by Jackie May
He glares at me, and I gasp again. Why would he glare at me? He loves me. And why would he kill an innocent child? He’s not a monster. Or…is he?
My brain hurts, but small memories come back to me. There are big, gaping holes, as if parts of my memory have been tampered with. Was Aziel telling the truth? Have I been compelled?
I think back on my memories of Henry, and they conflict with what I know of him. I remember he once kidnapped me and held me hostage. He hurt…someone…I can’t remember.”
The harder I think, the more my brain hurts. I’ve been compelled by him before. A vampire was missing. Nadine. Henry forced me to help find her. He compelled me! Could he have compelled me again? Compelled me to love him? I love him now, but I remember hating him. I trust him now, but I remember being scared of him.
“Nora,” Henry snaps, “Come to me.”
For some reason I don’t want to, but my feet obey. I do as he asked. I go to him.
That’s not right. I didn’t want to go to him. I really must be compelled. What else has he done? What’s real and what’s not? Are the gaps in my memory his doing? What am I forgetting? No. That can’t be right. Henry wouldn’t harm me. He wouldn’t manipulate me. I trust him. I shake my head, trying to clear it of the fog and confusion.
“James!” Henry snaps. “Now!”
James opens the little girl’s cage and pulls out his needle. “No!” I scream. I try to lunge at James, but Henry holds me tight. I thrash against his hold. “Let me go! Henry, you can’t do this! She’s a child!”
The girl backs away from James and then cries out in pain when her back hits the gold bars of her cage. “No, please,” she whimpers. “You promised I could go home.”
James grimaces and captures her arm. He puts the needle into her arm, and when the red line of blood starts flowing from her, she begins sobbing. I can no longer hold back the tears, either. “Please, Henry! I don’t want her to die! Not for me! I’d rather die to get rid of my curse than let you kill her.”
Henry gives me a cold look. “That is unacceptable, love. I can’t live without you, so I will do whatever it takes to save you.”
I’m so angry and devastated. How could I love a monster like Henry? I want nothing more than to stop him. I’d kill him if I had to in order to save the girl. I don’t care that I love him. He’s killing a child! I want to fight him, my siren is raging inside me, but no matter what I try to do, I won’t attack him. It’s as if I can’t attack him. My body refuses to listen to me. Is that another compulsion? Has he compelled me never to hurt him?
“All right, stop!” Aziel shouts. “I will do it! Just don’t harm the girl!”
There’s a beat of silence before Henry holds up a hand, signaling for James to stop. “And you?” he asks Kat.
She nods. “If you promise not to harm the child, I will give you what you ask for.”
“Very well. She will be spared.”
James wastes no time collecting blood from both Kat and Aziel. As Aziel’s blood drains from him, his eyes close and he slumps over.
“What’s wrong with him?” I ask, panicked.
Henry caresses my cheek as if to calm me. “He is all right, love. He’s only weak. But I promise he will be fine.”
I look back at the cage to the unconscious man and bite my lip. “Are you sure?”
I’m worried, but I also trust him. “Okay. If you’re sure. But we can help him when this is done?”
“Of course. We will heal him and send him home. Now, come. James needs some of your blood as well.”
After that, he collects some of mine and starts adding other ingredients to the blood mixture. It takes about ten minutes, and then he brings me a cup. It smells awful. Like blood and rotten garbage. I gag and hold the cup away from me. “Oh, that’s disgusting.”
I almost don’t care if it will break my curse. I don’t want to ingest it.
“Drink it, love.”
I bring the cup to my lips and swallow down the vile mixture, gagging the whole time. I’m now certain that Henry has compelled me because I try to stop myself several times, but I still drink every last drop.
I drop the cup to the ground when I’m finished. I fall to my knees and grab my stomach, coughing and gagging. I want to throw up.
Henry comes over to me and rubs my back. “You did well, Nora. How do you feel?”
I glare up at him. My siren wants blood, and not the kind I just drank. She’s knocking on the edge of my brain, and right now, I have to admit, if I could, I would unleash her. I’m so pissed off.
