by Shelly Crane
“I wasn’t sure. I had no plans to use you if that’s what you mean.”
“I just meant…I don’t know what I mean,” I sighed and looked at the ground between us. “I just don’t know how to take all this. You’re telling me that I chose this, wanted this. But I don’t see how that’s possible when I didn’t know it was something I could do.”
“It doesn’t matter.” He smiled a brilliantly bright and happy smile. “Do you have any idea what it means, that you did this. I can keep you safe now, my family has no choice but to protect you. I won’t need anything but you for the rest of my life to sustain me.”
I got his meaning and it thrilled me in an odd way.
“Is that why you aren’t freaking out and breathing funny?”
He chuckled.
“Yes.” He laughed again. “Yes, that’s why. The bond gives me everything I need. I’ll only actually feel it when you have a sudden or intense spike of emotion.” He leaned forward and kissed the corner of my mouth. I sucked in a quick breath and he laughed before he groaned slightly. “Like that.”
I allowed him to pull me up to him and kiss me. He moved with surety and conviction, like there was nothing else to do in the moment. As he held me, I felt something in my world crack. I realized that I should be completely freaking out. Completely.
This guy I’d only known for a few short weeks had somehow convinced me that I’d bound myself to him, literally, with an invisible barbed connection from my wrist to his. My life in the past few days seemed to have been flushed down the toilet in a un-ceremonial kind of way and then lifted up again by someone who could only be described as a bad guy turned good.
It wasn’t the first time I’d thought about what my parents would think of my dating him. I had so many questions that my head hurt to even begin to organize them. But in the turmoil of my internal tirade I’d come to one conclusion; somehow, this guy who seemed to know me, who cared about me, who was intensely enjoying my lips right now, had saved me.
Saved me from what, you say? I had an ok life, you say? I was spoiled and privileged and had everything most people wanted and could never have, you say?
True to all accounts except for one minor thing and in my book the most important thing. I wasn’t free.
I had been trapped; in my life, my memories, my friends, my guilt, my need to be what everyone else wanted me to. No one could save me from that life. No one but someone on the outside who saw me for who I was and not what everyone else had painted me to be.
Eli saved me from myself. I had every intention of taking advantage of it and figuring out exactly who I wanted to be from this day on.
He interrupted anything else I may have thought or said by pulling slightly away and looking down into my face.
“Wait…” He stepped back and I knew nothing good would come from that act. “Wait. No, this is wrong.”
“What?” I asked confused.
“I could no sooner ask you to do this than I could ask you ask you to run away with me.”
That idea actually sounded kind of appealing but I jerked back to attention as he went on.
“You don’t know what you’re doing,” he said in a voice that was like boxes being dragged on concrete. “You were right, you had no idea and somehow did this haphazardly. I’m sorry, I can’t tell how sorry I am to have dragged you into all this. I’ll find a way - a way to release you-“
“What are you talking about?” Talk about an about-face. “Where did all that come from? I thought you were happy about this?”
“Clara, it’s too much. I couldn’t ask it of you.”
“I didn’t ask you to. I’m offering.”
“Don’t,” he ground out. “Don’t tempt me to just take you. I can’t do that. You have a life here, a way of living that suits you. I’m just a passing distraction, a phase. You’ll forget about me one day and be ok.”
“I hate this part,” I sighed in aggravation and jerked the sunglasses from my eyes, setting them atop my head into my hair.
“What?” he said in a voice that clearly didn’t understand where I could be leading things.
“This is where the leading man tries to save the girl from herself. She is willing to give up everything for him and he, in his misguided attempt to save her, tells her he’s skipping for the hills and she has to beg him to stay and convince him that her love is real and that she is sound of mind.”
He watched me and took a small step towards me even as he tilted his head a little.
“Love?” he whispered.
Had I said that? Yikes. I ignored that he’d said that at all and continued on.
“Furthermore, I think it’s juvenile to assume that just because a girl makes a romantic gesture that she can’t possibly know what’s in her own head.” He moved even closer but I kept my gaze on the top button of his shirt. I felt a little loony but the words kept spewing forth. “I didn’t exactly have a great life here, you knew that, and for you to just assume like you could come in here and alter everything I knew like this and then just leave is-“ my breath caught as he made that last inch between us non-existent. “It’s just cruel. I mean, you gave me these green eyes. You made me want you and then you want to just-“
He pulled my face up to look into his but I kept my eyes away. He sat silently until I caved and directed my gaze to his. When I took in the amount of gratitude and - oh, I must be imagining the rest – I shivered in response.
He didn’t say anything, just snaked an arm around my back and held me tightly as he looked at me for several long loaded seconds. Then he bent his head and let his lips skim my forehead.
“I hope you know what you’re doing.”
