Always, for you.”
Evelyn chuckled. “Sweet talker,” she said. “Goodbye.”
“Bye, Evelyn.”
Sarah was smiling as she tossed the phone on the bed, but that smile faded as she thought back on Evelyn’s words. Her aunt’s doubts swirled around her mind, mixing with her own nerves. Uncharted territory indeed. But she certainly wasn’t going to chicken out now, especially when the alternative was not seeing Bethany again. Sarah had prided herself on her courage throughout her life, with, she could admit, one or two lapses when things got particularly hairy. However, she’d stuck to her guns in all sorts of scenarios over the years, following her gut instinct to get what she wanted from life.
And, lately, it seemed she wanted Bethany.
Bethany, who drew Sarah to her in ways that she couldn’t begin to fathom, or fight.
So I’m not going to fight it.
She stood up and finished buttoning up the shirt. It was one of her favourites, a deep burgundy colour and with a shape that fit her body like a glove. Paired with smart black trousers and a black leather jacket, it was a classy yet sexy look. One she hoped Bethany would appreciate.
She checked her make-up one more time, teased a few strands of hair back into position, and pulled on the leather jacket. Staring at her reflection in the long mirror next to the dresser, she found her smile again.
Alice swept into the flat, a garment bag draped over her arms.
“Hello, love. Sorry I’m a bit late. The bus got held up. Some idiot tried to jump on through the back doors and the driver wouldn’t move until he’d got off and got back on again at the front.” She tutted. “What a plonker.”
Bethany laughed, showing her mum into the living room. “No worries; there’s plenty of time.”
“There is? Oh, thank God. I didn’t want to be the one responsible for mucking up your big date.” Alice dropped the garment bag on the back of the sofa, then turned to look at Bethany, her hands on her hips. “So, how are you feeling?”
Bethany grinned. “Nervous. Excited. I looked the restaurant up online—I don’t think I’ve ever been anywhere so posh.”
“Ooh, this is so exciting!” Alice stepped across the room and pulled her into a quick hug. “Your make-up looks gorgeous, by the way.”
“Thanks, Mum.”
“Now, here it is,” Alice said, gesturing towards the garment bag. “Want to get into it right now?”
Bethany nodded and her mum smiled. When she pulled the dress from its cover, Bethany’s eyes misted over.
The dress was just above knee-length, and had a retro early sixties feel, with a wide skirt and cinched-in waist. Made of a green satin material with pink flourishes around the waist and hemline, it had been Alice’s when she was a young woman.
“Last time I wore this, your dad proposed to me,” Alice said, her voice quiet as she held the dress up. “One of the happiest days of my life.”
Bethany’s throat closed up. When her mum had offered the dress, she’d had no idea of its importance.
“Oh, Mum. Are you sure you want me to wear it tonight? What if I spill something on it?”
Alice waved off her protests, eyes shining with unshed tears. “You’ll be fine. And yes, I would love you to wear this. I’ve always thought it would suit you. Maybe that’s why I held onto it all these years.”
She cupped Bethany’s face in her hands. “This is a very special night for you, I know that. So you need a special dress.” She stepped back. “Come on, try it on. I reckon you’ll look smashing in it. I’ll pop the kettle on for a quick cuppa while you do.”
Her mum stepped into the kitchen and moments later Bethany heard her making the promised beverage.
Bethany took the dress to her bedroom, where it took only a minute to disrobe, then step into the dress, ease it up over her hips, and zip up the back. She admired herself in the mirror on the inside of the wardrobe door before her mum’s light footsteps on the wooden floor of the hallway broke her out of her uncustomary self-appreciation.
“You can come in,” Bethany called. “I’m decent.”
Her mum pushed open the door and gasped as Bethany twirled in front of her. Alice had been right—she did look smashing. The colours in the dress worked incredibly well with Bethany’s often nondescript hair colour and style, and the cut of it suited her body shape to a tee.
“Oh, Bethany. You look fantastic!” Alice stared at her, eyes wide.
“I love it!” Bethany enthused as she twirled once more.
“Good. And I’m sure Sarah will love it too.”
Bethany blushed. “I hope so.”
“You really like this woman, don’t you?” Alice asked, taking hold of Bethany’s arm and bringing her twirling to a stop.
“Yes, I really do.”
“And are you sure you can trust her?”
Bethany tilted her head. “Mum?”
Alice sighed, rubbing her hand up and down Bethany’s arm. “I’ll trust your judgement, love, but…”
“You think she’ll muck me around again?”