Henry seems taken aback by my anger. “Why the hostility? You love me, remember?”
I grind my teeth. “And I hate that I do!” I shout so loud my voice echoes in the large, empty chapel. “My feelings aren’t real. They can’t be. You compelled me. I could never love a monster, and that’s what you are! You were going to kill a child. You’ve also compelled me to do everything you say, haven’t you? I don’t have a choice. You’ve made me your slave. That’s not love, Henry.” I burst into tears, because even though I’m so angry and I’m sure that Henry compelled me to love him, I still feel that love, and my heart is breaking because of it. I shake my head, sobbing. “That’s not love.”
Henry pulls me to my feet and into his arms. As much as I want to escape him, my body betrays me. I want his comfort. He holds me tight, and I shudder in his embrace. “Everything will be okay. I will fix this. You have my word. And then we will be happy together.” He brushes my hair out of my eyes, and I look away from him, pinching my eyes shut tightly. I don’t want him to compel me again. He allows it and goes back to his original question. “How do you feel? Did the spell work?”
I’m sidetracked from all of my emotions, and I think about it.
“Answer me, Nora,” Henry says gently.
I have to answer him. I shake my head. “I don’t feel any different. More energized maybe, stronger, but I don’t feel any less dark. Then again, I only ever feel dark when my siren takes over.”
Henry purses his lips in disappointment. His brow wrinkles in thought. “Then we must test it. Call on your power.”
I focus inside me. My siren is right there where she’s been all night, raging with anger and waiting to be let out. “I can’t. She’s locked away.” The more I try to think, the more confused I become. My head starts to pound, and I grip it with both hands as if that will stop it from exploding. “I’m sorry. I don’t understand it, but there are gaps in my memory. I don’t know what I’m missing, but I’m pretty sure I’ve been compelled not to use my siren’s song.”
Henry sighs. “Allow me to fix you.”
Fix me? “You compelled me not to use my gift?”
“Parker compelled you.”
Something sparks. I know that name. No, it’s more than that. My heart knows that name. It’s beating erratically at just the thought of the mystery man. “Who’s Parker?”
Henry scowls. “A vampire who betrayed us. He is our enemy, love.”
For some reason I trust Henry, even though I’m pretty sure he’s lying to me. I grip my head again and moan. The more I try to think past the cloud in my brain, the more it hurts. “How will we know if the spell worked, if I’ve been compelled by another vampire?”
Henry smiles at me, and his chest puffs up. “I’m a master vampire. I am much stronger than Parker. I can break his compulsion.”
At this, my siren perks up. My whole body tingles with her power. I can taste her hunger. It’s so dark it terrifies me. “Maybe we shouldn’t. I’m not sure I want her power unleashed. We’re strong, Henry, and we’re very angry. I think she’ll try to hurt you.”
“Don’t worry, love.” Henry grips the sides of my face and smiles lovingly. “You aren’t angry. You are calm, and you want to please me.” His words are so heavy in my head that my knees buckle beneath the weight of them. Henry catches me as I collapse and lowers us to the ground. He holds me in his arms and takes my face again.
“Careful
,” Aziel warns. “Nora may be strong, but you know no one is meant to take so much compulsion. You could fracture her mind.”
Henry sends a glare Aziel’s way, then turns to me, all affectionate smiles again. “You are so strong, Nora. Stay with me. We’re almost done, and then, I promise, no more.”
I don’t understand what he means. Nothing makes sense anymore. All I know is that I’m calm and that I want to please Henry.
Henry looks deeply into my eyes. “You will disregard Parker’s compulsion and only use your siren’s song when I tell you to.”
More weight crushes my brain. I cry out as razor sharp pain slices through my head. It hurts. It’s so heavy. I gasp for air, and something warm trickles from my nose.
“No more, Henry!” Aziel shouts. “You will break her!”
Henry ignores Aziel. He pulls a handkerchief from his pocket and wipes my nose. The white cloth comes away red. “It hurts, Henry.”
He brushes my hair back behind my ears. “No more,” he promises me. “But we do need to test your powers. Luther!” he shouts.