“I know what I want,” I answered in rebuttal.
“Why don’t you let me lay it all out for you?” He pulled back to look at me. “My world is…dangerous, crazy, it never sleeps. You may want no part in it when you know exactly what comes in the whole package.”
“I’m so glad we’re back to treating me like some ditsy damsel in distress that can’t decide what’s good for her,” I said sulkily.
He chuckled at me, which in any other circumstance might have made me mad. But right then, I was just trying to figure out why he wanted me to say ‘no’ so badly.
“Clara,” he sighed my name. “Ok,” he gave in, “I’ll let you decide for yourself but just let it be said when you hate me one day that I tried to warn you.”
His words were harsh but his expression was solemn and deciding.
“I could never hate you, Eli. And I may not know everything about your world and the people who we’ll meet along the way, but I’m graduating soon and I have no intentions of staying in this town. I want to…go everywhere, see everything. I want to go with you anywhere you’ll take me…and I want you to want to take me with you.”
“I do,” he said roughly and let his fingers move across my chin. “I want you. This isn’t about not wanting you. It’s about keeping you safe and you not regretting your life.”
“Then trust me. I think the safest place for me is with you, and I won’t regret it. I don’t regret anything. The things that we do and the things that happen…to us,” I gulped and pushed down memories, “they make us who we are.”
“You are a fascinating, breathtaking creature, CB. I hope you understand that to the fullest.”
“I do,” I said coyly and he cracked a smile. A real smile that was genuine and in no way to appease me.
“Last time I’ll ask and then I’m done. You’re sure you want this? You’re sure that I’m worth this?”
“No question. I think…” I felt the answer to one of my earlier internal questions come flitting to me and I rubbed my promise ring, “if my mom were here, she would have loved you.”
“You have no idea what you’ve done for me,” he said and his face twisted into an anguished expression. His hands on my sides squeezed a little and it hurt to see him so upset. “I’ve spent my whole life being a…parasite. I never wante
d this, Clara,” he said in a vehement beg. “Do you understand? I never wanted to be what I am.”
My breathing took ragged steps to work properly as I tried to comfort him by saying, “I know. But Eli, you’re not the same person anymore.”
“Because of you,” he said with a conviction that rumbled into my bones. “I won’t ever feed again from anyone. You’ve given me a gift beyond what I can imagine. I’ll never have to hurt anyone to survive again. I’ll be able to live normally and be myself with no fear of my nature taking me over. I’ll be free,” he mused and I smiled in understanding and nodded my head but he continued. “You saved me from being the monster I could have been.”
We were both free now and the impact of everything he said hit me like a piano from the second floor.
“I didn’t mean to upset you,” he said softly as he wiped under my eye. “I was harsh.”
“No, dummy. They’re tears of happiness.”
“Then, I’m honored,” he said quietly.
I smiled and hugged him tighter, my wet cheek resting on his chest. His warm arms encircled me once more and he kneaded my body with them, as if to assure and comfort me. He pressed and moved and I felt him kiss my hair. We stayed like that, content in our own thinking processes of what was happening.
And then the jerk who shared my guy’s face came and decided to grace us with his presence.
“Gross,” he muttered behind us. “If I’m going to have to bear witness to this every day, just kill me now.”
Thirteen
“Buzz off,” Eli said in dismissal and to my enjoyment and chagrin, he pulled my face up and planted a kiss on me that melted bones and forewent apology.
“Oh, bother,” Enoch groaned. “He’s told you already hasn’t he?”
“Yes,” Eli answered against my lips and pulled back to grasp my hand instead. “It seems we didn’t need your expertise after all,” he said sarcastically.
“Oh this is not over,” Enoch promised and came forward looking menacing and every bit of upset and angry as his fist hardened at his sides. “I thought you were going to try to talk her into letting you go.”
“What?” I looked at Eli accusingly. “You told him about that? I thought you just decided that when-“
“Clara,” Eli chided and smoothed my hair, “I have no idea what my idiot brother is talking about.”
“Standing right here,” Enoch muttered and crossed his arms. I noticed his eyebrow ring was gone now. Huh. “Look, I didn’t need you to tell me. I knew you, the selfless hero, would try to save her from her own stupidity and lack of self preservation.”
“That’s what I said,” I muttered under my breath, “only without the last part.”
“What?” Enoch hissed at me.
“We should talk, yes,” Eli agreed. “Let’s go into the park and find a spot.”
“You two are idiotic. I hope you know that,” Enoch muttered as he lead the way through the grass. It crunched under our feet and the night air had turned a little chilly. I regretted not wearing sleeves.
“Just shut up,” Eli answered him.