“I hope she doesn’t. I really do.” Alice smiled wanly. “It’s your life, Bethany. You go out and live it how you choose. I just don’t want to see you get hurt, that’s all.”
Bethany gave her mum a quick hug. “I know. I understand.” She grinned. “It is kind of lovely and scary all at the same time—I can’t lie about that. After spending so long on my own, it’s hard to believe that I’ve met someone so quickly who makes me feel this way, but…” She shrugged. “I know we had a bit of a bumpy start, but it seems to be working now, so I’m just going to go with the flow.”
Alice gave her a gentle pat on the shoulder. “Good for you, love. It’s lovely to see you this excited about being with someone. I…” She pulled back and gazed into Bethany’s eyes. �
��I did worry, for a little while. You know, that you’d be on your own. I mean, if that was what you truly wanted then obviously I would have been supportive, but somehow I wasn’t sure it really was.”
Bethany hugged her mother again. “You know, it actually was what I wanted, for a while, and I was okay with that. But now I’m not, so here I am.” She let go of her mother and spread her arms wide, grinning like an idiot.
Alice laughed, and shook her head. “You’re fifteen all over again, and I think it’s lovely.”
Bethany smiled and walked over to where she had left the shoes she’d picked out to go with the dress. They were heeled, a rarity for her, and strappy, and ridiculously not sensible, but she’d been unable to resist pulling them from the back of her wardrobe. Once her feet were firmly buckled in, she walked carefully over to the mirror once more, adjusting to the feel of the shoes, the way she needed to alter her gait slightly to walk in them properly.
“Lovely,” Alice said, catching Bethany’s eye in the mirror. “Just lovely.”
“Thanks, Mum.”
She took the Tube to Leicester Square and followed Sarah’s instructions to the pedestrianised side road that was home to J Sheekey’s, one of the best—if not the best—fish and seafood restaurants in London. Bethany knew it was sought after, and pricey, and Sarah treating her to this put a lovely squishy feeling in her stomach.
The doorman pulled open the door with a pleasant “Good evening” and Bethany stepped into the cosy interior. The hostess showed her to the table, where she found Sarah waiting. A thrill shot through her at the open-mouthed stare Sarah sent her way; Sarah’s gaze roamed over every inch of Bethany’s body, and goose bumps erupted over every one of those inches.
“Hello,” Bethany said, suddenly feeling shy under such obvious scrutiny.
“Bethany,” Sarah breathed, her eyes wide. “You look…stunning.”
“Thank you.” Bethany ducked her head, her cheeks flaming. Being complimented like that would take some getting used to.
She sat down in the chair the hostess pulled out for her and waited until her napkin had been draped across her lap before raising her head again. Sarah was still staring, and smiling, and Bethany chuckled.
“Earth to Sarah,” she said.
Sarah blinked a few times, grinning. “Sorry.” She shook her head. “No, actually, I’m not sorry.” She reached across the table and took Bethany’s hand. “You are beautiful, Bethany. Thank you for this.” She waved in a motion that encompassed Bethany’s body. “Simply incredible.”
“Thank you,” Bethany whispered, almost overwhelmed with emotion.
And not just because of the words themselves, but the way they were delivered—with intensity and…passion—had Bethany’s temperature rising and her heart racing. She squeezed Sarah’s hand, then let go and reached for her menu. She needed something to do; something to distract her before she lunged across the table and kissed Sarah senseless. She looked positively edible tonight. The burgundy shirt totally suited her colouring, and she’d ruffled her hair slightly and applied some smoky make-up to her eyes, giving her a come-to-bed look that Bethany would willingly take her up on, given half a chance.
“Everything here is wonderful,” Sarah said softly. “So please order whatever you wish.”
“Thank you.” Bethany met her gaze. “And thank you in advance for treating me. This already feels amazing and I haven’t eaten or drunk anything yet.”
Sarah smiled, and they gazed at each other for a few seconds before a discreet cough from the waiter snapped them out of their reverie.
“Ladies, would you like to order some drinks?”
After they’d decided on a bottle of Pinot Blanc and ordered a mouth-watering array of food—and agreed to sample each other’s starters and mains so they could appreciate all the flavours on offer—Sarah lifted her glass.
“To you, for being here tonight. Thank you.”
Bethany blushed. “And to you, for arranging all of this. Thank you.”
They delicately clinked glasses, then sipped at the wine.
“Oh my God, that’s good.” Bethany took another sip, and Sarah smiled at her across the top of her own glass.
“So, nearly finished with term?”
“Yes! Don’t get me wrong, I love the kids in my class, but I cannot wait for summer holidays to start.”