A tall vampire steps out of the crowd of vampires I forgot were even here and glides smoothly to Henry’s side. “Yes, sire?”
“Kneel.” The man obeys and kneels in front of me so that we’re eye level. Henry looks at me. “Try to use your power on this man.”
I glance at the man, startled. He swallows hard but otherwise does not react to Henry’s command. He’s so loyal he will stand here and be my guinea pig.
I can feel the need to do as Henry says, and my siren is joyful at the command, but I use all of my will power to postpone this command. “Henry,” I rasp, gritting my teeth and pushing against the compulsion. “I could hurt him.”
Henry’s not moved. “We must know if the spell worked.” He glances at Luther and gives the nervous man a smile as affectionate as the ones he always gives me. He may be a lot of things, but he does love his vampires. “You don’t need to hurt him. Just use your song on him. Command him.”
I can’t hold back any longer. I look at the man and reach for my siren. Her power fills me and finally, finally, she breaks free. She sings with joy, and I instantly ensnare Henry’s vampire. His pupils dilate and he leans toward me, completely under my spell. Desire fills me. I love this feeling of power. I love my siren. When she’s free like this, we are one. And we’re hungry. So hungry. This man in front of us is ours.
“Nora,” Henry says. “How do you feel? Does it feel dark? Do you wish to hurt this man or not?”
I lick my lips. I want to do so much more than hurt this man; I want to devour him. I reach out and place my hand over the man’s heart. We both gasp. He leans in to my touch and I shudder. He has such a strong, beautiful life force, and I can’t wait to take it. “Mine,” I sing.
“Yes,” the vampire rasps. “I am yours.”
Henry’s arms come around me. “No, love. He is mine. As are you.”
I don’t like that. I belong to no man. Men belong to me. I whirl in Henry’s arms and hiss at him. My siren wants to attack him, but something holds me back. Compulsion. It’s so easy to recognize now. I’ve been compelled not to harm Henry. It pisses me off. I want to claim him, to take his soul. I try again, but when I can’t, I turn back to the vampire under my spell. I will have him.
“Mine,” I growl, and start to pull his life force from his body.
He screams. I can feel his pain as I drain the life out of him. It brings me so much pleasure that I shiver.
“Nora!”
Henry grips my arms, but I don’t stop. This man is mine, and I will not stop until I have consumed every last drop of him.
“Nora, you must stop. You’re killing him!”
“He is mine! I will own his soul for eternity!”
“Nora, please,” Henry begs. I love the sound of it. I love that the powerful vampire is begging me. Soon, I will have every man begging me for death.
All too soon, the man crumples to the ground. Henry scoops him up and then blinks at me in shock. “You killed him.”
A sick, twisted smile spreads across my face.
“It didn’t work,” Henry says. He looks pale, and his eyes fall to the dead man in his arms. I laugh. It’s a chilling, seductive smile. I want to use my song on him, but I can’t. My compulsion won’t allow me to. As if he can tell what I’m trying to do, Henry swallows audibly. “James!” he snaps, his eyes never leaving mine. “Why didn’t it work?”
The sorcerer hurries to Henry’s side, his wide, terrified eyes trained on me. “I don’t know, sir. The spell is ancient, but I swear I did everything correctly. Perhaps it was missing something that has been lost over the millennia.”
“How do I get her back?”
Aziel’s voice sounds tired and angry when he says, “You probably can’t. She is lost to her darkness. The safest thing to do now, and the kindest, would be to kill her.”
Henry’s eyes flash red, and he snarls a “no” at Aziel.
“She is no longer herself,” Aziel says. “And she would not like hurting people.”
He is wrong. I am myself. I am finally everything I was meant to be. I am strong, and beautiful. Deadly grace. And I would love nothing more than to take every man in this room under my control. I could have them all. I want that. Need it.
“Nora…” Henry’s voice is strangled. “Come back to me.”
I lean forward. I can’t attack him. Can’t use my song on him. But I can still taste him. I lean forward and bury my face in his neck. He smells delicious. I lick his salty skin and shiver with pleasure. “Mine,” I whisper.