“This is not going to fly and you know it.” He turned to glare at us both, his gaze lingering on me a little longer than Eli. “You know what our kind will say, and to drag the feeler into it is just…cruel.”
Feeler?
“You care, brother?” Eli asked and smiled cockily.
“You can see the string just as easily as I can. I don’t want to care about her!” he yelled and came to stand in front of Eli with a swiftness that startled me. “I wasn’t made for this. I was not made to want to protect,” he looked down at me with disdain, “human girls, just use them.”
“Enoch,” Eli growled in warning.
“And for the record, this is by far the stupidest thing I’ve witnessed by you, brother. Her, I can see, but you? “
I stayed quiet though I wanted to say something in retaliation.
“I didn’t choose this but I wouldn’t change it,” Eli explained. “I know we have a rough road ahead, but I fully intend to avoid our kind at all costs. I know you weren’t made for this and it rubs you the wrong way to feel something for her,” Enoch let out a guttural retort to that, “but the thing is, you don’t have to like Clara. You just have to protect her.”
“Wait,” I could hold off no longer as my gaze latched onto the barbed string connecting my wrist to Enoch’s, “I don’t understand. Why does he have to protect me? Are we in trouble? Is your kind not supposed to…” I motioned between us to the string, “do this? Be connected like this?”
“They’re no rules. It’s not that we’re not supposed to, it just doesn’t happen very often,” Eli explained and rubbed my knuckles with his thumb. “It makes the others think the Devourer has gone soft. They think we’ll want to change the way things are for everyone. Like I told you, usually it’s a slavery type situation and though the mate may enjoy it - all the parties and the wild lifestyle - they don’t…love their Devourer.”
My cheeks burned. I pressed on.
“So why does Enoch need to protect me?”
“When one of us has a linkage with our mate, it means something a little different. Because my family is bound to you too, they will feel the need to protect you as well.”
“But we don’t have to like you,” Enoch made sure to point out.
“Your family is linked to me,” I repeated. “I’m bonded to your family. Does that mean you can all read my thoughts or something?”
“No,” Eli laughed, “it doesn’t really mean anything to you. You won’t ever feel anything from it, and neither will they except if you’re in danger. It sounds complicated but really, it’s not. It’s simple.” He pulled me to him again. “You chose me, I chose you. End of story.”
“Bloody hell,” Enoch muttered as I looked into Eli’s fathomless violets. “I’m out of here.”
“Where are you going?” Eli asked, keeping his eyes on mine.
“Away.”
“But we still haven’t discussed Angelina,” he told him and finally looked away from me to glare at Enoch. “Low blow, brother.“
“Well,” he gloated, “I thought your life here could use a little spice.”
“You brought her here?” I asked and accepted his hard stare with as much courage as I could muster.
“If it’s any consolation, it was before you were bound,” he said and smiled cruelly. “Man, I’d love to see a cat fight between you two. Though it wouldn’t last long,” he waged and shook his head thoughtfully.
“Enoch,” Eli barked, “I swear if you don’t stop I’ll-“
“You’ll what, brother? Behead me like they tried to do in Italy, or run with through with spikes like in Rome? Since you don’t remember, apparently, I’ll remind you; I can’t be killed, just as you can’t. So spare me your pathetic threats. It’s demeaning to our kind to watch you play human.”
“Don’t toy with us. Be on your way and leave us alone, but don’t play these games and invite trouble where there doesn’t have to be any.”
“Where’s the fun in that?”
“Everything isn’t about fun!” Eli yelled and even in the darkness and dim streetlights I saw the veins in his arms begin to bulge a hue of dark blue. “Sometimes things are serious and need to be handled as such. You’re a fool if you think that this can be settled with a little fight. This will cause problems all the way around if you don’t stop meddling. Angelina won’t take this lightly and you, being that you’re tied to Clara now, will have no choice but to help in the cause. Fitting, sense you caused all this to begin with.”
“I’m done,” Enoch said harshly. ”I didn’t sign up for any of this. I’m going to go somewhere far away. Somewhere anywhere but here.”
I thought Eli would try to say something, stop his brother who was clearly upset by all this. He didn’t. So I did. Little did I know it was a huge mistake.
“I’m sorry, Enoch. I didn’t realize-“
“Don’t,” he sne
ered. “You really think I want your pity?”
“I just thought…I didn’t mean for this to happen. I had no control-“
“Just stop talking,” he growled and took a step towards us.
“Watch it, Enoch,” Eli boomed beside me.
“What? You may not claim to be one anymore, brother, but I do. I am a Devourer! We don’t care if little girls are scared, in fact we revel in it. I can’t stay here, don’t you understand? I don’t care if something happened to make it this way between us all, I’m not sticking around to see the outcome. I don’t care if your human is happy or safe, ok? And it shames me to my core that you do.”