Sarah laughed. “And here I was thinking you were super dedicated to your work, to the cause of education in this country.”
“I am!” Bethany smirked. “But I’m also a tired human being who needs a break.”
“Do you have any plans for your time off?”
“Well, the first week will be spent sleeping a lot.”
Sarah laughed.
“The second week I’m away with my mum, down in Cornwall, visiting my Aunt Mary, one of my dad’s sisters.”
Sarah tilted her head. “You and your mum are visiting one of your dad’s sisters? Why isn’t your dad coming too?”
It still hurt, even after all these years, to say the words out loud.
“Oh, my dad died. When I was nine. But my mum has kept us in touch with all of his family and we see them often.”
Sarah eyes had widened. “I’m sorry.”
Bethany shrugged and smiled. “You weren’t to know. It’s okay. Besides, seeing his sisters always reminds me of him, so it’s almost like he’s there with us. We have the most fantastic time with them—with Aunt Mary in particular. The three of us love spending time together, so I’m really looking forward to it. And I love Cornwall, so that’s a nice bonus.”
“Wow, you’re actually excited about spending time with your mum and aunt?” Sarah looked bemused.
Bethany tilted her head. “Do you think that’s strange?”
“Um, no. Not really, I guess. Sorry, I think I must be projecting my own feelings about family onto your situation, which is silly. It sounds like you’re close to yours.”
“Oh, very! I have a big family, and we all get on like a house on fire. I gather that’s not the same for you?” She dared the question, but was ready to tell Sarah to ignore it if it was obvious that it was too much.
Sarah looked away briefly. When her gaze returned, there was a sadness in her eyes that made Bethany’s stomach squirm.
“It’s… I was adopted,” Sarah blurted. She blinked a couple of times before adding, “Sorry, I don’t normally just throw that out there.”
“Oh.” Bethany was flummoxed. Should she ask Sarah more about it or shut up and change the subject? She’d never met anyone who’d been adopted, at least not to her knowledge. What was the etiquette?
Sarah sighed. “So, my birth mother gave me up for adoption when I was about two years old. I don’t remember her, and I have no idea who my dad was. I’m not even sure my mother knew. She…she was a sex worker, you see. Apparently she tried to raise me as best she could, but money was always a problem with a small kid in tow, as were unscrupulous landlords, and in the end, it all got too much.”
Bethany reached across the table and took Sarah’s hand in her own.
“My adoptive parents are lovely people, but it seems they never intended me to know I was adopted.” Sarah’s eyes lost their focus; she was clearly lost in memories. “I…I was a bit of a handful when I was a teenager, and one night, when they were out at a dinner party and had trusted me to look after myself at home for the evening, I went…snooping. To this day I’m not really sure why I did.” She chuckled. “Well, I know part of it—I couldn’t figure out how my parents were so rich when my mum didn’t work and my dad didn’t seem to work that hard either.” She snorted softly. “So I broke into my dad’s study and had a good rummage through all his paperwork. Didn’t take me long to find my file.”
Her eyes had taken on a haunted look, and Bethany squeezed her hand harder, giving Sarah an anchor if she needed
it. Sarah reached for her wine with her free hand and took a long sip.
“Anyway, I confronted them when they came home; the truth all came out, and for about a year afterwards, things were decidedly rocky between us. We went to a family counsellor, and that did help. I was angry, of course—angry at being given up by my mother, and angry at them for keeping it from me. Now, as an adult, I can see why they made the choices they did—all of them. But at fourteen, none of that was clear.”
“I can imagine,” Bethany murmured.
Sarah shrugged. “So, I’m sorry. Family for me is always a sore spot. My parents and I are now at a reasonably good place together, but there’s always…something. Something making me feel like I don’t quite belong. I mean, don’t get me wrong, my adoptive parents love me. Wholeheartedly. It’s my issue, and I’ve never quite got on top of it.”
Sarah’s fingers squeezed Bethany’s, then let go as the waiter appeared with their starters. When he had finished laying the plates down and backed away, Sarah said, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to bring something so serious into our evening.”
“No! It’s fine. I… Thank you for telling me. I know that probably wasn’t easy.”
“Not many people know that about me,” Sarah said, shaking her head slowly. “Somehow I just needed you to know, I guess.”
“Thank you. I’m honoured you felt you could share that with me.”
Sarah nodded, and they each picked up their cutlery to dig into their starters—dressed crab for Sarah, and scallops for Bethany. They moaned in appreciation at the flavours, then immediately offered samples to each other.