Henry pulls me back to look into my eyes. He’s shocked. “You must be in there somewhere, love. Come back to me.”
I cackle again. Why would I come back? This version of me is so much more powerful. It feels too good. “Release me,” I purr, tracing my finger across Henry’s chest. My fingers stop over his heart. I can feel his life force, and it’s beautiful. This man is so powerful. So strong. So full of life. I try to grab hold of it, but I can’t. My fingers curl against his chest, and I hiss again. I don’t like being contained.
My fingers become clawed, and I shake with rage. Henry shakes his head, and I watch his heart break. The devastation in his expression is so satisfying. “Nora,” he croaks.
He starts to beg me again, but the words never make it from his mouth because the front doors of the chapel burst open and a troll in full rage mode roars loud enough to shake the building.
I flinch at the sight of him, but not because I’m scared. There’s something about him that has me curious. My siren likes this man, this giant. He is hers, but not to devour. He is hers to protect.
While all of the vampires in the building stare at the troll and try to back out of his reach, chaos erupts in the room. All of the boarded up windows are smashed open, and creatures pour into the room. Wolves, fey, even a few more trolls. A vicious fight between the newcomers and the vampires breaks out. It’s madness.
I can’t be bothered by the violence happening around me. My eyes are still trained on the troll. What is it about him?
Something else pricks at my heart. There, deep inside my chest, is a strange sense of panic, and also relief and hope. The feelings aren’t mine. I concentrate on these feelings, and it’s almost as if I can feel where they’re coming from. I look to my left. There’s a man fighting a vampire with a sword. Like the troll, there is something about him that calls to me.
“Nora!” Another voice calls out to me. A vampire and two huge wolves are fighting through the crowd, trying to get to me. “Nora!” the vampire calls again.
I know these men. I mean, I don’t, they’re strangers, but something deep inside me knows them. What is it about these men? I try to think, but the more I do, my head starts to hurt again, and I collapse. Henry catches me.
He shakes me to gain my attention, but my eyes are fastened on the vampire, the wolves, the troll, and the fey that all call to me. I gasp when a vampire jumps on the back of
one of the wolves and sinks his fangs into its neck. It’s almost as if my soul felt the bite. I clench my chest because it hurts.
Something inside me snaps. No one can touch what is mine! Rage fills me, and I let out a scream, but before I can charge the vampire, Henry grabs me by the arm. I try to attack him, but again the compulsion stops me. My siren tries to ensnare him, but she can’t. I try to step aside for her, but my power is locked. “Let go of me!” I hiss.
“Nora! You must stop this! Use your song on our enemies! Stop them from killing our vampires!”
My siren rejoices at the freedom and starts to grasp every man in the room that isn’t a vampire. But when they all freeze, the vampire attacking the werewolf swipes his claws through the wolf’s side, and my heart jerks. My soul squeezes painfully tight. It’s as if we’re tied together.
I release my hold on them. Henry compelled me to stop my enemies, but those men are not my enemies. I don’t know how I know that, I just do. My heart calls to them all.
My siren rages inside me. She’s mad that I stopped her from using our gift, but she can feel it, too. Those men are ours.
“Nora!” Henry snaps. “I asked you to stop those men. Use your song!”
I glance at Henry. My body wants to obey him—needs to obey him—but everything inside of me is screaming at me to not listen. My head starts to pound so hard I grab fistfuls of my hair and fall to the ground with a scream. There’s a war going on around me, but there’s an even bigger battle going on inside my head.
I don’t want to obey his order. I don’t want to hurt those men; I want to hurt Henry. I want to destroy him for asking me to kill those men. For making me think they are my enemies. I know, now, that I have been compelled again. I don’t remember those men, but I know them. The gaps in my memory make sense. Henry has compelled me to forget them. I’m sure of it. And they are mine. I’m sure of that, too.
“NORA!” Henry shouts. He takes me by the arm and shakes me. “I gave you an order! You will use your song on your enemies. You will do it now!”